Just Joking

Smouch · Smouch

Life just gets better as you get older, doesnt it? I was in a coffee shop recently when my stomach started rumbling and I realised that I desperately needed to fart. The place was packed but the music was really loud so, to get relief and reduce embarrassment, I timed my farts to the beat of the music. Aft...

dorian · dorian

I just heard on ABC FM radio news that Australia and other nations are considering "dropping arms and musicians" to besieged Iraqis.

Hoodathunkit · Hoodathunkit

A clearly inebriated woman, stark naked, jumped into a taxi in New York City and laid down on the back seat. The cab driver, an old Jewish gentleman, opened his eyes wide and stared at the woman. He made no attempt to start the cab. The woman glared back at him and said, "What's wrong with you...

Vic41 · Vic41

LIVER & CHEESE Three handsome male dogs are walking down the street when they see a beautiful, enticing, female Poodle. The three male dogs fall all over themselves in an effort to be the one to reach her first, but end up arriving in front of her at the same time. The males are speechless before her b...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A little silver-haired lady calls her neighbor and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started." Her neighbor asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?" The little silver haired lady says, "Ac...

Vic41 · Vic41

While on a road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant, and resumed their trip. When leaving, the elderly woman unknowingly left her glasses on the table, and she didn't miss them until they had been driving for abo...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Aussie humour at its best! A man was riding a bus, minding his own business, when the gorgeous woman next to him started to breastfeed her baby. The baby wouldn't take it, so she said, "Come on sweetie, eat it all up or I'll have to give it to this nice man next to us." Five min...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

New South Wales A senior citizen drove his brand new Holden Senator out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he pushed it to 120 kph, enjoying the power of the car .. Amazing, he thought as he flew down the F3, pushing the pedal even more. Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a highway patrol ca...

Hurls · Hurls

Paddy bought a donkey from a farmer for £100. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day. In the morning he drove up and said, Sorry son, but I have some bad news. The donkeys died. Paddy replied, Well just give me my money back then. The farmer said, Cant do that. Ive already spent it. Paddy sai...

Vic41 · Vic41

The 1st Affair A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day they went to her place and made love all afternoon. Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM. The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt. He then put on his...

dorian · dorian

God Answers Prayers Of Paralyzed Little Boyhttp://www.theonion.com/articles/god-answers-prayers-of-paralyzed-little-boy,475

dorian · dorian

Clinton Deploys Vowels to Bosniahttps://www.ling.upenn.edu/~beatrice/humor/clinton-deploys-vowels.htmlCities of Sjlbvdnzv, Grzny to Be First Recipients Before an emergency joint session of Congress yesterday, President Clinton announced US plans to de...

Vic41 · Vic41

An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?' The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky...

SLUG · SLUG

As a butcher is shooing a dog from his shop, he sees $10 and a note in his mouth, reading: "10 lamb chops, please."Amazed, he takes the money, puts a bag of chops in the dog's mouth, and quickly closes the shop.He follows the dog and watches him wait for a green light, look both ways, and trot acr...

Hurls · Hurls

I knew it, I knew it, I knew it! Finally a study that makes sense. Brains of the elderly slow because they know so much..... Elderly people have so much information in their brain that it takes longer for them to access it, scientific studies show. Older people do not decline mentally with age. It j...

Vic41 · Vic41

Vic41 · Vic41

My Favorite Animal Our teacher asked what my favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken." She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, because everyone else laughed. My parents told me to always tell the truth. I did. Fried chicken is my favorite animal. I told my da...

Vic41 · Vic41

Nice little Ditty, sounds like Ted Egan but I'm not sure; http://www.youtube.com/embed/MZ35SOU9HTM

sarg · sarg

On a train from London to Manchester an Australian was berating the Englishman sitting across from him in the compartment."You English are too stuffy. You set yourselves apart too much. You think your stiff upper lip makes you above the rest of us. Look at me................I'm ME! ..........

