Just Joking

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

JOKES - ENJOY! Puns for Educated Minds The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.4. A...

Vic41 · Vic41

sucastja · sucastja

-- Edited by sucastja on Tuesday 30th of September 2014 05:19:40 PM

SLUG · SLUG

A woman goes to her boyfriend's parents' house for dinner. This is her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous. They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal. The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains are almost...

Vic41 · Vic41

Who needs a dictionary when you have dads, A small boy has a school home work > question to answer, so He asks his father "Dad, what's the difference > between 'theoretically' and 'realistically'?" > His dad thinks and then says "Right-o son, go and ask your Mother if she'd &...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks? 2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand? 3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know? 4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words? 5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack? 6....

SLUG · SLUG

CURRY CONTEST If you can read this whole story without laughing then there's absolutely no hope for you. Note: Please take time to read this slowly. For those of you who have lived in Natal , you know how typical this is. They actually have a Curry cook-off about June/July. It takes up a major portion of...

The Doo crew · The Doo crew

Arthur and the Witch: Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighbouring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a...

Vic41 · Vic41

One hot summer day, a blonde came to town with her dog, tied it under the shade of a tree, and headed into a restaurant for something cold to drink. Twenty minutes later, a policeman entered the restaurant and asked, 'Who owns the dog tied under that tree outside?' The blonde said it was hers. 'Your dog s...

SLUG · SLUG

So Grandpa? asked Dave at his engagement party ?your marriage to Grandma is legendary everyone talks about how you two get along so well and never fight, what?s the secret to your marital success?? ?Well? said Grandpa Joe after taking a deep puff on his cigar ?it all started on the way home from our wedd...

Wandering Whitfields · Wandering Whitfields

I have just been "told "I am MC at step Grandsons wedding on Sunday so I need a suitable joke for this wedding. Ha Ha it's no joke. Thank you G N s Desperate Daryl

reglynn · reglynn

One December day we found an old straggly cat at our door. She was a sorry sight.Starving, dirty, smelled terrible, skinny, and hair all matted down.. We felt sorry for her so we put her in a carrier and took her to the vet.We didn't know what to call her so we named her 'Pussycat.'The vet decided to keep...

Vic41 · Vic41

A customer complaint to the Irish Railway Company. The following is a customer complaint to the Irish Railway Company. Gentlemen, I have been riding your trains daily for the last two years, and the service on your line seems to be getting worse every day. I am tired of standing in the aisle all the time...

Vic41 · Vic41

Three dead bodies turn up at a mortuary all with very big smiles on their faces and the police call on the coroner to investigate. "First body," says the coroner, "Pierre Dubois, Frenchman, 70, died of heart failure while making love to his 20-year old mistress. Hence the Smil...

dING · dING

UPSETTING NEWS RECEIVED: On average, an Australian man will have sex two to three times a week, whereas a Japanese will have sex only one or two times a year. This is upsetting news to me, as I had no idea I was Japanese!

dING · dING

STOP CHOKING - AUSSIE STYLE A woman sitting in an Adelaide Pub suddenly began to cough. After a few seconds it became apparent that she was in real distress, and two locals, Bluey and Bazza sitting at the next table turned to look at her. Ken ya swaller? asked Bluey The woman signalled 'No!', desperatel...

dING · dING

A very tall man walks into a bar, and a lady recognizes him as basketball player. They start to talk and eventually go back to his place. They start to kiss, and the man takes off his shirt. On his arm, he has a tattoo that says REEBOK in large letters. "What's that for?" the lady questions. &quo...

reglynn · reglynn

A man wakes up one morning to find a bear on his roof. So he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough, there's an ad for "Bear Removers."He calls the number, and the bear remover says he'll be over in 30 minutes. The bear remover arrives, and gets out of his van. He's got a ladder, a baseball bat,...

Gunsondeck · Gunsondeck

A man walked out to the street and caught a taxi just going by. He got into the taxi and the cabbie said, "Perfect timing. You're just like Brian" Passenger: "Who?" Cabbie: "Brian Sullivan. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along whe...

