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Dirty ditty
(Preview)
There was a young man from Tonnorn, Who wished he had never been born, He wouldn't have been if his daddy had seen, That the end of his franger was torn. ( No offence intended) -- Edited by Magnarc on Tuesday 18th of June 2013 01:43:14 PM
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Magnarc
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2
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673
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Oh dear!
(Preview)
A little old manshuffled slowly into an ice cream parlour and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool... After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split. The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?' 'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.'
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Magnarc
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2
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671
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ITS A DOGS LIFE
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Why Some Men Have a Dog And No Wife: 1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you. 2. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name. 3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor. 4. A dog's parents never visit. 5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your...
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sarg
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1
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668
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IT PAYS TO SPEAK UP...!
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It's not new but I heard it again today and thought it worth repeating: A bloke goes into a Saloon Bar for a drink on the way home. It's very quiet and he chats with the barman. As they chat, he realises the most incredibly beautiful piano music is being played nearby. He asks the barman where the piano rec...
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Chazza
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521
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Excellent Trade
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Last week, the Governor General, Quentin Bryce, returning from visiting flood-ravaged Bundaberg, disembarked from her official RAAF flight at Canberra Airport, carrying a small piglet under each arm. Her ADC, a bright, young Army officer, there to greet her, came to attention, snapped off a sal...
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Hurls
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603
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OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF BABES...!
(Preview)
We had discussed with our great-grandies, over time, about being "Grey Nomads". While visiting family a week ago, Mr Five-Year-Old said something that made me pause and ask for a repeat (mainly because my - selective - hearing in not what it once was). Too young to understand what he'd sai...
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Chazza
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2
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616
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FOR THE FISHERMAN: A HISTORY LESSON
(Preview)
The King of ancient Persia was a fisherman of some note. He spent every spare hour (when not flaying people alive) participating in his favourite pastime, wetting a line. He was a pretty inventive sort of fellow and developed a device three thousand years before it came into more widespread use. He ma...
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Chazza
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2
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615
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Bought v Homemade
(Preview)
Six year old Annie returns home from school and says she had her first family planning lesson at school. Her mother, very interested, asks: "How did it go?" "I nearly died of shame!" she answers, "Sam from over the road, says that the stork brings babies. Sally next door sa...
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spida
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894
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SENIOR ROAD TRIP
(Preview)
While on a road trip, an elderly couplestopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch.After finishing their meal, they left therestaurant, and resumed their trip. When leaving, the elderly woman unknowinglyleft her glasses on the table, and she didn'tmiss them until they had been driving for abou...
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sarg
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1
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758
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Another Irish Joke
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Best Irish Joke in a long Time! Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the Night celebrating St Patrick's Day. Mick, the bartender says, 'You'll Not be drinking anymore tonight, Paddy'.. Paddy replies, 'OK Mick, I'll Be on my way then'. Paddy spins around on his stool and st...
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spida
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1
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813
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An aaah how sweet moment
(Preview)
Sleepy Animals - ModernMom Top 10 these are gorgeous, hope you enjoy the moments as I did. cheers, Veronica
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BriVee
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2
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756
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Humour for smarties ....
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Enjoy .... Humour for smart people ... The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are the winners: 1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buyi...
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chaslib
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1
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727
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SHARING;
(Preview)
The sharing of marriage.... The old man placed an order for one hamburger, French fries and a drink. He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half, placing one half in front of his wife. He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pi...
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justcruisin01
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1
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600
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Birds & Bees.
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Daddy , how was I Born? A little boy Goes to his father and asks 'Daddy, how was I born?' The father Answers, 'Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I Set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe....
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JayDee
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648
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Petition
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I just got a phone call from a representative from Google. "We're campaigning to get people to sign an on-line petition supporting our company tax arrangements in light of the government's plans for an investigation." "You can bugger right off," I told him. "It's the la...
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astroid60
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559
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HOW LONG WILL I LIVE?
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Will I Live to see 80? Here's something to think about. I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and exhaustive Lab tests, he said I was doing 'fairly well' for my age. (I just turned sixty-something.) A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, 'Do you th...
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justcruisin01
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1
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640
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REDNECKS;
(Preview)
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justcruisin01
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1
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641
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"Tenjooberrymuds"
(Preview)
Another one Your brain teaser for the day. Be patient, youll get there. By the end of this, you should be multilingual.. Congratulations!!!!!! Travelling in Australia? Maybe you need to understand Tenjooberrymuds! I was recently in Sydney and decided to learn the Chinese language, so I co...
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Hurls
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3
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1164
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Donald and Daisy
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Donald Duck and Daisy Duck were spending the night together in a hotel room when Donald wanted to have sex with Daisy. "Do you have a condom, Donald?" "No, but..." "No buts, Donald, no condom, no sex. M...
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GaryKelly
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614
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Jimmy the Aboriginal
(Preview)
A rich man living in Darwin decided that he wanted to throw a party and invited all of his buddies and neighbours. He also invited Jimmy, the only aboriginal in the neighbourhood. He held the partyaround the pool in the backyard of his mansion. Everyone was having a good timedrinking, dancing, eati...
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Recoup
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616
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