Just Joking

copper1 · copper1

Angela Merkel the German PM arrives at Passport Control at Paris Charles De Gaulle airport. "Nationality?" asks the immigration officer. "German," she replies. ... "Occupation?" "No; just here for a few days." Hope she had her mobile phone as well...

copper1 · copper1

Little Johnnys Dad buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie. He decides to test it out at dinner on the first night. Dad asks Little Johnny what he did that afternoon.... Johnny says, "I did some schoolwork." The robot slaps Johnny. Johnny says, "Okay, okay. I was at a f...

jules47 · jules47

A nun gets into a cab, and the cab driver won't stop staring at her. Finally, the cabbie says, "I have a question to ask you, but I don't want to offend you." "My dear son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything."... "...

sarg · sarg

I hope that you get this one ok Gary Mick and Paddy had promised their Uncle Seamus, who had been a seafaring gent all his life,to bury him at sea when he died. Of course, in due time, he did pass away and the boys kept their promise. They set off with Uncle Seamus all stitched up in a burial bag and loaded on...

Aus-Kiwi · Aus-Kiwi

For those who haven't heard, Washington State just passed two new laws - gay marriage and legalised marijuana. The fact that gay marriage and marijuana were legalised on the same day makes perfect biblical sense because Leviticus 20:13 says "If a man lies with another man they should be stoned...

Aus-Kiwi · Aus-Kiwi

Just imagine... If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Air New Zealand one year ago, you would have $49.00 today. If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in the AA one year ago, you would have $33.00 today.If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Canterbury Finance one year ago,you would have $0.00 to...

copper1 · copper1

Mick and Paddy are reading head stones at a nearby cemetery. Mick says "Crikey! There's a bloke here who was 152!" Paddy says "What's his name?" Mick replies "Miles, from Sydney."

Gunsondeck · Gunsondeck

A sexually active middle aged woman informed her plastic surgeon that she wanted her vaginal lips reduced in size because, over the years they have become loose and floppy. Out of embarrassment, she insisted that the surgery be kept secret and, of course, the surgeon agreed. Awakening from the anes...

Hurls · Hurls

T-SHIRT A blonde goes over to her friend's house wearing a T.G.I.F. Tee-shirt. 'Why are you wearing a 'Thank God It's Friday' tee-shirt on Monday?' 'Oh crap!' the blonde says. 'I didn't realize it was a religious T-shirt. I thought it meant 'Tits Go In Front.''

chaslib · chaslib

Apologies if you have seen this one ... A Blonde goes to Heaven. An Aussie Blonde was sent on her way to Heaven. Upon arrival, a concerned St Peter met her at the Pearly Gates. 'I'm sorry, 'St Peter said; 'But Heaven is suffering from an overload of godly souls and we have been forced to put up an En...

copper1 · copper1

A man was driving along the highway, and saw a rabbit hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the rabbit, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of the car and was hit. The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side of the road and got o...

sarg · sarg

The Australian National University in the ACT did a study on dead crows found along the Monaro Highway and after a 3 year study they determined that the following information collected was the major cause of death......... The cause of death appeared to be vehicular impacts. However, during t...

gerard gue · gerard gue

Daddy's car in the woods? Little Johnny watched his daddy's car pass by the school playground and go into the woods.Curious, he followed the car and saw Daddy and Aunt Jane in a Passionate embrace. Little Johnny found this so exciting that he could hardly contain himself as he ran home and Started t...

sarg · sarg

Catholic, a Protestant, a Muslim and a Jew were in a discussion during a dinner. Catholic: "I have a large fortune. I am going to buy Citibank!" Protestant: "I am very wealthy and will buy General Motors!" Muslim: "I am a fabulously rich prince. I intend to purchase Micro...

sarg · sarg

The mother-in-law arrives home from shopping to find her son-in-law boiling angry and hurriedly packing his suitcase. "What happened?" she asks anxiously. "What happened!! I'll tell you what happened. I sent an e-mail to my wife telling her I was coming home today from my fishin...

copper1 · copper1

copper1 · copper1

A crusty old marine corps colonel found himself at a gala event downtown, hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young, idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the colonel for conversation. She said, "Excuse me, sir, but you seem to be a very s...

copper1 · copper1

In pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and a generic name. For example, the trade name of Tylenol has a generic name of acetaminophen. Aleve is also called naproxen. Amoxil is called amoxicillin and Advil is also called ibuprofen. The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra...

copper1 · copper1

Why did Beethoven kill his chicken? It kept saying ''Bach, Bach, Bach...''

copper1 · copper1

BTW - Bring the Wheelchair FWIW - Forgot Where I Was LMDO - Laughing My Dentures Out WTFA - Wet the Furniture Again

