Just Joking

Magnarc · Magnarc

A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of beer and a ham sandwich. The barman looks at him and says, "Hang on! You're a duck." "I see your eyes are working," replies the duck. "And you can talk!" Exclaims the barman. "I see your ears are working, too," Says...

Peter1059 · Peter1059

We were dressed and ready to go out for a dinner and theatre evening. We turned on a 'night light', turned the answering machine on, covered our pet parrot and put the cat in the backyard. We phoned the local taxi company and requested a cab.The taxi arrived, and we opened the front door to leave the ho...

Hey Jim · Hey Jim

The Teacher: asked Jimmy, "Why is your cat at school today jimmy." Jimmy replied crying. " Because I heard my Daddy tell my Mommy." . . . . . . 'I am going to eat that P...ssy once Jimmy leaves for school today.'

Yarra · Yarra

Text of a letter from a kid from Eromanga to Mum and Dad. (For Those of you not in the know, Eromanga is a small town, west of Quilpie in the far south west of Queensland ) Dear Mum & Dad,I am well. Hope youse are too. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better than workin' on the farm - tell t...

Weevil · Weevil

A dog lover, whose dog was a female and in heat, agreed to look after her neighbours' male dog while the neighbours were on vacation. She had a large house and believed that she could keep the two dogs apart. However, as she was drifting off to sleep she heard awful howling and moaning sounds, rushed dow...

Weevil · Weevil

Why I Call Him Honey........... An elderly lady was invited to an old friends home for dinner one evening.She was impressed by the way her lady friend preceded every request to her husband with endearing terms such as:Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, etc. The couple had been married almo...

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

An airhead walked into a novelty store. She saw a shiny thermosand asked the clerk what it was. The clerk said, "It's a thermos. Itkeeps cold things cold and hot things hot." The airhead was soimpressed, she bought one. She got home, and could not wait toshow off her new thermos to her co-wor...

Lesley F · Lesley F

Yarra · Yarra

Four men were bragging about how smart their cats were.The first man was an Engineer, The second man was an Accountant, The third man was a Chemist, and The fourth man was a Government Employee.To show off, the Engineer called his cat, "T-square, do your stuff."T-square pranced over t...

Yarra · Yarra

A widowed Jewish lady, still in good shape, was sunbathing on a totally deserted beach at Ft. Myers.She looked up and noticed that a man her age, also in good shape, had walked up, placed his blanket on the sand near hers and began reading a book.Smiling, she attempted to strike up a conversation with hi...

Weevil · Weevil

Ray the Chook... Ray came home one night from a long day at work, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber. He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, 'You died in your sleep, Ray.' Ray was stunned. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back...

Yarra · Yarra

ONLY A GRANDMOTHER WOULD KNOW.... A Cup of Tea made with cold water. One day my Grandma was out, and my Grandpa was in charge of me. I was maybe 2 1/2 years old. Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a gift, and it was one of my favourite toys. Grandpa was in the living room engrossed in the evening new...

Yarra · Yarra

It was entertainment night at the senior citizens' centre. After the community sing along led by Alice at the piano, it was time for the star of the show - Claude the Hypnotist! Claude explained that he was going to put the whole audience into a trance."Yes, each and every one of you and all at the...

Hey Jim · Hey Jim

Yo Momma is so fat, when she got on the scales it read. " I need your weight." "Not your phone Number".

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

At a hotel restaurant, a man sees a most attractive woman sitting alone at the next table. Suddenly, she sneezes, and a glass eye comes flying out of her eye socket. It hurls by the man, and he suddenly snatches it from the air, in a half pike motion, and hands it back to her. "This is soooo embarra...

Hey Jim · Hey Jim

Whats bigger then Gommers pile. Winnies POO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Whats Bigger then Winnies POO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GiLLANS ISLAND. Whats bigger then Gillans Island. Goldfingers 21 GRANDER.

