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Ya gotta luv the Irish...
(Preview)
Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, 'Do you want to go to heaven?' The man said, 'I do, Father.' The priest said, 'Then stand over there against the wall.' Then the priest asked the second man, 'Do you want to go to heaven?' 'Certainly, Father,' was the man's reply...
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rockylizard
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0
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719
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Balls
(Preview)
The game of choice for unemployed people or maintenance level workers is basketball. The game of choice for frontline workers is football. The game of choice for middle management is tennis. The game of choice for CEOs and executives is golf. Conclusion: The higher up on the corporate ladder you are...
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Hendo
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5
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954
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Nature does care...
(Preview)
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rockylizard
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0
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617
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Sartorial Elegance?
(Preview)
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rockylizard
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0
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608
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Just Two
(Preview)
A British Engineer just started his own business in Afghanistan. Hes making land mines that look like prayer mats. Its doing well. He says prophets are going through the roof. A ringer from a huge cattle station in outback Australia appeared before Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates. Have you ever done...
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Hendo
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0
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646
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Army Life
(Preview)
Text of a letter from a kid from Eromanga to Mum and Dad. (For those of you not in the know, Eromanga is a small town, west of Quilpie in the far south west of Queensland ) Dear Mum & Dad, I am well. Hope youse are too. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better than workin' on the station - tel...
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Hendo
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2
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925
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Some humor
(Preview)
Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and Family values. Bill said, 'I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?' Larry replied, 'I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?' ___________________________________________ A little boy went up to his father an...
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2foot6
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0
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865
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Infidelity....
(Preview)
Ron received the following text from his neighbour:"I am so sorry Ron. I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess. I have been tapping into your wife, day and night when you're not around. I'm not getting it at home, but that's no excuse.I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will...
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Vic41
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0
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728
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JOKE ENJOY!
(Preview)
A lawyer and a senior citizen are sitting next to each other on a long flight. The lawyer is thinking that seniors are so dumb that he could get one over on them easily. So, the lawyer asks if the senior would like to play a fun game. The senior is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines a...
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aussie_paul
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0
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698
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Motor home
(Preview)
A blonde goes into a coffee shop and notices there's a 'peel and win' sticker on her coffee cup. So she peels it off and starts screaming, 'I've won a motorhome! I've won a motorhome!'The waitress says, 'That's impossible. The biggest prizeis a free Lunch.' But the blonde keeps on screaming, I'...
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justcruisin01
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1
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1050
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Golf Club Sign
(Preview)
This is an actual sign at a golf club in Scotland 1. BACK STRAIGHT, KNEES BENT2. FEET SHOULDER WIDTH APART3. FORM A LOOSE GRIP4. KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN!5. STAY OUT OF THE WATER.6. TRY NOT TO HIT ANYONE.7. IF YOU ARE TAKING TOO LONG. ALLOW OTHERS AHEAD OF YOU8. DON'T STAND DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF OTHERS.9. QUI...
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Hurls
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1
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1158
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MY FIRST TIME
(Preview)
I recall my first time with a condom. I was 16. I went in to buy a packet of condoms. In those days it took a lot of guts to go in a store and ask for that kind of item because everyone in town knew me and there was no doubt the young lady (I think her name was Delores) knew what they were for.She was working as an as...
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sarg
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0
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734
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Wise Chinese Doctor
(Preview)
Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true? A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it.. Don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to li...
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Vic41
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2
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1115
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New CEO
(Preview)
If you've ever worked for a boss who reacts before getting the facts And thinking things through, you will love this! Arcelor-Mittal Steel, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hired a new CEO. The new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers. On a tour of the facilities, the CEO...
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Gunsondeck
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1
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770
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That sounds Irish!
(Preview)
SIGN by the river Shannon:When this notice is under water it is unsafe to cross the river at this point. STERILITY is hereditary. If your parents and grandparents didnt have any children, the chances are you wont either. BRIDGET once entered a competition to predict the final score in an All-Irela...
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BriVee
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0
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712
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Mother's Milk
(Preview)
Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their mid-term exam. The last question was, 'Name seven advantages of Mother's Milk.' The question was worth 70 points or none at all. One student, in particular, was hard put to think of seven advantages However, he wrote: 1) It is perfect formula f...
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sarg
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0
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741
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Seniors Deodorant....
(Preview)
I got a new stick deodorant today. The instructions said: "Remove cap and push up bottom." I can barely walk, but whenever I fart, the room smells lovely.
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Vic41
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0
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1278
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Bears
(Preview)
A man in northern Minnesota woke up one morning to find a bear on his roof. He looked in the Yellow Pages, and sure enough, there was an ad for "Up North Bear Removers." He called the number listed and the bear remover said he'd be over within an hour. The bear remover arrived, and got out...
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sarg
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1
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603
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Perth In Summer...
(Preview)
You know you're in a Perth summer when:1. The best parking space is determined by shade instead of distance. 2. Hot water comes out of both taps. 3. You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron. 4. The temperature drops below 35c and you feel a little chilly. 5. You discover that i...
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Vic41
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0
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658
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London Flooding.
(Preview)
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Vic41
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0
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636
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