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A better gun story!
(Preview)
A bloke walks menacingly into a crowded Bar, waving his 1911 Colt .45 calibre pistol with an 8 shot clip and yells: "I want to know NOW who's been screwing my wife??" A voice from the back of the room called out......... "You'll need more ammo!" 'The world will be a better place...
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Goldfinger
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0
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963
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At least one silver lining.......
(Preview)
A group of very Senior, Senior Citizens were sitting around talking about all their ailments at the Senior, Senior Citz Club... "My arms have got so weak I can hardly lift this cup of coffee," said one "Yes I know," said another "My cataracts are so bad, I can't even see my c...
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Goldfinger
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0
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832
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The Perfect Husband...
(Preview)
Several men are in the locker room of their Golf Club. A cellular phone on the bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk. All the other blokes in the room stop to listen. MAN: "Hello" WOMAN: "Hi Honey, it's me. Are you at the Club?" MAN: "...
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Goldfinger
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0
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819
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WoW!..This is what you call an accurate diagnostic computer.....
(Preview)
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike, "My elbow hurts like hell"! "I guess I'd better see a Doctor"... "Listen mate, you don't have to spend that kind of money"..Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer down at Aldi's..." &quo...
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Goldfinger
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1
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822
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Simple explanation
(Preview)
A bloke who had spent the stint working over seas working turned up at his old pub and sighed with a nostalgically to the barmaid . do you know it's been a full seven years since I last had a beer here . She glared back at him and said Look it's my first night here and I am working as fast as I can which reminds m...
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Woody n Sue
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0
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703
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Just a matter of time
(Preview)
A seasoned station hand visited his doctor and said : I don't know what's wrong dock but my stomach keeps turning over and over and I feel really bad . hop on the bed here said the doc and I'll give you a through examination after about 10 minuets the doc sighed and said I can't find anything wrong with you b...
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Woody n Sue
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0
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629
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Positive Attitude
(Preview)
An example of positive attitude..... Late in the night he regained consciousness.... He found himself in agonising pain in the hospital's ICU with tubes up his nose, wires monitoring every function, and a gorgeous nurse hovering over him. Slowly he realized he'd been in a serious accident, with...
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george57
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0
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676
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Bath Night in Scotland.....
(Preview)
<I only recently saw this site and am having a ball posting a few of my favourites I've heard round the camp fire>..trust you enjoy...this is not risque' A Scottish couple took in an 18 year old girl as a lodger. The girl asked if she could take a bath, but the woman of the house told het they don't ha...
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Goldfinger
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0
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1014
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Senior Wedding.......
(Preview)
Ozzie aged 92 and Nola age 89, living on the Gold Coast, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss their wedding plans and on the way pass a substantial Pharmacy...and Ozzie suggests they go in... Ozzie addresses the Pharmacist behind the counter: 'Are you th...
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Goldfinger
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0
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751
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The Irish Job Interview....
(Preview)
Murphy applied for a fork lift operator post at a famous Irish firm based in Dublin. A Norwegian applied for the same job and since both applicants had similar qualifications they were asked to take a test and led to a quiet room with no interruptions by the Manager. When the results were in, both men had...
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Goldfinger
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0
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775
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Irish Medical Dictionary
(Preview)
Irish Medical Dictionary Artery: The study of paintings. Bacteria: Back door to cafeteria. Barium: What you do when patients die. Benign: What you be, after you be eight. Caesarean Section: A neighbourhood in Rome. Catscan: Searching for Kitty. Cauterize: Made eye contact with her. Colic: A shee...
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Redlander
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0
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839
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How to work out the sex of ants (Sorry)
(Preview)
You can tell the sex of an ant by dropping it into a jug of water. If it sinks: girl ant If it floats: boy ant
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Kev-Maz
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1
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704
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Ok sorry about the last one don't know what went wrong but I fixed it here is another
(Preview)
Little 10 year old Freddie goes for a long weekend with his uncle a wealthy farmer ( there's not many of them around ) On the first evening when uncle John and his wife are entertaining guests with ****tails they are interrupted by an out of breath Freddie, who shouts Uncle John come quick the bull is ju...
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Woody n Sue
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0
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627
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Talking to the farm animals
(Preview)
A cowboy said to the New Zealand rancher is that your dog, yup the rancher replied, Mind if I talk to him Darn fool don't you know dogs don't talk. The cowboy replied so what's the harm? Howdy said the cowboy to the dog Hello said the dog the Ranchers eyes popped wide The cowboy continued, is this your m...
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Woody n Sue
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1
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821
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.....A bloke walks into a bar in Christchurch N.Z.......
(Preview)
A bloke walks into a bar in Christchurch, New Zealand and orders a shandy... All the Kiwis sitting around the bar look up, expecting just to see another Aussie visitor... The barman says, "you ain't from around here are ya?" The bloke says "No, I'm a Canuck.....from Canada." Th...
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Goldfinger
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1
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970
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Three beautiful red roses by her hospital pillow........
(Preview)
<This is not as risque' as it may first appear..> A young Lady goes to her Doctor and confides she wants an 'operation' because she feels her vagina lips are toooo large. She respectively asks her Doctor to keep her 'operation' a secret, as she's embarrassed and doesn't want anyone to find out....
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Goldfinger
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0
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763
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Excerpt from Dublin Times..Vanilla Pudding Robbery....
(Preview)
Excerpt from an article which I believe appeared in the Dublin Times about a Bank Robbery on December 2nd.... Subtitled 'THE VANILLA PUDDING ROBBERY'. ....'Once inside the Bank shortly after midnight, their efforts at disabling the security system got underway immediately. The robbers who exp...
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Goldfinger
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0
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751
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The Easy Fix
(Preview)
Medicare Part G -- NursingHome Plan: Picture this. You're a sick senior citizen and the government says there is no Nursing Home care available for you. So, what can you do? Why not use our Medicare Part G -- Nursing Home Plan Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older, a gun (Part G),and four bullets. You...
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Russue
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4
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1077
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Faithfull Ol' Bluey.....a man's best mate....
(Preview)
Recounted to me by an old prospecting mate round the camp fire...... In the arid interior of Australia an old Gold Prospector is staggering along with his faithfull old Blue Heeler "Bluey" by his side...water has given out that morning and no food.......... ..... He looks into th...
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Goldfinger
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0
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731
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The Cat - an oldie but a goodie
(Preview)
A cat died and went to heaven. God met her at the gates and said, You have been a good cat all these years. Anything you want is yours for the asking. The cat thought for a minute and the said, All my life I lived on a farm and slept on hard wooden floors. I would like a real fluffy pillow to sleep on. God said Say n...
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Jenzarl
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0
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659
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