Just Joking

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

Several men are in the locker room of their Golf Club. A cellular phone on the bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk. All the other blokes in the room stop to listen. MAN: "Hello" WOMAN: "Hi Honey, it's me. Are you at the Club?" MAN: "...

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike, "My elbow hurts like hell"! "I guess I'd better see a Doctor"... "Listen mate, you don't have to spend that kind of money"..Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer down at Aldi's..." &quo...

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

A bloke who had spent the stint working over seas working turned up at his old pub and sighed with a nostalgically to the barmaid . do you know it's been a full seven years since I last had a beer here . She glared back at him and said Look it's my first night here and I am working as fast as I can which reminds m...

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

A seasoned station hand visited his doctor and said : I don't know what's wrong dock but my stomach keeps turning over and over and I feel really bad . hop on the bed here said the doc and I'll give you a through examination after about 10 minuets the doc sighed and said I can't find anything wrong with you b...

george57 · george57

An example of positive attitude..... Late in the night he regained consciousness.... He found himself in agonising pain in the hospital's ICU with tubes up his nose, wires monitoring every function, and a gorgeous nurse hovering over him. Slowly he realized he'd been in a serious accident, with...

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

<I only recently saw this site and am having a ball posting a few of my favourites I've heard round the camp fire>..trust you enjoy...this is not risque' A Scottish couple took in an 18 year old girl as a lodger. The girl asked if she could take a bath, but the woman of the house told het they don't ha...

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

Ozzie aged 92 and Nola age 89, living on the Gold Coast, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss their wedding plans and on the way pass a substantial Pharmacy...and Ozzie suggests they go in... Ozzie addresses the Pharmacist behind the counter: 'Are you th...

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

Murphy applied for a fork lift operator post at a famous Irish firm based in Dublin. A Norwegian applied for the same job and since both applicants had similar qualifications they were asked to take a test and led to a quiet room with no interruptions by the Manager. When the results were in, both men had...

Redlander · Redlander

Irish Medical Dictionary Artery: The study of paintings. Bacteria: Back door to cafeteria. Barium: What you do when patients die. Benign: What you be, after you be eight. Caesarean Section: A neighbourhood in Rome. Catscan: Searching for Kitty. Cauterize: Made eye contact with her. Colic: A shee...

Kev-Maz · Kev-Maz

You can tell the sex of an ant by dropping it into a jug of water. If it sinks: girl ant If it floats: boy ant

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

Little 10 year old Freddie goes for a long weekend with his uncle a wealthy farmer ( there's not many of them around ) On the first evening when uncle John and his wife are entertaining guests with ****tails they are interrupted by an out of breath Freddie, who shouts Uncle John come quick the bull is ju...

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

A cowboy said to the New Zealand rancher is that your dog, yup the rancher replied, Mind if I talk to him Darn fool don't you know dogs don't talk. The cowboy replied so what's the harm? Howdy said the cowboy to the dog Hello said the dog the Ranchers eyes popped wide The cowboy continued, is this your m...

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

A bloke walks into a bar in Christchurch, New Zealand and orders a shandy... All the Kiwis sitting around the bar look up, expecting just to see another Aussie visitor... The barman says, "you ain't from around here are ya?" The bloke says "No, I'm a Canuck.....from Canada." Th...

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

<This is not as risque' as it may first appear..> A young Lady goes to her Doctor and confides she wants an 'operation' because she feels her vagina lips are toooo large. She respectively asks her Doctor to keep her 'operation' a secret, as she's embarrassed and doesn't want anyone to find out....

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

Excerpt from an article which I believe appeared in the Dublin Times about a Bank Robbery on December 2nd.... Subtitled 'THE VANILLA PUDDING ROBBERY'. ....'Once inside the Bank shortly after midnight, their efforts at disabling the security system got underway immediately. The robbers who exp...

Russue · Russue

Medicare Part G -- NursingHome Plan: Picture this. You're a sick senior citizen and the government says there is no Nursing Home care available for you. So, what can you do? Why not use our Medicare Part G -- Nursing Home Plan Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older, a gun (Part G),and four bullets. You...

