Just Joking

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

LIFE. This is perhaps the most profound observation I have heard in recent times: "Life is like a penis - simple, relaxed and hanging free........ it's women who make it hard". Amen......

Snatchem · Snatchem

As we slowly move through (or into) retirement, we need to keep ourselves occupied with small projects.Like this guy! I know, I saw it right away too.... No safety glasses or hearing protection. And I caught something else that is really important: He has no gloves on...

Possum3 · Possum3

· Pasta was not eaten in Australia. · Curry was a surname. · A takeaway was a mathematical problem. · A pizza was something to do with a leaning tower. · All potato chips were plain; the only choice we had was whether to put the salt on or not. · ...

Lesley F · Lesley F

-- Edited by Lesley F on Wednesday 25th of February 2015 10:27:55 PM -- Edited by Lesley F on Wednesday 25th of February 2015 10:31:34 PM

Possum3 · Possum3

After landing my new job as a Bunnings "Greeter" - a good find for many retirees, I lasted less than a day . . . . . About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, unattractive, mean-acting Bogan babe walked into the store with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the...

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

I was sent to prison, and I said to my cell mate, "I won't be in here long." He replied........ "Well the Judge did give you 6 years". "Yeah I know, but I'm certain my wife will break me out, she's never ever let me finish a bloody sentence before"........ Hoo Roo

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

SMS Received...... Hi Bob, This is Alan next door. I'm sorry neighbour, but I have a confession to make to you. I've been riddled with guilt these past few months and have been trying to pluck up the courage to tell you to your face but I am at least now telling in text as I can't live with myself a moment lon...

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

<Since we are all in a Religious/Marriage mood I'll relate this tale> On their way to Church to get married, a young Christian couple were tragically involved in a fatal car accident. Being good Christians the young couple find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Pet...

Papou · Papou

Three dogs waiting to see Vet in the reception lounge , A little Fox Terrier, a Bull terrier and a Big Rottwheiler. All three sitting there imaptiantly waiting and occasionally looking over at each other without saying a word till it gets too much for them!! , then suddenly the Rottwheiler looksat the...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Through the ages, men have been trying to unlock this mystery: Why do their wives, who accept them just as they are before they get married, begin the quest to change their behaviour and life-style once their vows are exchanged? Finally, the riddle is solved. A social-scientist has arrived at t...

June · June

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a thing. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically 'Relatives of yours?' 'Yep' the wife repl...

Teo · Teo

it is good to see that some areas of Qld. Are getting a little bit of rain. A mate of mine lives in a really dry area. A boy aged 7 had never in his life seen rain. When it did start to rain, he fainted. They had to throw a bucket of dust over him to revive him. Teo. Prado & 16 ft Avan pop top.

June · June

A man said to his wife one day 'I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time'. The wife responded 'allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me. God made me stupid so I would be attracted to YOU'.

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

I was testing children in my Dublin Sunday school class, to see if they understood the concept of getting to heaven. I asked them, If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale, and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into heaven?' 'NO!' the children answered. 'If I cleaned...

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

A man returns from his doctor and tells his wife that the doctor has told him he has only 24 hours to live. Given this awful prognosis the man asks his wife for a bit of rumpy pumpy.... Naturally she agrees and they make gentle love..... About six hours later the husband goes to his wife and says, "Hon...

Brownie2 · Brownie2

Little Johnny went for a stay on Grandma & Grandpa's farm. First morning Johnny went off with his Pop on the tractor for the day with sandwiches and a thermos of tea for lunch. They were out all day and when they got back Grandpa told Johnny to go into the house while he put the tractor away and did som...

June · June

I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the roots and still be afraid of a spider.

petengail · petengail

This short clip may have been around before but I still get a laugh out of it.... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gSw4CLV14sQ

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

...."WHERE is my SUNDAY PAPER?" .......the very irate elderly lady calling the newspaper office, loudly demanded to know where her Sunday edition was... "Madam", said the newspaper employee, "today is Saturday. The Sunday paper is not delivered until tomorrow, on S...

