Just Joking

Vic41 · Vic41

FIFTY SHADES OF CHOCOLATE Mr Cadbury met Miss Rowntree on a Double Decker. It was just After Eight. They got off at Quality Street . He asked her name. 'Polo, I'm the one with the hole' she said, with a Wispa. 'I'm Marathon , the one with the nuts' he replied. He touched her Cream Eggs, which w...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

A blonde heard that baths in milk would make her beautiful. She left a note for her milkman Dave to leave 25 gallons of milk. When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. Dave thought she probably meant 2.5 gallons. So he knocked on the door to clarify the point. The blonde came to the doo...

sarg · sarg

A little boy was waiting for his mother to come out of the grocery store. As he waited, he was approached by a man who asked, "Son, can you tell me where the Post Office is?" The little boy replied, "Sure! Just go straight down this street a coupla blocks and turn to your right." Th...

JayDee · JayDee

This is something to think about when negative people Are doing their best to rain on your parade So remember this story the next time A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband.. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded: &q...

Gunsondeck · Gunsondeck

Proud to be an Aussie If you had bought $1,000.00 of Qantas shares one year ago, you wouldhave $49.00 today! If you bought $1,000.00 AIG shares one year ago, you would have$33.00today! If you bought $1,000.00 worth of Lehman Brothers shares one year ago,you w...

Gunsondeck · Gunsondeck

Inner Peace If you can start the day without caffeine, If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains, If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles, If you can eat the same food everyday and be grateful for it, If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give y...

Hurls · Hurls

Garage Door The boss walked into the office one morning not knowing his zipper was down and his fly area wide open. His assistant walked up to him and said, 'This morning when you left your house, did you close your garage door?' The boss told her he knew he'd closed the garage door, and walked into his off...

sarg · sarg

Once upon a time, there lived a woman who had a maddening passion for Baked Beans. She loved them but unfortunately, they had always had a very embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction to her. Then one day she met a man and fell in love.When it became apparent that they would marry she thought to hersel...

Hurls · Hurls

Five surgeons from big cities are discussing who makes the Best Patients to operate on. The first surgeon, from New York , says, 'I like to see accountants On my operating table because when you open them up, everything Inside is numbered.' The second, from Chicago , responds, 'Yeah, but you should tr...

Hurls · Hurls

A group of women were at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with their husband. The women were asked, "How many of you love your husband?" All the women raised their hands. Then they were asked, "When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?" Some women...

Hendo · Hendo

I've got a new neighbour! She lives right next door! I can see her place from my back deck! She's single! She's blonde She has the body of a porn star! I watched as she came from work this evening! I was surprised when she waled up my driveway and nocked on my door! I rushed to open it, she looked in the eye and s...

JayDee · JayDee

Eight Words with two Meanings 1. THINGY (thing-ee) n. Female...... Any part under a car's hood. Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra. 2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj. Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another. Male.... Playing cricket without a box. 3. COMMUNICAT...

JayDee · JayDee

There I was, sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making biker stepped up next to me, grabbed my drink and gulped it down in one swig."Well, whatcha' gonna do about it?" he said menacingly, as I burst into tears."Come on, man," the biker said, "I didn...

rosco532 · rosco532

Through the ages, men have been trying to unlock this mystery: Why do their wives, who accept them just as they are before they get married, begin the quest to change their behaviour and life-style once their vows are exchanged? Finally, the riddle is solved. A social-scientist has arrived at this s...

sarg · sarg

An atheist was seated next to a little girl on an airplane and he turned to her and said, "Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger." The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, "What woul...

Hendo · Hendo

Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Knee-deep Schitt, Inc. Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt and they had 6 children: Holie Schitt, The twins; Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt and Bull Schitt. Jack and...

