Just Joking

sarg · sarg

On a train from London to Manchester an Australian was berating the Englishman sitting across from him in the compartment."You English are too stuffy. You set yourselves apart too much. You think your stiff upper lip makes you above the rest of us. Look at me................I'm ME! ..........

sarg · sarg

Bob and Ralph were fishing on the Irish shoreline when Bob pulled out a cigar. Finding he had no matches,he asked Ralph for a light. 'Ya, shure, I tink I haff a lighter,' Ralph replied in his Irish accent and then, reaching into his tackle box, he pulled out a Bic lighter 10 inches long. 'My God, man!' e...

Yendorane · Yendorane

A mother in law said to her son's wife when the baby was born: "I don't mean to rude, but he doesn't look anything like my son." The daughter in law lifted her skirt and said: "I don't mean to be rude either, but this is a fa*ny, not a photo copier.

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Paddy, was walking along the street during his once-in-a-lifetime visit to Adelaide South Australia when he rounds a corner and sees there'sa high rise apartment building on fire.Paddy, ever the kind-hearted and resourceful Irishman, runs up to the building to see if he can help, and notices peop...

SLUG · SLUG

An old Vet. walked into a supermarket with his zipper down.A checkout chick walked up to him and said, "Your barracks door is open."Not a phrase that men normally use, he went on his way looking a bit puzzled.When he was just about done shopping, a man came up and said, "Your fly is open....

SLUG · SLUG

Ralph is driving home one evening, when he suddenly realizes that it's his daughter's birthday and he hasn't bought her a present. He drives to the mall, runs to the toy store, and says to the shop assistant, "How much is that Barbie in the window?" In a condescending manner, she says, "...

SLUG · SLUG

Wife : Honey before we gotmarried , you used to give me gifts and expensive jewellery. Husband : Yes...so ?Wife : How come you don't do it anymore?Husband : Have you ever seen a fisherman give worms to the fishafter

SLUG · SLUG

Mrs. Donovan was walking down O'Connell Street in Dublin when she met up with Father Flaherty. The Father said, 'Top o' the mornin' To ye! Aren't ye Mrs. Donovan and didn't I marry ye and yer' Hoosband couple 'a years ago?' She replied, 'Aye, that ye' did, Father.' The Father asked, 'And be there a ny wee...

sarg · sarg

On the first day of school, the children brought gifts for their teacher. The supermarket manager's daughter brought the teacher a basket of assorted fruit. The florist's son brought the teacher a bouquet of flowers. The candy-store owner's daughter gave the teacher a pretty box of candy. Then the...

Vic41 · Vic41

A female dwarf goes to a doctor complaining of an embarrassing itch in the groin area. > The doctor looks her up and down, picks her up and stands her on his desk. > He lifts up her skirt and puts his head under. A little perplexed, the lady dwarf > hears "snip, snip, snip, snip." > &...

Yendorane · Yendorane

A couple had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says, 'Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together.' 'I know,' the old man said. 'We were probably sitting here naked as a jaybird fifty years ago..' 'Well,' G...

Vic41 · Vic41

They were together in the House. Just the two of them. It was a cold, dark, stormy night. The storm had come quickly and each time the thunder boomed he watched her jump. She looked across the room and admired his strong appearance....and wished that he would take her in his arms, comfort her and protec...

rockylizard · rockylizard

The winning jokes from The Edinburgh Fringe Festival....... Ive decided to sell my Hoover well, it was just collecting dust Tim Vine Ive written a joke about a fat badger, but I couldnt fit it into my set Masai Graham. Always leave them wanting more, my uncle used to say to me. Which is why he lost his j...

SLUG · SLUG

Two Irishmen were sitting in a pub watching the Tour de France on TV.Seamus shook his head and asked, "Whoi t'e hell do they do that?" "Do what?" asked Mick. "Go on them boikes for moiles and moiles, up and down t'e hills, round t'e bends. Day After day, week after week. No mat...

