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Stopped By The Police At 2AM
(Preview)
An elderly man was stopped by the police around 2 a.m and was asked where he was going at that time of night. The man replied, "I'm on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late." The officer then asked, "Really? W...
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Vic41
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0
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672
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Smile, but you are not on Candid Camera.
(Preview)
I think that this is a classic and should get the nod from all concerned..... Not sure if it has been posted before. Making a baby. . . This is hilarious! There is not one dirty word in it, and it is funny! The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their fam...
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JayDee
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2
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657
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English Stiff Upper Lip
(Preview)
On a train from London to Manchester taking people to the Ashes cricket match, an Australian was berating the Englishman sitting across the compartment from him. "You English are too stuffy. You set yourselves apart too much. You think your stiff upper lip makes you above the rest...
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Vic41
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0
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646
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Honesty is always the best policy ... right?
(Preview)
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D and D
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2
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626
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BIBLE SALES;
(Preview)
A pastor concluded that his church was getting into very serious financial troubles. While checking the church storeroom, he discovered several cartons of new Bibles that had never been opened and distributed. So at his Sunday sermon, he asked for three volunteers from the congregation who wou...
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justcruisin01
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1
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703
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Dr Smith
(Preview)
A flat-chested young lady went to Dr Smith about enlarging her breasts. Dr Smith advised her, 'Every day after your shower, rub your chest and say, 'Scooby doobie doobies, I want bigger boobies!' She did this faithfully f...
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sarg
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1
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593
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THE ARNOTT'S BISCUIT STORY.
(Preview)
THE ARNOTT'S BISCUIT STORY. Mr. "Monte Carlo" was a fresh biscuit, He took Mrs "Vo Vo" for a "Morning Coffee". He put his hand on her "Milky Way" And she thought it was "Nice" But when he put his "Scotch Finger" On her "Date Slic...
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sarg
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2
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2994
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A teenage boy had just passed his driving test
(Preview)
A teenage boy had just passed his driving test and inquired of his father as to when they could discuss his use of the car.His father said he'd make a deal with his son, "You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little, and get your hair cut. Then we'll talk about the car."...
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rosco532
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0
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530
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Hell0, hello.
(Preview)
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A mobile phone rings and a man engages the hands-free function and begins to talk. Man: "Hello". Woman"Hi, honey, it's me. Are you at the club?" Man: "Yes". Woman: "I'm at the shops and have found a beautiful leat...
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Pard
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0
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549
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How not to get off to a good start at your wedding...
(Preview)
http://happyplace.someecards.com/4110/bridal-dress-skidmark-causes-drunken-brawl-at-scottish-wedding-reception
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petengail
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1
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703
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Where should I post
(Preview)
Ummmmm! . Should I post it here or post it there? . its not really a joke, just a humorous storyumm, so should I post it there. Maybe I should post it in both, that way Ill be half right, maybe half wrong damn being a GN is tougher than I thought! Dear Benefits Person, My name is Charles Wright and I live in Cab...
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Hendo
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5
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850
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MMMMMMMMMM That Far Back LOL
(Preview)
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copper1
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0
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576
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Nag, Nag, Nag
(Preview)
An attorney arrived home late, after a very tough day trying to get a stay of execution. His last minute plea for clemency to the governor had failed and he was feeling worn out and depressed. As soon as he walked through the door at home, his wife started on him about, 'What time of night to be getting home...
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copper1
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0
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699
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Wonder if this is my Ex's new partner.
(Preview)
A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation in Jerusalem . While they were there, the wife passed away . The undertaker told the husband, "You can have her buried here in the Holy Land for $150 or we can have her shipped back home for $5,000 . The husband thought about it and told the undertaker h...
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Woolly
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0
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587
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Paddy 4
(Preview)
Paddy says to Mick - I'm ready for a holiday, only this year I'm going to do it a bit different. 3 years ago I went to Spain and Mary got pregnant. 2 years ago I went to Italy and Mary got pregnant. Last year I went to Majorca and Mary got pregnant." Mick asks - So what are you going to do this year?."...
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sarg
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0
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576
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paddy 3
(Preview)
A coach load of paddies on a mystery tour decided to run a sweepstake to guess where they were going..... the driver won £52!
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sarg
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0
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535
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A DAY AT THE RACES;
(Preview)
Two female teachers took a group of students from grades 1, 2 and 3 for a field trip to Flemington Racecourse. When it was time to take the children to the 'bathroom', it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other. The teacher assigned to the boys was waiting o...
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justcruisin01
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2
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629
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MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME # 2
(Preview)
My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION - "Stop acting like your father!" My mother taught me about ENVY - "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!" My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION - "Just w...
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Hendo
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0
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505
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MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME
(Preview)
My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE - "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning!" My mother taught me RELIGION - "You better pray that will come out of the carpet." My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL - "If you don't straighte...
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Hendo
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4
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1008
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When cough medicine was medicine
(Preview)
And they complain now about us having too much sugar...... Damn picture won't load...sorry -- Edited by Ontos45 on Sunday 19th of January 2014 12:58:11 PM
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Ontos45
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0
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565
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