Vic41 · Vic41

Three girls all worked in the same office with the same female boss. Each day, they watched the boss leave work early. One day, the girls decided that, when the boss left, they would leave right behind her. After all, she never called or came back to work, so how would she know they went home early? The br...

sarg · sarg

TWO OLD MEN DECIDE THEY ARE CLOSE TO THEIR LAST DAYS AND DECIDE TO HAVE A LAST NIGHT ON THE TOWN. AFTER A FEW DRINKS, THEY END UP AT THE LOCAL BROTHEL THE MADAM TAKES ONE LOOK AT THE TWO OLD GEEZERS AND WHISPERS TO HER MANAGER, 'GO UP TO THE FIRST TWO BEDROOMS AND PUT AN INFLATED DOLL IN EACH BED. THESE...

rockylizard · rockylizard

Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee, were out checking meters in a suburban neighbourhood. They parked their truck at the end of the alley and worked their way to the other end. At the last house a woman looking out her kitchen window watched the two men as they...

Eagle · Eagle

Backing The Van All around this wide brown country there are delights you all should knowand to see it all should be a lasting plan.I've seen a few weird things myself but the best Ive every seenis when a poor old nomad tries to back his van. No matter where you strike them from the Cape to Hobart to...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Fifty Shade Of Chocolate (Preview) FIFTY SHADES OF CHOCOLATE Mr Cadbury met Miss Rowntree on a Double Decker. It was just After Eight. They got off at Quality Street . He asked her name. 'Polo, I'm the one with the hole' she said, with a Wispa. 'I'm Marathon , the one with the nuts' he replied. He touched her Cream Eggs, which w...	Vic41	1	689	11:54 AM Feb 6, 2014 by sarg
	BLONDE MILK; (Preview) A blonde heard that baths in milk would make her beautiful. She left a note for her milkman Dave to leave 25 gallons of milk. When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. Dave thought she probably meant 2.5 gallons. So he knocked on the door to clarify the point. The blonde came to the doo...	justcruisin01	0	752	08:55 PM Feb 5, 2014 by justcruisin01
	Directions from a pastor! (Preview) A little boy was waiting for his mother to come out of the grocery store. As he waited, he was approached by a man who asked, "Son, can you tell me where the Post Office is?" The little boy replied, "Sure! Just go straight down this street a coupla blocks and turn to your right." Th...	sarg	0	665	08:54 PM Feb 5, 2014 by sarg
	Sweet revenge. so email it to friends (Preview) This is something to think about when negative people Are doing their best to rain on your parade So remember this story the next time A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband.. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded: &q...	JayDee	0	698	08:18 AM Feb 5, 2014 by JayDee
	Proud to be an Aussie (Preview) Proud to be an Aussie If you had bought $1,000.00 of Qantas shares one year ago, you wouldhave $49.00 today! If you bought $1,000.00 AIG shares one year ago, you would have$33.00today! If you bought $1,000.00 worth of Lehman Brothers shares one year ago,you w...	Gunsondeck	0	788	06:39 PM Feb 4, 2014 by Gunsondeck
	Inner Peace (Preview) Inner Peace If you can start the day without caffeine, If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains, If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles, If you can eat the same food everyday and be grateful for it, If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give y...	Gunsondeck	0	776	06:35 PM Feb 4, 2014 by Gunsondeck
	For all you Old Blokes out there (Preview) Garage Door The boss walked into the office one morning not knowing his zipper was down and his fly area wide open. His assistant walked up to him and said, 'This morning when you left your house, did you close your garage door?' The boss told her he knew he'd closed the garage door, and walked into his off...	Hurls	1	701	03:15 PM Feb 3, 2014 by sarg
	SURPRISE (Preview) Once upon a time, there lived a woman who had a maddening passion for Baked Beans. She loved them but unfortunately, they had always had a very embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction to her. Then one day she met a man and fell in love.When it became apparent that they would marry she thought to hersel...	sarg	0	846	02:44 PM Feb 3, 2014 by sarg