SLUG · SLUG

WIFE'S LAWN MOWER FOR SALE > > > > HERES THE STORY. ITS STILL HARD TO BELIEVE THE WAY IT > > TURNED OUT > > > > MY WIFE'S RIDING ON LAWN MOWER IS NOW FOR SALE ! > > > > MY WIFE SAID SHE WANTED A RIDING ON LAWN MOWER. > > > > SHE WORKS ALL DAY AND WAS ALWAYS TI...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses.She started her class by saying, 'Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!'After a few seconds, Little Harold stood up. The teacher said, 'Do you think you're stupid, Harold?''No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

An Arab had spent many days crossing the desert without finding a source of water. It got so bad that even his camel died of thirst. He crawled through the sands, certain that he was breathing his last breath, when suddenly, he saw a shiny object sticking out of the sand several yards ahead of him He cr...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony. The woman rushed down t...

Vic41 · Vic41

An elderly couple had just learned how to send text messages on their mobile phones. The wife was a romantic type and the husband was more of a no-nonsense guy. One afternoon the wife went out to meet a friend for coffee. She decided to send her husband a romantic text message and she wrote: "If you a...

Hendo · Hendo

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. 2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings." 3. There is a very fine line between &quo...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	WONDERFULLY BRITISH! ...... (Preview) On a train from London to Manchester an Australian was berating the Englishman sitting across from him in the compartment."You English are too stuffy. You set yourselves apart too much. You think your stiff upper lip makes you above the rest of us. Look at me................I'm ME! ..........	sarg	1	695	02:27 PM Aug 26, 2014 by Vic41
	The Irish Bic Lighter (Preview) Bob and Ralph were fishing on the Irish shoreline when Bob pulled out a cigar. Finding he had no matches,he asked Ralph for a light. 'Ya, shure, I tink I haff a lighter,' Ralph replied in his Irish accent and then, reaching into his tackle box, he pulled out a Bic lighter 10 inches long. 'My God, man!' e...	sarg	0	778	01:18 PM Aug 25, 2014 by sarg
	Mother in law (Preview) A mother in law said to her son's wife when the baby was born: "I don't mean to rude, but he doesn't look anything like my son." The daughter in law lifted her skirt and said: "I don't mean to be rude either, but this is a fa*ny, not a photo copier.	Yendorane	0	727	08:04 AM Aug 25, 2014 by Yendorane
	'I'm Patrick Sean Michael Fitzpatrick, the Irish Fire Fighter! (Preview) Paddy, was walking along the street during his once-in-a-lifetime visit to Adelaide South Australia when he rounds a corner and sees there'sa high rise apartment building on fire.Paddy, ever the kind-hearted and resourceful Irishman, runs up to the building to see if he can help, and notices peop...	aussie_paul	1	712	07:34 AM Aug 25, 2014 by Yendorane
	been there befor (Preview) An old Vet. walked into a supermarket with his zipper down.A checkout chick walked up to him and said, "Your barracks door is open."Not a phrase that men normally use, he went on his way looking a bit puzzled.When he was just about done shopping, a man came up and said, "Your fly is open....	SLUG	0	663	11:32 PM Aug 24, 2014 by SLUG
	so dose this one (Preview) Ralph is driving home one evening, when he suddenly realizes that it's his daughter's birthday and he hasn't bought her a present. He drives to the mall, runs to the toy store, and says to the shop assistant, "How much is that Barbie in the window?" In a condescending manner, she says, "...	SLUG	0	594	10:07 PM Aug 24, 2014 by SLUG
	sounds familiar (Preview) Wife : Honey before we gotmarried , you used to give me gifts and expensive jewellery. Husband : Yes...so ?Wife : How come you don't do it anymore?Husband : Have you ever seen a fisherman give worms to the fishafter	SLUG	0	553	10:06 PM Aug 24, 2014 by SLUG
	another irish one (Preview) Mrs. Donovan was walking down O'Connell Street in Dublin when she met up with Father Flaherty. The Father said, 'Top o' the mornin' To ye! Aren't ye Mrs. Donovan and didn't I marry ye and yer' Hoosband couple 'a years ago?' She replied, 'Aye, that ye' did, Father.' The Father asked, 'And be there a ny wee...	SLUG	0	585	10:04 PM Aug 24, 2014 by SLUG
