Just Joking

Hurls · Hurls

The following questions were set in last year's GED examination. These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds) Q. Name the four seasons A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar Q. How is dew formed A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company ins...

Hurls · Hurls

A DAMN FINE EXPLANATION: The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman. And she was upset. 'You are a disrespectful pig!' she cried. 'How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the Mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divo...

Hurls · Hurls

It was time for Father John's Saturday night bath and the young nun, Sister Magdalene, had prepared the bath water and towels just the way the old nun had instructed. Sister Magdalene was also instructed not to look at Father John's nakedness if she could help it, do whatever he told her to do, and pray...

Hurls · Hurls

House of ill repute See if you can work this out: There was a brothel at the top of a hill, with a large red light at the bottom of the hill.. There were four men .... one was walking briskly up the hill; one was inside the brothel; one was walking slowly down the hill and the fourth man was sitting in his car at t...

Hurls · Hurls

Turkey Sandwich Don't eat turkey sandwiches, no matter what ! ! A little boy and a little girl attended the same school and became friends.Every day they would sit together to eat their lunch. They discovered that they both brought turkey sandwiches every day! This went on all through the fourth an...

Hurls · Hurls

The Black Bra (as told by a woman) I had lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends. One is engaged, one is a mistress, and I have been married for 20+ years. We were chatting about our relationships and decided to amaze our men by greeting them at the door wearing a black bra, stiletto heels and a mask over ou...

Hurls · Hurls

Quickie in the Bushes There are two statues in a park; one of a nude man and one of a nude woman They had been facing each other across a pathway for a hundred years, when one day an angel comes down from the sky and, with a single gesture, brings the two to life. The angel tells them, 'As a reward for being s...

Vic41 · Vic41

A little girl asks her mum, 'Mum, can I take the dog for a walk around theblock?'Her mum replies 'No, because she is on heat.''What does that mean?' asked the child.'Go and ask your father. I think he's in the garage.'The little girl goes out to the garage and says,'Dad, can I take Lulu for a walk around th...

Baggie · Baggie

Two patients limped into two different surgeries and saw two different doctors. Both patients required hip replacement. Patient one is examined straight away, sent off for an X ray within the hour and is booked in for surgery the following week. Patient two waits three weeks for an appointment with...

Vic41 · Vic41

A husband went to the police station to file a "missing person" report for his missing wife: Husband: I lost my wife, she went shopping hasn't come back yet. Inspector: What is her height ? Husband: I never checked. Inspector: Slim or healthy ?. Husband: Not slim , she can be healthy. Inspec...

rockylizard · rockylizard

Two little old ladies were discussing their husbands over tea. "I wish George would stop biting his nails," said one. "He makes me terribly nervous." "My Bob used to do the same thing," the other woman replied. "But I broke him of the habit." "How?&...

Vic41 · Vic41

"Lexophile" is a word used to describe those that have a love for words, such as "you can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish", or "to write with a broken pencil is pointless." A competition to see who can come up with the best lexophiles is held every year. This year...

TronicSavvyJohn · TronicSavvyJohn

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said, 'Jesus knows you're here.'He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head and continued.Just as he pulled...

Hurls · Hurls

RuralAustralian ComputerTerminology A little bit of Aussie Kulcha..... LOGON: Adding wood to make thebarbie hotter. LOG OFF: Not adding any more wood to the barbie. MONITOR: Keeping an eye on the barbie. DOWN...

TronicSavvyJohn · TronicSavvyJohn

NEWS FLASH The Australian Navy intercepted a boatload of people off the coast of Darwin today.This placed the Navy in a very awkward position, as the boat was not heading to , but away from Australia towards Indonesia.Another surprise finding was that they were loaded with Aussies who were all se...

Hurls · Hurls

Donald Duck & Daisy Donald Duck and Daisy Duck were spending the night together in a hotel room and Donald wanted to have sex with Daisy. The first thing Daisy asked was, "Do you have a condom?" Donald frowned and said, "No." Daisy told Donald that if he didn't get a condo...

TronicSavvyJohn · TronicSavvyJohn

I was in Home Depot the other day pushing my cart around when I collided with a young guy pushing his cart. I said to the young guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going." The young guy says, "That's OK. It's a coincidence. I...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

An old blind cowboy wanders into an all girl biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a barstool & orders a shot of Jack Daniels. After sitting there for a while he yells to the bartender "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep husky...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive, double-pane, energy-efficient kind. Today, I got a call from the contractor who installed them. He complained that the work had been completed a year ago and I still hadn't paid for them. Helloooo ... just because I'm blonde d...