	Surgeons Preferences (Preview) Five surgeons from big cities are discussing who makes the Best Patients to operate on. The first surgeon, from New York , says, 'I like to see accountants On my operating table because when you open them up, everything Inside is numbered.' The second, from Chicago , responds, 'Yeah, but you should tr...	Hurls	0	630	01:19 PM Feb 3, 2014 by Hurls
	Answers to Wife (Preview) A group of women were at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with their husband. The women were asked, "How many of you love your husband?" All the women raised their hands. Then they were asked, "When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?" Some women...	Hurls	0	587	01:17 PM Feb 3, 2014 by Hurls
	NEW NEIGHBOUR (Preview) I've got a new neighbour! She lives right next door! I can see her place from my back deck! She's single! She's blonde She has the body of a porn star! I watched as she came from work this evening! I was surprised when she waled up my driveway and nocked on my door! I rushed to open it, she looked in the eye and s...	Hendo	1	963	10:29 AM Feb 3, 2014 by Ontos45
	You know what I mean (Preview) Eight Words with two Meanings 1. THINGY (thing-ee) n. Female...... Any part under a car's hood. Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra. 2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj. Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another. Male.... Playing cricket without a box. 3. COMMUNICAT...	JayDee	0	829	09:32 AM Feb 3, 2014 by JayDee
	Bad Day for the Bikie. (Preview) There I was, sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making biker stepped up next to me, grabbed my drink and gulped it down in one swig."Well, whatcha' gonna do about it?" he said menacingly, as I burst into tears."Come on, man," the biker said, "I didn...	JayDee	0	595	11:03 PM Feb 2, 2014 by JayDee
	At last we now know... (Preview) Through the ages, men have been trying to unlock this mystery: Why do their wives, who accept them just as they are before they get married, begin the quest to change their behaviour and life-style once their vows are exchanged? Finally, the riddle is solved. A social-scientist has arrived at this s...	rosco532	0	679	08:40 PM Jan 31, 2014 by rosco532
	LITTLE GIRLS (Preview) An atheist was seated next to a little girl on an airplane and he turned to her and said, "Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger." The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, "What woul...	sarg	0	975	06:48 PM Jan 31, 2014 by sarg
	Jack Schitt (Preview) Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Knee-deep Schitt, Inc. Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt and they had 6 children: Holie Schitt, The twins; Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt and Bull Schitt. Jack and...	Hendo	5	902	04:25 PM Jan 31, 2014 by Big Gorilla
	Leaving Work Early..... (Preview) Three girls all worked in the same office with the same female boss. Each day, they watched the boss leave work early. One day, the girls decided that, when the boss left, they would leave right behind her. After all, she never called or came back to work, so how would she know they went home early? The br...	Vic41	0	743	12:34 AM Jan 31, 2014 by Vic41
	Two Old Men‏ (Preview) TWO OLD MEN DECIDE THEY ARE CLOSE TO THEIR LAST DAYS AND DECIDE TO HAVE A LAST NIGHT ON THE TOWN. AFTER A FEW DRINKS, THEY END UP AT THE LOCAL BROTHEL THE MADAM TAKES ONE LOOK AT THE TWO OLD GEEZERS AND WHISPERS TO HER MANAGER, 'GO UP TO THE FIRST TWO BEDROOMS AND PUT AN INFLATED DOLL IN EACH BED. THESE...	sarg	3	722	03:02 PM Jan 30, 2014 by Peterpan
	The Gas Man (Preview) Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee, were out checking meters in a suburban neighbourhood. They parked their truck at the end of the alley and worked their way to the other end. At the last house a woman looking out her kitchen window watched the two men as they...	rockylizard	1	719	12:35 PM Jan 30, 2014 by Bryan
	The Backing of The Van (Preview) Backing The Van All around this wide brown country there are delights you all should knowand to see it all should be a lasting plan.I've seen a few weird things myself but the best Ive every seenis when a poor old nomad tries to back his van. No matter where you strike them from the Cape to Hobart to...	Eagle	0	697	07:13 AM Jan 30, 2014 by Eagle
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