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Need a Push
(Preview)
A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push. "Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3:00 in the morning!" He slams the door and returns to...
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Hoodathunkit
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1
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1117
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THE PASSING OF GABRIEL
(Preview)
Peal take's Gabriel to the Vet. The vet nurse greats Peal at the desk. looking very upset she ask's Peal what's up. Its Gabriel, she looks off. Bring Gabriel straight through, the vet will see Gabriel right away. Hullo Peal, What's Up. Its Gabriel, she off. The vet takes a look. The vet replies your not w...
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Hey Jim
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1
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907
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Just promise me one thing
(Preview)
When old Charlie aged 84 saw the love of his life just 24 years young. He asked her to marry him. And she could have anything she ever wanted, with only one condition. When I die you must bury me with all my money. That's a good deal she said ,I live the life style never imagable. So they liveded happlly ever a...
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Hey Jim
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1
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1050
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Whispering Jack
(Preview)
Young Jack was coming of age. So his mother took young Jack to the Catholic Church on Sunday, for the very first time. The Priest was giving the usual sermin and he rambled on and on. Young Jack sits up and without notice says to his mum, "I gotta WEE, Yes I need to take a leak right now." So...
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Hey Jim
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1
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1035
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Clancy@theoverflow
(Preview)
I think that this has been round for a while .. But here it is again just in case you missed it last time it circulated ... enjoy Clancy@theoverflow I had written him a text Which I'd sent, hoping the next Time he came in mobile coverage He'd have time to say hello. But I'd heard he'd lost his iPhone...
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Cupie
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3
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1301
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Priorities.....
(Preview)
At dawn the telephone rings and wakes the vacationing English Lord Gillingham. The caller-ID identifies the source of the call as his loyal butler, Callen. "I'm frightfully sorry to bother you M'Lard but there is a problem. Your prize parrot is now deceased". "The one that won the...
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Goldfinger
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0
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848
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???...
(closed)
(Preview)
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Gunsondeck
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6
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1751
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A FABLE FOR SECRETARYS
(Preview)
When the body was first made, all parts wanted to be Boss. The Brain said. " Since I control everything and do all the thinking, I should be Boss. The Feet said, "since I carry man where he wants to go, and get him in position to do what the brain wants, I should be Boss". The hand said, &quo...
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Hey Jim
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0
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854
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The New Sandals....
(Preview)
A married couple were on holiday in Jamaica. They were touring around the market-place looking at the vast array of goods on offer, and they passed a small sandal shop. From inside they heard the shopkeeper with a strong Jamaican accent say, "You foreigners, do come in please"? "Com...
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Goldfinger
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0
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745
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Wine
(Preview)
A glass of wine To my friends who enjoy a glass of wine and to those who don't and are always seen with a bottle of water in their hand: As Ben Franklin said: In wine there is wisdom, In beer there is freedom, In water there is bacteria. In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonst...
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Ontos45
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1
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1050
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Ashes
(Preview)
Cremated Husband Martha recently lost her husband. She had him cremated and brought his ashes home. Picking up the urn that he was in, she poured him out on the patio table. Then, while tracing her fingers in the ashes, she started talking to him.... You know that dishwasher you promised me, but ne...
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Ontos45
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0
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920
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WARNING
(Preview)
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Hey Jim
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0
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896
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THE BIRDS & THE BEES
(Preview)
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Hey Jim
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0
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1036
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GETTING OLDER
(Preview)
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Hey Jim
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0
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818
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..and if you laugh at this you are not a nice person..I did...and I'm not......
(Preview)
I was in a pub in far Western Queensland last Saturday night, When this brutally ugly girl, built like a young heifer, came up to me, gave me a sly look, squeezed my arse and said, "Give me your number, sexy." I replied, "Have you got a pen?" She winked, smiled and giggled... &qu...
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Goldfinger
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3
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1038
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Funny mishearing
(Preview)
Talking about our long service leave coming up, I said to my wife "Before we head west, I think I'II get new back tyres" My wife looked at me with a confused/shocked look on her face and said "You want to get me baptised??"
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Collo
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0
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943
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CHristian Revival Crusade Notice
(Preview)
Minister, The Rev. Hey Not M.A. B.D. Perhaps you have heard of me and my international campaign in the cause of temperanmer. Each year for the past fourteen years I have made a tour of Australia and New Zealand delivering a series of lectures on the evils of drinking. On those tours I have been accompa...
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Hey Jim
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0
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1316
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A Private letter from an Irish Mother
(Preview)
Dear Son, Just a few lines to let you know I'm still alive. I'm writing this letter slowly because I know you can't read fast. You won't know the house when you get home - we have moved. About your father- he has a lovely new job. He has 500 men under him - he cuts grass at the cemetery. There was a washing mach...
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Hey Jim
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0
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799
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Ahhh, the sweet days of our youth!!...a tad P/Incorrect.
(Preview)
I remember the time, when I was considerably younger.......... I picked up a lovely date at her parent's home, having scraped up just enough money to take her to a fancy Restaurant. She ordered the most expensive items on the menu: Prawn ****ktail, Lobster Patron, and champagne. I asked her, "D...
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Goldfinger
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1
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1021
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the farmer
(Preview)
An old station hand named Billy was overseeing his herd in a remote pasture in the outback when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust. The driver, a young man in a Brioni? suit, Gucci? shoes, RayBan? sunglasses and YSL? tie, leaned out the window and asked the old man, "...
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dING
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2
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1171
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