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

Recounted to me by an old prospecting mate round the camp fire...... In the arid interior of Australia an old Gold Prospector is staggering along with his faithfull old Blue Heeler "Bluey" by his side...water has given out that morning and no food.......... ..... He looks into th...

Jenzarl · Jenzarl

A cat died and went to heaven. God met her at the gates and said, You have been a good cat all these years. Anything you want is yours for the asking. The cat thought for a minute and the said, All my life I lived on a farm and slept on hard wooden floors. I would like a real fluffy pillow to sleep on. God said Say n...

Redlander · Redlander

A HUSBAND WHO LISTENS He said: "What can I help you with? She said: Take this bag of potatoes, Peel half of them and put them in the pot for me Dedicated To all those husbands out there who really try!

D and D · D and D

Maybe a bit late for Australia Day 2015 but what do you reckon for 2016 :) http://youtu.be/xiEycVMKoJo

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	The Perfect Husband... (Preview) Several men are in the locker room of their Golf Club. A cellular phone on the bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk. All the other blokes in the room stop to listen. MAN: "Hello" WOMAN: "Hi Honey, it's me. Are you at the Club?" MAN: "...	Goldfinger	0	802	09:32 PM Feb 10, 2015 by Goldfinger
	WoW!..This is what you call an accurate diagnostic computer..... (Preview) One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike, "My elbow hurts like hell"! "I guess I'd better see a Doctor"... "Listen mate, you don't have to spend that kind of money"..Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer down at Aldi's..." &quo...	Goldfinger	1	808	06:56 PM Feb 10, 2015 by Woody n Sue
	Simple explanation (Preview) A bloke who had spent the stint working over seas working turned up at his old pub and sighed with a nostalgically to the barmaid . do you know it's been a full seven years since I last had a beer here . She glared back at him and said Look it's my first night here and I am working as fast as I can which reminds m...	Woody n Sue	0	684	06:54 PM Feb 10, 2015 by Woody n Sue
	Just a matter of time (Preview) A seasoned station hand visited his doctor and said : I don't know what's wrong dock but my stomach keeps turning over and over and I feel really bad . hop on the bed here said the doc and I'll give you a through examination after about 10 minuets the doc sighed and said I can't find anything wrong with you b...	Woody n Sue	0	616	06:42 PM Feb 10, 2015 by Woody n Sue
	Positive Attitude (Preview) An example of positive attitude..... Late in the night he regained consciousness.... He found himself in agonising pain in the hospital's ICU with tubes up his nose, wires monitoring every function, and a gorgeous nurse hovering over him. Slowly he realized he'd been in a serious accident, with...	george57	0	658	05:57 PM Feb 10, 2015 by george57
	Bath Night in Scotland..... (Preview) <I only recently saw this site and am having a ball posting a few of my favourites I've heard round the camp fire>..trust you enjoy...this is not risque' A Scottish couple took in an 18 year old girl as a lodger. The girl asked if she could take a bath, but the woman of the house told het they don't ha...	Goldfinger	0	1002	01:54 PM Feb 10, 2015 by Goldfinger
	Senior Wedding....... (Preview) Ozzie aged 92 and Nola age 89, living on the Gold Coast, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss their wedding plans and on the way pass a substantial Pharmacy...and Ozzie suggests they go in... Ozzie addresses the Pharmacist behind the counter: 'Are you th...	Goldfinger	0	735	10:53 AM Feb 10, 2015 by Goldfinger
	The Irish Job Interview.... (Preview) Murphy applied for a fork lift operator post at a famous Irish firm based in Dublin. A Norwegian applied for the same job and since both applicants had similar qualifications they were asked to take a test and led to a quiet room with no interruptions by the Manager. When the results were in, both men had...	Goldfinger	0	763	10:36 AM Feb 10, 2015 by Goldfinger