Hurls · Hurls

A CHURCH STORY A small church had a very attractive big busted organist, and her breasts were so large that they bounced and jiggled while she played the organ. Unfortunately, she distracted the congregation considerably. The very proper church ladies were appalled. They said something had to be d...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Senior Exam Questions (Preview) The following questions were set in last year's GED examination. These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds) Q. Name the four seasons A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar Q. How is dew formed A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company ins...	Hurls	1	728	03:38 PM Jun 7, 2014 by Vic41
	A Damn Fine Explanation (Preview) A DAMN FINE EXPLANATION: The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman. And she was upset. 'You are a disrespectful pig!' she cried. 'How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the Mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divo...	Hurls	0	674	02:14 PM Jun 7, 2014 by Hurls
	Bath Night (Preview) It was time for Father John's Saturday night bath and the young nun, Sister Magdalene, had prepared the bath water and towels just the way the old nun had instructed. Sister Magdalene was also instructed not to look at Father John's nakedness if she could help it, do whatever he told her to do, and pray...	Hurls	0	709	02:11 PM Jun 7, 2014 by Hurls
	House of Ill Repute (Preview) House of ill repute See if you can work this out: There was a brothel at the top of a hill, with a large red light at the bottom of the hill.. There were four men .... one was walking briskly up the hill; one was inside the brothel; one was walking slowly down the hill and the fourth man was sitting in his car at t...	Hurls	0	732	02:09 PM Jun 7, 2014 by Hurls
	Turkey Sandwich (Preview) Turkey Sandwich Don't eat turkey sandwiches, no matter what ! ! A little boy and a little girl attended the same school and became friends.Every day they would sit together to eat their lunch. They discovered that they both brought turkey sandwiches every day! This went on all through the fourth an...	Hurls	0	700	02:07 PM Jun 7, 2014 by Hurls
	The Black Bra (Preview) *The Black Bra (as told by a woman)* I had lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends. *One is engaged, one is a mistress, and I have been married for* *20+ years. We were chatting about our relationships and decided to* *amaze our men by greeting them at the door wearing a black* *bra, stiletto heels and a mask over ou...*	Hurls	0	652	02:05 PM Jun 7, 2014 by Hurls
	A Naughty One? (Preview) Quickie in the Bushes There are two statues in a park; one of a nude man and one of a nude woman They had been facing each other across a pathway for a hundred years, when one day an angel comes down from the sky and, with a single gesture, brings the two to life. The angel tells them, 'As a reward for being s...	Hurls	0	662	02:03 PM Jun 7, 2014 by Hurls
	Dog's Tale..... (Preview) A little girl asks her mum, 'Mum, can I take the dog for a walk around theblock?'Her mum replies 'No, because she is on heat.''What does that mean?' asked the child.'Go and ask your father. I think he's in the garage.'The little girl goes out to the garage and says,'Dad, can I take Lulu for a walk around th...	Vic41	0	721	03:11 PM Jun 5, 2014 by Vic41
	Two different doctors (Preview) Two patients limped into two different surgeries and saw two different doctors. Both patients required hip replacement. Patient one is examined straight away, sent off for an X ray within the hour and is booked in for surgery the following week. Patient two waits three weeks for an appointment with...	Baggie	0	749	05:39 PM Jun 4, 2014 by Baggie
	Missing Wife... (Preview) A husband went to the police station to file a "missing person" report for his missing wife: Husband: I lost my wife, she went shopping hasn't come back yet. Inspector: What is her height ? Husband: I never checked. Inspector: Slim or healthy ?. Husband: Not slim , she can be healthy. Inspec...	Vic41	0	794	03:02 PM Jun 4, 2014 by Vic41
	Nails (Preview) Two little old ladies were discussing their husbands over tea. "I wish George would stop biting his nails," said one. "He makes me terribly nervous." "My Bob used to do the same thing," the other woman replied. "But I broke him of the habit." "How?&...	rockylizard	0	619	08:47 AM Jun 4, 2014 by rockylizard
	Lexophiles..... (Preview) "Lexophile" is a word used to describe those that have a love for words, such as "you can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish", or "to write with a broken pencil is pointless." A competition to see who can come up with the best lexophiles is held every year. This year...	Vic41	0	828	06:04 PM Jun 3, 2014 by Vic41
	Robbery (Preview) A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said, 'Jesus knows you're here.'He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head and continued.Just as he pulled...	TronicSavvyJohn	0	679	05:32 PM Jun 3, 2014 by TronicSavvyJohn
	Rural Australian Computer Terminology (Preview) RuralAustralian ComputerTerminology A little bit of Aussie Kulcha..... LOGON: Adding wood to make thebarbie hotter. LOG OFF: Not adding any more wood to the barbie. MONITOR: Keeping an eye on the barbie. DOWN...	Hurls	0	647	05:06 PM Jun 3, 2014 by Hurls
	NEWS FLASH - I have three seats available (Preview) NEWS FLASH The Australian Navy intercepted a boatload of people off the coast of Darwin today.This placed the Navy in a very awkward position, as the boat was not heading to , but away from Australia towards Indonesia.Another surprise finding was that they were loaded with Aussies who were all se...	TronicSavvyJohn	0	709	04:49 PM Jun 3, 2014 by TronicSavvyJohn
	Donald Duck & Daisy (Preview) Donald Duck & Daisy Donald Duck and Daisy Duck were spending the night together in a hotel room and Donald wanted to have sex with Daisy. The first thing Daisy asked was, "Do you have a condom?" Donald frowned and said, "No." Daisy told Donald that if he didn't get a condo...	Hurls	0	678	04:49 PM Jun 3, 2014 by Hurls
	Lost Wife in the shop (Preview) I was in Home Depot the other day pushing my cart around when I collided with a young guy pushing his cart. I said to the young guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going." The young guy says, "That's OK. It's a coincidence. I...	TronicSavvyJohn	0	573	04:39 PM Jun 3, 2014 by TronicSavvyJohn
	THE BLIND COWBOY;; (Preview) An old blind cowboy wanders into an all girl biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a barstool & orders a shot of Jack Daniels. After sitting there for a while he yells to the bartender "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep husky...	justcruisin01	0	630	10:15 AM Jun 3, 2014 by justcruisin01
	WINDOW REPLACEMENTS;; (Preview) Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive, double-pane, energy-efficient kind. Today, I got a call from the contractor who installed them. He complained that the work had been completed a year ago and I still hadn't paid for them. Helloooo ... just because I'm blonde d...	justcruisin01	0	816	10:13 AM Jun 3, 2014 by justcruisin01
	The Church Organist (Preview) A CHURCH STORY A small church had a very attractive big busted organist, and her breasts were so large that they bounced and jiggled while she played the organ. Unfortunately, she distracted the congregation considerably. The very proper church ladies were appalled. They said something had to be d...	Hurls	0	641	04:08 PM Jun 2, 2014 by Hurls
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