|
THE ARNOTT'S BISCUIT STORY.
(Preview)
THE ARNOTT'S BISCUIT STORY. Mr. "Monte Carlo" was a fresh biscuit, He took Mrs "Vo Vo" for a "Morning Coffee". He put his hand on her "Milky Way" And she thought it was "Nice" But when he put his "Scotch Finger" On her "Date Slic...
|
sarg
|
2
|
2892
|
|
|
|
|
A teenage boy had just passed his driving test
(Preview)
A teenage boy had just passed his driving test and inquired of his father as to when they could discuss his use of the car.His father said he'd make a deal with his son, "You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little, and get your hair cut. Then we'll talk about the car."...
|
rosco532
|
0
|
517
|
|
|
|
|
Hell0, hello.
(Preview)
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A mobile phone rings and a man engages the hands-free function and begins to talk. Man: "Hello". Woman"Hi, honey, it's me. Are you at the club?" Man: "Yes". Woman: "I'm at the shops and have found a beautiful leat...
|
Pard
|
0
|
531
|
|
|
|
|
How not to get off to a good start at your wedding...
(Preview)
http://happyplace.someecards.com/4110/bridal-dress-skidmark-causes-drunken-brawl-at-scottish-wedding-reception
|
petengail
|
1
|
691
|
|
|
|
|
Where should I post
(Preview)
Ummmmm! . Should I post it here or post it there? . its not really a joke, just a humorous storyumm, so should I post it there. Maybe I should post it in both, that way Ill be half right, maybe half wrong damn being a GN is tougher than I thought! Dear Benefits Person, My name is Charles Wright and I live in Cab...
|
Hendo
|
5
|
833
|
|
|
|
|
MMMMMMMMMM That Far Back LOL
(Preview)
|
copper1
|
0
|
561
|
|
|
|
|
Nag, Nag, Nag
(Preview)
An attorney arrived home late, after a very tough day trying to get a stay of execution. His last minute plea for clemency to the governor had failed and he was feeling worn out and depressed. As soon as he walked through the door at home, his wife started on him about, 'What time of night to be getting home...
|
copper1
|
0
|
682
|
|
|
|
|
Wonder if this is my Ex's new partner.
(Preview)
A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation in Jerusalem . While they were there, the wife passed away . The undertaker told the husband, "You can have her buried here in the Holy Land for $150 or we can have her shipped back home for $5,000 . The husband thought about it and told the undertaker h...
|
Woolly
|
0
|
575
|
|
|
|
|
Paddy 4
(Preview)
Paddy says to Mick - I'm ready for a holiday, only this year I'm going to do it a bit different. 3 years ago I went to Spain and Mary got pregnant. 2 years ago I went to Italy and Mary got pregnant. Last year I went to Majorca and Mary got pregnant." Mick asks - So what are you going to do this year?."...
|
sarg
|
0
|
557
|
|
|
|
|
paddy 3
(Preview)
A coach load of paddies on a mystery tour decided to run a sweepstake to guess where they were going..... the driver won £52!
|
sarg
|
0
|
517
|
|
|
|
|
A DAY AT THE RACES;
(Preview)
Two female teachers took a group of students from grades 1, 2 and 3 for a field trip to Flemington Racecourse. When it was time to take the children to the 'bathroom', it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other. The teacher assigned to the boys was waiting o...
|
justcruisin01
|
2
|
615
|
|
|
|
|
MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME # 2
(Preview)
My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION - "Stop acting like your father!" My mother taught me about ENVY - "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!" My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION - "Just w...
|
Hendo
|
0
|
489
|
|
|
|
|
MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME
(Preview)
My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE - "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning!" My mother taught me RELIGION - "You better pray that will come out of the carpet." My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL - "If you don't straighte...
|
Hendo
|
4
|
992
|
|
|
|
|
When cough medicine was medicine
(Preview)
And they complain now about us having too much sugar...... Damn picture won't load...sorry -- Edited by Ontos45 on Sunday 19th of January 2014 12:58:11 PM
|
Ontos45
|
0
|
555
|
|
|
|
|
TYPICAL BLOODY QUEENSLANDER............
(Preview)
At a national conference of the Australian Hotels Association, the general managers of Cascade Brewery ( Tasmania ), Tooheys ( New South Wales ), XXXX ( Queensland ), CUB ( Victoria ) and Coopers ( South Australia ) found themselves sitting at the same table for lunch. When the wait...
|
sarg
|
1
|
731
|
|
|
|
|
Wedding
(Preview)
It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers......
|
rockylizard
|
2
|
474
|
|
|
|
|
The Psychiatrist On Obsessions.....
(Preview)
A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with five young mothers and their small children. "You all have obsessions," he observed. To the first mother, Mary, he said: "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy." He turned to the second...
|
Vic41
|
1
|
542
|
|
|
|
|
Paddy 2
(Preview)
Mick walks into Paddy's barn and catches him dancing naked in front of a tractor. Mick says, "Oi Paddy, what ya doing?" Paddy says, "Well me and Mary haven't been getting on in the bedroom lately & the therapist recommended I do something sexy to a tractor."
|
copper1
|
1
|
553
|
|
|
|
|
Paddy
(Preview)
Paddy finds a sandwich with two wires stickin out of it. He phones the police and says "Bejasus I've just found a sandwich dat looks like a bomb." The operator asks, "is it tickin?... Paddy says "No, oi tink it's beef.."
|
copper1
|
0
|
469
|
|
|
|
|
Exams .
(Preview)
Just before the end of a school day the teacher says to the class " Don't forget tomorrow we have a very important examand it is absolutely compulsory for everyone to be here ." The only excuse for non-attendance is a death in the family or a severe illness ." Johnny stands and says "...
|
sandsmere
|
0
|
571
|
|
|
