Just Joking

SLUG · SLUG

A man was telling his buddy, "You won't believe what happened last night." My daughter walked into the living room and said to me, "Dad, cancel my allowance immediately, forget my college tuition loan, rent my room out, throw all my clothes out the window, take my TV and my laptop. Ple...

Vanderee · Vanderee

Teacher: children tomorrow I will ask you all what you want to be when you grow up, like a doctor or dentist or detective, think about it seriously. OK Next morning: well children you all must have thought about your profession or job when you grow up, so.....Susan tell us about your decision. Susan: I w...

Vanderee · Vanderee

Cop car chasing a speeding car on the freeway; Cop turns on siren and flashing lights, drives alongside and the car; speeds up to 160 km the cop car on it's tail for 10 minutes, speeds up to 180 km, finally the driver pulls over; the irate cop drags the driver out of the car; " you saw me clearly and you...

Vanderee · Vanderee

Blonde just finishes showering and the door bell rings: She runs up to the door: who is it " ? Reply ; "the blind man" OK; "come on in" Blind man: "wow nicest pair I've seen for years: I am here to measure and quote for new blinds". Police dog: Cop runs into the shop...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Mr. Sharma comes home one night, and his wife throws her arms around his neck: "I have great news: I'm a month overdue. I think we're going to have a baby! The doctor gave me a test today, but until we find out for sure, we can't tell anybody." The next day, Mrs. Sharma receives a telephone...

Possum3 · Possum3

Possum3 · Possum3

jules47 · jules47

Three Irishmen are sitting in the pub window seat, watching the front door of the brothel over the road. The local Methodist pastor appears, and quickly goes inside.... "Would you look at that !" says the first Irishman. "Didn't I always say what a bunch of hypocrites they are ?"...

jules47 · jules47

A strong young man at a construction site was bragging that he could out-do anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of one of the older workmen. After several minutes, the older worker had enough. 'Why don't you put your money where your mouth is,' he said. 'I'll bet a week's wage...

Gunsondeck · Gunsondeck

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improveme...

Vic41 · Vic41

Discerning Police Officer Three footy fans were walking back from the MCG when one noticed a foot sticking out of the bushes by the side of Jolimont Road. They stopped and discovered a nude female unconscious and near death so one of them phoned the police and also requested an ambulance. Out of r...

Vic41 · Vic41

A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie. He decides to test it out at dinner one night. The father asks his son what he did that afternoon. The son says, "I did some schoolwork." The robot slaps the son. The son says, "Ok, Ok. I was at a friend's house watchin...

roadtourer · roadtourer

I seen this today and thought of you Dave

SLUG · SLUG

Ed walks into Victoria 's Secret to purchase a sheer negligee? ? for his wife. He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price -- the more sheer, the higher the price. Naturally, Ed opts for the most sheer item, pays the $500, and takes it home. Ed presents it to his wife and asks her...

KFT · KFT

A woman suggests to her husband that she have surgery to make her breasts bigger. Her husband suggests she rub toilet paper between them as an alternative. How would that make my breasts bigger? she asks. I dont know, he replies. But it sure worked for your backside.

SLUG · SLUG

I've torn out my alarm system & de-registered from the Neighbourhood Watch.I've got two Pakistani flags raised in my front garden, one at each corner and the black flag of ISIS in the centre.The localpolice, ASIO, ASIS and the other intelligence services are all watching my house 24/7. I've nev...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Have a good chuckle. A Traffic Cop stops a Harley for traveling faster than the legal speed limit and he asks the biker his name and licence. "Fred" he replies. "Fred what?" the officer asks. "Just Fred" the man responds. The officer is in a good mood and thinks he mi...

Dunmowin · Dunmowin

SERENITY Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, 'How old was your husband?' '98,' she replied.. 'Two years older than me' 'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented.. She responded, 'Hardly worth going home, is it? Reporters interviewing...

Dunmowin · Dunmowin

Question: How many days in a week? Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday Question: When is a retiree's bedtime? Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch. Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb? Answer: Only one, but it might take all day. Question: What...

