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Price of Fuel in Paris
(Preview)
A thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre. After careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings and made it safely to his van. However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas. When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make su...
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Hurls
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0
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816
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Dearly beloved
(Preview)
An elderly lady recently lost her husband. She had him cremated and brought his ashes home. Picking up the urn that he was in, she poured him out on the patio table..Then, while tracing her fingers in the ashes, she started talking to him........ "You know that dishwasher you promised me?...
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JayDee
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663
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CHEWING GUM ;
(Preview)
CHEWING GUM! An Australian man was having a coffee and croissants with butter and jam in a cafe when an American tourist, chewing gum, sat down next to him. The Australian politely ignored the American, who, nevertheless started up a conversation. The American snapped his gum and said, 'You Austral...
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justcruisin01
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2
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787
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Carrying a Spare
(Preview)
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GaryKelly
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7
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774
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NAG NAG NAG ;
(Preview)
NAG NAG NAG An attorney arrived home late, after a very tough day trying to get a stay of execution. His last minute plea for clemency to the governor had failed and he was feeling worn out and depressed. As soon as he walked through the door at home, his wife started on him about, 'What time of night to be...
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justcruisin01
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2
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692
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Grandpa's Drink
(Preview)
ONE FOR ALL THE OLD CODGERS!!!! There was a family gathering, with all generations around the table. Mischievous teenagers put a Viagra tablet into Grandpa's drink, and after a while, Grandpa excused himself because he had to go to the bathroom. When he returned, however, his trousers are wet all ov...
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Hurls
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0
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594
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Something for seniors to do to keep those grey cells active
(Preview)
Something for seniors to do to keep those "aging" gray cells active............ 1 . Johnny 's mother had three children. The first child was named April. The second child was named May. ...What was the third child 's name? 2. There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten inche...
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Dunmowin
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934
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IRISH PROSTITUTE;
(Preview)
IRISH PROSTITUTE An Irish daughter had not been home for over three years. Upon her return, her father yelled at her, "Where have ye been all this time? Why did ye not write to us? Not even a line. Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old Mother thru?" The girl, crying, repli...
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justcruisin01
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0
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739
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THE BLOND DAIRY FARMER;
(Preview)
Carol, a blonde city girl, marries a dairy farmer.One morning, on his way out to check on the cows, farmer John says to Carol 'The insemination man is coming over to impregnate one of our cows today. I drove a nail into the rail above the cow's stall in the barn. You show him where the cow is when he gets her...
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justcruisin01
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0
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572
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ABORIGINAL TRACKER
(Preview)
Aboriginal Tracker An Australian tour guide was showing a group of American tourists the Top End.On their way to Kakadu he was describing the amazing abilities of the Australian Aborigines to track man or beast over land, through the air and under the sea.The Americans were incredulous. L...
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sarg
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1
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712
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Impossibilities in the world
(Preview)
1) You can't count your hair. 2) You can't wash your eyes with soap. 3) You can't breathe through your nose when your tongue is out. Put your tongue back in your mouth, you silly person. Ten (10) Things I know about you. 1) You are reading this. 2) You are human. 3) You can't say the letter ''P''...
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Dunmowin
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0
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605
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The Lunch Order
(Preview)
* The Lunch Order* A man goes into a restaurant and is seated. All thewaitresses are gorgeous. A particularly voluptuouswaitress wearing a very short skirt and legs that won't quitcame to his table and asked if he was ready to order,"What would you like, sir?"He looks at the menu and then s...
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Hurls
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1
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610
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Another Irish One.
(Preview)
Paddy and Mick are two Irishmen working at the local sawmill. One day, Mick slips and his arm gets caught and severed by the big bench saw. Paddy quickly puts the limb in a plastic bag and rushes it and Mick to the local hospital. Next day, Paddy goes to the hospital and asks after Mick. The nurse says, &quo...
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Peterpan
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0
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630
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Grandpa is a Betting Man
(Preview)
The ATO decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the ATO office. The ATO auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney. The auditor said, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you ...
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GaryKelly
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1
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706
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Same sex marriage
(Preview)
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spida
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2
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613
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The Boat people
(Preview)
A big earthquake with the strength of 8.1 on the Richter scale hit the Middle East. Two million Muslims died And over a million were injured. Iraq and Iran are totally ruined and The governments don't know where To start with providing help to rebuild. The rest of the world is in shock. The USA i...
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JayDee
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1
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565
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They Walk Among Us!!
(Preview)
They Walk Among Us! ----------------------------Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge (still working), he put it in his front garden and hung a sign on it saying: 'Free to good home. You want it, you take it.' For three days the fridge sat there without anyone looking t...
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Hurls
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1
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719
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Psychology
(Preview)
In a class on abnormal psychology, the instructor was about to introduce the subject of manic depression. The instructor asked, "How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth, screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?"...
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rockylizard
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0
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724
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Tequila
(Preview)
Tequila A man walks into a bar, notices a very large jar on the counter, and sees that it's filled to the brim with $10 bills. He guesses there must be at least ten thousand dollars in it. He approaches the bartender and asks, "What's with the money in the jar?" "Well.., you pay $10, and i...
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Hurls
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3
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778
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Dog for Sale Ad
(Preview)
Dog For Sale. Free to good home. Excellent guard dog. Owner cannot afford to feed Jethro anymore, as there are no more drug pushers, thieves, paedophiles, murderers, or molesters left in the neighbourhood for him to eat. Most of them knew Jethro only by his Chinese street name, Ho Lee Fuk!!!
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2
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857
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