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TRUE BLUE AUSSIE'S
(Preview)
The way we do it in Australia!!!!!!!! This morning I was in luck and was able to buy two boxes of VB beer cheap at the local supermarket. I placed the boxes on the front seat and headed back home. I stopped at a service station where a drop-dead gorgeous blonde in a short skirt was filling up her car at the ne...
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justcruisin01
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1
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641
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Old timers bar- all drinks 10 cents.
(Preview)
A Mate sent me this today, had to chuckle. Four old guys are walking down a street in Maroochydore. They turned a corner and see a sign that says, Old Timer's Bar - all drinks 10 cents! They look at each other, and then go in, thinking this is too good to be true. The old barman says in a voice that...
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Santa
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0
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633
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New Boots
(Preview)
A woman goes out shopping with her husband and spots a pair of boots she loves. The husband says, "No chance, love, they're way too expensive" Later on, in bed, the wife is just falling asleep, when the husband tries his luck and places his hand on her hip and then lower on to her thigh. She t...
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reglynn
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0
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732
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Blondes & Frozen Crabs
(Preview)
A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans , with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde stewardess to take care of them for him. She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator. He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning in a ve...
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reglynn
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0
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650
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DONT YOU lOVE ME ?
(Preview)
Husband: Oh, come on. Wife: Leave me alone! Husband: It won't take long. Wife: I won't be able to sleep afterwards. Husband: I can't sleep without it. Wife: Why do you think of things like this in the middle of the night? Husband: Because I'm hot. Wife : You get hot at the darnedest tim...
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sarg
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2
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673
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A Truckies Breakfast
(Preview)
A nasty and mean looking truckiecame into a Truck Stop Cafeand placed his order.He said,'I want three flat tires,a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards.'The brand new blonde waitress,not wanting to appear stupid,went to the kitchen and said to the cook, 'This guy out there just ordered...
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reglynn
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1
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607
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Rrriiiiinnnnggg, rrriiiinnnngg!
(Preview)
Rrriiiiinnnnggg, rrriiiinnnngg!Rrriiiiinnnnggg, rrriiiinnnngg,** **'Hello?'** **'Hi honey.****This is Daddy.** **Is Mommy near the phone?'** **'No, Daddy.** **She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Gabe.'** **After a brief pause,** **Daddy says,** **'But honey, you haven't got an Un...
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justcruisin01
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1
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691
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5 OLD LADIES;
(Preview)
5 OLDER LADIES Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 KPH. Says he to himself: "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices...
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justcruisin01
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1
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651
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Two Irish Nuns
(Preview)
Two Irish nuns have just arrived in USA by boat, and one says to the other, "I hear that the people in this country actually eat dogs." "Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America , we might as well do as the Americans do." As they sit, they hear...
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Hurls
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1
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521
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On a Dark & Stormy Night
(Preview)
Bob Hill and his new wife Betty were vacationing in Europe.....as it happens, near Transylvania . They were driving in a rental car along a rather deserted highway. It was late and raining very hard. Bob could barely see the road in front of the car. Suddenly, the car skids out of control! Bob att...
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Hurls
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3
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661
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Barter - Aussie Style
(Preview)
This morning I was in luck and was able to buy two cartons of Victoria Bitter beer cheap at the local supermarket. I placed the boxes on the front seat and headed back home. I stopped at a service station for fuel where a drop-dead gorgeous blonde in a short skirt was filling up her car at the next pump. Sh...
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Hurls
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1
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611
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IRISH BIRTH CONTROL;
(Preview)
Irish Birth Control Mrs. Donovan was walking down O'Connell Street in Dublin when she met Father Flaherty. The Father said, 'Top o' the mornin' to ye! Aren't ye Mrs. Donovan and didn't I marry ye and yer hoosband two years ago?' She replied, 'Aye, that ye did, Father.' The Father asked, 'And be ther...
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justcruisin01
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0
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799
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DOCTOR DOCTOR!
(Preview)
A doctor in St John's Newfoundland wanted to get off work and go hunting, so he approached his janitor. "I am goin' huntin' tomorrow Buddy and don't want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of all my patients and I'll give you fifty bucks." "Yes, si...
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justcruisin01
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0
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613
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Married 4 Times
(Preview)
The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she had just gotten married for the fourth time. The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband's occupation. "He's a funeral director,&q...
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Hurls
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0
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547
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Resetting your password
(Preview)
Sorry, your password has been in use for 30 days and has expired - you must register a new one." roses "Sorry, too few characters." pretty roses "Sorry, you must use at least one numerical character." 1 pretty rose "Sorry, you cannot use blank spaces." ...
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Hurls
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0
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540
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Two Wooodpeckers
(Preview)
*Two Woodpeckers* This Mexican woodpecker and a Canadian woodpecker were inMexico arguing about which country had the toughest trees. The Mexican woodpecker claimed Mexico had a tree that no woodpecker could peck. T The Canadian woodpecker accepted his challenge and promptly pecked a hole in t...
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Hurls
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450
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light up your life ..
(Preview)
My budgie broke his leg today so I made him a little splint out of a couple of redhead matches. His little face lit up when he tried to walk .. Unfortunately, I had forgotten to remove the sandpaper from the bottom of his cage. -- Edited by Jonathan on Tuesday 3rd of December 2013 08:15:16 PM
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Jonathan
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521
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PADDY IS BACK
(Preview)
Two Irishmen were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up. A blonde walks by and asked them what they were doing. Paddy replied, 'We're supposed to be finding the height of this flagpole, but we don't have a ladder.' The blonde took out an...
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sarg
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587
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Wullie McTavish
(Preview)
Edinburgh man Wullie McTavish is on his deathbed, knows the end is near, is with the nurse, his wife, his daughter and 2 sons. "So", he says to them: "Bernie, I want you to take the Braid Hills houses." "Sybil, take the flats over in Morningside and Bruntsfield." &quo...
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sarg
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0
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948
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BEAR INTERRUPTS PHOTO SHOOT
(Preview)
BEAR INTERRUPTS PHOTO SHOOT Bloody dangerous place Canada... the bears are huge and very curious...see what happens when a huge brown bear decides to take a closer look at a film shoot for a washing machine... http://www.youtube.com/embed/eryxAcsTcOA?rel=0 Guns.
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Gunsondeck
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3
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1678
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