Just Joking

Karmics · Karmics

A man who, for years, drank too much, eventually had a confrontational discussion with his wife who said to him ?I?ve had enough of this. If you come home drunk one more time I?m leaving you?. A few days later he found himself the worse for drink (again) in his local pub. Retuning to the bar having visited...

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

I was shocked, confused, bewildered As I entered Heaven's Door, Not by the beauty of it all, Nor the lights of its décor. But it was the folks in Heaven who made me splutter and gasp-- The thieves, the liars, the sinners, The alcoholics and trash. There stood the kid from seventh grade Who swiped my lun...

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

DEAR DIARY-DAY 1. All packed up for the cruise ship---all my nicest dresses, swimsuits, short sets,...really really exciting... Our Women's Group...'The Late Bloomers'...decided on this all- girls trip of a lifetime...it will be my first one..and I can't wait!! DEAR DIARY - DAY 2. Entire day at...

Gundog · Gundog

The ATO decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to their office. The ATO auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his lawyer. The auditor said, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm n...

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

A woman gives birth to a baby and afterwards, the doctor comes in and he says, "I have to tell you something about your baby."The woman sits up in bed and says, "What's wrong with my baby doctor? What's wrong?"The doctor says, "Well, now, nothing's wrong, exactly, ...

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

One day The Lord came to Adam to pass on some news. "I've got some good news and some bad news," The Lord said. Adam looked at The Lord and said, "Well, give me the good news first." Smiling, The Lord explained , "I've got two new organs for you. One is called a brain. It will a...

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

Way back in the time of the samurai, there was a powerful emperor. This emperor needed a new head samurai. So, he sent out a message to everybody he knew for them to send a message to who they knew, and so forth.A year passes, and only three people show up: a Japanese samurai, a Chinese samurai, and a Jewi...

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

<Selling my stuff when I die..The older you are, and the longer you've been married, the funnier this is>..... One lazy Sunday morning the wife and I were quiet and thoughtful, sitting around the breakfast table when I said to her unexpectedly, "When I die, I want you to sell all my stuff i...

Hendo · Hendo

"Mummy, what sort of bear am I?" "Why, you're a polar bear son" "Mummy, are you really sure?" "Yes son, you're a white cuddly wuddly polar bear, if you don't believe me, ask your father." "Dad, am I really a polar bear?" "Of course you are,...

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

While walking down the street one day a Member of the Australian Federal Parliament is tragically hit by a truck and loses his life..... His soul arrives in Heaven and of course he is met by St. Peter at the Pearly Gates entrance.. "Welcome to Heaven", says St. Peter. Before you settle in, it...

Joe50 · Joe50

(You don't have to be Catholic to appreciate this one!) A man suffered a serious heart attack while shopping in a store. The store's staff called 000 when they saw him collapse to the floor. The paramedics rushed the man to the nearest hospital where he had emergency open heart bypass surgery. He awake...

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

Few more of Maxine's better ones......Hoo Roo

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

Cartoons for dog/animal lovers.......Hoo Roo

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

Business was terrible and not picking up. The Boss had to fire somebody, and he narrowed it down to one of two people, Debra or Jack. It was an impossible decision because they were both super workers. Rather than flip a coin, he decided he would fire the first one who used the water cooler the next mornin...

The Doo crew · The Doo crew

Now that they are retired, my mother and father were discussing all aspects of their future. "What will you do if I die before you do?" Dad asked Mom. After some thought, Mom said that she'd probably look for a house-sharing situation with three other single or widowed women who might be a li...

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

A young couple just arrived at the supermarket when their car conked out the man told his wife to still go and do the shopping and hopefully he can fix it by the time she gets back. The wife returned with the shopping to find a small group of spectators watching the work on the car, on closer inspection she n...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A manager walks by his blonde secretary's desk when he notices she is crying her eyes out. Concerned for her well being, he asked her gently: "What's the matter?" To which the blonde replies, Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my aunt had passed away. The boss, feeling very s...

Lesley F · Lesley F

http://www.dumpaday.com/funny-pictures/the-groupon-employee-in-charge-of-replying-to-comments-needs-a-serious-raise/

Collo · Collo

The room was full of pregnant women with their husbands. The instructor said: "Ladies, remember excerise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make delivery much easier. Just pace yourself, make plenty of stops and try to stay on a soft...

iana · iana

Some years ago, at David Jones or Myres, I picked up this book titled something like "Things you can say to women with out upsetting them" All the pages were blank!

