Just Joking

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Have you ever wondered what the difference is between Grandmothers and Grandfathers? Well, here it is: There was this loving grandfather who always made a special effort to spend time with h?? is son's family on weekends. Every Saturday morning he would take his 5-year-old granddaughte...

Lesley F · Lesley F

my dead husband A lesson to be learned from typing the wrong email address!!!! A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter.They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier.Because of hectic schedules, it was dif...

June · June

A group of guys, all aged 40, discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the waitresses there were gorgeous with tight skirts, lean legs, perky breasts and nice butts. Ten years later, aged 50, the friends once again disc...

June · June

A woman loved growing tomatoes but couldn't seem to get her tomatoes to turn red. One day while taking a stroll, she came upon a gentleman neighbour who had the most beautiful garden full of huge red tomatoes. The woman asked the gentleman 'What do you do to get your tomatoes so red?' The gentleman respo...

Yarra · Yarra

Hello, captain. What's the situation?A woman killed her husband. 12 stabs, 2 gunshot wounds, half burnt, and thrown down the stairs.Oh my god, what was the reason?She told us the husband intentionally started walking on the floor which she recently cleaned.Did you arrest her?No. We're waiting fo...

Possum3 · Possum3

One morning recently a young woman got out of bed, slipped into her robe, raised the shade, uncovered the parrot, put on the coffee pot, answered the phone. She heard an masculine voice say; "Hello, honey. My ship just hit port and I'm coming right over." So the young lady took the coffee pot...

Yarra · Yarra

Once upon a time there lived a King. The King had a beautiful daughter, The PRINCESS. But there was a problem. Everything the princess touched would melt. No matter what; Metal, Wood, Stone, Anything she touched would melt. Because of this, men were afraid of her. Nobody would dare marry her. The Kin...

Swoffer · Swoffer

Pommy bloke fronts up to Australia house in london to get a visa to visit family over here . Bloke behind the counter asks "do you have a criminal record ?" Pommy bloke sighs and replies " is that STILL a requirement...... " -- Edited by Swoffer on Tuesday 10th of November 2015 03...

Delta18 · Delta18

An old geezer became very bored in retirement and decided to open a medical clinic. He put a sign up outside that said: "Dr.Geezer's clinic.Get your treatment for $500, if not cured, get back $1,000."Doctor "Young," who was positive that this old geezer didn't know beans abo...

Wombat 280 · Wombat 280

Please complete the forms fully

Delta18 · Delta18

1. Teaching Maths In 1950s A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production Is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit? 2. Teaching Maths In 1970s A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production Is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit? 3. Teac...

Wombat 280 · Wombat 280

Around and around we go

Phillipn · Phillipn

He turned to his wife in bed and whispered, " Did you know it`s National Orgasm Day?" " Oh what a pity," she smiler, " Right in the middle of National Headache Week!!!!!"

Phillipn · Phillipn

This would be an acceptable reason to laugh at a funeral. A very prestigious cardiologist died, and was given a very elaborate funeral by the hospital where he worked for most of his life. A huge heart...... covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service as all the doctors from the hospi...

Wombat 280 · Wombat 280

When I arrived at the van park I'm sure I was the only one plug into that pole

gregroz · gregroz

Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year, and every year Morris would say, 'Esther, I'd really like to ride in that helicopter.'Esther always replied, 'I know Morris, but that helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars' One year Esther and Morris went to t...

Yarra · Yarra

One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift... The next year, I didn't buy her a gift. When she asked me why, I replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!" And that's how the fight started..... My wife and I were watching Who Want...

Possum3 · Possum3

1. Im reading a great book on anti-gravity. I cant put it down. 2. I have a new theory on inertia but it doesnt seem to be gaining momentum. 3. Why cant atheists solve exponential equations? Because they dont believe in higher powers. 4. Schrodingers cat walks into a bar. And doesnt. 5. Do you know the nam...

Yarra · Yarra

"Hello?", "Hi honey. This is Daddy. Is Mummy near the phone?" "No Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul." After a brief pause, Daddy says, "But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Paul." "Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mum...

