Just Joking

SLUG · SLUG

As a butcher is shooing a dog from his shop, he sees $10 and a note in his mouth, reading: "10 lamb chops, please."Amazed, he takes the money, puts a bag of chops in the dog's mouth, and quickly closes the shop.He follows the dog and watches him wait for a green light, look both ways, and trot acr...

Hurls · Hurls

I knew it, I knew it, I knew it! Finally a study that makes sense. Brains of the elderly slow because they know so much..... Elderly people have so much information in their brain that it takes longer for them to access it, scientific studies show. Older people do not decline mentally with age. It j...

Vic41 · Vic41

Vic41 · Vic41

My Favorite Animal Our teacher asked what my favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken." She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, because everyone else laughed. My parents told me to always tell the truth. I did. Fried chicken is my favorite animal. I told my da...

Vic41 · Vic41

Nice little Ditty, sounds like Ted Egan but I'm not sure; http://www.youtube.com/embed/MZ35SOU9HTM

sarg · sarg

On a train from London to Manchester an Australian was berating the Englishman sitting across from him in the compartment."You English are too stuffy. You set yourselves apart too much. You think your stiff upper lip makes you above the rest of us. Look at me................I'm ME! ..........

sarg · sarg

Bob and Ralph were fishing on the Irish shoreline when Bob pulled out a cigar. Finding he had no matches,he asked Ralph for a light. 'Ya, shure, I tink I haff a lighter,' Ralph replied in his Irish accent and then, reaching into his tackle box, he pulled out a Bic lighter 10 inches long. 'My God, man!' e...

Yendorane · Yendorane

A mother in law said to her son's wife when the baby was born: "I don't mean to rude, but he doesn't look anything like my son." The daughter in law lifted her skirt and said: "I don't mean to be rude either, but this is a fa*ny, not a photo copier.

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Paddy, was walking along the street during his once-in-a-lifetime visit to Adelaide South Australia when he rounds a corner and sees there'sa high rise apartment building on fire.Paddy, ever the kind-hearted and resourceful Irishman, runs up to the building to see if he can help, and notices peop...

SLUG · SLUG

An old Vet. walked into a supermarket with his zipper down.A checkout chick walked up to him and said, "Your barracks door is open."Not a phrase that men normally use, he went on his way looking a bit puzzled.When he was just about done shopping, a man came up and said, "Your fly is open....

SLUG · SLUG

Ralph is driving home one evening, when he suddenly realizes that it's his daughter's birthday and he hasn't bought her a present. He drives to the mall, runs to the toy store, and says to the shop assistant, "How much is that Barbie in the window?" In a condescending manner, she says, "...

SLUG · SLUG

Wife : Honey before we gotmarried , you used to give me gifts and expensive jewellery. Husband : Yes...so ?Wife : How come you don't do it anymore?Husband : Have you ever seen a fisherman give worms to the fishafter

SLUG · SLUG

Mrs. Donovan was walking down O'Connell Street in Dublin when she met up with Father Flaherty. The Father said, 'Top o' the mornin' To ye! Aren't ye Mrs. Donovan and didn't I marry ye and yer' Hoosband couple 'a years ago?' She replied, 'Aye, that ye' did, Father.' The Father asked, 'And be there a ny wee...

sarg · sarg

On the first day of school, the children brought gifts for their teacher. The supermarket manager's daughter brought the teacher a basket of assorted fruit. The florist's son brought the teacher a bouquet of flowers. The candy-store owner's daughter gave the teacher a pretty box of candy. Then the...

Vic41 · Vic41

A female dwarf goes to a doctor complaining of an embarrassing itch in the groin area. > The doctor looks her up and down, picks her up and stands her on his desk. > He lifts up her skirt and puts his head under. A little perplexed, the lady dwarf > hears "snip, snip, snip, snip." > &...

Yendorane · Yendorane

A couple had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says, 'Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together.' 'I know,' the old man said. 'We were probably sitting here naked as a jaybird fifty years ago..' 'Well,' G...

