|
found at mental hospital
(Preview)
After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He t...
|
Baz421
|
0
|
635
|
|
|
|
|
THE MEETING
(Preview)
General Norman Schwarzkopf was asked if he thought there was room for forgiveness toward the people who have harbored and abetted the terrorists who perpetrated the 9/11 attacks on America. His answer was classic Schwarzkopf. The General said: I believe that forgiving them is God's function. OUR...
|
Baz421
|
0
|
528
|
|
|
|
|
Password
(Preview)
A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer. The husband puts, "Mypenis," and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says, "Error. Not long enough."
|
copper1
|
0
|
502
|
|
|
|
|
A touching story...
(Preview)
As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my...
|
Gunsondeck
|
0
|
612
|
|
|
|
|
Melbourne Cup Joke
(Preview)
Riding the favourite in the Melbourne Cup, the jockey is well ahead of the field. Suddenly hes hit on the head by a frozen turkey and a string of sausages. He manages to keep control of his mount and pulls back into the lead, only to be struck by a box of Christmas crackers and a dozen mince pies as they rou...
|
copper1
|
0
|
2233
|
|
|
|
|
Very Touching
(Preview)
VERY TOUCHING One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the road-side eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and got out to investigate. He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?" "We don't have any money for food," the poor m...
|
Hurls
|
2
|
682
|
|
|
|
|
THIS IS WHY WE LOVE OLD PEOPLE
(Preview)
A farmer stopped by the local mechanics shop to have his truck fixed. They couldn't do it while he waited, so he said he didn't live far and would just walk home. On the way home he stopped at the Hardware Store and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint. He then stopped by the feed store and picked up a coup...
|
Hurls
|
0
|
666
|
|
|
|
|
Puddy tat
(Preview)
|
copper1
|
0
|
594
|
|
|
|
|
Claude the Hypnotist!
(Preview)
It was entertainment night at the senior citizens' centre.After the community sing song led by Cheryl at the piano it was time for the Star of the Show-Claude the Hypnotist! Claude explained that he was going to put the whole audience into a trance. "Yes, each and every one of you and all at the s...
|
Old Crofter
|
1
|
748
|
|
|
|
|
Scottish Copper
(Preview)
London lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a Glasgow copper.He thinks that he is smarter than the cop because he is a lawyer fromLONDON and is certain that he has a better education than any Jock cop.He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the Glasgow cops expense!! Gl...
|
Hurls
|
1
|
662
|
|
|
|
|
BBQ Rules
(Preview)
PLEASE OBSERVE THIS IS A VERY VERY IMPORTANT NOTICE! Standard Operating Procedures released today please learn We are about to enter the BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity . When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the...
|
Hurls
|
1
|
795
|
|
|
|
|
A romantic walk down the aisle
(Preview)
I'll never forget how happy I was when I saw my girlfriend walking down the aisle towards me.............. My heart was beating fast and the excitement was unbearable. It seemed to take an age, but eventually there she was, standing beside me. I gave her a loving smile and said, "Get that troll...
|
Gunsondeck
|
1
|
672
|
|
|
|
|
Snow in Barbados
(Preview)
A lady goes on holiday to Barbados ...... Upon arriving, she meets a black man, and after a night of passionate love making she asks him, "What is your name?" "I can't tell you" the black man says. Every night they meet and every night she asks him again what his name is and he alwa...
|
Hurls
|
0
|
530
|
|
|
|
|
The importance of having an occupation after retirement.
(Preview)
The importance of having an occupation after retirement. As we get older we sometimes begin to doubt our abilityto "make a difference" in the world. It is at these times that our hopes are boosted by the remarkable achievements of other "seniors" who have foundthe courage to t...
|
Gunsondeck
|
0
|
660
|
|
|
|
|
A DRUNK STORY
(Preview)
A drunken man walks into a biker bar, sits down at the bar and orders a drink. Looking around, he sees three men sitting at a corner table. He gets up, staggers to the table, leans over, looks the biggest, meanest, biker in the face and says: 'I went by your grandma's house today and I saw her in the hallway b...
|
sherbert
|
0
|
637
|
|
|
|
|
Babies
(Preview)
If it take,s 50 planks to make a wagon bottom, what does it take to make a baby. Ps two waging bottoms. Lance C -- Edited by Olley46 on Monday 4th of November 2013 07:49:20 PM
|
Olley46
|
0
|
512
|
|
|
|
|
turkey season
(Preview)
|
The dog lady
|
0
|
694
|
|
|
|
|
Hairspray
(Preview)
Grandfather was in the garden with his young grandson when the lad pulled a worm from the ground. "I will give you $50 if you can get that worm back in the hole" said Grandfather. The little fellow ran off inside and came back with a can of firm hold hair spray. He sprayed the worm. waited a few s...
|
copper1
|
3
|
995
|
|
|
|
|
Car Parts
(Preview)
Nelson Mandela is sitting at home watching TV and drinking a beer when he hears a knock at the door. When he opens it, he is confronted by a little Chinese man, clutching a clip board and yelling, 'You Sign! You sign!' Behind him is an enormous truck full of car exhausts. ... Nelson is standing there in com...
|
copper1
|
1
|
764
|
|
|
|
|
Teacher Arrested
(Preview)
|
copper1
|
0
|
527
|
|
|