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Drunk again? (Preview) A man who, for years, drank too much, eventually had a confrontational discussion with his wife who said to him ?I?ve had enough of this. If you come home drunk one more time I?m leaving you?. A few days later he found himself the worse for drink (again) in his local pub. Retuning to the bar having visited...	Karmics	0	751	12:03 PM Apr 29, 2015 by Karmics
	A lovely thought provoking poem....... (Preview) I was shocked, confused, bewildered As I entered Heaven's Door, Not by the beauty of it all, Nor the lights of its décor. But it was the folks in Heaven who made me splutter and gasp-- The thieves, the liars, the sinners, The alcoholics and trash. There stood the kid from seventh grade Who swiped my lun...	Goldfinger	0	793	11:48 AM Apr 29, 2015 by Goldfinger
	The Women's Group..First Cruise... (Preview) DEAR DIARY-DAY 1. All packed up for the cruise ship---all my nicest dresses, swimsuits, short sets,...really really exciting... Our Women's Group...'The Late Bloomers'...decided on this all- girls trip of a lifetime...it will be my first one..and I can't wait!! DEAR DIARY - DAY 2. Entire day at...	Goldfinger	0	752	11:32 AM Apr 29, 2015 by Goldfinger
	Grandpa and the Australian Taxation Office (Preview) The ATO decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to their office. The ATO auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his lawyer. The auditor said, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm n...	Gundog	3	1029	02:46 PM Apr 28, 2015 by grahos
	Ohhh this hurts (Preview) A woman gives birth to a baby and afterwards, the doctor comes in and he says, "I have to tell you something about your baby."The woman sits up in bed and says, "What's wrong with my baby doctor? What's wrong?"The doctor says, "Well, now, nothing's wrong, exactly, ...	Woody n Sue	0	712	12:51 PM Apr 28, 2015 by Woody n Sue
	Good News Bad News (Preview) One day The Lord came to Adam to pass on some news. "I've got some good news and some bad news," The Lord said. Adam looked at The Lord and said, "Well, give me the good news first." Smiling, The Lord explained , "I've got two new organs for you. One is called a brain. It will a...	Woody n Sue	0	607	09:06 PM Apr 27, 2015 by Woody n Sue
	Neat trick (Preview) Way back in the time of the samurai, there was a powerful emperor. This emperor needed a new head samurai. So, he sent out a message to everybody he knew for them to send a message to who they knew, and so forth.A year passes, and only three people show up: a Japanese samurai, a Chinese samurai, and a Jewi...	Woody n Sue	0	781	09:17 PM Apr 26, 2015 by Woody n Sue
	...Selling my stuff when I die....... (Preview) <Selling my stuff when I die..The older you are, and the longer you've been married, the funnier this is>..... One lazy Sunday morning the wife and I were quiet and thoughtful, sitting around the breakfast table when I said to her unexpectedly, "When I die, I want you to sell all my stuff i...	Goldfinger	1	1165	05:45 PM Apr 26, 2015 by Myrlin
	Polar Bear (Preview) "Mummy, what sort of bear am I?" "Why, you're a polar bear son" "Mummy, are you really sure?" "Yes son, you're a white cuddly wuddly polar bear, if you don't believe me, ask your father." "Dad, am I really a polar bear?" "Of course you are,...	Hendo	0	746	03:41 PM Apr 25, 2015 by Hendo
	..as the Lion of Oz said...'Ain't it da truth'...'Ain't it da truth'.... (Preview) While walking down the street one day a Member of the Australian Federal Parliament is tragically hit by a truck and loses his life..... His soul arrives in Heaven and of course he is met by St. Peter at the Pearly Gates entrance.. "Welcome to Heaven", says St. Peter. Before you settle in, it...	Goldfinger	0	956	10:13 AM Apr 25, 2015 by Goldfinger
	Catholic hospital bill (Preview) (You don't have to be Catholic to appreciate this one!) A man suffered a serious heart attack while shopping in a store. The store's staff called 000 when they saw him collapse to the floor. The paramedics rushed the man to the nearest hospital where he had emergency open heart bypass surgery. He awake...	Joe50	0	702	12:47 AM Apr 25, 2015 by Joe50
	Few more of Maxine's words of wisdom.. (Preview) Few more of Maxine's better ones......Hoo Roo	Goldfinger	0	778	06:01 PM Apr 22, 2015 by Goldfinger
	Cartoons for dog/animal lovers.... (Preview) Cartoons for dog/animal lovers.......Hoo Roo	Goldfinger	0	847	05:53 PM Apr 22, 2015 by Goldfinger
	Why Sentence Structure is Crucial.. (Preview) Business was terrible and not picking up. The Boss had to fire somebody, and he narrowed it down to one of two people, Debra or Jack. It was an impossible decision because they were both super workers. Rather than flip a coin, he decided he would fire the first one who used the water cooler the next mornin...	Goldfinger	0	826	05:39 PM Apr 22, 2015 by Goldfinger
	If I Die First... (Preview) Now that they are retired, my mother and father were discussing all aspects of their future. "What will you do if I die before you do?" Dad asked Mom. After some thought, Mom said that she'd probably look for a house-sharing situation with three other single or widowed women who might be a li...	The Doo crew	1	825	02:13 PM Apr 20, 2015 by grahos
	Car trouble (Preview) A young couple just arrived at the supermarket when their car conked out the man told his wife to still go and do the shopping and hopefully he can fix it by the time she gets back. The wife returned with the shopping to find a small group of spectators watching the work on the car, on closer inspection she n...	Woody n Sue	0	902	08:24 PM Apr 19, 2015 by Woody n Sue
	Blonde secretary... (Preview) A manager walks by his blonde secretary's desk when he notices she is crying her eyes out. Concerned for her well being, he asked her gently: "What's the matter?" To which the blonde replies, Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my aunt had passed away. The boss, feeling very s...	aussie_paul	0	789	06:59 PM Apr 19, 2015 by aussie_paul
	This Groupon employee needs a serious raise (Preview) http://www.dumpaday.com/funny-pictures/the-groupon-employee-in-charge-of-replying-to-comments-needs-a-serious-raise/	Lesley F	1	1212	03:42 PM Apr 19, 2015 by D and D
	Pregnant Ladies. (Preview) The room was full of pregnant women with their husbands. The instructor said: "Ladies, remember excerise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make delivery much easier. Just pace yourself, make plenty of stops and try to stay on a soft...	Collo	0	670	07:49 PM Apr 18, 2015 by Collo
	This is true. (Preview) Some years ago, at David Jones or Myres, I picked up this book titled something like "Things you can say to women with out upsetting them" All the pages were blank!	iana	0	668	04:14 PM Apr 18, 2015 by iana
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