Just Joking

Chazza · Chazza

All right, here's one to make you think. This is something a bloke gave me about 1956, so it's been about for a while. I'll put it on here and let a few of you have a go at it if you like. Someone will work it out, I know. Then, in a few days' time, I'll put it back up again with the interpretation. A warning: I know...

jules47 · jules47

Police work must be entertaining as well as dangerous. Recently, a female police officer arrested Patrick Lawrence, 22 year old white male, fornicating with a pumpkin in the middle of the night. The next day, at the Gwinnett County (GA) courthouse, Lawrence was charged with lewd and lascivious beh...

rowdy · rowdy

I went to the state of origin last week and there was a bloke sitting in front of me with a little fox terrier,all dressed up in the NSW colours. Every time NSW scored the little dog jumped up on the fence ,stood on his hind legs and clapped his little paws.This went on all night and when they won the game th...

Chazza · Chazza

Don't know how PC this is but here goes: The sportsmen were talking about their greatest sporting ambition. The first bloke was a golfer. He said he'd love to be in the US Open and come to the last hole of play. He'd be a stroke behind with the leader making a beautiful 30 foot putt for par. He'd be well up t...

Keith19837 · Keith19837

In Victoria, up until the '90's, the central radio dispatch centre was known as D24 (Housed in corridor D, Room 24). All calls via 000, 11444 or from police stations were routed through this comms centre to units on the ground. When a ground unit had to return to their station for paperwork, call of...

Hurls · Hurls

A Must read for Grandparents, Proud Aunties, God Mothers, Family Friends who are kid friendly!!!! (Those who aren't will love it, too.) At one point during a game, the coach called one of his9-year-old baseball players aside and asked, 'Do youunderstand what cooperation is? What a team is?' The...

sarg · sarg

A man had two of the best tickets for the opening State of Origin match. As he sits down, another man comes along and asks if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him.. "No," he says, "the seat is empty." "This is incredible..!" said the man, "Who in their right m...

JayDee · JayDee

Stew died in a fire and his body was burned pretty badly. The morgue needed someone to identify the body,so they sent for his two best friends, Mick and Paddy. The three men had always done everything together. Mick arrived first, and when the mortician pulled back the sheet Mick said, 'Yup, his fac...

GaryKelly · GaryKelly

To help save the economy, the Government will announce next month that the Immigration Department will start deporting seniors (instead of illegals) in order to lower Social Security and Medicare costs. Older people are easier to catch and will not remember how to get back home.

Chazza · Chazza

A bloke picks up a girl in a dark section of the street. She is dressed in bright pink knee boots and net stockings under a leatherette skirt that covers nothing very much at all. He asks if she'd like to go to his apartment to have a look at his multi-million dollar art collection. Off they go. In his apart...

JayDee · JayDee

the ****y . The sun was hot already - it was only 8 o'clock The ****y took off in his Ute, to go and check his stock. He drove around the paddocks checking wethers, ewes and lambs, The float valves in the water troughs, the windmills on the dams He stopped and turned a windmill on to fill a water tank And saw a e...

spida · spida

"Delta 351, You have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6 miles!" Delta 351: "Give us another hint! We have digital watches!" Tower: "TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 Degrees." TWA 2341: "Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?" T...

astroid60 · astroid60

The following are results from an OZ-words Competition where entrants were asked to take an Australian word, alter it by one letter only, and supply a witty definition. Clearly, you need to be an Aussie to understand. Billabonk: to make passionate love beside a waterhole Bludgie: a par...

Roving-Dutchy · Roving-Dutchy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=WSIUf2hD6Io

bill12 · bill12

JayDee · JayDee

Daddy's car in the woods? Little Johnny watched his daddy's car pass by the school playground and go into the woods.Curious, he followed the car and saw Daddy and Aunt Jane in a passionate embrace. Little Johnny found this so exciting that he could hardly contain himself as he ran home and started to t...

Chazza · Chazza

Two instances of funnies from real life... neither meant to be funny but hilarious because they were... Both relate to a city cousin returning to her rural roots. Jenny went for a walk through her brother-in-law's garden. A little bit later, he came out to find her in the middle of his pea patch. Jenny...

Hurls · Hurls

Subject: Police: Australia. Canada, USA. How do you tell the difference between an Australian Police Officer, a Canadian Police Officer and an American Police Officer? QUESTION: You're on duty by yourself (don't ask why, you just are and your Sergeant hates you) walking on...

spida · spida

Dear Technical support, 18 months ago, I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from Drinking Mates4.2, which I had used for years without any trouble. However, there are apparently conflicts between these two products and the only solution was to try and run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off. To make ma...

