Just Joking

Cupie · Cupie

BLAME How the world works lately... If a man cuts his finger off while Slicing salami at work, He blames the restaurant. If you smoke three packs a day For 40 years and die of lung cancer, Your family blames the Tobacco company. If yo...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

The teacher asked the class to use the word fascinate in a sentence. Molly put up her hand and said, My family went to my granddads farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating. The teacher said, That was good, but I wanted you to use the word fascinate, not fascinating. Sally raised her ha...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

Getting a Hairdryer Through Customs. An attractive young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the Priest beside her, 'Father, may I ask a favor?' 'Of course child. What may I do for you?' 'Well, I bought my mother an expensive hair dryer for her birthday. It is unopened but well over the...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

Italian, a Frenchman and an Aussie were talking about screams of passion. The Italian said: "Last night I massaged my wife all over her body with the finest extra virgin olive oil, then we made passionate love and I made her scream, non-stop for five minutes." The Frenchman said: "...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

An Irishman was walking home late at night and sees a woman in the dark shadows.'Thirty quid,' she whispers. Murphy had never been with a hooker before, but Decides what the hell, it's only thirty quid. So they hid in the bushes.They're wildly and passionately entwined for a minute when all of a sudden...

SLUG · SLUG

Four old timers were playing their weekly game of golf, one remarked how nice it would be to wake up on Christmas morning, roll out of bed and without an argument go directly to the golf course, meet his buddies and play a round. His buddies all chimed in said, "Let's do it! We'll make it a priority;...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

JOKES - ENJOY! Puns for Educated Minds The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.4. A...

Vic41 · Vic41

sucastja · sucastja

-- Edited by sucastja on Tuesday 30th of September 2014 05:19:40 PM

SLUG · SLUG

A woman goes to her boyfriend's parents' house for dinner. This is her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous. They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal. The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains are almost...

Vic41 · Vic41

Who needs a dictionary when you have dads, A small boy has a school home work > question to answer, so He asks his father "Dad, what's the difference > between 'theoretically' and 'realistically'?" > His dad thinks and then says "Right-o son, go and ask your Mother if she'd &...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks? 2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand? 3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know? 4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words? 5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack? 6....

SLUG · SLUG

CURRY CONTEST If you can read this whole story without laughing then there's absolutely no hope for you. Note: Please take time to read this slowly. For those of you who have lived in Natal , you know how typical this is. They actually have a Curry cook-off about June/July. It takes up a major portion of...

The Doo crew · The Doo crew

Arthur and the Witch: Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighbouring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a...

Vic41 · Vic41

One hot summer day, a blonde came to town with her dog, tied it under the shade of a tree, and headed into a restaurant for something cold to drink. Twenty minutes later, a policeman entered the restaurant and asked, 'Who owns the dog tied under that tree outside?' The blonde said it was hers. 'Your dog s...

SLUG · SLUG

So Grandpa? asked Dave at his engagement party ?your marriage to Grandma is legendary everyone talks about how you two get along so well and never fight, what?s the secret to your marital success?? ?Well? said Grandpa Joe after taking a deep puff on his cigar ?it all started on the way home from our wedd...

Wandering Whitfields · Wandering Whitfields

I have just been "told "I am MC at step Grandsons wedding on Sunday so I need a suitable joke for this wedding. Ha Ha it's no joke. Thank you G N s Desperate Daryl

reglynn · reglynn

One December day we found an old straggly cat at our door. She was a sorry sight.Starving, dirty, smelled terrible, skinny, and hair all matted down.. We felt sorry for her so we put her in a carrier and took her to the vet.We didn't know what to call her so we named her 'Pussycat.'The vet decided to keep...

Vic41 · Vic41

A customer complaint to the Irish Railway Company. The following is a customer complaint to the Irish Railway Company. Gentlemen, I have been riding your trains daily for the last two years, and the service on your line seems to be getting worse every day. I am tired of standing in the aisle all the time...

