Just Joking

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

As the doctor began his examination of an elderly slightly deaf patient he placed his stethoscope on her chest he instructed "big breaths " "yes they us to be" she remorsfully replied

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Walking through a supermarket, a young man noticed an old lady following him around. He ignored her for a while, but when he got to the checkout line, she got in front of him. Pardon me, she said. Im sorry if Ive been staring, but you look just like my son who died recently. Im sorry for your loss, the...

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

AN OLD WOMAN WALKED UP AND TIED HER OLD MULE TO THE HITCHING POST. AS SHE STOOD THERE, BRUSHING SOME OF THE DUST FROM HER FACE AND CLOTHES, A YOUNG GUNSLINGER STEPPED OUT OF THE SALOON WITH A GUN IN ONE HAND AND A BOTTLE OF WHISKEY IN THE OTHER. THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER LOOKED AT THE OLD WOMAN AND LAUGHED, "...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A man and woman were married for many years. Whenever there was a confrontation, yelling could be heard deep into the night. The old man would shout, "When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!" Neighbours feared him. The old ma...

Dreamweaver · Dreamweaver

And the Lord said to Jacob "Come forth and you will receive eternal life". But Jacob came fifth and got a toaster.

dorian · dorian

A police officer called the station on his radio. "I have an interesting case here. An old lady shot her husband for stepping on the floor she just mopped." "Have you arrested the woman?" "Not yet. The floor's still wet." [url]http://clubadventist.com/forum...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

My Long Search for my Ideal Job 1. My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned. Couldn't concentrate. 2. Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack, but just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe. 3. After that, I tried being a tailor, but wasn't suited for it mainly be...

kiwijims · kiwijims

I was at the bar the other night and overheard three very hefty women talking at the bar Their accent appeared to be Scottish, so I approached and asked, "Hello, are you three lassies from Scotland? One of them angrily screeched, "It's Wales, Wales you bloody idiot!" So I apologized...

astroid60 · astroid60

SEENAGER I am a Seenager. (Senior teenager) I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 60 years later. I dont have to go to school or work. I get an allowance (pensions). I have my own pad. I dont have a curfew.I have a drivers license and my own car. I have ID that gets me into bars. The pe...

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

METHINKS THIS HAS BEEN ADAPTED TO COVER OUR PAST 4 X LEADERS, HOWEVER, WHY NOT AGAIN ! Bill Shorten walked into a bank to cash a chequeWhen hes called over to the teller, he says, "Good morning, could you please cash this cheque for me?"The teller r...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

JC.

Yarra · Yarra

Yesterday morning I bought two cases of beer on sale at the Beer Store.I placed them on the front seat and headed back home.I stopped at a service station where a drop-dead gorgeous blonde was filling up her car at the next pump.Although it was very cold she was wearing a very short skirt and a light jac...

kandagal · kandagal

There was an Englishman, A Scotsman & an Irishman who all wanted to attend the Olympic Games but had no money for a ticket. The Englishman had an idea & he picked up a long pole he saw lying on the ground, tucked it under his arm & walked up to the gate & said, "Gibson, England, pole v...

Aus-Kiwi · Aus-Kiwi

http://www.stuff.co.nz/sport/racing/72356960/new-zealand-racing-commentator-takes-pop-at-wallabies-while-calling-race

Possum3 · Possum3

A dog lover, whose dog was a female and "in heat, agreed to look after her neighbour's male dog while the neighbour was on vacation. She had a large house and she believed that she could keep the two dogs apart. ... However, as she was drifting off to sleep, she heard awful howling and moaning sounds...

spida · spida

What I Want In A Man! Original List: 1. Handsome 2. Charming 3. Financially successful 4. A caring listener 5. Witty 6. In good shape 7. Dresses with style 8. Appreciates finer things 9. Full of thoughtful surprises What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 32) 1. Nice looking 2. Opens car d...

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

A man with a winking problem is applying for a position as a sales representative for a large firm. The interviewer looks over his papers and says, "This is phenomenal, you've graduated from the best schools, your recommendations are wonderful, and your experience is unparalleled. Normal...

rockylizard · rockylizard

-- Edited by rockylizard on Wednesday 23rd of September 2015 11:26:41 AM

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

Yarra · Yarra

Winner of Chicago Tribune's best tweet of the week:"I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant but apparently it just changes the colour of the baby."