Vic41 · Vic41

They were together in the House. Just the two of them. It was a cold, dark, stormy night. The storm had come quickly and each time the thunder boomed he watched her jump. She looked across the room and admired his strong appearance....and wished that he would take her in his arms, comfort her and protec...

rockylizard · rockylizard

The winning jokes from The Edinburgh Fringe Festival....... Ive decided to sell my Hoover well, it was just collecting dust Tim Vine Ive written a joke about a fat badger, but I couldnt fit it into my set Masai Graham. Always leave them wanting more, my uncle used to say to me. Which is why he lost his j...

SLUG · SLUG

Two Irishmen were sitting in a pub watching the Tour de France on TV.Seamus shook his head and asked, "Whoi t'e hell do they do that?" "Do what?" asked Mick. "Go on them boikes for moiles and moiles, up and down t'e hills, round t'e bends. Day After day, week after week. No mat...

SLUG · SLUG

WIFE'S LAWN MOWER FOR SALE > > > > HERES THE STORY. ITS STILL HARD TO BELIEVE THE WAY IT > > TURNED OUT > > > > MY WIFE'S RIDING ON LAWN MOWER IS NOW FOR SALE ! > > > > MY WIFE SAID SHE WANTED A RIDING ON LAWN MOWER. > > > > SHE WORKS ALL DAY AND WAS ALWAYS TI...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	DOG YARN (Preview) As a butcher is shooing a dog from his shop, he sees $10 and a note in his mouth, reading: "10 lamb chops, please."Amazed, he takes the money, puts a bag of chops in the dog's mouth, and quickly closes the shop.He follows the dog and watches him wait for a green light, look both ways, and trot acr...	SLUG	1	1289	10:08 PM Aug 28, 2014 by Dunmowin
	Makes Sense! (Preview) I knew it, I knew it, I knew it! Finally a study that makes sense. Brains of the elderly slow because they know so much..... Elderly people have so much information in their brain that it takes longer for them to access it, scientific studies show. Older people do not decline mentally with age. It j...	Hurls	0	753	04:50 PM Aug 28, 2014 by Hurls
	Are you having one of those days ??????? (Preview)	Vic41	0	699	08:19 PM Aug 27, 2014 by Vic41
	Boys Favorite Animal... (Preview) My Favorite Animal Our teacher asked what my favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken." She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, because everyone else laughed. My parents told me to always tell the truth. I did. Fried chicken is my favorite animal. I told my da...	Vic41	4	1033	08:10 PM Aug 27, 2014 by Vic41
	Scottish Song (Sound On) (Preview) Nice little Ditty, sounds like Ted Egan but I'm not sure; http://www.youtube.com/embed/MZ35SOU9HTM	Vic41	2	1118	12:01 AM Aug 27, 2014 by Vic41
	WONDERFULLY BRITISH! ...... (Preview) On a train from London to Manchester an Australian was berating the Englishman sitting across from him in the compartment."You English are too stuffy. You set yourselves apart too much. You think your stiff upper lip makes you above the rest of us. Look at me................I'm ME! ..........	sarg	1	747	02:27 PM Aug 26, 2014 by Vic41
	The Irish Bic Lighter (Preview) Bob and Ralph were fishing on the Irish shoreline when Bob pulled out a cigar. Finding he had no matches,he asked Ralph for a light. 'Ya, shure, I tink I haff a lighter,' Ralph replied in his Irish accent and then, reaching into his tackle box, he pulled out a Bic lighter 10 inches long. 'My God, man!' e...	sarg	0	829	01:18 PM Aug 25, 2014 by sarg
	Mother in law (Preview) A mother in law said to her son's wife when the baby was born: "I don't mean to rude, but he doesn't look anything like my son." The daughter in law lifted her skirt and said: "I don't mean to be rude either, but this is a fa*ny, not a photo copier.	Yendorane	0	782	08:04 AM Aug 25, 2014 by Yendorane
	'I'm Patrick Sean Michael Fitzpatrick, the Irish Fire Fighter! (Preview) Paddy, was walking along the street during his once-in-a-lifetime visit to Adelaide South Australia when he rounds a corner and sees there'sa high rise apartment building on fire.Paddy, ever the kind-hearted and resourceful Irishman, runs up to the building to see if he can help, and notices peop...	aussie_paul	1	763	07:34 AM Aug 25, 2014 by Yendorane