Yarra · Yarra

Two medical students were walking along the streetWhen they saw an old man walking with his legs spreadApart. He was stiff-legged and walking slowly. One student said to his friend: "I'm sure that poor oldMan has Peltry Syndrome. Those people walk just like that." The other student sa...

Hey Jim · Hey Jim

Wecome to the Forum, Micheal Fiztpatrick & Patrick FiztMicheal. Ben Down & Phil McCaverty Enjoy yourselfves.

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

An oldie but worth re-telling..... We have been in many places but we've never been in Kahoots. Apparently you can't go alone. You have to be in Kahoots with someone else. We've also never been in Cognito.......we hear no-one recognizes you there. We have however been in Sane. They don't have an ai...

Possum3 · Possum3

During WW2 the US introduced the Boeing B17 Bomber, a magnificent aeroplane with a crew of 11: Captain, Navigator, Flight engineer, Bombardier, Radio operator, Nose gunner, 2 X Waist gunners, Top turret gunner, Belly gunner, Tail gunner. The story goes that during the last days of the North Afri...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Duck soup (Preview) A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of beer and a ham sandwich. The barman looks at him and says, "Hang on! You're a duck." "I see your eyes are working," replies the duck. "And you can talk!" Exclaims the barman. "I see your ears are working, too," Says...	Magnarc	0	982	01:37 PM Jun 2, 2015 by Magnarc
	Why we shouldn't lie – a great story (Preview) We were dressed and ready to go out for a dinner and theatre evening. We turned on a 'night light', turned the answering machine on, covered our pet parrot and put the cat in the backyard. We phoned the local taxi company and requested a cab.The taxi arrived, and we opened the front door to leave the ho...	Peter1059	0	950	09:26 AM Jun 2, 2015 by Peter1059
	Whats For Breakface (Preview) The Teacher: asked Jimmy, "Why is your cat at school today jimmy." Jimmy replied crying. " Because I heard my Daddy tell my Mommy." . . . . . . 'I am going to eat that P...ssy once Jimmy leaves for school today.'	Hey Jim	2	858	04:39 PM Jun 1, 2015 by helnev
	Life in the Australian Army (Preview) Text of a letter from a kid from Eromanga to Mum and Dad. (For Those of you not in the know, Eromanga is a small town, west of Quilpie in the far south west of Queensland ) Dear Mum & Dad,I am well. Hope youse are too. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better than workin' on the farm - tell t...	Yarra	3	1110	03:34 PM Jun 1, 2015 by Ontos45
	Dog Carer... (Preview) A dog lover, whose dog was a female and in heat, agreed to look after her neighbours' male dog while the neighbours were on vacation. She had a large house and believed that she could keep the two dogs apart. However, as she was drifting off to sleep she heard awful howling and moaning sounds, rushed dow...	Weevil	0	775	03:30 PM Jun 1, 2015 by Weevil
	Why I Call Him Honey.... (Preview) Why I Call Him Honey........... An elderly lady was invited to an old friends home for dinner one evening.She was impressed by the way her lady friend preceded every request to her husband with endearing terms such as:Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, etc. The couple had been married almo...	Weevil	0	958	08:04 AM Jun 1, 2015 by Weevil
	How to use a thermos or perhaps not (Preview) An airhead walked into a novelty store. She saw a shiny thermosand asked the clerk what it was. The clerk said, "It's a thermos. Itkeeps cold things cold and hot things hot." The airhead was soimpressed, she bought one. She got home, and could not wait toshow off her new thermos to her co-wor...	Woody n Sue	0	764	08:02 AM Jun 1, 2015 by Woody n Sue
	why did the chicken cross the road!! (Preview)	Lesley F	0	850	03:56 PM May 31, 2015 by Lesley F
