|
A Drover walks into a Western Qld Bar with his pet crocodile.......
(Preview)
A Drover walks into a Bar in Western Qld with a pet crocodile by his side. He puts the crocodile up on the Bar and turns to the astonished patrons. "I'll make you a deal. I'll open the crocodile's mouth and place my 'manhood' inside...then the croc will close his mouth for one minute. "Then he...
|
Goldfinger
|
1
|
1206
|
|
|
|
|
Carefull with this one ladies
(Preview)
This is my new neighbour... Golf may be out for a few days. She's single... She lives right across the road. I can see her place from my deck. I watched as she got home from work thisevening. I was surprised when she walked across thestreet and up my driveway andknocked on my door. I rushed t...
|
Woody n Sue
|
1
|
1002
|
|
|
|
|
A different funny
(Preview)
Today I was on line researching camping tables for 1 but a bit bigger, I cruised various websites and found this one in Ray's Catalogue:Wild Country Aluminium Natural Table - Black, Slat Features & Benefits70 x 70cmEasy setup and pack upGreat to keep in the car for emergencies I want to know, what...
|
Nomes
|
5
|
2009
|
|
|
|
|
God and Golf
(Preview)
Three guys tee off at the local. Moses, Jesus and an old bloke. Moses is first, sweet strike on the ball and it hooks into the water. Damn he says, gets to the edge, parts the water and chips onto the dance floor. Birdies the par 4 Jesus tees next, same result as moses only the ball floats on the water, Jesus w...
|
Phil C
|
1
|
944
|
|
|
|
|
Seems to be the way of today
(Preview)
|
Woody n Sue
|
1
|
838
|
|
|
|
|
A Little Greek Village
(Preview)
It is a slow day in a little Greek Village. The rain is beating downand the streets are deserted. Times are tough, everybody is in debt and everybody lives on credit.On this particular day a rich German tourist is driving through the village, stops at the local hotel and lays a 100 note on the desk, telli...
|
Yarra
|
0
|
1076
|
|
|
|
|
The Retirement
(Preview)
It was George the Mailmans last day.As he did his final rounds he reached the door of the first house and was greeted by a elderly couple who gave him a gift certificate. At the next house, the entire family gave him a set of fishing lures, and at the third house he received a box of fine cigars.But at the nex...
|
Yarra
|
0
|
910
|
|
|
|
|
Sat nav
(Preview)
Subject: FW: satnav poem
I have a little Satnav, It sits there in my car
A Satnav is a driver's friend, it tells you where you are.
I have a little Satnav, I've had it all my life
It's better than the normal ones, my Satnav is my wife.
It gives me full instructions, especially how to drive
"...
|
Aus-Kiwi
|
0
|
746
|
|
|
|
|
FLAT STOMACH
(Preview)
A little boy walks into his parents' room to see his mom on top of his dad bouncing up and down. The mom sees her son and quickly dismounts, worried about what her son has seen. She dresses quickly and goes to find him.. The son sees his mom and asks, 'What were you and Dad doing?' The mother replies, 'Well, y...
|
Blues Man
|
0
|
933
|
|
|
|
|
Greece..bailout..
(Preview)
Did you know that Germany is printing Euros on Greeceproof paper...
|
sarg
|
2
|
832
|
|
|
|
|
Horror movie
(Preview)
A bloke is watching a film with creepy organ music on the TV and suddenly yells, "No! No! Don't enter that church, you fool." His wife asks him, "What are you watching?" Husband replies, "Our wedding video."
|
leevin
|
2
|
878
|
|
|
|
|
Golfer at the dentist
(Preview)
A man and his wife walked into a dentist's office. The man said to the dentist, "Doc, I'm in one heck of a hurry, I have two buddies sitting out in my car waiting for us to go play golf, so forget about the anesthetic, I don't have time for the gums to get numb. I just want you to pull the tooth, and be done w...
|
Yarra
|
1
|
881
|
|
|
|
|
aplomb
(Preview)
His Lordship was in the study at Downton Abbey when the butler approached and coughed discreetly. * "May I ask you a question, My Lord?" "Go ahead, Carson ," said His Lordship. "I am doing the crossword in The Times and I have found a word I am not too clear on." "Wh...
|
Pete49
|
4
|
905
|
|
|
|
|
cats
(Preview)
SO MANY CATS ? SO FEW RECIPES !!!!!!!
|
rtv47
|
4
|
949
|
|
|
|
|
Cuckoo clock
(Preview)
The other night I was invited out for a night with the 'girls'. I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, 'I promise!' Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily. Around 3 am, a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started u...
|
Yarra
|
1
|
1076
|
|
|
|
|
what kids come up with
(Preview)
A mother and father take their 6-year old son to a nude beach.As the boy walks along the sand, he notices that many of the women have boobs bigger than his mother's, so he goes back to ask her why.She tells her son, 'The bigger they are, the sillier the lady is.'The boy, pleased with the answer, goes to play...
|
SLUG
|
3
|
1051
|
|
|
|
|
some times it pays
(Preview)
An Australian guy is travelling around the Greek Islands . He walks into a bar and, by chance, is served by an Australian barmaid. As she takes his order, a beer, she notices his accent. Over the course of the evening they get chatting. At the end of her shift he asks if she wants to come back to his place. Al...
|
SLUG
|
0
|
857
|
|
|
|
|
EX COMMANDO?
(Preview)
During my physical examination, my doctor asked me about my physical activity level. I described a typical day, "Well, yesterday afternoon, I took a five hour walk about 7 miles through some pretty rough terrain. I waded along the edge of a lake. I pushed my way through brambles. I got...
|
The Doo crew
|
1
|
1267
|
|
|
|
|
Where did I put that pen
(Preview)
|
Woody n Sue
|
0
|
813
|
|
|
|
|
Anyone for quoits
(Preview)
|
Woody n Sue
|
0
|
777
|
|
|