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Doctors examination (Preview) As the doctor began his examination of an elderly slightly deaf patient he placed his stethoscope on her chest he instructed "big breaths " "yes they us to be" she remorsfully replied	Woody n Sue	0	818	05:04 PM Oct 3, 2015 by Woody n Sue
	You Remind Me of My Son... (Preview) Walking through a supermarket, a young man noticed an old lady following him around. He ignored her for a while, but when he got to the checkout line, she got in front of him. Pardon me, she said. Im sorry if Ive been staring, but you look just like my son who died recently. Im sorry for your loss, the...	aussie_paul	0	758	11:16 AM Oct 2, 2015 by aussie_paul
	Don't mess with old people; they didn't get old by being stupid (Preview) AN OLD WOMAN WALKED UP AND TIED HER OLD MULE TO THE HITCHING POST. AS SHE STOOD THERE, BRUSHING SOME OF THE DUST FROM HER FACE AND CLOTHES, A YOUNG GUNSLINGER STEPPED OUT OF THE SALOON WITH A GUN IN ONE HAND AND A BOTTLE OF WHISKEY IN THE OTHER. THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER LOOKED AT THE OLD WOMAN AND LAUGHED, "...	Woody n Sue	0	1277	10:40 PM Oct 1, 2015 by Woody n Sue
	JOKES - ENJOY! (Preview) A man and woman were married for many years. Whenever there was a confrontation, yelling could be heard deep into the night. The old man would shout, "When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!" Neighbours feared him. The old ma...	aussie_paul	1	1369	08:27 PM Sep 30, 2015 by Felicia
	Religious joke (Preview) And the Lord said to Jacob "Come forth and you will receive eternal life". But Jacob came fifth and got a toaster.	Dreamweaver	0	883	07:48 PM Sep 30, 2015 by Dreamweaver
	Wet floor (Preview) A police officer called the station on his radio. "I have an interesting case here. An old lady shot her husband for stepping on the floor she just mopped." "Have you arrested the woman?" "Not yet. The floor's still wet." [url]http://clubadventist.com/forum...	dorian	2	959	05:53 PM Sep 30, 2015 by 03_Troopy
	My Long Search for my Ideal Job... (Preview) My Long Search for my Ideal Job 1. My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned. Couldn't concentrate. 2. Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack, but just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe. 3. After that, I tried being a tailor, but wasn't suited for it mainly be...	aussie_paul	2	1034	01:12 PM Sep 30, 2015 by grahos
	Thar she blows (Preview) I was at the bar the other night and overheard three very hefty women talking at the bar Their accent appeared to be Scottish, so I approached and asked, "Hello, are you three lassies from Scotland? One of them angrily screeched, "It's Wales, Wales you bloody idiot!" So I apologized...	kiwijims	1	940	01:10 PM Sep 30, 2015 by grahos
	Seenager (Preview) SEENAGER I am a Seenager. (Senior teenager) I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 60 years later. I dont have to go to school or work. I get an allowance (pensions). I have my own pad. I dont have a curfew.I have a drivers license and my own car. I have ID that gets me into bars. The pe...	astroid60	4	1508	08:27 PM Sep 28, 2015 by grahos
	Bill shorten well probably any of our so called leaders really (Preview) METHINKS THIS HAS BEEN ADAPTED TO COVER OUR PAST 4 X LEADERS, HOWEVER, WHY NOT AGAIN ! Bill Shorten walked into a bank to cash a chequeWhen hes called over to the teller, he says, "Good morning, could you please cash this cheque for me?"The teller r...	Woody n Sue	3	1011	08:24 PM Sep 28, 2015 by grahos
	THERE AR TIMES WHEN> (Preview) JC.	justcruisin01	2	1126	08:15 PM Sep 28, 2015 by justcruisin01
	The Barter System (Preview) Yesterday morning I bought two cases of beer on sale at the Beer Store.I placed them on the front seat and headed back home.I stopped at a service station where a drop-dead gorgeous blonde was filling up her car at the next pump.Although it was very cold she was wearing a very short skirt and a light jac...	Yarra	1	1115	05:38 AM Sep 28, 2015 by 03_Troopy
	Free Entry (Preview) There was an Englishman, A Scotsman & an Irishman who all wanted to attend the Olympic Games but had no money for a ticket. The Englishman had an idea & he picked up a long pole he saw lying on the ground, tucked it under his arm & walked up to the gate & said, "Gibson, England, pole v...	kandagal	0	1323	04:16 AM Sep 25, 2015 by kandagal
	What do you do in a 4 horse race ? Tell a joke .. Good ole NZ - Aussie banter .. (Preview) http://www.stuff.co.nz/sport/racing/72356960/new-zealand-racing-commentator-takes-pop-at-wallabies-while-calling-race	Aus-Kiwi	0	917	09:52 PM Sep 24, 2015 by Aus-Kiwi
	A telephone call to the vet. (Preview) A dog lover, whose dog was a female and "in heat, agreed to look after her neighbour's male dog while the neighbour was on vacation. She had a large house and she believed that she could keep the two dogs apart. ... However, as she was drifting off to sleep, she heard awful howling and moaning sounds...	Possum3	0	950	07:46 AM Sep 24, 2015 by Possum3
	What I want in a man (Preview) What I Want In A Man! Original List: 1. Handsome 2. Charming 3. Financially successful 4. A caring listener 5. Witty 6. In good shape 7. Dresses with style 8. Appreciates finer things 9. Full of thoughtful surprises What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 32) 1. Nice looking 2. Opens car d...	spida	1	1086	01:38 AM Sep 24, 2015 by Young Simmo
	The winking problem.... (Preview) A man with a winking problem is applying for a position as a sales representative for a large firm. The interviewer looks over his papers and says, "This is phenomenal, you've graduated from the best schools, your recommendations are wonderful, and your experience is unparalleled. Normal...	Goldfinger	2	909	03:00 PM Sep 23, 2015 by iana
	Sheepish (Preview) -- Edited by rockylizard on Wednesday 23rd of September 2015 11:26:41 AM	rockylizard	0	976	08:17 AM Sep 23, 2015 by rockylizard
	Complete or finished what's the difference (Preview)	Woody n Sue	2	995	12:48 PM Sep 22, 2015 by Woody n Sue
	Tweet of the week (Preview) Winner of Chicago Tribune's best tweet of the week:"I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant but apparently it just changes the colour of the baby."	Yarra	0	1013	11:03 AM Sep 19, 2015 by Yarra
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