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	German PM (Preview) Angela Merkel the German PM arrives at Passport Control at Paris Charles De Gaulle airport. "Nationality?" asks the immigration officer. "German," she replies. ... "Occupation?" "No; just here for a few days." Hope she had her mobile phone as well...	copper1	3	810	05:51 PM Oct 29, 2013 by 2weis
	Little Johnny (Preview) Little Johnnys Dad buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie. He decides to test it out at dinner on the first night. Dad asks Little Johnny what he did that afternoon.... Johnny says, "I did some schoolwork." The robot slaps Johnny. Johnny says, "Okay, okay. I was at a f...	copper1	2	778	05:06 PM Oct 29, 2013 by Wombat 280
	The Cab Driver (Preview) A nun gets into a cab, and the cab driver won't stop staring at her. Finally, the cabbie says, "I have a question to ask you, but I don't want to offend you." "My dear son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything."... "...	jules47	1	668	04:37 PM Oct 29, 2013 by GaryKelly
	Irish Burial at Sea‏ (Preview) I hope that you get this one ok Gary Mick and Paddy had promised their Uncle Seamus, who had been a seafaring gent all his life,to bury him at sea when he died. Of course, in due time, he did pass away and the boys kept their promise. They set off with Uncle Seamus all stitched up in a burial bag and loaded on...	sarg	2	700	04:34 PM Oct 29, 2013 by GaryKelly
	Only in U.S.. (Preview) For those who haven't heard, Washington State just passed two new laws - gay marriage and legalised marijuana. The fact that gay marriage and marijuana were legalised on the same day makes perfect biblical sense because Leviticus 20:13 says "If a man lies with another man they should be stoned...	Aus-Kiwi	0	467	06:58 AM Oct 29, 2013 by Aus-Kiwi
	Financial advise the kiwi way (Preview) Just imagine... If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Air New Zealand one year ago, you would have $49.00 today. If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in the AA one year ago, you would have $33.00 today.If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Canterbury Finance one year ago,you would have $0.00 to...	Aus-Kiwi	0	588	06:53 AM Oct 29, 2013 by Aus-Kiwi
	Mick and Paddy (Preview) Mick and Paddy are reading head stones at a nearby cemetery. Mick says "Crikey! There's a bloke here who was 152!" Paddy says "What's his name?" Mick replies "Miles, from Sydney."	copper1	0	503	05:30 AM Oct 29, 2013 by copper1
	Ear, Ear... (Preview) A sexually active middle aged woman informed her plastic surgeon that she wanted her vaginal lips reduced in size because, over the years they have become loose and floppy. Out of embarrassment, she insisted that the surgery be kept secret and, of course, the surgeon agreed. Awakening from the anes...	Gunsondeck	0	623	06:51 PM Oct 28, 2013 by Gunsondeck
	TGIF (Preview) T-SHIRT A blonde goes over to her friend's house wearing a T.G.I.F. Tee-shirt. 'Why are you wearing a 'Thank God It's Friday' tee-shirt on Monday?' 'Oh crap!' the blonde says. 'I didn't realize it was a religious T-shirt. I thought it meant 'Tits Go In Front.''	Hurls	1	597	01:45 AM Oct 29, 2013 by mongrel
	A blond goes to heaven .... (Preview) Apologies if you have seen this one ... A Blonde goes to Heaven. An Aussie Blonde was sent on her way to Heaven. Upon arrival, a concerned St Peter met her at the Pearly Gates. 'I'm sorry, 'St Peter said; 'But Heaven is suffering from an overload of godly souls and we have been forced to put up an En...	chaslib	0	638	06:12 PM Oct 28, 2013 by chaslib
	Rabbit Resuscitation... (Preview) A man was driving along the highway, and saw a rabbit hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the rabbit, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of the car and was hit. The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side of the road and got o...	copper1	0	581	06:01 PM Oct 28, 2013 by copper1
	Crows [important study] (Preview) The Australian National University in the ACT did a study on dead crows found along the Monaro Highway and after a 3 year study they determined that the following information collected was the major cause of death......... The cause of death appeared to be vehicular impacts. However, during t...	sarg	1	710	05:50 PM Oct 28, 2013 by jules47
	Out of the mouths of babes (Preview) Daddy's car in the woods? Little Johnny watched his daddy's car pass by the school playground and go into the woods.Curious, he followed the car and saw Daddy and Aunt Jane in a Passionate embrace. Little Johnny found this so exciting that he could hardly contain himself as he ran home and Started t...	gerard gue	0	393	02:09 AM Oct 28, 2013 by gerard gue
	JEWISH MODESTY (Preview) Catholic, a Protestant, a Muslim and a Jew were in a discussion during a dinner. Catholic: "I have a large fortune. I am going to buy Citibank!" Protestant: "I am very wealthy and will buy General Motors!" Muslim: "I am a fabulously rich prince. I intend to purchase Micro...	sarg	0	444	01:19 AM Oct 28, 2013 by sarg
	The Helpful Mother-in-law‏ (Preview) The mother-in-law arrives home from shopping to find her son-in-law boiling angry and hurriedly packing his suitcase. "What happened?" she asks anxiously. "What happened!! I'll tell you what happened. I sent an e-mail to my wife telling her I was coming home today from my fishin...	sarg	0	555	01:14 AM Oct 28, 2013 by sarg
	Jesus drove a Honda (Preview)	copper1	4	736	04:57 AM Oct 28, 2013 by Bryan
	No Sex Since 1955 (Preview) A crusty old marine corps colonel found himself at a gala event downtown, hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young, idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the colonel for conversation. She said, "Excuse me, sir, but you seem to be a very s...	copper1	3	732	01:53 AM Oct 28, 2013 by sarg
	Viagra (Preview) In pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and a generic name. For example, the trade name of Tylenol has a generic name of acetaminophen. Aleve is also called naproxen. Amoxil is called amoxicillin and Advil is also called ibuprofen. The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra...	copper1	3	768	01:51 AM Oct 28, 2013 by sarg
	Beethoven's Chicken (Preview) Why did Beethoven kill his chicken? It kept saying ''Bach, Bach, Bach...''	copper1	1	616	01:44 AM Oct 28, 2013 by sarg
	SMS codes for seniors: (Preview) BTW - Bring the Wheelchair FWIW - Forgot Where I Was LMDO - Laughing My Dentures Out WTFA - Wet the Furniture Again	copper1	1	637	11:48 PM Oct 26, 2013 by Keith19837
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