dING · dING

http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/25BHem/www.youtube.com/watch%253Fv%253DDOR9-FXdIm0-- Edited by dING o...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	A very brief yet profound observation......on Life (Preview) LIFE. This is perhaps the most profound observation I have heard in recent times: "Life is like a penis - simple, relaxed and hanging free........ it's women who make it hard". Amen......	Goldfinger	0	940	10:05 PM Mar 3, 2015 by Goldfinger
	First contribution (Preview) As we slowly move through (or into) retirement, we need to keep ourselves occupied with small projects.Like this guy! I know, I saw it right away too.... No safety glasses or hearing protection. And I caught something else that is really important: He has no gloves on...	Snatchem	0	1062	12:36 PM Mar 3, 2015 by Snatchem
	Eating in the 50's (Preview) · Pasta was not eaten in Australia. · Curry was a surname. · A takeaway was a mathematical problem. · A pizza was something to do with a leaning tower. · All potato chips were plain; the only choice we had was whether to put the salt on or not. · ...	Possum3	0	794	09:57 AM Mar 3, 2015 by Possum3
	Bill and Hiliary Clinton kitchen set (Preview) -- Edited by Lesley F on Wednesday 25th of February 2015 10:27:55 PM -- Edited by Lesley F on Wednesday 25th of February 2015 10:31:34 PM	Lesley F	3	1259	09:16 AM Mar 2, 2015 by Long Weekend
	Didn't last at new job (Preview) After landing my new job as a Bunnings "Greeter" - a good find for many retirees, I lasted less than a day . . . . . About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, unattractive, mean-acting Bogan babe walked into the store with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the...	Possum3	0	944	12:05 AM Feb 27, 2015 by Possum3
	Shouldn't be a long sentence..... (Preview) I was sent to prison, and I said to my cell mate, "I won't be in here long." He replied........ "Well the Judge did give you 6 years". "Yeah I know, but I'm certain my wife will break me out, she's never ever let me finish a bloody sentence before"........ Hoo Roo	Goldfinger	0	826	04:03 PM Feb 25, 2015 by Goldfinger
	SMS Spell Check...... (Preview) SMS Received...... Hi Bob, This is Alan next door. I'm sorry neighbour, but I have a confession to make to you. I've been riddled with guilt these past few months and have been trying to pluck up the courage to tell you to your face but I am at least now telling in text as I can't live with myself a moment lon...	Goldfinger	0	1014	11:28 AM Feb 23, 2015 by Goldfinger
	A marriage in Heaven! (Preview) <Since we are all in a Religious/Marriage mood I'll relate this tale> On their way to Church to get married, a young Christian couple were tragically involved in a fatal car accident. Being good Christians the young couple find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Pet...	Goldfinger	1	1081	09:08 PM Feb 22, 2015 by Collo
	Three Dogs At The Vets Reception (Preview) Three dogs waiting to see Vet in the reception lounge , A little Fox Terrier, a Bull terrier and a Big Rottwheiler. All three sitting there imaptiantly waiting and occasionally looking over at each other without saying a word till it gets too much for them!! , then suddenly the Rottwheiler looksat the...	Papou	0	827	12:43 PM Feb 22, 2015 by Papou
	The Aisle, the Altar, the Hymn.... (Preview) Through the ages, men have been trying to unlock this mystery: Why do their wives, who accept them just as they are before they get married, begin the quest to change their behaviour and life-style once their vows are exchanged? Finally, the riddle is solved. A social-scientist has arrived at t...	aussie_paul	0	1020	10:01 PM Feb 19, 2015 by aussie_paul
	Silent Treatment (Preview) A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a thing. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically 'Relatives of yours?' 'Yep' the wife repl...	June	3	884	07:05 PM Feb 19, 2015 by Gunsondeck
	The drought (Preview) it is good to see that some areas of Qld. Are getting a little bit of rain. A mate of mine lives in a really dry area. A boy aged 7 had never in his life seen rain. When it did start to rain, he fainted. They had to throw a bucket of dust over him to revive him. Teo. Prado & 16 ft Avan pop top.	Teo	2	975	09:34 PM Feb 18, 2015 by grahos
	Beautiful and Stupid (Preview) A man said to his wife one day 'I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time'. The wife responded 'allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me. God made me stupid so I would be attracted to YOU'.	June	1	1043	09:32 PM Feb 18, 2015 by grahos
	Story from an Irish Sunday School Teacher (Preview) I was testing children in my Dublin Sunday school class, to see if they understood the concept of getting to heaven. I asked them, If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale, and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into heaven?' 'NO!' the children answered. 'If I cleaned...	aussie_paul	0	859	06:43 PM Feb 17, 2015 by aussie_paul
	...only 24 hours to live..... (Preview) A man returns from his doctor and tells his wife that the doctor has told him he has only 24 hours to live. Given this awful prognosis the man asks his wife for a bit of rumpy pumpy.... Naturally she agrees and they make gentle love..... About six hours later the husband goes to his wife and says, "Hon...	Goldfinger	0	813	02:22 PM Feb 17, 2015 by Goldfinger
	Little Johnny (Preview) Little Johnny went for a stay on Grandma & Grandpa's farm. First morning Johnny went off with his Pop on the tractor for the day with sandwiches and a thermos of tea for lunch. They were out all day and when they got back Grandpa told Johnny to go into the house while he put the tractor away and did som...	Brownie2	0	859	02:12 PM Feb 17, 2015 by Brownie2
	Understanding Women - by a man (Preview) I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the roots and still be afraid of a spider.	June	0	784	01:31 PM Feb 15, 2015 by June
	Where did you hide that?!!!!! (Preview) This short clip may have been around before but I still get a laugh out of it.... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gSw4CLV14sQ	petengail	1	917	01:25 PM Feb 15, 2015 by The Doo crew
	Dedicated to all us Seniors..... (Preview) ...."WHERE is my SUNDAY PAPER?" .......the very irate elderly lady calling the newspaper office, loudly demanded to know where her Sunday edition was... "Madam", said the newspaper employee, "today is Saturday. The Sunday paper is not delivered until tomorrow, on S...	Goldfinger	0	810	11:27 PM Feb 14, 2015 by Goldfinger
	A french TV ad but be aware tis a bit naughty (Preview) http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/25BHem/www.youtube.com/watch%253Fv%253DDOR9-FXdIm0-- Edited by dING o...	dING	1	1241	03:37 PM Feb 14, 2015 by Kaid
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