	The Four Cats (Preview) Four men were bragging about how smart their cats were.The first man was an Engineer, The second man was an Accountant, The third man was a Chemist, and The fourth man was a Government Employee.To show off, the Engineer called his cat, "T-square, do your stuff."T-square pranced over t...	Yarra	0	755	09:59 AM May 31, 2015 by Yarra
	Beach Conversation (Preview) A widowed Jewish lady, still in good shape, was sunbathing on a totally deserted beach at Ft. Myers.She looked up and noticed that a man her age, also in good shape, had walked up, placed his blanket on the sand near hers and began reading a book.Smiling, she attempted to strike up a conversation with hi...	Yarra	0	783	09:56 AM May 31, 2015 by Yarra
	Ray The Chook.... (Preview) Ray the Chook... Ray came home one night from a long day at work, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber. He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, 'You died in your sleep, Ray.' Ray was stunned. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back...	Weevil	2	974	05:38 PM May 30, 2015 by Weevil
	Grandad (Preview) ONLY A GRANDMOTHER WOULD KNOW.... A Cup of Tea made with cold water. One day my Grandma was out, and my Grandpa was in charge of me. I was maybe 2 1/2 years old. Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a gift, and it was one of my favourite toys. Grandpa was in the living room engrossed in the evening new...	Yarra	0	840	01:45 PM May 30, 2015 by Yarra
	Claude the Hypnotist! (Preview) It was entertainment night at the senior citizens' centre. After the community sing along led by Alice at the piano, it was time for the star of the show - Claude the Hypnotist! Claude explained that he was going to put the whole audience into a trance."Yes, each and every one of you and all at the...	Yarra	0	849	09:11 AM May 28, 2015 by Yarra
	Dial Up : Please not for the ladies Thankyou. (Preview) Yo Momma is so fat, when she got on the scales it read. " I need your weight." "Not your phone Number".	Hey Jim	0	868	08:52 AM May 27, 2015 by Hey Jim
	Almost made a spectacle of herself..... (Preview) At a hotel restaurant, a man sees a most attractive woman sitting alone at the next table. Suddenly, she sneezes, and a glass eye comes flying out of her eye socket. It hurls by the man, and he suddenly snatches it from the air, in a half pike motion, and hands it back to her. "This is soooo embarra...	Goldfinger	1	970	08:28 AM May 27, 2015 by Hey Jim
	GOLDFINGERS FIND (Preview) Whats bigger then Gommers pile. Winnies POO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Whats Bigger then Winnies POO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GiLLANS ISLAND. Whats bigger then Gillans Island. Goldfingers 21 GRANDER.	Hey Jim	2	849	08:04 PM May 26, 2015 by Hey Jim
	It's hell to get old. (Preview) Two medical students were walking along the streetWhen they saw an old man walking with his legs spreadApart. He was stiff-legged and walking slowly. One student said to his friend: "I'm sure that poor oldMan has Peltry Syndrome. Those people walk just like that." The other student sa...	Yarra	1	1122	04:13 PM May 26, 2015 by Baggie
	Wecome to the Forum (Preview) Wecome to the Forum, Micheal Fiztpatrick & Patrick FiztMicheal. Ben Down & Phil McCaverty Enjoy yourselfves.	Hey Jim	1	766	07:30 PM May 25, 2015 by Cowboy7307
	Places you may have visited... (Preview) An oldie but worth re-telling..... We have been in many places but we've never been in Kahoots. Apparently you can't go alone. You have to be in Kahoots with someone else. We've also never been in Cognito.......we hear no-one recognizes you there. We have however been in Sane. They don't have an ai...	Goldfinger	1	915	06:42 PM May 25, 2015 by Hey Jim
	B17 bomber crew (Preview) During WW2 the US introduced the Boeing B17 Bomber, a magnificent aeroplane with a crew of 11: Captain, Navigator, Flight engineer, Bombardier, Radio operator, Nose gunner, 2 X Waist gunners, Top turret gunner, Belly gunner, Tail gunner. The story goes that during the last days of the North Afri...	Possum3	1	939	09:13 AM May 25, 2015 by Gaz n Shell
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