sarg · sarg

Ed the Chicken Ed came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber. He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, 'You died in your sleep, Ed.' Ed was stunned. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've Got too much to live for. Send me back!' St. Peter said, 'I'...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	A RUSSIAN VISITING CARD (Preview) All right, here's one to make you think. This is something a bloke gave me about 1956, so it's been about for a while. I'll put it on here and let a few of you have a go at it if you like. Someone will work it out, I know. Then, in a few days' time, I'll put it back up again with the interpretation. A warning: I know...	Chazza	8	791	02:54 PM Jul 21, 2013 by Chazza
	Pumpkins (Preview) Police work must be entertaining as well as dangerous. Recently, a female police officer arrested Patrick Lawrence, 22 year old white male, fornicating with a pumpkin in the middle of the night. The next day, at the Gwinnett County (GA) courthouse, Lawrence was charged with lewd and lascivious beh...	jules47	0	779	03:10 AM Jul 20, 2013 by jules47
	state of origin (Preview) I went to the state of origin last week and there was a bloke sitting in front of me with a little fox terrier,all dressed up in the NSW colours. Every time NSW scored the little dog jumped up on the fence ,stood on his hind legs and clapped his little paws.This went on all night and when they won the game th...	rowdy	0	599	03:54 PM Jul 19, 2013 by rowdy
	THREE SPORTSMEN (Preview) Don't know how PC this is but here goes: The sportsmen were talking about their greatest sporting ambition. The first bloke was a golfer. He said he'd love to be in the US Open and come to the last hole of play. He'd be a stroke behind with the leader making a beautiful 30 foot putt for par. He'd be well up t...	Chazza	0	682	12:50 AM Jul 18, 2013 by Chazza
	D24 to Box Hill Police Station Victoria (Preview) In Victoria, up until the '90's, the central radio dispatch centre was known as D24 (Housed in corridor D, Room 24). All calls via 000, 11444 or from police stations were routed through this comms centre to units on the ground. When a ground unit had to return to their station for paperwork, call of...	Keith19837	0	3643	07:32 PM Jul 17, 2013 by Keith19837
	Family Fun (Preview) A Must read for Grandparents, Proud Aunties, God Mothers, Family Friends who are kid friendly!!!! (Those who aren't will love it, too.) At one point during a game, the coach called one of his9-year-old baseball players aside and asked, 'Do youunderstand what cooperation is? What a team is?' The...	Hurls	0	605	05:21 PM Jul 17, 2013 by Hurls
	THE LOVING HUSBAND (Preview) A man had two of the best tickets for the opening State of Origin match. As he sits down, another man comes along and asks if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him.. "No," he says, "the seat is empty." "This is incredible..!" said the man, "Who in their right m...	sarg	3	785	06:36 PM Jul 17, 2013 by Chazza
	Mick & Paddy (Preview) Stew died in a fire and his body was burned pretty badly. The morgue needed someone to identify the body,so they sent for his two best friends, Mick and Paddy. The three men had always done everything together. Mick arrived first, and when the mortician pulled back the sheet Mick said, 'Yup, his fac...	JayDee	2	631	09:36 PM Jul 16, 2013 by GaryKelly
	Exporting Seniors (Preview) To help save the economy, the Government will announce next month that the Immigration Department will start deporting seniors (instead of illegals) in order to lower Social Security and Medicare costs. Older people are easier to catch and will not remember how to get back home.	GaryKelly	1	694	04:48 AM Jul 16, 2013 by Bunkerbob
	WELL, I SUPPOSE IT DOES, REALLY...! (Preview) A bloke picks up a girl in a dark section of the street. She is dressed in bright pink knee boots and net stockings under a leatherette skirt that covers nothing very much at all. He asks if she'd like to go to his apartment to have a look at his multi-million dollar art collection. Off they go. In his apart...	Chazza	2	798	12:51 AM Jul 16, 2013 by Chazza
	The **y (Preview) the **y . The sun was hot already - it was only 8 o'clock The ****y took off in his Ute, to go and check his stock. He drove around the paddocks checking wethers, ewes and lambs, The float valves in the water troughs, the windmills on the dams He stopped and turned a windmill on to fill a water tank And saw a e...	JayDee	1	821	10:04 PM Jul 15, 2013 by Wandering Whitfields
	Plane to Tower conversations! Scary! (Preview) "Delta 351, You have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6 miles!" Delta 351: "Give us another hint! We have digital watches!" Tower: "TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 Degrees." TWA 2341: "Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?" T...	spida	0	2403	06:57 PM Jul 14, 2013 by spida
	Orstraylian (Preview) The following are results from an OZ-words Competition where entrants were asked to take an Australian word, alter it by one letter only, and supply a witty definition. Clearly, you need to be an Aussie to understand. Billabonk: to make passionate love beside a waterhole Bludgie: a par...	astroid60	0	791	03:21 PM Jul 14, 2013 by astroid60
	If only we could do this to all Bankers etc (Preview) http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=WSIUf2hD6Io	Roving-Dutchy	2	729	12:21 AM Jul 14, 2013 by GaryKelly
	braless (Preview)	bill12	1	809	02:47 AM Jul 13, 2013 by GaryKelly
	Out of the mouth of babes (Preview) Daddy's car in the woods? Little Johnny watched his daddy's car pass by the school playground and go into the woods.Curious, he followed the car and saw Daddy and Aunt Jane in a passionate embrace. Little Johnny found this so exciting that he could hardly contain himself as he ran home and started to t...	JayDee	0	581	11:35 PM Jul 11, 2013 by JayDee
	SOMETIMES IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE IT'S NOT ACTUALLY MEANT TO BE... (Preview) Two instances of funnies from real life... neither meant to be funny but hilarious because they were... Both relate to a city cousin returning to her rural roots. Jenny went for a walk through her brother-in-law's garden. A little bit later, he came out to find her in the middle of his pea patch. Jenny...	Chazza	0	631	04:48 AM Jul 11, 2013 by Chazza
	Police: Australia, Canada & USA (Preview) Subject: Police: Australia. Canada, USA. How do you tell the difference between an Australian Police Officer, a Canadian Police Officer and an American Police Officer? QUESTION: You're on duty by yourself (don't ask why, you just are and your Sergeant hates you) walking on...	Hurls	0	1005	01:55 AM Jul 11, 2013 by Hurls
	Computer update problems (Preview) Dear Technical support, 18 months ago, I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from Drinking Mates4.2, which I had used for years without any trouble. However, there are apparently conflicts between these two products and the only solution was to try and run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off. To make ma...	spida	2	652	08:02 PM Jul 10, 2013 by 2weis
	ED THE CHICKEN (Preview) Ed the Chicken Ed came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber. He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, 'You died in your sleep, Ed.' Ed was stunned. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've Got too much to live for. Send me back!' St. Peter said, 'I'...	sarg	0	649	07:02 PM Jul 9, 2013 by sarg
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