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Humour from the Brits - non P.C.
(Preview)
Humour from the Brits - non P.C. I got invited to a party and was told to dress to kill. Apparently a turban, beard and a backpack wasn't what they had in mind Seven wheelchair athletes have been banned from the Paralympics after they tested positive for WD40. ITS A BOY," I shouted, "A BOY,...
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SLUG
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1
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682
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Little Girl and Pet Shop
(Preview)
A cute little girl goes into a pet shop and says to the shopkeeper; "Pleeth Mithter, I'm wooking for a wittle Fuwwy Wabbit" The shopkeeper smiles and says to the little girl; "We have fuwwy bwown ones, fuwwy bwack ones and wittle fuwwy white ones. Which wabbit would you like" Th...
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Vic41
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0
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760
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Th Weels of Live
(Preview)
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Recoup
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1
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662
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STUDENT WHO OBTAINED 0% ON AN EXAM - I would have given him 100%
(Preview)
Q1. In which battle did Napoleon die? * his last battle Q2. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed? * at the bottom of the page Q3. River Ravi flows in which state? * liquid Q4. What is the main reason for divorce? * marriage Q5. What is the main reason for failure? * exams Q6. What can you never ea...
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D and D
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1
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944
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Centrelink Fairy
(Preview)
Centrelink Fairy A beautiful fairy appeared one day to an asylum seeker claimant outside the Centrelink Offices. 'My good man,' the fairy said, 'I've been told by Tony Abbott to grant you three wishes, since you've just arrived in Australia with your wife and seven children -- all costs to be borne...
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Redlander
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0
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748
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the escapee
(Preview)
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns, and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. He ties the girl to the bed and he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, and then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While h...
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SLUG
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0
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603
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speak the truth
(Preview)
At a wedding party recently, someone yelled, "All the married men, please stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living!" The bartender was crushed to death.
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SLUG
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0
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597
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blondes
(Preview)
Blonde: "What does IDK stand for?" Brunette: "I dont know." Blonde: "OMG, nobody does!"
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SLUG
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0
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588
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kids to day
(Preview)
Teacher: "Kids,what does the chicken give you?" Student: "Meat!" Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?" Student: "Bacon!" Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?" Student: "Homework!"
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SLUG
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0
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533
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9 months
(Preview)
John decided to go skiing with his buddy, Keith. So they loaded up John's minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night. 'I realize it's...
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SLUG
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0
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606
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LIFE IN AN AUSSIE MENTAL HOSPITAL !!!
(Preview)
A nurse walks into a room and sees a patient pretending he's driving a Truck, with his hands at 10 to 2. The nurse asks him, 'Kenny! What are you doing?' Kenny replies, 'Can't Talk right now I'm driving to Melbourne !' The nurse wishes him a good trip and leaves the room. The next day the nurse enters Ke...
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aussie_paul
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5
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4754
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Missing Wife
(Preview)
Distraught husband filed a report on his missing wife. Husband: My wife Misty went shopping two days ago and still has not returned home. Officer: What is her height? Husband: I never noticed. Officer: Slim or healthy? Husband: Not slim, can be healthy. Officer: Color of eyes? Husband: Never notice...
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Gunsondeck
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3
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1107
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Irish man on a train..
(Preview)
Paddy is sitting on a train across from a busty blonde wearing a tiny mini skirt. Despite his efforts, he is unable to stop staring at the top of her thighs. To his delight, he realizes she has gone without underwear. The blonde realizes he is staring and inquires, "Are you looking at my vagina...
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reglynn
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0
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662
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The Elderly Irish Virgin
(Preview)
In a tiny village on the Irish coast lived an old lady, a virgin, and very proud of it. Sensing that her final days were rapidly approaching, and desiring to make sure everything was in proper order when she dies, she went to the town's undertaker (who also happened to be the local postal clerk)to make pr...
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reglynn
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0
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706
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Screams of passion!!!!!!!!! :)
(Preview)
Screams of passionAn Italian, a Frenchman and an Aussie were talking about screams of passion.The Italian said:"Last night I massaged my wife all over her body with the finest extra virgin Olive oil.Then we made passionate love and I made her scream, non-stop for five minutes."The Fren...
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aussie_paul
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0
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600
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Japanese Sex (passed on from another GN).
(Preview)
Japanese couple is having an argument over ways of performing highly erotic sex: Husband: Sukitaki. Wife replies: Kowanini! Husband says angrily: Toka a anji rodi roumi yakoo! Wife on her knees literally begging: Mimi nakoundinda tinkouji! Husband replies angrily: Na miaou kina tim kouji...
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Vic41
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0
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752
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THE EXPLANATION;;
(Preview)
Irish Logic at it's best! THE EXPLANATION, The mother-in-law arrives home from shopping to find her son-in-law Paddy in a steaming rage and hurriedly packing his suitcase. "What happened Paddy ?" she asks anxiously. "What happened!! I'll tell you what happe...
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justcruisin01
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0
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667
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The Gay Ranchhand
(Preview)
A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaperfor a ranch hand. Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk. Sh...
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Hurls
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1
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935
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The Fence Repair
(Preview)
Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence At Government House. One is from Cabramatta, another is from Marrickville, and the third is from Engadine. All three go with an official to examine the fence. The Cabramatta contractor takes out a tape measure And does some measuring, then works s...
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Hurls
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2
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894
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Sunbathing
(Preview)
A widowed lady, still in good shape, was sunbathing on a totally deserted beach at Ft. Myers. She looked up and noticed that a man her age, also in good shape, had walked up, placed his blanket on the sand near hers and began reading a book. Smiling, she attempted to strike up a conversation with him. &qu...
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Hurls
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1
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1060
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