	been there befor (Preview) An old Vet. walked into a supermarket with his zipper down.A checkout chick walked up to him and said, "Your barracks door is open."Not a phrase that men normally use, he went on his way looking a bit puzzled.When he was just about done shopping, a man came up and said, "Your fly is open....	SLUG	0	709	11:32 PM Aug 24, 2014 by SLUG
	so dose this one (Preview) Ralph is driving home one evening, when he suddenly realizes that it's his daughter's birthday and he hasn't bought her a present. He drives to the mall, runs to the toy store, and says to the shop assistant, "How much is that Barbie in the window?" In a condescending manner, she says, "...	SLUG	0	634	10:07 PM Aug 24, 2014 by SLUG
	sounds familiar (Preview) Wife : Honey before we gotmarried , you used to give me gifts and expensive jewellery. Husband : Yes...so ?Wife : How come you don't do it anymore?Husband : Have you ever seen a fisherman give worms to the fishafter	SLUG	0	600	10:06 PM Aug 24, 2014 by SLUG
	another irish one (Preview) Mrs. Donovan was walking down O'Connell Street in Dublin when she met up with Father Flaherty. The Father said, 'Top o' the mornin' To ye! Aren't ye Mrs. Donovan and didn't I marry ye and yer' Hoosband couple 'a years ago?' She replied, 'Aye, that ye' did, Father.' The Father asked, 'And be there a ny wee...	SLUG	0	629	10:04 PM Aug 24, 2014 by SLUG
	SCOTCH ?? (Preview) On the first day of school, the children brought gifts for their teacher. The supermarket manager's daughter brought the teacher a basket of assorted fruit. The florist's son brought the teacher a bouquet of flowers. The candy-store owner's daughter gave the teacher a pretty box of candy. Then the...	sarg	1	723	08:11 PM Aug 24, 2014 by pugs
	Itchy Bits... (Preview) A female dwarf goes to a doctor complaining of an embarrassing itch in the groin area. > The doctor looks her up and down, picks her up and stands her on his desk. > He lifts up her skirt and puts his head under. A little perplexed, the lady dwarf > hears "snip, snip, snip, snip." > &...	Vic41	0	832	01:09 PM Aug 22, 2014 by Vic41
	old times ! (Preview) A couple had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says, 'Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together.' 'I know,' the old man said. 'We were probably sitting here naked as a jaybird fifty years ago..' 'Well,' G...	Yendorane	0	744	09:35 AM Aug 22, 2014 by Yendorane
	Forbidden Love.... (Preview) They were together in the House. Just the two of them. It was a cold, dark, stormy night. The storm had come quickly and each time the thunder boomed he watched her jump. She looked across the room and admired his strong appearance....and wished that he would take her in his arms, comfort her and protec...	Vic41	0	673	09:59 PM Aug 21, 2014 by Vic41
	Edinburgh Fringe Festival (Preview) The winning jokes from The Edinburgh Fringe Festival....... Ive decided to sell my Hoover well, it was just collecting dust Tim Vine Ive written a joke about a fat badger, but I couldnt fit it into my set Masai Graham. Always leave them wanting more, my uncle used to say to me. Which is why he lost his j...	rockylizard	0	630	08:14 PM Aug 21, 2014 by rockylizard
	ANOTHER IRISH ONE (Preview) Two Irishmen were sitting in a pub watching the Tour de France on TV.Seamus shook his head and asked, "Whoi t'e hell do they do that?" "Do what?" asked Mick. "Go on them boikes for moiles and moiles, up and down t'e hills, round t'e bends. Day After day, week after week. No mat...	SLUG	0	651	10:02 PM Aug 20, 2014 by SLUG
	THE WIFES NEW RIDE ON LAWN MOWER (Preview) WIFE'S LAWN MOWER FOR SALE > > > > HERES THE STORY. ITS STILL HARD TO BELIEVE THE WAY IT > > TURNED OUT > > > > MY WIFE'S RIDING ON LAWN MOWER IS NOW FOR SALE ! > > > > MY WIFE SAID SHE WANTED A RIDING ON LAWN MOWER. > > > > SHE WORKS ALL DAY AND WAS ALWAYS TI...	SLUG	1	835	08:40 PM Aug 20, 2014 by rockylizard
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