Just Joking

graham (chickenman) · graham (chickenman)

Head was born without a body just his head. One afternoon head said to his dad can we go to the pub for a beer and watch them playing darts. Dad replied ok head lets go, so dad put head under his arm and went to the local pub for a few scooners. While dad and head were watching a darts game, head asked his dad coul...

graham (chickenman) · graham (chickenman)

Little Johnny and Little Lisa are only 10 years old, but they know that they are in love. One day they decide that they want to get married, so Johnny goes to Lisa's father to ask for his blessing. Johnny bravely walks up to him and says "Mr. Jones, me and Lisa are in love and I want to ask you for your b...

Vic41 · Vic41

A Scot was drinking in a bar in London when he gets a call on his cell phone. He orders drinks for everybody in the bar as he announces, his wife has just produced a typical Scottish baby boy weighing 25 pounds. Nobody can believe that any new baby can weigh in at 25 pounds, but the man just shrugs, "Th...

graham (chickenman) · graham (chickenman)

The teacher wrote on the blackboard: "I ain't had no fun in months." Then asked the class, "How should I correct this sentence?" Little Johnny raised his had and replied, "Get yourself a new boyfriend."

graham (chickenman) · graham (chickenman)

On a clear night the lone ranger and Tonto went to sleep under the stars in there swags. At 2 am Tonto said to the lone rager, arent those stars so bright and must be millions of them up there? Lone ranger replied, oh yer i was thinking the same thing, as it looks like i could tough a star as the so big and look so...

graham (chickenman) · graham (chickenman)

Paddy the Irishman was stopped at a rest area near the Sa and Nt border, he got up at 6 am, had a big strech a yawn then breeky and nature call , then a hour later he hit the road heading towards Alice spring. He wound up to 100 kmh in 30 secs then he realises he forgot his 4 wheel drive and van left in the rest area...

Hendo · Hendo

Little Johnny's 2nd-grade teacher was quizzing them on the alphabet. "Johnny," she says, "what comes after 'O'?" Johnny says, "God, I'm coming!!"

rowdy · rowdy

Little johnny in class says to teacher "Hey miss do birds have spare parts". "No of course not Johnny,"said the teacher "what made you think birds would have spare parts anyway. "Well " said Johnny,"it's just that l heard dad telling uncle Frank he was go...

Vic41 · Vic41

Today I was beaten up in an elevator this morning by a woman... I was minding my own business when this lovely girl entered. As I was staring at her boobs, she said to me, "Would you please press 1..?" So I did...and the rest is history..... -- Edited by Vic41 on Tuesday 11th of March 201...

Peterpan · Peterpan

When I was 21, Dad finally told me where babies came from. He never explained to me how the stork new which house to go to. If you die before your time, how come you never get to go to your own funeral? This may be my last post regarding jokes/puns. My memory banks have been depleted and need to be repleni...

Cowboy7307 · Cowboy7307

How do you say Robert and Richard root rabbits with out any Rs in it ?

Hendo · Hendo

Moved it to I digress -- Edited by Hendo on Sunday 16th of March 2014 11:42:53 AM

learmo · learmo

-- Edited by learmo on Saturday 15th of March 2014 09:41:31 PM

learmo · learmo

I saw a car parked outside Woolies with a bumper sticker that said "I miss Alice Springs" So I smashed the window, let down the tyres, stole the radio, left a few empty VB cans on the back seat, with a note saying "Hope this helps" -- Edited by learmo on Saturday 15th of March 2014 09:...

learmo · learmo

The way we do it in Australia!!!!!!!! This morning I was in luck and was able to buy two boxes of VB beer cheap at the local supermarket. I placed the boxes on the front seat and headed back home. I stopped at a service station where a drop-dead gorgeous blonde in a short skirt was filling up her car at the n...

Hendo · Hendo

The teach told the class that she wanted them to use the word 'contagious' in a short story Looking around the class she spots little Johnny and thinks to herself, "here's my chance to show the little bugger up." "Johnny, give a me a short story with the word contagious in it"...

