Just Joking

rockylizard · rockylizard

Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, 'Do you want to go to heaven?' The man said, 'I do, Father.' The priest said, 'Then stand over there against the wall.' Then the priest asked the second man, 'Do you want to go to heaven?' 'Certainly, Father,' was the man's reply...

Hendo · Hendo

The game of choice for unemployed people or maintenance level workers is basketball. The game of choice for frontline workers is football. The game of choice for middle management is tennis. The game of choice for CEOs and executives is golf. Conclusion: The higher up on the corporate ladder you are...

rockylizard · rockylizard

rockylizard · rockylizard

Hendo · Hendo

A British Engineer just started his own business in Afghanistan. Hes making land mines that look like prayer mats. Its doing well. He says prophets are going through the roof. A ringer from a huge cattle station in outback Australia appeared before Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates. Have you ever done...

Hendo · Hendo

Text of a letter from a kid from Eromanga to Mum and Dad. (For those of you not in the know, Eromanga is a small town, west of Quilpie in the far south west of Queensland ) Dear Mum & Dad, I am well. Hope youse are too. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better than workin' on the station - tel...

2foot6 · 2foot6

Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and Family values. Bill said, 'I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?' Larry replied, 'I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?' ___________________________________________ A little boy went up to his father an...

Vic41 · Vic41

Ron received the following text from his neighbour:"I am so sorry Ron. I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess. I have been tapping into your wife, day and night when you're not around. I'm not getting it at home, but that's no excuse.I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A lawyer and a senior citizen are sitting next to each other on a long flight. The lawyer is thinking that seniors are so dumb that he could get one over on them easily. So, the lawyer asks if the senior would like to play a fun game. The senior is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines a...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

A blonde goes into a coffee shop and notices there's a 'peel and win' sticker on her coffee cup. So she peels it off and starts screaming, 'I've won a motorhome! I've won a motorhome!'The waitress says, 'That's impossible. The biggest prizeis a free Lunch.' But the blonde keeps on screaming, I'...

Hurls · Hurls

This is an actual sign at a golf club in Scotland 1. BACK STRAIGHT, KNEES BENT2. FEET SHOULDER WIDTH APART3. FORM A LOOSE GRIP4. KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN!5. STAY OUT OF THE WATER.6. TRY NOT TO HIT ANYONE.7. IF YOU ARE TAKING TOO LONG. ALLOW OTHERS AHEAD OF YOU8. DON'T STAND DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF OTHERS.9. QUI...

sarg · sarg

I recall my first time with a condom. I was 16. I went in to buy a packet of condoms. In those days it took a lot of guts to go in a store and ask for that kind of item because everyone in town knew me and there was no doubt the young lady (I think her name was Delores) knew what they were for.She was working as an as...

Vic41 · Vic41

Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true? A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it.. Don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to li...

Gunsondeck · Gunsondeck

If you've ever worked for a boss who reacts before getting the facts And thinking things through, you will love this! Arcelor-Mittal Steel, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hired a new CEO. The new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers. On a tour of the facilities, the CEO...

BriVee · BriVee

SIGN by the river Shannon:When this notice is under water it is unsafe to cross the river at this point. STERILITY is hereditary. If your parents and grandparents didnt have any children, the chances are you wont either. BRIDGET once entered a competition to predict the final score in an All-Irela...

sarg · sarg

Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their mid-term exam. The last question was, 'Name seven advantages of Mother's Milk.' The question was worth 70 points or none at all. One student, in particular, was hard put to think of seven advantages However, he wrote: 1) It is perfect formula f...

Vic41 · Vic41

I got a new stick deodorant today. The instructions said: "Remove cap and push up bottom." I can barely walk, but whenever I fart, the room smells lovely.

sarg · sarg

A man in northern Minnesota woke up one morning to find a bear on his roof. He looked in the Yellow Pages, and sure enough, there was an ad for "Up North Bear Removers." He called the number listed and the bear remover said he'd be over within an hour. The bear remover arrived, and got out...

Vic41 · Vic41

You know you're in a Perth summer when:1. The best parking space is determined by shade instead of distance. 2. Hot water comes out of both taps. 3. You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron. 4. The temperature drops below 35c and you feel a little chilly. 5. You discover that i...

Vic41 · Vic41

The floods....