Hurls · Hurls

Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he'd just been run over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut and bruised and he's walking with a limp "What happened to you?" asks Sean, the bartender. " Jamie O'C...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Puns for Educated Minds... (Preview) JOKES - ENJOY! Puns for Educated Minds The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.4. A...	aussie_paul	2	2474	12:43 PM Oct 1, 2014 by Woody n Sue
	Desert Army 2050.....Downunder..... (Preview)	Vic41	0	695	11:55 AM Oct 1, 2014 by Vic41
	Over 60's (Preview) -- Edited by sucastja on Tuesday 30th of September 2014 05:19:40 PM	sucastja	1	736	06:13 PM Sep 30, 2014 by Vic41
	being discreet (Preview) A woman goes to her boyfriend's parents' house for dinner. This is her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous. They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal. The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains are almost...	SLUG	2	724	05:10 PM Sep 29, 2014 by Vic41
	Dad's Dictionary Lesson.... (Preview) Who needs a dictionary when you have dads, A small boy has a school home work > question to answer, so He asks his father "Dad, what's the difference > between 'theoretically' and 'realistically'?" > His dad thinks and then says "Right-o son, go and ask your Mother if she'd &...	Vic41	2	692	12:40 PM Sep 29, 2014 by Vic41
	JOKES - ENJOY! (Preview) 1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks? 2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand? 3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know? 4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words? 5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack? 6....	aussie_paul	1	687	11:40 AM Sep 29, 2014 by aussie_paul
	curry contest (Preview) *CURRY CONTEST* If you can read this whole story without laughing then there's absolutely no hope for you. *Note:* Please take time to read this slowly. For those of you who have lived in Natal , you know how typical this is. They actually have a Curry cook-off about June/July. It takes up a major portion of...	SLUG	2	1247	10:13 AM Sep 29, 2014 by D and D
	Understanding women (Preview) Arthur and the Witch: Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighbouring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a...	The Doo crew	1	749	10:05 PM Sep 28, 2014 by KFT
	Blonde's Dog.... (Preview) One hot summer day, a blonde came to town with her dog, tied it under the shade of a tree, and headed into a restaurant for something cold to drink. Twenty minutes later, a policeman entered the restaurant and asked, 'Who owns the dog tied under that tree outside?' The blonde said it was hers. 'Your dog s...	Vic41	0	608	01:07 PM Sep 28, 2014 by Vic41
	grandpa (Preview) So Grandpa? asked Dave at his engagement party ?your marriage to Grandma is legendary everyone talks about how you two get along so well and never fight, what?s the secret to your marital success?? ?Well? said Grandpa Joe after taking a deep puff on his cigar ?it all started on the way home from our wedd...	SLUG	1	626	08:58 PM Sep 27, 2014 by Woody n Sue
	Can anyone supply me with a suitable Wedding joke,please. (Preview) I have just been "told "I am MC at step Grandsons wedding on Sunday so I need a suitable joke for this wedding. Ha Ha it's no joke. Thank you G N s Desperate Daryl	Wandering Whitfields	3	728	04:41 PM Sep 27, 2014 by Wandering Whitfields
	The dirty cat (Preview) One December day we found an old straggly cat at our door. She was a sorry sight.Starving, dirty, smelled terrible, skinny, and hair all matted down.. We felt sorry for her so we put her in a carrier and took her to the vet.We didn't know what to call her so we named her 'Pussycat.'The vet decided to keep...	reglynn	0	636	07:33 PM Sep 26, 2014 by reglynn
	Irish Railway Customer Complaint (Preview) A customer complaint to the Irish Railway Company. The following is a customer complaint to the Irish Railway Company. Gentlemen, I have been riding your trains daily for the last two years, and the service on your line seems to be getting worse every day. I am tired of standing in the aisle all the time...	Vic41	0	611	01:33 PM Sep 26, 2014 by Vic41
	Smiling Stiffs.... (Preview) Three dead bodies turn up at a mortuary all with very big smiles on their faces and the police call on the coroner to investigate. "First body," says the coroner, "Pierre Dubois, Frenchman, 70, died of heart failure while making love to his 20-year old mistress. Hence the Smil...	Vic41	1	622	08:22 AM Sep 26, 2014 by Bryan
	japanese (Preview) UPSETTING NEWS RECEIVED: On average, an Australian man will have sex two to three times a week, whereas a Japanese will have sex only one or two times a year. This is upsetting news to me, as I had no idea I was Japanese!	dING	0	606	08:15 AM Sep 26, 2014 by dING
	First Aid (Preview) STOP CHOKING - AUSSIE STYLE A woman sitting in an Adelaide Pub suddenly began to cough. After a few seconds it became apparent that she was in real distress, and two locals, Bluey and Bazza sitting at the next table turned to look at her. Ken ya swaller? asked Bluey The woman signalled 'No!', desperatel...	dING	0	651	10:51 AM Sep 25, 2014 by dING
	Sportsman (Preview) A very tall man walks into a bar, and a lady recognizes him as basketball player. They start to talk and eventually go back to his place. They start to kiss, and the man takes off his shirt. On his arm, he has a tattoo that says REEBOK in large letters. "What's that for?" the lady questions. &quo...	dING	0	633	10:49 AM Sep 25, 2014 by dING
	Bear Remover (Preview) A man wakes up one morning to find a bear on his roof. So he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough, there's an ad for "Bear Removers."He calls the number, and the bear remover says he'll be over in 30 minutes. The bear remover arrives, and gets out of his van. He's got a ladder, a baseball bat,...	reglynn	0	714	07:51 AM Sep 25, 2014 by reglynn
	Brian's the man... (Preview) A man walked out to the street and caught a taxi just going by. He got into the taxi and the cabbie said, "Perfect timing. You're just like Brian" Passenger: "Who?" Cabbie: "Brian Sullivan. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along whe...	Gunsondeck	0	757	01:15 AM Sep 25, 2014 by Gunsondeck
	Only the Irish have Jokes like these.......... (Preview) Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he'd just been run over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut and bruised and he's walking with a limp "What happened to you?" asks Sean, the bartender. " Jamie O'C...	Hurls	0	774	11:42 AM Sep 24, 2014 by Hurls
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