sarg · sarg

Bob and Ralph were fishing on the Irish shoreline when Bob pulled out a cigar. Finding he had no matches,he asked Ralph for a light. 'Ya, shure, I tink I haff a lighter,' Ralph replied in his Irish accent and then, reaching into his tackle box, he pulled out a Bic lighter 10 inches long. 'My God, man!' e...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	The Coffee Shop (Preview) Life just gets better as you get older, doesnt it? I was in a coffee shop recently when my stomach started rumbling and I realised that I desperately needed to fart. The place was packed but the music was really loud so, to get relief and reduce embarrassment, I timed my farts to the beat of the music. Aft...	Smouch	2	641	10:09 PM Sep 3, 2014 by Bryan
	Dropping arms and musicians (Preview) I just heard on ABC FM radio news that Australia and other nations are considering "dropping arms and musicians" to besieged Iraqis.	dorian	2	558	06:03 PM Sep 3, 2014 by Collo
	The Businessman (Preview) A clearly inebriated woman, stark naked, jumped into a taxi in New York City and laid down on the back seat. The cab driver, an old Jewish gentleman, opened his eyes wide and stared at the woman. He made no attempt to start the cab. The woman glared back at him and said, "What's wrong with you...	Hoodathunkit	0	680	09:42 AM Sep 3, 2014 by Hoodathunkit
	Liver & Cheese.... (Preview) LIVER & CHEESE Three handsome male dogs are walking down the street when they see a beautiful, enticing, female Poodle. The three male dogs fall all over themselves in an effort to be the one to reach her first, but end up arriving in front of her at the same time. The males are speechless before her b...	Vic41	0	754	01:09 AM Sep 3, 2014 by Vic41
	Best seniors joke ever.... (Preview) A little silver-haired lady calls her neighbor and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started." Her neighbor asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?" The little silver haired lady says, "Ac...	aussie_paul	0	755	04:00 PM Sep 1, 2014 by aussie_paul
	Seniors Road Trip.... (Preview) While on a road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant, and resumed their trip. When leaving, the elderly woman unknowingly left her glasses on the table, and she didn't miss them until they had been driving for abo...	Vic41	0	688	03:26 PM Sep 1, 2014 by Vic41
	Aussie humour at its best! (Preview) *Aussie humour at its best! A man was riding a bus, minding his own business, when the gorgeous woman next to him started to breastfeed her baby. The baby wouldn't take it, so she said, "Come on sweetie, eat it all up or I'll have to give it to this nice man next to us."* Five min...	aussie_paul	0	662	01:51 PM Sep 1, 2014 by aussie_paul
	The various State funny... (Preview) New South Wales A senior citizen drove his brand new Holden Senator out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he pushed it to 120 kph, enjoying the power of the car .. Amazing, he thought as he flew down the F3, pushing the pedal even more. Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a highway patrol ca...	aussie_paul	0	601	01:32 PM Sep 1, 2014 by aussie_paul
	Paddy & the Dead Donkey (Preview) Paddy bought a donkey from a farmer for £100. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day. In the morning he drove up and said, Sorry son, but I have some bad news. The donkeys died. Paddy replied, Well just give me my money back then. The farmer said, Cant do that. Ive already spent it. Paddy sai...	Hurls	1	621	06:53 PM Aug 31, 2014 by Bryan
	Six Affairs.... (Preview) The 1st Affair A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day they went to her place and made love all afternoon. Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM. The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt. He then put on his...	Vic41	0	707	01:57 PM Aug 31, 2014 by Vic41
	God Answers Prayers Of Paralyzed Little Boy (Preview) God Answers Prayers Of Paralyzed Little Boyhttp://www.theonion.com/articles/god-answers-prayers-of-paralyzed-little-boy,475	dorian	0	897	01:47 PM Aug 31, 2014 by dorian
	Clinton Deploys Vowels to Bosnia (Preview) Clinton Deploys Vowels to Bosniahttps://www.ling.upenn.edu/~beatrice/humor/clinton-deploys-vowels.htmlCities of Sjlbvdnzv, Grzny to Be First Recipients Before an emergency joint session of Congress yesterday, President Clinton announced US plans to de...	dorian	0	732	01:43 PM Aug 31, 2014 by dorian
	All Girl Biker Bar... (Preview) An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?' The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky...	Vic41	0	558	02:40 PM Aug 30, 2014 by Vic41
	DOG YARN (Preview) As a butcher is shooing a dog from his shop, he sees $10 and a note in his mouth, reading: "10 lamb chops, please."Amazed, he takes the money, puts a bag of chops in the dog's mouth, and quickly closes the shop.He follows the dog and watches him wait for a green light, look both ways, and trot acr...	SLUG	1	1225	10:08 PM Aug 28, 2014 by Dunmowin
	Makes Sense! (Preview) I knew it, I knew it, I knew it! Finally a study that makes sense. Brains of the elderly slow because they know so much..... Elderly people have so much information in their brain that it takes longer for them to access it, scientific studies show. Older people do not decline mentally with age. It j...	Hurls	0	693	04:50 PM Aug 28, 2014 by Hurls
	Are you having one of those days ??????? (Preview)	Vic41	0	628	08:19 PM Aug 27, 2014 by Vic41
	Boys Favorite Animal... (Preview) My Favorite Animal Our teacher asked what my favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken." She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, because everyone else laughed. My parents told me to always tell the truth. I did. Fried chicken is my favorite animal. I told my da...	Vic41	4	971	08:10 PM Aug 27, 2014 by Vic41
	Scottish Song (Sound On) (Preview) Nice little Ditty, sounds like Ted Egan but I'm not sure; http://www.youtube.com/embed/MZ35SOU9HTM	Vic41	2	1056	12:01 AM Aug 27, 2014 by Vic41
	WONDERFULLY BRITISH! ...... (Preview) On a train from London to Manchester an Australian was berating the Englishman sitting across from him in the compartment."You English are too stuffy. You set yourselves apart too much. You think your stiff upper lip makes you above the rest of us. Look at me................I'm ME! ..........	sarg	1	680	02:27 PM Aug 26, 2014 by Vic41
	The Irish Bic Lighter (Preview) Bob and Ralph were fishing on the Irish shoreline when Bob pulled out a cigar. Finding he had no matches,he asked Ralph for a light. 'Ya, shure, I tink I haff a lighter,' Ralph replied in his Irish accent and then, reaching into his tackle box, he pulled out a Bic lighter 10 inches long. 'My God, man!' e...	sarg	0	763	01:18 PM Aug 25, 2014 by sarg
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