Just Joking

nimrod · nimrod

Must have been VERY cold

Joe50 · Joe50

Click the link to see how the Catholic Church's new automatic confession service works. Due to an increase in the number of sinners and a decline in the number of new priests, the Church is finding it difficult to cope with the increase in confessions made by the flock. [url]https://www.youtube.com...

Phillipn · Phillipn

In a town in western Qld a young fellow went to see his great grand Ma who was on her last, and her memory of recent events was no the best. The great grand son said to her that she must be bed ridden from laying in bed for a long time, The old girl replied, sonny I have been bed ridden hundreds of times and tw...

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

Paddy thought his new girlfriend might be the one, but after looking through her knickers drawer and finding a Nurse's outfit, a French-maids outfit, and a Police women's uniform he finally decided if she can't hold down a job,..she's not for him...... I got sacked from my job as a Bingo Caller...ap...

Gunsondeck · Gunsondeck

Some bloke just rattled a tin at me in the street so I told him to piss off.I didn't realise he was legally blind and was indicating which end was it to get the lid off of his Pringles!!.. -- Edited by Gunsondeck on Friday 31st of July 2015 02:04:44 AM

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

An Irishman goes to his Doctor with botty problems..... 'Dacter, it's me ahrse. I'd loik ya ta tehyk a look, if you woot." So the Doctor gets him to drop is pants and takes a look. " Incredible" he says, by the look of it you've got a 20 pound note lodged up here". Tentatively he ease...

Yarra · Yarra

Twelve priests were about to be ordained. The final test was for them to line up in a straight row, totally nude, in a garden while a sexy, beautiful, big breasted, nude model danced before them. Each priest had a small bell attached to his winkie, and they were told that anyone whose bell ran...

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

A mate asked me, "and now that you are retired, do you have a part-time job......? I replied..."Well.....yes, I have become my wife's sexual adviser." "Somewhat shocked, he said " I beg your pardon, but what on earth do you mean by that......?" "Very simple...

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

IRISH FIRE INSURANCE. A man and his wife moved back home to Cork, from London. The wife had a wooden leg and to insure it in Britain was 2000 Pounds a year! When they arrived in Cork, they went to their local Insurance Agency to obtain a quote to insure her wooden leg. The Irish Insurance Agent looked it...

rockylizard · rockylizard

http://www.tickld.com/x/jaw/the-25-best-two-line-jokes-ever?utm_source=tickld&utm_medium=facebook&utm_campaign=twolinejokes&ts_pid=2&ts_pid=2&ts_pid=2

Yarra · Yarra

Ron, at 70 years old, always wanted a pair of soft spike golfshoes like Freddie Couples, so seeing some on sale after his round,he bought them and he was so delighted with his purchase decided towear them home to show the misses.Walking proudly into the house, he sauntered into the kitchen andsaid to h...

Yarra · Yarra

1. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night. 2. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized. 3. Since she cant get pregnant with her husband, I thought you might like to work her up. 4. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also...

Yarra · Yarra

Sign of the times

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

I pointed to two old drunks across the Bar from us and told my mate, "That could very well be us in another ten years." He said, "That's a mirror, you Dickhead...... Hoo Roo

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

I was just reading that there is substantially more money being spent on Breast Implants and Viagra today, than on Alzheimers' research...... This means that by 2040 there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs, and dried arrangements sporting huge erections, ....and abs...

Peter1059 · Peter1059

RETIRED HUSBAND After retiring, George's wife insisted that he accompany her on her trips to TESCO. (a British Supermarket Chain) Unfortunately, like most men, George found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, his wife is like most women - she loves to browse.....

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

A mother and her 5 year old son were flying Qantas from Sydney to Auckland. The son <who had been looking out the window> turned to his mother and asked, "Mummy...mummy...if big dogs have baby dogs, and big cats have baby cats...then why don't big planes have baby planes??" The moth...

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

I am hosting a charity concert for people who struggle to reach orgasm. If you can't come let me know..... Some interesting views on Elderly Sex... 1. Actually you can have a healthy sex life well into your later years...assuming you can stand the sight of people your age naked....... 2. One nigh...

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

A forlorn looking bloke sits down at the Bar and orders schooner after pint after handle after middy..... "Is everything okay mate?" the bartender asks. The bloke replies "my wife and I got into an argument and she said she wasn't talking to me for a whole month!" Trying to put a p...

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

I'll never forget how happy I was when I saw my missus walking down the aisle towards me. My heart was beating fast and the excitement was unbearable. It seemed to take an age, but eventually, there she was, standing beside me. I gave her a loving smile and said, "Get that trolley over here, Love....

