Just Joking

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Politically correct seasonal message (its from Great Britain, so a couple of things will seem strange) At this time of the year its difficult to know what to say without offending someone. So Ive checked with my legal adviser and on his advice I wish to say the following to all friends and colleagues...

Cadpete · Cadpete

As the coffin was being lowered into the ground at a Traffic Wardens funeral, a voice from inside screams "I'm not dead, I'm not dead! Let me out!" The vicar smiles , leans forward sucking air through his teeth and mutters. "Too late pal, the paperwork's already done"

reglynn · reglynn

ROSES & HANGING BASKETS A teenage granddaughter comes downstairs for her date with this see-through blouse on and no bra. Her grandmother went mad, Telling her not to dare go out like that! The teenager tells her 'Loosen up Gran. These are modern times. You gotta let your rose buds show...

Quincey · Quincey

My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE... "If you're going kill each other, do it outside - I just finished cleaning!" My mother taught me RELIGION... "You better pray that will come out of the carpet." My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL... "If you don't strai...

Stl · Stl

I woke up with tubes up my nose in my arms, sore all over doctors and nurses everywhere and thought crikey I'm in a bad way. Wife with tears in her eyes lent over and said that from now on I wouldn't be able to feel anything below the waist, I thought about this for a second then asked her could I at least feel he...

D and D · D and D

Gunsondeck · Gunsondeck

A young farm couple, Ben from Red Oak, Texas and his first wife, got married and just couldn't seem to get enough lovin'.In the morning, before Ben left the house for the fields, they made love. When Ben came back from the fields, they made love.And again at bedtime, they made love. The problem wa...

reglynn · reglynn

A young Portsmouth woman was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the sea, but just before she could throw herself from the wharf, a handsome young man stopped her. "You have so much to live for," said the man. "I'm a sailor, and we are off to Australia t...

Lesley F · Lesley F

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bo5RIjT9onU

reglynn · reglynn

1: I prefer breasts to legs. 2: Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist. 3: Smother the butter all over the breasts. 4: If I don't undo my trousers, I'll burst! 5: I've never seen a better spread! 6: I fancy a little dark meat for a change. 7: Are you ready for seconds yet? ...

reglynn · reglynn

There was a group of women gathered at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with your husband. The women were asked, 'How many of you love your husbands?' All the women raised their hands. Then they were asked, 'When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?' Some women answered t...

Russue · Russue

Some of us may have seen this before but it always gives me a good chuckle!HOW TO START A FIGHT One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift... The next year, I didn't buy her a gift. When she asked me why, I replied, "Well, you still haven't use...

yeoeleven · yeoeleven

reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If Ford had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon." In response to Bill's comments,Ford issued a press release stating: If...

reglynn · reglynn

Medical distinction between Guts and Balls.There is a medical distinction between Guts and Balls. We've all heard about people having Guts or Balls.. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, here are the definitions: GUTS - Is arriving home late after...

Baggie · Baggie

Herbie & Harry were good mates having a game of golf when they got stuck behind these two women who were spending most of their time talking & stuffing about rather than play golf. This went on hole after hole. Herbie said to Harry, "Why don't you go up to them & ask if we can play through...

reglynn · reglynn

Towards the end of a round of golf, Dave hit his ball into the woods and found it in a patch of pretty, yellow buttercups. Trying to get his ball back in play, he ended up thrashing just about every buttercup in the patch. All of a sudden? POOF!! In a flash and puff of smoke, a little old woman appeared. S...

JRH · JRH

Why did the Swan Ale? Because the Emu Bitter.

Lesley F · Lesley F

It's a long read - but highly amusing - I wish I thought of it!!! Below is an actual letter sent to a bank. The bank manager thought it amusing enough to have it published in the New York Times. Dear Sir: I am writing to thank you for bouncing my check with which I endeavored to pay my plumber last month. By my...

Felix · Felix

What a world? (country NSW)... On Thursday, 24 January 2002, Derek Guille broadcast this story on his afternoon program on ABC radio. In March, 1999, a man living in Kandos (near Mudgee in NSW) received a bill for his as yet unused gas line stating that he owed $0.00. He ignored it and threw it away. I...