Vic41 · Vic41

Three dead bodies turn up at a mortuary all with very big smiles on their faces and the police call on the coroner to investigate. "First body," says the coroner, "Pierre Dubois, Frenchman, 70, died of heart failure while making love to his 20-year old mistress. Hence the Smil...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Don't blame me (Preview) BLAME How the world works lately... If a man cuts his finger off while Slicing salami at work, He blames the restaurant. If you smoke three packs a day For 40 years and die of lung cancer, Your family blames the Tobacco company. If yo...	Cupie	0	795	02:35 PM Oct 2, 2014 by Cupie
	LITTLE JOHNNY; (Preview) The teacher asked the class to use the word fascinate in a sentence. Molly put up her hand and said, My family went to my granddads farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating. The teacher said, That was good, but I wanted you to use the word fascinate, not fascinating. Sally raised her ha...	justcruisin01	1	865	04:54 PM Oct 1, 2014 by Bryan
	THE HAIR DRYER; (Preview) Getting a Hairdryer Through Customs. An attractive young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the Priest beside her, 'Father, may I ask a favor?' 'Of course child. What may I do for you?' 'Well, I bought my mother an expensive hair dryer for her birthday. It is unopened but well over the...	justcruisin01	0	721	04:27 PM Oct 1, 2014 by justcruisin01
	THE AUSSIE WAY; (Preview) Italian, a Frenchman and an Aussie were talking about screams of passion. The Italian said: "Last night I massaged my wife all over her body with the finest extra virgin olive oil, then we made passionate love and I made her scream, non-stop for five minutes." The Frenchman said: "...	justcruisin01	0	671	04:26 PM Oct 1, 2014 by justcruisin01
	MURPHY; (Preview) An Irishman was walking home late at night and sees a woman in the dark shadows.'Thirty quid,' she whispers. Murphy had never been with a hooker before, but Decides what the hell, it's only thirty quid. So they hid in the bushes.They're wildly and passionately entwined for a minute when all of a sudden...	justcruisin01	0	739	04:24 PM Oct 1, 2014 by justcruisin01
	XMAS GOLF (Preview) Four old timers were playing their weekly game of golf, one remarked how nice it would be to wake up on Christmas morning, roll out of bed and without an argument go directly to the golf course, meet his buddies and play a round. His buddies all chimed in said, "Let's do it! We'll make it a priority;...	SLUG	0	693	12:44 PM Oct 1, 2014 by SLUG
	Puns for Educated Minds... (Preview) JOKES - ENJOY! Puns for Educated Minds The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.4. A...	aussie_paul	2	2729	12:43 PM Oct 1, 2014 by Woody n Sue
	Desert Army 2050.....Downunder..... (Preview)	Vic41	0	777	11:55 AM Oct 1, 2014 by Vic41
	Over 60's (Preview) -- Edited by sucastja on Tuesday 30th of September 2014 05:19:40 PM	sucastja	1	797	06:13 PM Sep 30, 2014 by Vic41
	being discreet (Preview) A woman goes to her boyfriend's parents' house for dinner. This is her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous. They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal. The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains are almost...	SLUG	2	778	05:10 PM Sep 29, 2014 by Vic41
	Dad's Dictionary Lesson.... (Preview) Who needs a dictionary when you have dads, A small boy has a school home work > question to answer, so He asks his father "Dad, what's the difference > between 'theoretically' and 'realistically'?" > His dad thinks and then says "Right-o son, go and ask your Mother if she'd &...	Vic41	2	761	12:40 PM Sep 29, 2014 by Vic41
	JOKES - ENJOY! (Preview) 1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks? 2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand? 3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know? 4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words? 5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack? 6....	aussie_paul	1	743	11:40 AM Sep 29, 2014 by aussie_paul
	curry contest (Preview) *CURRY CONTEST* If you can read this whole story without laughing then there's absolutely no hope for you. *Note:* Please take time to read this slowly. For those of you who have lived in Natal , you know how typical this is. They actually have a Curry cook-off about June/July. It takes up a major portion of...	SLUG	2	1316	10:13 AM Sep 29, 2014 by D and D
	Understanding women (Preview) Arthur and the Witch: Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighbouring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a...	The Doo crew	1	830	10:05 PM Sep 28, 2014 by KFT
	Blonde's Dog.... (Preview) One hot summer day, a blonde came to town with her dog, tied it under the shade of a tree, and headed into a restaurant for something cold to drink. Twenty minutes later, a policeman entered the restaurant and asked, 'Who owns the dog tied under that tree outside?' The blonde said it was hers. 'Your dog s...	Vic41	0	666	01:07 PM Sep 28, 2014 by Vic41
	grandpa (Preview) So Grandpa? asked Dave at his engagement party ?your marriage to Grandma is legendary everyone talks about how you two get along so well and never fight, what?s the secret to your marital success?? ?Well? said Grandpa Joe after taking a deep puff on his cigar ?it all started on the way home from our wedd...	SLUG	1	710	08:58 PM Sep 27, 2014 by Woody n Sue
	Can anyone supply me with a suitable Wedding joke,please. (Preview) I have just been "told "I am MC at step Grandsons wedding on Sunday so I need a suitable joke for this wedding. Ha Ha it's no joke. Thank you G N s Desperate Daryl	Wandering Whitfields	3	784	04:41 PM Sep 27, 2014 by Wandering Whitfields
	The dirty cat (Preview) One December day we found an old straggly cat at our door. She was a sorry sight.Starving, dirty, smelled terrible, skinny, and hair all matted down.. We felt sorry for her so we put her in a carrier and took her to the vet.We didn't know what to call her so we named her 'Pussycat.'The vet decided to keep...	reglynn	0	696	07:33 PM Sep 26, 2014 by reglynn
	Irish Railway Customer Complaint (Preview) A customer complaint to the Irish Railway Company. The following is a customer complaint to the Irish Railway Company. Gentlemen, I have been riding your trains daily for the last two years, and the service on your line seems to be getting worse every day. I am tired of standing in the aisle all the time...	Vic41	0	672	01:33 PM Sep 26, 2014 by Vic41
	Smiling Stiffs.... (Preview) Three dead bodies turn up at a mortuary all with very big smiles on their faces and the police call on the coroner to investigate. "First body," says the coroner, "Pierre Dubois, Frenchman, 70, died of heart failure while making love to his 20-year old mistress. Hence the Smil...	Vic41	1	669	08:22 AM Sep 26, 2014 by Bryan
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