Vic41 · Vic41

Please accept my apologies if I repeat a joke that has already been on the forum, sometimes a search does not bring them up especially under a different title. Also some jokes I get I have had and seen before and are oldies but goodies, someone may not have seen them, so apologies to those who have seen t...

Hendo · Hendo

Teacher asked little Johnny, "If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and then another 2 cats, how many cats would you have?" As quick as a flash Jonny replies " 7 , Miss." Teacher shakes her head and says "No, listen carefully... if I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and anothe...

Gunsondeck · Gunsondeck

One day I accidentally overturned my golf cart. Elizabeth, a very attractive and keen golfer who lived in a villa on the golf course where we were living in Sarasota, heard the noise and called out, Are you okay; what's your name?" "Its Bob, and Im OK thanks," I replied. "Bob, fo...

tonyd · tonyd

Brilliant in its simplicity ..... A. Back off and let those men who want to marry men, marry men. B. Allow those women who want to marry women, marry women. C. In three generations, there will be no Greens.

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Head and his dad (Preview) Head was born without a body just his head. One afternoon head said to his dad can we go to the pub for a beer and watch them playing darts. Dad replied ok head lets go, so dad put head under his arm and went to the local pub for a few scooners. While dad and head were watching a darts game, head asked his dad coul...	graham (chickenman)	0	703	09:45 AM Mar 20, 2014 by graham (chickenman)
	LITTLE JOHNNY WANTS TO SETTLE DOWN :) (Preview) Little Johnny and Little Lisa are only 10 years old, but they know that they are in love. One day they decide that they want to get married, so Johnny goes to Lisa's father to ask for his blessing. Johnny bravely walks up to him and says "Mr. Jones, me and Lisa are in love and I want to ask you for your b...	graham (chickenman)	0	795	09:34 AM Mar 20, 2014 by graham (chickenman)
	Scottish Baby...... (Preview) A Scot was drinking in a bar in London when he gets a call on his cell phone. He orders drinks for everybody in the bar as he announces, his wife has just produced a typical Scottish baby boy weighing 25 pounds. Nobody can believe that any new baby can weigh in at 25 pounds, but the man just shrugs, "Th...	Vic41	4	965	09:27 AM Mar 20, 2014 by Vic41
	LITTLE JOHNNY HAS THE SOLUTION (Preview) The teacher wrote on the blackboard: "I ain't had no fun in months." Then asked the class, "How should I correct this sentence?" Little Johnny raised his had and replied, "Get yourself a new boyfriend."	graham (chickenman)	0	683	09:26 AM Mar 20, 2014 by graham (chickenman)
	The lone ranger and Tonto camping under the stars (Preview) On a clear night the lone ranger and Tonto went to sleep under the stars in there swags. At 2 am Tonto said to the lone rager, arent those stars so bright and must be millions of them up there? Lone ranger replied, oh yer i was thinking the same thing, as it looks like i could tough a star as the so big and look so...	graham (chickenman)	0	821	09:14 AM Mar 20, 2014 by graham (chickenman)
	The Irishman nomad in Australia. (Preview) Paddy the Irishman was stopped at a rest area near the Sa and Nt border, he got up at 6 am, had a big strech a yawn then breeky and nature call , then a hour later he hit the road heading towards Alice spring. He wound up to 100 kmh in 30 secs then he realises he forgot his 4 wheel drive and van left in the rest area...	graham (chickenman)	0	854	09:04 AM Mar 20, 2014 by graham (chickenman)
	Little Johnny (Preview) Little Johnny's 2nd-grade teacher was quizzing them on the alphabet. "Johnny," she says, "what comes after 'O'?" Johnny says, "God, I'm coming!!"	Hendo	0	668	02:03 PM Mar 19, 2014 by Hendo