Lesley F · Lesley F

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Politically correct seasonal message.... (Preview) Politically correct seasonal message (its from Great Britain, so a couple of things will seem strange) At this time of the year its difficult to know what to say without offending someone. So Ive checked with my legal adviser and on his advice I wish to say the following to all friends and colleagues...	aussie_paul	0	1252	08:42 PM Dec 21, 2014 by aussie_paul
	Traffic Warden (Preview) As the coffin was being lowered into the ground at a Traffic Wardens funeral, a voice from inside screams "I'm not dead, I'm not dead! Let me out!" The vicar smiles , leans forward sucking air through his teeth and mutters. "Too late pal, the paperwork's already done"	Cadpete	0	701	07:30 PM Dec 21, 2014 by Cadpete
	Roses and Hanging Baskets (Preview) ROSES & HANGING BASKETS A teenage granddaughter comes downstairs for her date with this see-through blouse on and no bra. Her grandmother went mad, Telling her not to dare go out like that! The teenager tells her 'Loosen up Gran. These are modern times. You gotta let your rose buds show...	reglynn	0	881	08:08 AM Dec 21, 2014 by reglynn
	My mother taught me (Preview) My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE... "If you're going kill each other, do it outside - I just finished cleaning!" My mother taught me RELIGION... "You better pray that will come out of the carpet." My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL... "If you don't strai...	Quincey	7	1615	05:07 AM Dec 21, 2014 by Joga
	Positive outlook (Preview) I woke up with tubes up my nose in my arms, sore all over doctors and nurses everywhere and thought crikey I'm in a bad way. Wife with tears in her eyes lent over and said that from now on I wouldn't be able to feel anything below the waist, I thought about this for a second then asked her could I at least feel he...	Stl	0	861	08:29 PM Dec 19, 2014 by Stl
	Historical "Fast Food" (Preview)	D and D	0	963	01:14 AM Dec 19, 2014 by D and D
	Ben Goodwyn and his rifle (Preview) A young farm couple, Ben from Red Oak, Texas and his first wife, got married and just couldn't seem to get enough lovin'.In the morning, before Ben left the house for the fields, they made love. When Ben came back from the fields, they made love.And again at bedtime, they made love. The problem wa...	Gunsondeck	2	1293	01:56 PM Dec 18, 2014 by sarg
	The Portsmouth Woman (Preview) A young Portsmouth woman was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the sea, but just before she could throw herself from the wharf, a handsome young man stopped her. "You have so much to live for," said the man. "I'm a sailor, and we are off to Australia t...	reglynn	0	903	08:30 AM Dec 18, 2014 by reglynn
	adam hills gordon st. with mousey (Preview) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bo5RIjT9onU	Lesley F	1	1079	04:40 AM Dec 16, 2014 by Cowboy7307
	THINGS YOU CAN ONLY SAY AT CHRISTMAS (Preview) 1: I prefer breasts to legs. 2: Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist. 3: Smother the butter all over the breasts. 4: If I don't undo my trousers, I'll burst! 5: I've never seen a better spread! 6: I fancy a little dark meat for a change. 7: Are you ready for seconds yet? ...	reglynn	0	1061	10:19 PM Dec 15, 2014 by reglynn
	When was the last time you told your husband you loved him? (Preview) There was a group of women gathered at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with your husband. The women were asked, 'How many of you love your husbands?' All the women raised their hands. Then they were asked, 'When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?' Some women answered t...	reglynn	0	888	09:52 PM Dec 14, 2014 by reglynn
	How to start a Saturday ....... with a good laugh (Preview) Some of us may have seen this before but it always gives me a good chuckle!HOW TO START A FIGHT One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift... The next year, I didn't buy her a gift. When she asked me why, I replied, "Well, you still haven't use...	Russue	0	1212	03:27 PM Dec 13, 2014 by Russue
	Ford vs Microsoft (Preview) reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If Ford had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon." In response to Bill's comments,Ford issued a press release stating: If...	yeoeleven	0	958	05:52 AM Dec 13, 2014 by yeoeleven
	Just thought you'd like to know.. (Preview) Medical distinction between Guts and Balls.There is a medical distinction between Guts and Balls. We've all heard about people having Guts or Balls.. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, here are the definitions: GUTS - Is arriving home late after...	reglynn	0	915	08:18 AM Dec 12, 2014 by reglynn
	More on golf. (Preview) Herbie & Harry were good mates having a game of golf when they got stuck behind these two women who were spending most of their time talking & stuffing about rather than play golf. This went on hole after hole. Herbie said to Harry, "Why don't you go up to them & ask if we can play through...	Baggie	0	907	05:49 PM Dec 11, 2014 by Baggie
	To start the day (Preview) Towards the end of a round of golf, Dave hit his ball into the woods and found it in a patch of pretty, yellow buttercups. Trying to get his ball back in play, he ended up thrashing just about every buttercup in the patch. All of a sudden? POOF!! In a flash and puff of smoke, a little old woman appeared. S...	reglynn	0	838	12:36 PM Dec 11, 2014 by reglynn
	Beer joke (Preview) Why did the Swan Ale? Because the Emu Bitter.	JRH	8	1177	04:29 PM Dec 7, 2014 by Ontos45
	a letter to the bank manager (Preview) It's a long read - but highly amusing - I wish I thought of it!!! Below is an actual letter sent to a bank. The bank manager thought it amusing enough to have it published in the New York Times. Dear Sir: I am writing to thank you for bouncing my check with which I endeavored to pay my plumber last month. By my...	Lesley F	1	942	03:43 PM Dec 6, 2014 by bill12
	price of stupidity (Preview) What a world? (country NSW)... On Thursday, 24 January 2002, Derek Guille broadcast this story on his afternoon program on ABC radio. In March, 1999, a man living in Kandos (near Mudgee in NSW) received a bill for his as yet unused gas line stating that he owed $0.00. He ignored it and threw it away. I...	Felix	1	1238	12:45 AM Dec 6, 2014 by D and D
	which house? (Preview)	Lesley F	0	1007	07:10 PM Dec 5, 2014 by Lesley F
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