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	A cold day in the desert (Preview) Must have been VERY cold	nimrod	0	870	06:21 PM Aug 3, 2015 by nimrod
	Automatic confession service (Preview) Click the link to see how the Catholic Church's new automatic confession service works. Due to an increase in the number of sinners and a decline in the number of new priests, the Church is finding it difficult to cope with the increase in confessions made by the flock. [url]https://www.youtube.com...	Joe50	3	864	09:33 AM Aug 3, 2015 by 2weis
	Bed Ridden (Preview) In a town in western Qld a young fellow went to see his great grand Ma who was on her last, and her memory of recent events was no the best. The great grand son said to her that she must be bed ridden from laying in bed for a long time, The old girl replied, sonny I have been bed ridden hundreds of times and tw...	Phillipn	1	841	01:18 PM Aug 2, 2015 by Ontos45
	....may offend some... (Preview) Paddy thought his new girlfriend might be the one, but after looking through her knickers drawer and finding a Nurse's outfit, a French-maids outfit, and a Police women's uniform he finally decided if she can't hold down a job,..she's not for him...... I got sacked from my job as a Bingo Caller...ap...	Goldfinger	0	932	12:39 PM Aug 1, 2015 by Goldfinger
	My mistake... (Preview) Some bloke just rattled a tin at me in the street so I told him to piss off.I didn't realise he was legally blind and was indicating which end was it to get the lid off of his Pringles!!.. -- Edited by Gunsondeck on Friday 31st of July 2015 02:04:44 AM	Gunsondeck	8	1581	12:18 PM Aug 1, 2015 by Goldfinger
	An Oirish Story...as only the Oirish can tell it... (Preview) An Irishman goes to his Doctor with botty problems..... 'Dacter, it's me ahrse. I'd loik ya ta tehyk a look, if you woot." So the Doctor gets him to drop is pants and takes a look. " Incredible" he says, by the look of it you've got a 20 pound note lodged up here". Tentatively he ease...	Goldfinger	0	901	12:34 AM Jul 30, 2015 by Goldfinger
	12 Priests (Preview) Twelve priests were about to be ordained. The final test was for them to line up in a straight row, totally nude, in a garden while a sexy, beautiful, big breasted, nude model danced before them. Each priest had a small bell attached to his winkie, and they were told that anyone whose bell ran...	Yarra	1	912	09:20 PM Jul 29, 2015 by Hey Jim
	RETIRED MAN'S JOB.... (Preview) A mate asked me, "and now that you are retired, do you have a part-time job......? I replied..."Well.....yes, I have become my wife's sexual adviser." "Somewhat shocked, he said " I beg your pardon, but what on earth do you mean by that......?" "Very simple...	Goldfinger	2	819	06:56 PM Jul 29, 2015 by Felicia
	IRISH LOGIC..... (Preview) IRISH FIRE INSURANCE. A man and his wife moved back home to Cork, from London. The wife had a wooden leg and to insure it in Britain was 2000 Pounds a year! When they arrived in Cork, they went to their local Insurance Agency to obtain a quote to insure her wooden leg. The Irish Insurance Agent looked it...	Goldfinger	1	1082	06:49 PM Jul 29, 2015 by Felicia
	Don't groan .... simply smile and move on ..... (Preview) http://www.tickld.com/x/jaw/the-25-best-two-line-jokes-ever?utm_source=tickld&utm_medium=facebook&utm_campaign=twolinejokes&ts_pid=2&ts_pid=2&ts_pid=2	rockylizard	0	987	04:32 PM Jul 28, 2015 by rockylizard
	New golf shoes (Preview) Ron, at 70 years old, always wanted a pair of soft spike golfshoes like Freddie Couples, so seeing some on sale after his round,he bought them and he was so delighted with his purchase decided towear them home to show the misses.Walking proudly into the house, he sauntered into the kitchen andsaid to h...	Yarra	0	729	12:21 PM Jul 28, 2015 by Yarra
	30 Actual Sentences Found In Patients Hospital Charts. Is #17 Serious? (Preview) 1. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night. 2. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized. 3. Since she cant get pregnant with her husband, I thought you might like to work her up. 4. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also...	Yarra	0	819	12:12 PM Jul 28, 2015 by Yarra
	Visit To Grandma These Days (Preview) Sign of the times	Yarra	1	920	08:47 PM Jul 25, 2015 by Dunmowin
	At the Bar.... (Preview) I pointed to two old drunks across the Bar from us and told my mate, "That could very well be us in another ten years." He said, "That's a mirror, you Dickhead...... Hoo Roo	Goldfinger	1	885	06:14 PM Jul 24, 2015 by Felicia
	Where are our Research Priorities?..... (Preview) I was just reading that there is substantially more money being spent on Breast Implants and Viagra today, than on Alzheimers' research...... This means that by 2040 there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs, and dried arrangements sporting huge erections, ....and abs...	Goldfinger	0	768	10:52 AM Jul 23, 2015 by Goldfinger
	Shopping (Preview) *RETIRED HUSBAND* After retiring, George's wife insisted that he accompany her on her trips to TESCO. (a British Supermarket Chain) Unfortunately, like most men, George found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, his wife is like most women - she loves to browse.....	Peter1059	1	1089	09:10 AM Jul 23, 2015 by done dreaming
	All part of the job...and thank you for flying Qantas!... (Preview) A mother and her 5 year old son were flying Qantas from Sydney to Auckland. The son <who had been looking out the window> turned to his mother and asked, "Mummy...mummy...if big dogs have baby dogs, and big cats have baby cats...then why don't big planes have baby planes??" The moth...	Goldfinger	0	854	09:44 AM Jul 22, 2015 by Goldfinger
	...... a few humourous takes on Elderly Sex.... a tad P/Incorrect. (Preview) I am hosting a charity concert for people who struggle to reach orgasm. If you can't come let me know..... Some interesting views on Elderly Sex... 1. Actually you can have a healthy sex life well into your later years...assuming you can stand the sight of people your age naked....... 2. One nigh...	Goldfinger	0	1021	09:14 AM Jul 22, 2015 by Goldfinger
	A forlorn looking bloke sits down at the Bar........ (Preview) A forlorn looking bloke sits down at the Bar and orders schooner after pint after handle after middy..... "Is everything okay mate?" the bartender asks. The bloke replies "my wife and I got into an argument and she said she wasn't talking to me for a whole month!" Trying to put a p...	Goldfinger	2	799	05:53 PM Jul 21, 2015 by Felicia
	True Love! (Preview) I'll never forget how happy I was when I saw my missus walking down the aisle towards me. My heart was beating fast and the excitement was unbearable. It seemed to take an age, but eventually, there she was, standing beside me. I gave her a loving smile and said, "Get that trolley over here, Love....	Goldfinger	1	730	05:52 PM Jul 21, 2015 by Felicia
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