	SCOTCH ?? (Preview) On the first day of school, the children brought gifts for their teacher. The supermarket manager's daughter brought the teacher a basket of assorted fruit. The florist's son brought the teacher a bouquet of flowers. The candy-store owner's daughter gave the teacher a pretty box of candy. Then the...	sarg	1	670	08:11 PM Aug 24, 2014 by pugs
	Itchy Bits... (Preview) A female dwarf goes to a doctor complaining of an embarrassing itch in the groin area. > The doctor looks her up and down, picks her up and stands her on his desk. > He lifts up her skirt and puts his head under. A little perplexed, the lady dwarf > hears "snip, snip, snip, snip." > &...	Vic41	0	783	01:09 PM Aug 22, 2014 by Vic41
	old times ! (Preview) A couple had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says, 'Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together.' 'I know,' the old man said. 'We were probably sitting here naked as a jaybird fifty years ago..' 'Well,' G...	Yendorane	0	676	09:35 AM Aug 22, 2014 by Yendorane
	Forbidden Love.... (Preview) They were together in the House. Just the two of them. It was a cold, dark, stormy night. The storm had come quickly and each time the thunder boomed he watched her jump. She looked across the room and admired his strong appearance....and wished that he would take her in his arms, comfort her and protec...	Vic41	0	632	09:59 PM Aug 21, 2014 by Vic41
	Edinburgh Fringe Festival (Preview) The winning jokes from The Edinburgh Fringe Festival....... Ive decided to sell my Hoover well, it was just collecting dust Tim Vine Ive written a joke about a fat badger, but I couldnt fit it into my set Masai Graham. Always leave them wanting more, my uncle used to say to me. Which is why he lost his j...	rockylizard	0	582	08:14 PM Aug 21, 2014 by rockylizard
	ANOTHER IRISH ONE (Preview) Two Irishmen were sitting in a pub watching the Tour de France on TV.Seamus shook his head and asked, "Whoi t'e hell do they do that?" "Do what?" asked Mick. "Go on them boikes for moiles and moiles, up and down t'e hills, round t'e bends. Day After day, week after week. No mat...	SLUG	0	613	10:02 PM Aug 20, 2014 by SLUG
	THE WIFES NEW RIDE ON LAWN MOWER (Preview) WIFE'S LAWN MOWER FOR SALE > > > > HERES THE STORY. ITS STILL HARD TO BELIEVE THE WAY IT > > TURNED OUT > > > > MY WIFE'S RIDING ON LAWN MOWER IS NOW FOR SALE ! > > > > MY WIFE SAID SHE WANTED A RIDING ON LAWN MOWER. > > > > SHE WORKS ALL DAY AND WAS ALWAYS TI...	SLUG	1	784	08:40 PM Aug 20, 2014 by rockylizard
	JOKES - ENJOY! (Preview) A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses.She started her class by saying, 'Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!'After a few seconds, Little Harold stood up. The teacher said, 'Do you think you're stupid, Harold?''No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by...	aussie_paul	3	767	11:13 PM Aug 18, 2014 by SLUG
	An Arab had spent (Preview) An Arab had spent many days crossing the desert without finding a source of water. It got so bad that even his camel died of thirst. He crawled through the sands, certain that he was breathing his last breath, when suddenly, he saw a shiny object sticking out of the sand several yards ahead of him He cr...	aussie_paul	1	991	09:32 PM Aug 18, 2014 by SLUG
	Testicle Therapy.. (Preview) Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony. The woman rushed down t...	aussie_paul	0	708	05:27 PM Aug 18, 2014 by aussie_paul
	Seniors Sexting.... (Preview) An elderly couple had just learned how to send text messages on their mobile phones. The wife was a romantic type and the husband was more of a no-nonsense guy. One afternoon the wife went out to meet a friend for coffee. She decided to send her husband a romantic text message and she wrote: "If you a...	Vic41	0	771	04:20 PM Aug 18, 2014 by Vic41
	Things that took me many many years to learn (Preview) 1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. 2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings." 3. There is a very fine line between &quo...	Hendo	2	604	06:31 PM Aug 17, 2014 by Baz421
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