Just Joking

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

Lubricant Murphy's' old lady had been pregnant for some time and now the time had come. He brought her to the doctor and the doctor began to deliver the baby. She had a little boy, and the doctor looked over at Murphy and said. 'Hey, Murph! You just had you a son,! 'Ain't dat grand,' Murphy got excited by th...

JayDee · JayDee

A couple were Christmas shopping. The shopping centre was packed As the wife walked through one of the malls she was surprised when she looked around to find that her husband was nowhere to be seen. She was quite upset because they had a lot to do. She became so worried that she called him on her mobile ph...

Hendo · Hendo

Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son. "Wake up son, it's time to go to school!" "But why, Mum? I don't want to go." "Give me two good reasons why you don't want to go." "Well the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me too!" "Oh, that...

Hendo · Hendo

- You haven't played solitare with a real deck of cards for years. - You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three - You text your son's phone to let him know it is time for dinner. He emails you back from his bedroom "Whats for dinner?" - You chat several times a day with someone...

sarg · sarg

Paddy says to Mick Christmas is on Friday this year". Mick said "Let's hope it's not the 13th then". -- This year, I hosted Christmas Dinner for family, far and wide, and everyone was encouraged to bring all the children and grandchildren as well. During dinner, my four-year-old gra...

rockylizard · rockylizard

sarg · sarg

The four stages of life: 1) You believe in Santa Claus; 2) You don't believe in Santa Claus; 3) You are Santa Claus; 4) You look like Santa Claus............Well some of us anyway...

sarg · sarg

I asked the wife what she wanted for Christmas. "A divorce" she said. "I wasn't thinking of spending that much" I told her...

HOOK · HOOK

HOOK · HOOK

HOOK · HOOK

bridget · bridget

W hile conducting some business at the Courthouse, I overheard a lady, who had been arrested for assaulting a Mammogram Technician, say, "Your Honor, I'm guilty but, there were extenuating circumstances."The female Judge said, sarcastically, "I'd certainly like to hear tho...

sarg · sarg

I recently spent $14,500 on a young registered Black Angus bull. I put him out with the herd but he just ate grass and wouldn't even look at a cow. I was beginning to think I had paid more for that bull than he was worth. Anyhow, I had the Vet come and have a look at him. He said the bull was very healthy, but p...

Hurls · Hurls

THE TAX SYSTEM EXPLAINED IN BEER Suppose that once a week, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to £100. If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this. The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing. The fifth would pay £1. The sixth would pay £3. The se...

Joe50 · Joe50

A man is alone in an airport lounge. A beautiful woman walks in and sit down at the table next to him.He decides because she's wearing a uniform, she's probably an off-duty flight attendant.So he decides to have a go at picking her up by identifying the airline she flies for, thereby impressing her grea...

Hendo · Hendo

"Walk with me while I age" , I hope this poem has the same effect on you as it did on me - then my sharing it will be well worth the effort A beautiful poem about growing older. ...... F*#&K ... I forgot the words.

copper1 · copper1

T'was the night before Christmas, and three men arrived at the 'Pearly Gates'. St Peter said, "Being the time of year, to grant entry, you have to show me something that represents Christmas." The first guy steps up, and pulls a few leaves out of his pocket. St Peter, "What is that?&qu...

johnno48 · johnno48

http://www.cilinsurance.com.au/about-cil/caravan-rv-news/cil%E2%80%99s-funniest-caravanning-moments

Hurls · Hurls

He spent the first day following his divorce packing his belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases. On the second day, he had the movers come and collect his things. On the third day, he sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candle-light, put on some soft background mus...