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Ya gotta luv the Irish... (Preview) Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, 'Do you want to go to heaven?' The man said, 'I do, Father.' The priest said, 'Then stand over there against the wall.' Then the priest asked the second man, 'Do you want to go to heaven?' 'Certainly, Father,' was the man's reply...	rockylizard	0	730	09:56 PM Mar 7, 2014 by rockylizard
	Balls (Preview) The game of choice for unemployed people or maintenance level workers is basketball. The game of choice for frontline workers is football. The game of choice for middle management is tennis. The game of choice for CEOs and executives is golf. Conclusion: The higher up on the corporate ladder you are...	Hendo	5	993	07:48 PM Mar 7, 2014 by Russue
	Nature does care... (Preview)	rockylizard	0	634	08:23 PM Mar 6, 2014 by rockylizard
	Sartorial Elegance? (Preview)	rockylizard	0	619	08:22 PM Mar 6, 2014 by rockylizard
	Just Two (Preview) A British Engineer just started his own business in Afghanistan. Hes making land mines that look like prayer mats. Its doing well. He says prophets are going through the roof. A ringer from a huge cattle station in outback Australia appeared before Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates. Have you ever done...	Hendo	0	658	12:46 PM Mar 6, 2014 by Hendo
	Army Life (Preview) Text of a letter from a kid from Eromanga to Mum and Dad. (For those of you not in the know, Eromanga is a small town, west of Quilpie in the far south west of Queensland ) Dear Mum & Dad, I am well. Hope youse are too. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better than workin' on the station - tel...	Hendo	2	936	03:12 PM Mar 5, 2014 by Kooroorinya Kelpie
	Some humor (Preview) Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and Family values. Bill said, 'I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?' Larry replied, 'I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?' ___________________________________________ A little boy went up to his father an...	2foot6	0	875	05:03 PM Mar 4, 2014 by 2foot6
	Infidelity.... (Preview) Ron received the following text from his neighbour:"I am so sorry Ron. I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess. I have been tapping into your wife, day and night when you're not around. I'm not getting it at home, but that's no excuse.I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will...	Vic41	0	739	05:08 PM Mar 3, 2014 by Vic41
	JOKE ENJOY! (Preview) A lawyer and a senior citizen are sitting next to each other on a long flight. The lawyer is thinking that seniors are so dumb that he could get one over on them easily. So, the lawyer asks if the senior would like to play a fun game. The senior is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines a...	aussie_paul	0	710	02:02 PM Mar 3, 2014 by aussie_paul
	Motor home (Preview) A blonde goes into a coffee shop and notices there's *a 'peel and win' sticker on her coffee cup.* So she *peels it off and starts screaming, 'I've won a motorhome!* I've won a motorhome!'The waitress says, 'That's impossible. The biggest prizeis a free Lunch.' *But the blonde keeps on screaming, I'...*	justcruisin01	1	1081	11:56 PM Mar 2, 2014 by Girl Smurf
	Golf Club Sign (Preview) This is an actual sign at a golf club in Scotland 1. BACK STRAIGHT, KNEES BENT2. FEET SHOULDER WIDTH APART3. FORM A LOOSE GRIP4. KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN!5. STAY OUT OF THE WATER.6. TRY NOT TO HIT ANYONE.7. IF YOU ARE TAKING TOO LONG. ALLOW OTHERS AHEAD OF YOU8. DON'T STAND DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF OTHERS.9. QUI...	Hurls	1	1188	04:10 PM Mar 2, 2014 by Rob49
	MY FIRST TIME (Preview) I recall my first time with a condom. I was 16. I went in to buy a packet of condoms. In those days it took a lot of guts to go in a store and ask for that kind of item because everyone in town knew me and there was no doubt the young lady (I think her name was Delores) knew what they were for.She was working as an as...	sarg	0	747	08:06 AM Mar 2, 2014 by sarg
	Wise Chinese Doctor (Preview) Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true? A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it.. Don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to li...	Vic41	2	1128	12:11 AM Mar 2, 2014 by Vic41
	New CEO (Preview) If you've ever worked for a boss who reacts before getting the facts And thinking things through, you will love this! Arcelor-Mittal Steel, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hired a new CEO. The new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers. On a tour of the facilities, the CEO...	Gunsondeck	1	786	08:39 PM Mar 1, 2014 by BriVee
	That sounds Irish! (Preview) SIGN by the river Shannon:When this notice is under water it is unsafe to cross the river at this point. STERILITY is hereditary. If your parents and grandparents didnt have any children, the chances are you wont either. BRIDGET once entered a competition to predict the final score in an All-Irela...	BriVee	0	725	07:48 PM Mar 1, 2014 by BriVee
	Mother's Milk (Preview) Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their mid-term exam. The last question was, 'Name seven advantages of Mother's Milk.' The question was worth 70 points or none at all. One student, in particular, was hard put to think of seven advantages However, he wrote: 1) It is perfect formula f...	sarg	0	761	06:21 AM Mar 1, 2014 by sarg
	Seniors Deodorant.... (Preview) I got a new stick deodorant today. The instructions said: "Remove cap and push up bottom." I can barely walk, but whenever I fart, the room smells lovely.	Vic41	0	1301	07:52 PM Feb 28, 2014 by Vic41
	Bears (Preview) A man in northern Minnesota woke up one morning to find a bear on his roof. He looked in the Yellow Pages, and sure enough, there was an ad for "Up North Bear Removers." He called the number listed and the bear remover said he'd be over within an hour. The bear remover arrived, and got out...	sarg	1	612	02:14 PM Feb 28, 2014 by Woolly
	Perth In Summer... (Preview) You know you're in a Perth summer when:1. The best parking space is determined by shade instead of distance. 2. Hot water comes out of both taps. 3. You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron. 4. The temperature drops below 35c and you feel a little chilly. 5. You discover that i...	Vic41	0	672	12:47 PM Feb 28, 2014 by Vic41
	London Flooding. (Preview) The floods....	Vic41	0	650	12:37 PM Feb 28, 2014 by Vic41
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