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Blondes & Frozen Crabs
(Preview)
A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans , with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde stewardess to take care of them for him. She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator. He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning i...
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rosco532
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0
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589
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A reflection of today ?
(Preview)
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rockylizard
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2
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729
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tetanus shot
(Preview)
Sounds fair enough to me. This is for old folks , anyone over , or close to 50 is eligible . An old man in his mid-seventies struggles to get up from the couch then starts putting on his coat. His wife , seeing the unexpected behaviour , asks, Where are you going . He replies, 'I'm going to the doctor.' She...
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Zoomtopz
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3
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715
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new deodorant
(Preview)
I got a new stick deodorant today.The instructions said: Remove cap and push up bottom.I can barely walk, but whenever I fart, the room smells lovely.
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sarg
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1
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708
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SOUNDS LIKE FUN
(Preview)
One Monday morning the postman is walking through the neighborhood on his usual route, delivering the mail. As he approaches one of the homes he noticed that both cars were still in the driveway. His wonder was cut short by David, the homeowner, coming out with a load of empty beer, wine and spirit bo...
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sarg
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0
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657
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who says men can't remember
(Preview)
.... A couple were Christmas shopping. The shopping centre was packed, and as the wife walked through one of the malls she was surprised when she looked around to find that her husband was nowhere to be seen. She was quite upset because they had a lot to do and hence, she became so worried that she called...
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sarg
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0
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723
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Jewish Modesty
(Preview)
A Catholic, a Protestant, a Muslim and a Jew were in a discussion during a dinner. Catholic: "I have a large fortune....I am going to buy Citibank!" Protestant: "I am very wealthy and will buy General Motors!" Muslim: "I am a fabulously rich prince.... I intend to purch...
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Gunsondeck
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0
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747
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smart of GNM
(Preview)
An old guy goes to his doctor for his physical and gets sent to the Urologist as a precaution. When he gets there, he discovers the Urologist is a very pretty female doctor. The female doctor says, "I'm going to check your prostate today, but this new procedure is a little different from what yo...
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JayDee
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2
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935
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You Gotta Be Kidding Me
(Preview)
AINT history WONDERFUL ??? Have you ever wondered who first uttered the phrase, "You Gotta Be Kidding Me?" Well, it just so happens to have originated through the Father of America, way back when George Washington was crossing the Delaware river with his troops. There were 33 men...
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solarpanel4
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1
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854
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TRUE BLUE AUSSIE'S
(Preview)
The way we do it in Australia!!!!!!!! This morning I was in luck and was able to buy two boxes of VB beer cheap at the local supermarket. I placed the boxes on the front seat and headed back home. I stopped at a service station where a drop-dead gorgeous blonde in a short skirt was filling up her car at the nex...
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Gunsondeck
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1
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785
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Grumpy old men can fix Australia
(Preview)
Dear Mr. Abbot as the official replacement for Mr Rudd, Please find below our suggestion for fixing Australia 's economy. Instead of giving billions of dollars to car companies & other bussiness that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following p...
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Gunsondeck
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5
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1438
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Paper is Dead
(Preview)
http://www.youtube.com/embed/V_gOZDWQj3Q?rel=0 G.
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Gunsondeck
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2
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698
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A guy goes hunting.....
(Preview)
A guy goes hunting. A gust of wind blew. The gun fell over and discharged, shooting him in the genitals. Several hours later, lying in a hospital bed, he was approached by his doctor. "Well sir, I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that you are going to be OK. The damage was local to...
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valiant81
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1
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898
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KIWIS
(Preview)
A bloke walks into a bar in New Zealand and orders a shandy. All the Kiwis sitting around the bar look up, expecting to see another Australian visitor. The barman says, "You ain't from around here, are ya?" The guy says, "No, I'm from Canada ." The bartender says, "What d...
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sarg
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1
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635
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* * * * * * IRISH GOLFER * * * * * *
(Preview)
A golfer playing in Ireland hookedhisdrive into the woods. Looking for his ball,he found a littleLeprechaun flat on his back,a big bump on his head and the golfer'sballbeside him. Horrified, the golfer got his water bottle fromthe cart and poured it over the littl...
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sarg
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2
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827
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ONLY THREE TIMES !!!
(Preview)
Only Three Times A couple was having dinner one evening when the husband reached across the table, took his wife's hand in his and said, "Beth, soon we will be married 30 years, and there's something I have to know. In all of these 30 years, have you ever been unfaithful to me?" Beth replied...
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justcruisin01
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3
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888
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THE OVER WEIGHT IRISHMAN :;
(Preview)
An Irishman was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet.'I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks.The next time I see you, you should have lost at least 5 pounds.When the Irishman returned, he shocked the doctor by having lost nearly 60lb...
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justcruisin01
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1
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770
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First Drink
(Preview)
I was reading an article last night about fathers and sons and memories came flooding back of the time I took my son out for his first pint. Got him a Coopers Pale Ale ...... he didn't like it - I had it. Then I got him Carlsberg, he didn't like it so I had it. It was the same with Guinness and Cider....
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Hurls
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2
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635
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What goes up hill with 3 legs?
(Preview)
"Don't mess with us old people." A lawyer and a senior citizen are sitting next to each other on a long flight. The lawyer is thinking that seniors are so dumb that he could put one over on them easily. So, the lawyer asks if the senior would like to play a fun game. The senior is tired and just wan...
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sherbert
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1
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843
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Have a Safe Christmas
(Preview)
Have a great Christmas season but please also take care. With the holidays upon us I would like to share a personal experience with you about drinking and driving. As you may know some of us have been known to have brushes with the authorities from time to time on the way home after a "social sessi...
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Hurls
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3
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760
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