Just Joking

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A Scotsman walks into the Bank of England in Threadneedle Street, Central London and asks for the manager. He tells the manager that he is going to Australia on business for two weeks and needs to borrow £5,000. The manager tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so Hamish h...

Yarra · Yarra

I'm selling my pet Python on the Internet. A bloke just rang up and asked if it was big. I said, "It's massive." He said, How many feet?" I said none you idiot!."It's a f******g Snake"!!..

Hendo · Hendo

A guy walks into a bar and orders a whiskey. Just before he takes a sip of his whiskey, a guy runs in and says, "Bill, your house burnt down!" So he runs outside, but then he thinks, "I don't have a house," so he goes back into the bar and takes a sip of his whiskey. Another guy runs in and...

Lesley F · Lesley F

I hope you laugh as much as I do!!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o9zXXLUkiTs

Lesley F · Lesley F

I've posted this previously, but it's a good laugh - this guy is "cute" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i-3cuCEt9k8

Hendo · Hendo

Amazing word lessonThis is the best, most Interesting English lesson I have had to date.Did you know "listen" and "silent" use the same letters?Do you know that the word "racecar" spelled backwards still spells "racecar"?And that "eat"...

Lesley F · Lesley F

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KpBYnL5fAXE

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Everyone seems to be in such a hurry to scream 'racism' these days. A customer asked, "In what aisle could I find the Guinness?" The shop assistant asks, "Are you Irish?" The guy, clearly offended, says, "Yes I am. But let me ask you something, If I had asked for Italian saus...

Possum3 · Possum3

As the coffin of a Parking Officer was being lowered into the grave, a voice from inside the coffin screams, Im not dead! Im not dead! Let me out. Let me out. The Vicar smiles, leans forward and, sucking air through his teeth, mutters, Too late, mate. Ive already done the paperwork.

Young Simmo · Young Simmo

A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her.Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket towards the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A man brings his best buddy home for dinner unannounced at 5:30 after work. His wife begins screaming at him and his friend just sits and listens in."My hair & makeup are not done, the house is a mess, the dishes are not done,I'm still in my pyjamas and I can't be bothered with cooking tonight....

kiwijims · kiwijims

K.J.

kiwijims · kiwijims

Ten Times Normal Size The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class,"Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?" No one answered until little Mary stood up and said, "You should not be asking sixth-graders a question like that! I'm going t...

Yarra · Yarra

Possum3 · Possum3

I thought this was worth posting

Baggie · Baggie

A teacher gives the class some "life savers", the candy with the hole. The children identify the flavors by their colours Red is Cherry Yellow is Lemon Green is Lime Orange is Orange Finally the teacher gave them all honey lifesavers. None of the kids could identify the taste. The teacher...

Hendo · Hendo

Shane and Phil were a couple of drinking buddies who worked as aircraft engineers in Melbourne, Australia. One day the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in the hangar with nothing to do. Phil said, 'Man, I wish we had something to drink!' Shane says, 'Me too. Y'know, I've heard you c...

rockylizard · rockylizard

Young Simmo · Young Simmo

Working people frequently ask us, as a retired couple, what we do to make our days interesting. Well, the other day my wife and I went into town and went into a shop. We were only in there for about five minutes. When we came out, there was a policeman writing out a parking ticket. We went up to him and sa...

Aus-Kiwi · Aus-Kiwi

Since I'm getting it it isn't .. But ahh !