	spare parts (Preview) Little johnny in class says to teacher "Hey miss do birds have spare parts". "No of course not Johnny,"said the teacher "what made you think birds would have spare parts anyway. "Well " said Johnny,"it's just that l heard dad telling uncle Frank he was go...	rowdy	0	780	05:47 AM Mar 17, 2014 by rowdy
	Beaten Up By A Woman In An Elevator..... (Preview) Today I was beaten up in an elevator this morning by a woman... I was minding my own business when this lovely girl entered. As I was staring at her boobs, she said to me, "Would you please press 1..?" So I did...and the rest is history..... -- Edited by Vic41 on Tuesday 11th of March 201...	Vic41	2	905	03:16 AM Mar 17, 2014 by Vic41
	Another Joke. (Preview) When I was 21, Dad finally told me where babies came from. He never explained to me how the stork new which house to go to. If you die before your time, how come you never get to go to your own funeral? This may be my last post regarding jokes/puns. My memory banks have been depleted and need to be repleni...	Peterpan	1	899	10:07 PM Mar 16, 2014 by Vic41
	can you say (closed) (Preview) How do you say Robert and Richard root rabbits with out any Rs in it ?	Cowboy7307	16	1810	03:18 PM Mar 16, 2014 by revemike
	How old am I (Preview) Moved it to I digress -- Edited by Hendo on Sunday 16th of March 2014 11:42:53 AM	Hendo	0	651	11:24 AM Mar 16, 2014 by Hendo
	Faceless (Preview) -- Edited by learmo on Saturday 15th of March 2014 09:41:31 PM	learmo	0	787	09:36 PM Mar 15, 2014 by learmo
	Homesick (Preview) I saw a car parked outside Woolies with a bumper sticker that said "I miss Alice Springs" So I smashed the window, let down the tyres, stole the radio, left a few empty VB cans on the back seat, with a note saying "Hope this helps" -- Edited by learmo on Saturday 15th of March 2014 09:...	learmo	0	741	09:26 PM Mar 15, 2014 by learmo
	Good Barter (Preview) The way we do it in Australia!!!!!!!! This morning I was in luck and was able to buy two boxes of VB beer cheap at the local supermarket. I placed the boxes on the front seat and headed back home. I stopped at a service station where a drop-dead gorgeous blonde in a short skirt was filling up her car at the n...	learmo	0	721	09:21 PM Mar 15, 2014 by learmo
	More little Johnny (Preview) The teach told the class that she wanted them to use the word 'contagious' in a short story Looking around the class she spots little Johnny and thinks to herself, "here's my chance to show the little bugger up." "Johnny, give a me a short story with the word contagious in it"...	Hendo	5	1057	09:02 PM Mar 15, 2014 by revemike
	Apologies For Repeat Or Old Jokes.... (Preview) Please accept my apologies if I repeat a joke that has already been on the forum, sometimes a search does not bring them up especially under a different title. Also some jokes I get I have had and seen before and are oldies but goodies, someone may not have seen them, so apologies to those who have seen t...	Vic41	14	1331	05:34 PM Mar 15, 2014 by Peterpan
	Logic (Preview) Teacher asked little Johnny, "If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and then another 2 cats, how many cats would you have?" As quick as a flash Jonny replies " 7 , Miss." Teacher shakes her head and says "No, listen carefully... if I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and anothe...	Hendo	1	798	10:29 AM Mar 15, 2014 by Vic41
	My wife won't like it (Preview) One day I accidentally overturned my golf cart. Elizabeth, a very attractive and keen golfer who lived in a villa on the golf course where we were living in Sarasota, heard the noise and called out, Are you okay; what's your name?" "Its Bob, and Im OK thanks," I replied. "Bob, fo...	Gunsondeck	0	903	06:53 PM Mar 14, 2014 by Gunsondeck
	Future of the Greens (Preview) Brilliant in its simplicity ..... A. Back off and let those men who want to marry men, marry men. B. Allow those women who want to marry women, marry women. C. In three generations, there will be no Greens.	tonyd	4	887	12:56 AM Mar 14, 2014 by tonyd
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