	Irish Medical Dictionary (Preview) Irish Medical Dictionary Artery: The study of paintings. Bacteria: Back door to cafeteria. Barium: What you do when patients die. Benign: What you be, after you be eight. Caesarean Section: A neighbourhood in Rome. Catscan: Searching for Kitty. Cauterize: Made eye contact with her. Colic: A shee...	Redlander	0	823	07:23 AM Feb 10, 2015 by Redlander
	How to work out the sex of ants (Sorry) (Preview) You can tell the sex of an ant by dropping it into a jug of water. If it sinks: girl ant If it floats: boy ant	Kev-Maz	1	691	02:37 PM Feb 9, 2015 by toffee
	Ok sorry about the last one don't know what went wrong but I fixed it here is another (Preview) Little 10 year old Freddie goes for a long weekend with his uncle a wealthy farmer ( there's not many of them around ) On the first evening when uncle John and his wife are entertaining guests with ****tails they are interrupted by an out of breath Freddie, who shouts Uncle John come quick the bull is ju...	Woody n Sue	0	616	01:35 PM Feb 8, 2015 by Woody n Sue
	Talking to the farm animals (Preview) A cowboy said to the New Zealand rancher is that your dog, yup the rancher replied, Mind if I talk to him Darn fool don't you know dogs don't talk. The cowboy replied so what's the harm? Howdy said the cowboy to the dog Hello said the dog the Ranchers eyes popped wide The cowboy continued, is this your m...	Woody n Sue	1	808	11:20 AM Feb 8, 2015 by petengail
	.....A bloke walks into a bar in Christchurch N.Z....... (Preview) A bloke walks into a bar in Christchurch, New Zealand and orders a shandy... All the Kiwis sitting around the bar look up, expecting just to see another Aussie visitor... The barman says, "you ain't from around here are ya?" The bloke says "No, I'm a Canuck.....from Canada." Th...	Goldfinger	1	958	10:57 AM Feb 7, 2015 by Ontos45
	Three beautiful red roses by her hospital pillow........ (Preview) <This is not as risque' as it may first appear..> A young Lady goes to her Doctor and confides she wants an 'operation' because she feels her vagina lips are toooo large. She respectively asks her Doctor to keep her 'operation' a secret, as she's embarrassed and doesn't want anyone to find out....	Goldfinger	0	751	09:34 AM Feb 7, 2015 by Goldfinger
	Excerpt from Dublin Times..Vanilla Pudding Robbery.... (Preview) Excerpt from an article which I believe appeared in the Dublin Times about a Bank Robbery on December 2nd.... Subtitled 'THE VANILLA PUDDING ROBBERY'. ....'Once inside the Bank shortly after midnight, their efforts at disabling the security system got underway immediately. The robbers who exp...	Goldfinger	0	735	05:34 PM Feb 6, 2015 by Goldfinger
	The Easy Fix (Preview) Medicare Part G -- NursingHome Plan: Picture this. You're a sick senior citizen and the government says there is no Nursing Home care available for you. So, what can you do? Why not use our Medicare Part G -- Nursing Home Plan Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older, a gun (Part G),and four bullets. You...	Russue	4	1058	11:44 AM Feb 6, 2015 by navynurse
	Faithfull Ol' Bluey.....a man's best mate.... (Preview) Recounted to me by an old prospecting mate round the camp fire...... In the arid interior of Australia an old Gold Prospector is staggering along with his faithfull old Blue Heeler "Bluey" by his side...water has given out that morning and no food.......... ..... He looks into th...	Goldfinger	0	715	10:53 PM Feb 5, 2015 by Goldfinger
	The Cat - an oldie but a goodie (Preview) A cat died and went to heaven. God met her at the gates and said, You have been a good cat all these years. Anything you want is yours for the asking. The cat thought for a minute and the said, All my life I lived on a farm and slept on hard wooden floors. I would like a real fluffy pillow to sleep on. God said Say n...	Jenzarl	0	645	06:53 PM Feb 5, 2015 by Jenzarl
	Just One Job (Preview) A HUSBAND WHO LISTENS He said: "What can I help you with? She said: Take this bag of potatoes, Peel half of them and put them in the pot for me Dedicated To all those husbands out there who really try!	Redlander	1	1279	09:39 PM Feb 4, 2015 by grahos
	Our National Anthem (Preview) Maybe a bit late for Australia Day 2015 but what do you reckon for 2016 :) http://youtu.be/xiEycVMKoJo	D and D	1	854	07:25 PM Jan 31, 2015 by rockylizard
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