rockylizard · rockylizard

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	LUBRICANT; (Preview) Lubricant Murphy's' old lady had been pregnant for some time and now the time had come. He brought her to the doctor and the doctor began to deliver the baby. She had a little boy, and the doctor looked over at Murphy and said. 'Hey, Murph! You just had you a son,! 'Ain't dat grand,' Murphy got excited by th...	justcruisin01	1	666	07:25 PM Dec 28, 2013 by mongrel
	Spirit of Xmas (Preview) A couple were Christmas shopping. The shopping centre was packed As the wife walked through one of the malls she was surprised when she looked around to find that her husband was nowhere to be seen. She was quite upset because they had a lot to do. She became so worried that she called him on her mobile ph...	JayDee	1	523	05:04 PM Dec 28, 2013 by sherbert
	Time for School (Preview) Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son. "Wake up son, it's time to go to school!" "But why, Mum? I don't want to go." "Give me two good reasons why you don't want to go." "Well the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me too!" "Oh, that...	Hendo	0	602	12:55 PM Dec 27, 2013 by Hendo
	Signs of a Hi-Tech Person (Preview) - You haven't played solitare with a real deck of cards for years. - You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three - You text your son's phone to let him know it is time for dinner. He emails you back from his bedroom "Whats for dinner?" - You chat several times a day with someone...	Hendo	5	710	12:46 PM Dec 27, 2013 by Hendo
	Christmas (Preview) Paddy says to Mick Christmas is on Friday this year". Mick said "Let's hope it's not the 13th then". -- This year, I hosted Christmas Dinner for family, far and wide, and everyone was encouraged to bring all the children and grandchildren as well. During dinner, my four-year-old gra...	sarg	1	636	07:55 AM Dec 27, 2013 by Rip and Rosie
	---- (Preview)	rockylizard	0	393	10:14 PM Dec 26, 2013 by rockylizard
	THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE (Preview) The four stages of life: 1) You believe in Santa Claus; 2) You don't believe in Santa Claus; 3) You are Santa Claus; 4) You look like Santa Claus............Well some of us anyway...	sarg	0	642	08:16 PM Dec 26, 2013 by sarg
	Christmas wish (Preview) I asked the wife what she wanted for Christmas. "A divorce" she said. "I wasn't thinking of spending that much" I told her...	sarg	0	418	08:13 PM Dec 26, 2013 by sarg
	Bringin' sexy back (Preview)	HOOK	0	660	08:09 PM Dec 25, 2013 by HOOK
	I wish you'd put your things away Arthur. (Preview)	HOOK	0	661	11:45 AM Dec 25, 2013 by HOOK
	I never saw the signs. (Preview)	HOOK	0	571	11:44 AM Dec 25, 2013 by HOOK
	Guilty as charged ....but there were EXTENUATING CIRCUMSTANCES (Preview) W hile conducting some business at the Courthouse, I overheard a lady, who had been arrested for assaulting a Mammogram Technician, say, "Your Honor, I'm guilty but, there were extenuating circumstances."The female Judge said, sarcastically, "I'd certainly like to hear tho...	bridget	1	739	12:45 PM Dec 25, 2013 by Ontos45
	THE BULL (Preview) I recently spent $14,500 on a young registered Black Angus bull. I put him out with the herd but he just ate grass and wouldn't even look at a cow. I was beginning to think I had paid more for that bull than he was worth. Anyhow, I had the Vet come and have a look at him. He said the bull was very healthy, but p...	sarg	3	686	12:39 PM Dec 25, 2013 by Ontos45
	The Tax System Explained in Beer - as it should be!! (Preview) THE TAX SYSTEM EXPLAINED IN BEER Suppose that once a week, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to £100. If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this. The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing. The fifth would pay £1. The sixth would pay £3. The se...	Hurls	1	1290	12:34 PM Dec 25, 2013 by Ontos45
	Which airline? (Preview) A man is alone in an airport lounge. A beautiful woman walks in and sit down at the table next to him.He decides because she's wearing a uniform, she's probably an off-duty flight attendant.So he decides to have a go at picking her up by identifying the airline she flies for, thereby impressing her grea...	Joe50	1	1094	12:30 PM Dec 25, 2013 by Ontos45
	Walk with me while I age (Preview) "Walk with me while I age" , I hope this poem has the same effect on you as it did on me - then my sharing it will be well worth the effort A beautiful poem about growing older. ...... F*#&K ... I forgot the words.	Hendo	2	928	12:28 PM Dec 25, 2013 by Ontos45
	Pearly Gates before Christmas (Preview) T'was the night before Christmas, and three men arrived at the 'Pearly Gates'. St Peter said, "Being the time of year, to grant entry, you have to show me something that represents Christmas." The first guy steps up, and pulls a few leaves out of his pocket. St Peter, "What is that?&qu...	copper1	0	632	07:55 PM Dec 24, 2013 by copper1
	Here are a few CIL insurance funnies (Preview) http://www.cilinsurance.com.au/about-cil/caravan-rv-news/cil%E2%80%99s-funniest-caravanning-moments	johnno48	2	953	12:57 PM Dec 24, 2013 by mongrel
	The Divorce (Preview) He spent the first day following his divorce packing his belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases. On the second day, he had the movers come and collect his things. On the third day, he sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candle-light, put on some soft background mus...	Hurls	3	1145	06:54 AM Dec 24, 2013 by peterblack
	... (Preview)	rockylizard	0	532	07:06 PM Dec 23, 2013 by rockylizard
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