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Bank Loan to a Scotsman (Preview) A Scotsman walks into the Bank of England in Threadneedle Street, Central London and asks for the manager. He tells the manager that he is going to Australia on business for two weeks and needs to borrow £5,000. The manager tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so Hamish h...	aussie_paul	2	995	10:34 AM Dec 4, 2015 by sheeds
	Python (Preview) I'm selling my pet Python on the Internet. A bloke just rang up and asked if it was big. I said, "It's massive." He said, How many feet?" I said none you idiot!."It's a f******g Snake"!!..	Yarra	1	956	08:08 PM Dec 3, 2015 by rockylizard
	Bill (Preview) A guy walks into a bar and orders a whiskey. Just before he takes a sip of his whiskey, a guy runs in and says, "Bill, your house burnt down!" So he runs outside, but then he thinks, "I don't have a house," so he goes back into the bar and takes a sip of his whiskey. Another guy runs in and...	Hendo	0	1109	04:59 PM Dec 3, 2015 by Hendo
	Mrs Brown rehearses for the Virgin Mary (Preview) I hope you laugh as much as I do!!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o9zXXLUkiTs	Lesley F	1	1019	04:36 PM Dec 3, 2015 by Felicia
	Gay referee at a soccer match (Preview) I've posted this previously, but it's a good laugh - this guy is "cute" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i-3cuCEt9k8	Lesley F	0	952	08:34 PM Dec 2, 2015 by Lesley F
	English Lesson (Preview) Amazing word lessonThis is the best, most Interesting English lesson I have had to date.Did you know "listen" and "silent" use the same letters?Do you know that the word "racecar" spelled backwards still spells "racecar"?And that "eat"...	Hendo	5	1327	06:37 PM Dec 2, 2015 by Plain Truth
	Adam Hills on Australian accents - very funny (Preview) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KpBYnL5fAXE	Lesley F	0	797	01:13 PM Dec 2, 2015 by Lesley F
	Racism.. (Preview) Everyone seems to be in such a hurry to scream 'racism' these days. A customer asked, "In what aisle could I find the Guinness?" The shop assistant asks, "Are you Irish?" The guy, clearly offended, says, "Yes I am. But let me ask you something, If I had asked for Italian saus...	aussie_paul	1	1015	05:50 PM Dec 1, 2015 by Bryan
	Too late. (Preview) As the coffin of a Parking Officer was being lowered into the grave, a voice from inside the coffin screams, Im not dead! Im not dead! Let me out. Let me out. The Vicar smiles, leans forward and, sucking air through his teeth, mutters, Too late, mate. Ive already done the paperwork.	Possum3	0	843	10:47 AM Dec 1, 2015 by Possum3
	Sorry (Preview) A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her.Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket towards the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it...	Young Simmo	1	1040	10:09 AM Dec 1, 2015 by Possum3
	A man brings his best buddy home for dinner (Preview) A man brings his best buddy home for dinner unannounced at 5:30 after work. His wife begins screaming at him and his friend just sits and listens in."My hair & makeup are not done, the house is a mess, the dishes are not done,I'm still in my pyjamas and I can't be bothered with cooking tonight....	aussie_paul	0	1084	11:52 AM Nov 30, 2015 by aussie_paul
	incorrect statements (Preview) K.J.	kiwijims	0	1133	06:31 PM Nov 29, 2015 by kiwijims
	little girl with a dirty mind (Preview) Ten Times Normal Size The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class,"Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?" No one answered until little Mary stood up and said, "You should not be asking sixth-graders a question like that! I'm going t...	kiwijims	0	955	06:13 PM Nov 29, 2015 by kiwijims
	Preggers (Preview)	Yarra	0	930	03:52 PM Nov 29, 2015 by Yarra
	She will soon (Preview) I thought this was worth posting	Possum3	2	1167	04:47 PM Nov 26, 2015 by erad
	Lifesavers. (Preview) A teacher gives the class some "life savers", the candy with the hole. The children identify the flavors by their colours Red is Cherry Yellow is Lemon Green is Lime Orange is Orange Finally the teacher gave them all honey lifesavers. None of the kids could identify the taste. The teacher...	Baggie	1	976	07:37 AM Nov 26, 2015 by 03_Troopy
	Jet Fuel (Preview) Shane and Phil were a couple of drinking buddies who worked as aircraft engineers in Melbourne, Australia. One day the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in the hangar with nothing to do. Phil said, 'Man, I wish we had something to drink!' Shane says, 'Me too. Y'know, I've heard you c...	Hendo	0	948	07:11 AM Nov 26, 2015 by Hendo
	Why not ! ? ! (Preview)	rockylizard	0	999	07:06 AM Nov 26, 2015 by rockylizard
	Winners are Grinners. (Preview) Working people frequently ask us, as a retired couple, what we do to make our days interesting. Well, the other day my wife and I went into town and went into a shop. We were only in there for about five minutes. When we came out, there was a policeman writing out a parking ticket. We went up to him and sa...	Young Simmo	1	1318	11:17 AM Nov 25, 2015 by 03_Troopy
	Some how not funny .. (Preview) Since I'm getting it it isn't .. But ahh !	Aus-Kiwi	1	937	08:50 PM Nov 24, 2015 by Baz421
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