Young Simmo · Young Simmo

Poem by Willie Nelson The younger generation may not know it but at one time Willie Nelson was songwriter of the year. Such songs as "Hello Wall", "Crazy" sung by Patsy Cline ,"Funny how Time Slips Away" and a host of other favorites. He is also a well recogniz...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Why Grandfathers are different ? (Preview) Have you ever wondered what the difference is between Grandmothers and Grandfathers? Well, here it is: There was this loving grandfather who always made a special effort to spend time with h?? is son's family on weekends. Every Saturday morning he would take his 5-year-old granddaughte...	aussie_paul	0	937	04:36 PM Nov 18, 2015 by aussie_paul
	letter from dead husband (Preview) my dead husband A lesson to be learned from typing the wrong email address!!!! A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter.They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier.Because of hectic schedules, it was dif...	Lesley F	1	963	07:37 AM Nov 18, 2015 by dishlicker
	Arranging Lunch...... (Preview) A group of guys, all aged 40, discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the waitresses there were gorgeous with tight skirts, lean legs, perky breasts and nice butts. Ten years later, aged 50, the friends once again disc...	June	0	1006	12:02 PM Nov 16, 2015 by June
	To the Horticulturists (or not) among you...... (Preview) A woman loved growing tomatoes but couldn't seem to get her tomatoes to turn red. One day while taking a stroll, she came upon a gentleman neighbour who had the most beautiful garden full of huge red tomatoes. The woman asked the gentleman 'What do you do to get your tomatoes so red?' The gentleman respo...	June	0	1004	11:01 AM Nov 16, 2015 by June
	A police officer arrives to a crime scene (Preview) Hello, captain. What's the situation?A woman killed her husband. 12 stabs, 2 gunshot wounds, half burnt, and thrown down the stairs.Oh my god, what was the reason?She told us the husband intentionally started walking on the floor which she recently cleaned.Did you arrest her?No. We're waiting fo...	Yarra	0	849	10:19 AM Nov 16, 2015 by Yarra
	Home from the sea. (Preview) One morning recently a young woman got out of bed, slipped into her robe, raised the shade, uncovered the parrot, put on the coffee pot, answered the phone. She heard an masculine voice say; "Hello, honey. My ship just hit port and I'm coming right over." So the young lady took the coffee pot...	Possum3	0	885	01:21 PM Nov 14, 2015 by Possum3
	Adult Fairy Tale (Preview) Once upon a time there lived a King. The King had a beautiful daughter, The PRINCESS. But there was a problem. Everything the princess touched would melt. No matter what; Metal, Wood, Stone, Anything she touched would melt. Because of this, men were afraid of her. Nobody would dare marry her. The Kin...	Yarra	1	1091	02:49 PM Nov 12, 2015 by ballast2
	The Visa (Preview) Pommy bloke fronts up to Australia house in london to get a visa to visit family over here . Bloke behind the counter asks "do you have a criminal record ?" Pommy bloke sighs and replies " is that STILL a requirement...... " -- Edited by Swoffer on Tuesday 10th of November 2015 03...	Swoffer	1	1123	12:03 AM Nov 11, 2015 by 03_Troopy
	Don't try to outsmart an 'Oldie'! (Preview) An old geezer became very bored in retirement and decided to open a medical clinic. He put a sign up outside that said: "Dr.Geezer's clinic.Get your treatment for $500, if not cured, get back $1,000."Doctor "Young," who was positive that this old geezer didn't know beans abo...	Delta18	0	897	12:49 PM Nov 10, 2015 by Delta18
	Accident Reporting (Preview) Please complete the forms fully	Wombat 280	1	940	06:50 PM Nov 9, 2015 by 03_Troopy
	Teaching Maths (Preview) 1. Teaching Maths In 1950s A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production Is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit? 2. Teaching Maths In 1970s A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production Is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit? 3. Teac...	Delta18	0	1095	06:20 PM Nov 9, 2015 by Delta18
	Wheel of life (Preview) Around and around we go	Wombat 280	0	959	05:13 PM Nov 9, 2015 by Wombat 280
	National Orgasm Day (Preview) He turned to his wife in bed and whispered, " Did you know it`s National Orgasm Day?" " Oh what a pity," she smiler, " Right in the middle of National Headache Week!!!!!"	Phillipn	0	1159	09:42 PM Nov 8, 2015 by Phillipn
	Cardoilogist Funeral (Preview) This would be an acceptable reason to laugh at a funeral. A very prestigious cardiologist died, and was given a very elaborate funeral by the hospital where he worked for most of his life. A huge heart...... covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service as all the doctors from the hospi...	Phillipn	0	945	09:36 PM Nov 8, 2015 by Phillipn
	OLD Van Parks (Preview) When I arrived at the van park I'm sure I was the only one plug into that pole	Wombat 280	0	953	08:04 PM Nov 8, 2015 by Wombat 280
	Morris & Esther (Preview) Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year, and every year Morris would say, 'Esther, I'd really like to ride in that helicopter.'Esther always replied, 'I know Morris, but that helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars' One year Esther and Morris went to t...	gregroz	0	843	07:30 PM Nov 8, 2015 by gregroz
	That's How The Fight Started (Preview) One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift... The next year, I didn't buy her a gift. When she asked me why, I replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!" And that's how the fight started..... My wife and I were watching Who Want...	Yarra	1	1001	07:03 PM Nov 8, 2015 by Felicia
	10 Science Jokes for Nerds (Preview) 1. Im reading a great book on anti-gravity. I cant put it down. 2. I have a new theory on inertia but it doesnt seem to be gaining momentum. 3. Why cant atheists solve exponential equations? Because they dont believe in higher powers. 4. Schrodingers cat walks into a bar. And doesnt. 5. Do you know the nam...	Possum3	4	1062	03:35 PM Nov 8, 2015 by Young Simmo
	Wrong Number (Preview) "Hello?", "Hi honey. This is Daddy. Is Mummy near the phone?" "No Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul." After a brief pause, Daddy says, "But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Paul." "Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mum...	Yarra	0	893	07:28 PM Nov 7, 2015 by Yarra
	History with a smile (Preview) Poem by Willie Nelson The younger generation may not know it but at one time Willie Nelson was songwriter of the year. Such songs as "Hello Wall", "Crazy" sung by Patsy Cline ,"Funny how Time Slips Away" and a host of other favorites. He is also a well recogniz...	Young Simmo	3	1066	06:25 PM Nov 7, 2015 by Blues Man
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