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How did we Survive
(Preview)
"HOW DID WE SURVIVE" My mum used to cut chicken, chop eggs and spread butter on bread on the same cutting board with the same knife and no bleach, but we didn't seem to get food poisoning.. Our school sandwiches were wrapped in wax paper in a brown paper bag, not in ice pack coolers, but I can't...
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Hurls
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1
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1069
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Understanding Engineers (as emailed to me receintly)
(Preview)
Understanding Engineers #1 Two engineering students were biking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bik...
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Mike C
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2
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1197
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LUBRICANT;
(Preview)
Lubricant Murphy's' old lady had been pregnant for some time and now the time had come. He brought her to the doctor and the doctor began to deliver the baby. She had a little boy, and the doctor looked over at Murphy and said. 'Hey, Murph! You just had you a son,! 'Ain't dat grand,' Murphy got excited by th...
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justcruisin01
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1
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695
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Spirit of Xmas
(Preview)
A couple were Christmas shopping. The shopping centre was packed As the wife walked through one of the malls she was surprised when she looked around to find that her husband was nowhere to be seen. She was quite upset because they had a lot to do. She became so worried that she called him on her mobile ph...
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JayDee
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1
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554
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Time for School
(Preview)
Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son. "Wake up son, it's time to go to school!" "But why, Mum? I don't want to go." "Give me two good reasons why you don't want to go." "Well the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me too!" "Oh, that...
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Hendo
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0
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634
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Signs of a Hi-Tech Person
(Preview)
- You haven't played solitare with a real deck of cards for years. - You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three - You text your son's phone to let him know it is time for dinner. He emails you back from his bedroom "Whats for dinner?" - You chat several times a day with someone...
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Hendo
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5
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743
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Christmas
(Preview)
Paddy says to Mick Christmas is on Friday this year". Mick said "Let's hope it's not the 13th then". -- This year, I hosted Christmas Dinner for family, far and wide, and everyone was encouraged to bring all the children and grandchildren as well. During dinner, my four-year-old gra...
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sarg
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1
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665
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----
(Preview)
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rockylizard
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0
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428
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THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE
(Preview)
The four stages of life: 1) You believe in Santa Claus; 2) You don't believe in Santa Claus; 3) You are Santa Claus; 4) You look like Santa Claus............Well some of us anyway...
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sarg
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0
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672
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Christmas wish
(Preview)
I asked the wife what she wanted for Christmas. "A divorce" she said. "I wasn't thinking of spending that much" I told her...
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sarg
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0
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442
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Bringin' sexy back
(Preview)
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HOOK
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0
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691
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I wish you'd put your things away Arthur.
(Preview)
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HOOK
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0
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696
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I never saw the signs.
(Preview)
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HOOK
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0
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602
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Guilty as charged ....but there were EXTENUATING CIRCUMSTANCES
(Preview)
W hile conducting some business at the Courthouse, I overheard a lady, who had been arrested for assaulting a Mammogram Technician, say, "Your Honor, I'm guilty but, there were extenuating circumstances."The female Judge said, sarcastically, "I'd certainly like to hear tho...
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bridget
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1
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775
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THE BULL
(Preview)
I recently spent $14,500 on a young registered Black Angus bull. I put him out with the herd but he just ate grass and wouldn't even look at a cow. I was beginning to think I had paid more for that bull than he was worth. Anyhow, I had the Vet come and have a look at him. He said the bull was very healthy, but p...
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sarg
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3
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720
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The Tax System Explained in Beer - as it should be!!
(Preview)
THE TAX SYSTEM EXPLAINED IN BEER Suppose that once a week, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to £100. If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this. The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing. The fifth would pay £1. The sixth would pay £3. The se...
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Hurls
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1
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1345
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Which airline?
(Preview)
A man is alone in an airport lounge. A beautiful woman walks in and sit down at the table next to him.He decides because she's wearing a uniform, she's probably an off-duty flight attendant.So he decides to have a go at picking her up by identifying the airline she flies for, thereby impressing her grea...
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Joe50
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1
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1148
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Walk with me while I age
(Preview)
"Walk with me while I age" , I hope this poem has the same effect on you as it did on me - then my sharing it will be well worth the effort A beautiful poem about growing older. ...... F*#&K ... I forgot the words.
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Hendo
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2
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957
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Pearly Gates before Christmas
(Preview)
T'was the night before Christmas, and three men arrived at the 'Pearly Gates'. St Peter said, "Being the time of year, to grant entry, you have to show me something that represents Christmas." The first guy steps up, and pulls a few leaves out of his pocket. St Peter, "What is that?&qu...
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copper1
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0
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667
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Here are a few CIL insurance funnies
(Preview)
http://www.cilinsurance.com.au/about-cil/caravan-rv-news/cil%E2%80%99s-funniest-caravanning-moments
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johnno48
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2
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984
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