reglynn · reglynn

A painter by the name of Murphy, while not a brilliant scholar, was a gifted portrait artist. Over a short number of years, his fame grew and soon people from all over Ireland were coming to the town of Doolin in County Clare, to get him to paint their likenesses. One day, a beautiful young English woman a...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	REVISED WILL (Preview) A man was telling his buddy, "You won't believe what happened last night." My daughter walked into the living room and said to me, "Dad, cancel my allowance immediately, forget my college tuition loan, rent my room out, throw all my clothes out the window, take my TV and my laptop. Ple...	SLUG	0	699	11:47 PM Nov 7, 2014 by SLUG
	OH NO.....NOT LITTLE JOHNNY AGAIN...... (Preview) Teacher: children tomorrow I will ask you all what you want to be when you grow up, like a doctor or dentist or detective, think about it seriously. OK Next morning: well children you all must have thought about your profession or job when you grow up, so.....Susan tell us about your decision. Susan: I w...	Vanderee	0	841	11:23 PM Nov 7, 2014 by Vanderee
	IRATE COP (Preview) Cop car chasing a speeding car on the freeway; Cop turns on siren and flashing lights, drives alongside and the car; speeds up to 160 km the cop car on it's tail for 10 minutes, speeds up to 180 km, finally the driver pulls over; the irate cop drags the driver out of the car; " you saw me clearly and you...	Vanderee	0	654	11:09 PM Nov 7, 2014 by Vanderee
	JUST MISS UNDERSTOOD..... (Preview) Blonde just finishes showering and the door bell rings: She runs up to the door: who is it " ? Reply ; "the blind man" OK; "come on in" Blind man: "wow nicest pair I've seen for years: I am here to measure and quote for new blinds". Police dog: Cop runs into the shop...	Vanderee	0	599	10:50 PM Nov 7, 2014 by Vanderee
	MRS SHARMA IN INDIA.... (Preview) Mr. Sharma comes home one night, and his wife throws her arms around his neck: "I have great news: I'm a month overdue. I think we're going to have a baby! The doctor gave me a test today, but until we find out for sure, we can't tell anybody." The next day, Mrs. Sharma receives a telephone...	aussie_paul	0	834	06:42 PM Nov 7, 2014 by aussie_paul
	How to wash a cat (Preview)	Possum3	0	605	02:22 PM Nov 7, 2014 by Possum3
	Fresh Bait (Preview)	Possum3	0	632	02:12 PM Nov 7, 2014 by Possum3
	Irishmen (Preview) Three Irishmen are sitting in the pub window seat, watching the front door of the brothel over the road. The local Methodist pastor appears, and quickly goes inside.... "Would you look at that !" says the first Irishman. "Didn't I always say what a bunch of hypocrites they are ?"...	jules47	0	684	08:09 AM Nov 7, 2014 by jules47
	Don't mess with old people (Preview) A strong young man at a construction site was bragging that he could out-do anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of one of the older workmen. After several minutes, the older worker had enough. 'Why don't you put your money where your mouth is,' he said. 'I'll bet a week's wage...	jules47	0	701	07:00 AM Nov 7, 2014 by jules47
	Language 101 (Preview) The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improveme...	Gunsondeck	2	962	01:57 PM Nov 6, 2014 by SLUG
	Discerning Policeman (compliments of SD) (Preview) Discerning Police Officer Three footy fans were walking back from the MCG when one noticed a foot sticking out of the bushes by the side of Jolimont Road. They stopped and discovered a nude female unconscious and near death so one of them phoned the police and also requested an ambulance. Out of r...	Vic41	4	949	11:29 PM Nov 5, 2014 by Vic41
	Family....(received from PhillT) (Preview) A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie. He decides to test it out at dinner one night. The father asks his son what he did that afternoon. The son says, "I did some schoolwork." The robot slaps the son. The son says, "Ok, Ok. I was at a friend's house watchin...	Vic41	4	1062	10:27 PM Nov 3, 2014 by Vic41
	Glenelg - this one is for you.. and others who enjoy :-) (Preview) I seen this today and thought of you Dave	roadtourer	1	687	10:30 AM Nov 2, 2014 by Vic41
	ED (Preview) Ed walks into Victoria 's Secret to purchase a sheer negligee? ? for his wife. He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price -- the more sheer, the higher the price. Naturally, Ed opts for the most sheer item, pays the $500, and takes it home. Ed presents it to his wife and asks her...	SLUG	0	770	02:18 PM Oct 31, 2014 by SLUG
	A Woman Suggested..... (Preview) A woman suggests to her husband that she have surgery to make her breasts bigger. Her husband suggests she rub toilet paper between them as an alternative. How would that make my breasts bigger? she asks. I dont know, he replies. But it sure worked for your backside.	KFT	0	834	09:03 PM Oct 30, 2014 by KFT
	never felt safer (Preview) I've torn out my alarm system & de-registered from the Neighbourhood Watch.I've got two Pakistani flags raised in my front garden, one at each corner and the black flag of ISIS in the centre.The localpolice, ASIO, ASIS and the other intelligence services are all watching my house 24/7. I've nev...	SLUG	1	881	01:37 PM Oct 30, 2014 by Kisha
	Ha ha, a good one (Preview) Have a good chuckle. A Traffic Cop stops a Harley for traveling faster than the legal speed limit and he asks the biker his name and licence. "Fred" he replies. "Fred what?" the officer asks. "Just Fred" the man responds. The officer is in a good mood and thinks he mi...	aussie_paul	0	966	05:58 PM Oct 29, 2014 by aussie_paul
	Serenity or Selinity (Preview) SERENITY Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, 'How old was your husband?' '98,' she replied.. 'Two years older than me' 'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented.. She responded, 'Hardly worth going home, is it? Reporters interviewing...	Dunmowin	0	1076	11:15 PM Oct 28, 2014 by Dunmowin
	Retirement (Preview) Question: How many days in a week? Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday Question: When is a retiree's bedtime? Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch. Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb? Answer: Only one, but it might take all day. Question: What...	Dunmowin	0	859	10:28 PM Oct 27, 2014 by Dunmowin
	Irish painter (Preview) A painter by the name of Murphy, while not a brilliant scholar, was a gifted portrait artist. Over a short number of years, his fame grew and soon people from all over Ireland were coming to the town of Doolin in County Clare, to get him to paint their likenesses. One day, a beautiful young English woman a...	reglynn	1	641	10:25 PM Oct 27, 2014 by Dunmowin
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