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Mother in law
(Preview)
A mother in law said to her son's wife when the baby was born: "I don't mean to rude, but he doesn't look anything like my son." The daughter in law lifted her skirt and said: "I don't mean to be rude either, but this is a fa*ny, not a photo copier.
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Yendorane
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0
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710
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'I'm Patrick Sean Michael Fitzpatrick, the Irish Fire Fighter!
(Preview)
Paddy, was walking along the street during his once-in-a-lifetime visit to Adelaide South Australia when he rounds a corner and sees there'sa high rise apartment building on fire.Paddy, ever the kind-hearted and resourceful Irishman, runs up to the building to see if he can help, and notices peop...
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aussie_paul
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1
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698
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been there befor
(Preview)
An old Vet. walked into a supermarket with his zipper down.A checkout chick walked up to him and said, "Your barracks door is open."Not a phrase that men normally use, he went on his way looking a bit puzzled.When he was just about done shopping, a man came up and said, "Your fly is open....
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SLUG
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0
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642
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so dose this one
(Preview)
Ralph is driving home one evening, when he suddenly realizes that it's his daughter's birthday and he hasn't bought her a present. He drives to the mall, runs to the toy store, and says to the shop assistant, "How much is that Barbie in the window?" In a condescending manner, she says, "...
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SLUG
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0
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575
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sounds familiar
(Preview)
Wife : Honey before we gotmarried , you used to give me gifts and expensive jewellery. Husband : Yes...so ?Wife : How come you don't do it anymore?Husband : Have you ever seen a fisherman give worms to the fishafter
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SLUG
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0
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538
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another irish one
(Preview)
Mrs. Donovan was walking down O'Connell Street in Dublin when she met up with Father Flaherty. The Father said, 'Top o' the mornin' To ye! Aren't ye Mrs. Donovan and didn't I marry ye and yer' Hoosband couple 'a years ago?' She replied, 'Aye, that ye' did, Father.' The Father asked, 'And be there a ny wee...
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SLUG
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0
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567
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SCOTCH ??
(Preview)
On the first day of school, the children brought gifts for their teacher. The supermarket manager's daughter brought the teacher a basket of assorted fruit. The florist's son brought the teacher a bouquet of flowers. The candy-store owner's daughter gave the teacher a pretty box of candy. Then the...
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sarg
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1
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651
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Itchy Bits...
(Preview)
A female dwarf goes to a doctor complaining of an embarrassing itch in the groin area. > The doctor looks her up and down, picks her up and stands her on his desk. > He lifts up her skirt and puts his head under. A little perplexed, the lady dwarf > hears "snip, snip, snip, snip." > &...
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Vic41
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0
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761
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old times !
(Preview)
A couple had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says, 'Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together.' 'I know,' the old man said. 'We were probably sitting here naked as a jaybird fifty years ago..' 'Well,' G...
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Yendorane
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0
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653
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Forbidden Love....
(Preview)
They were together in the House. Just the two of them. It was a cold, dark, stormy night. The storm had come quickly and each time the thunder boomed he watched her jump. She looked across the room and admired his strong appearance....and wished that he would take her in his arms, comfort her and protec...
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Vic41
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0
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615
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Edinburgh Fringe Festival
(Preview)
The winning jokes from The Edinburgh Fringe Festival....... Ive decided to sell my Hoover well, it was just collecting dust Tim Vine Ive written a joke about a fat badger, but I couldnt fit it into my set Masai Graham. Always leave them wanting more, my uncle used to say to me. Which is why he lost his j...
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rockylizard
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0
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570
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ANOTHER IRISH ONE
(Preview)
Two Irishmen were sitting in a pub watching the Tour de France on TV.Seamus shook his head and asked, "Whoi t'e hell do they do that?" "Do what?" asked Mick. "Go on them boikes for moiles and moiles, up and down t'e hills, round t'e bends. Day After day, week after week. No mat...
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SLUG
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0
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597
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THE WIFES NEW RIDE ON LAWN MOWER
(Preview)
WIFE'S LAWN MOWER FOR SALE > > > > HERES THE STORY. ITS STILL HARD TO BELIEVE THE WAY IT > > TURNED OUT > > > > MY WIFE'S RIDING ON LAWN MOWER IS NOW FOR SALE ! > > > > MY WIFE SAID SHE WANTED A RIDING ON LAWN MOWER. > > > > SHE WORKS ALL DAY AND WAS ALWAYS TI...
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SLUG
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1
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773
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JOKES - ENJOY!
(Preview)
A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses.She started her class by saying, 'Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!'After a few seconds, Little Harold stood up. The teacher said, 'Do you think you're stupid, Harold?''No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by...
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aussie_paul
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3
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752
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An Arab had spent
(Preview)
An Arab had spent many days crossing the desert without finding a source of water. It got so bad that even his camel died of thirst. He crawled through the sands, certain that he was breathing his last breath, when suddenly, he saw a shiny object sticking out of the sand several yards ahead of him He cr...
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aussie_paul
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1
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979
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Testicle Therapy..
(Preview)
Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony. The woman rushed down t...
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aussie_paul
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0
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690
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Seniors Sexting....
(Preview)
An elderly couple had just learned how to send text messages on their mobile phones. The wife was a romantic type and the husband was more of a no-nonsense guy. One afternoon the wife went out to meet a friend for coffee. She decided to send her husband a romantic text message and she wrote: "If you a...
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Vic41
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0
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757
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Things that took me many many years to learn
(Preview)
1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. 2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings." 3. There is a very fine line between &quo...
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Hendo
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2
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591
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Jewish Grandmother
(Preview)
A Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife. "You come to the front door of the apartments. I am in apartment 301. There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow, push button 301. I will buzz you in. Come inside and the elevator is on t...
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rockylizard
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2
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713
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THE IRISH AGAIN
(Preview)
Shortly after a British Airways flight had reached its cruising altitude, the captain announced: "Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain. Welcome to Flight 293, non-stop from London Heathrow to New York . The weather ahead is good, so we should have a smooth uneventful flight. So, sit bac...
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SLUG
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0
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758
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