Just Joking

Big Gorilla · Big Gorilla

-- Edited by Big Gorilla on Sunday 8th of September 2013 08:40:01 AM

copper1 · copper1

A man got on the bus with both of his front trouser pockets full of golf balls and sat down next to a beautiful (you guessed it) blonde. The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets. Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, "It's golf balls." The blonde continued t...

copper1 · copper1

Bill took his wife to a disco at the weekend. There was a guy on the dance floor giving it large - breakdancing, moonwalking, back flips, the works. Bill's wife turned to him and said: "See that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down." Bill says: "Looks like he's sti...

sarg · sarg

Last Wednesday a passenger in a taxi heading for Central station in Sydney, leaned over to ask the driver a question and gently tapped him on the shoulder to get his attention. The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb and stopped just inches from a large pla...

Pete49 · Pete49

She's chatting it up with St. Peter at the Pearly Gates when all of a sudden she hears the most awful, blood curdling screams. Don't worry about that, says St. Peter, It's only someone having the holes drilled into her shoulder blades for the wings. The old lady looks a little uncomfortable but carries...

rockylizard · rockylizard

DATELINE: NEW YORK - A public school teacher was arrested today at John F.Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule and a calculator. At a morning press conference, Attorney General John Ashcroft said he...

sarg · sarg

Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after His Sunday morning service, and she's in tears. He says, "So what's bothering you, Mary my dear?" She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband passed away last night." The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's t...

Magnarc · Magnarc

A devout middle eastern gentleman entered a black cab in London. He curtly asked the cabbie to turn off the radio because, as decreed by his religious teaching, he must not listen to the music because, in the time of the prophet, there was no music, especially Western music which is the music of t...

barina · barina

This is funny & obviously written by a Former Soldier... New Direction for any war: Send Service Vets over 60! I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing arse -backwards. Instead of sendi...

copper1 · copper1

Two Irishmen were waiting at the bus stop when a truck went past loaded up with rolls of turf. Jimmy said, Im gonna do dat when I win da lottery. What's dat den? asks Mikey. Send me lawn away to be mowed."

gerard gue · gerard gue

A little old man totters into a chemist to buy some Viagra."Can I have 6 tablets please and I want each of them cut into quarters"The chemist says "I can do that sir, but a quarter will not give youa full erection""I am 96 and don't have much use for an erection. I just w...

Big Gorilla · Big Gorilla

GRANDPARENTS' ANSWERING MACHINE Good morning . . . At present we are not at home, but please leave your message after you hear the beep. beeeeeppp ....... If you are one of our children, dial 1 and then select the option from 1 to 5 in order of "birth arrival" so we know who it is......then se...

barina · barina

A fart is a pleasant thing...It gives the belly ease... It warms the bed in winter... And suffocates the fleas. A fart can be quiet... A fart can be loud... Some leave a powerful... Poisonous cloud A fart can be short... Or a fart can be long... Some farts have been known... To sound like a song...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

.Two Ladies Talking in Heaven 1st woman: Hi, Wanda! 2nd woman: Hi, Sylvia! How'd you die? 1st woman: I froze to death. 2nd woman: How horrible! 1st woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you? 2nd woman: I d...

rockylizard · rockylizard

I swallowed some Tippex last night. Woke up with a massive correction.

copper1 · copper1

Irish Coffee An Irish woman of advanced age visited her physician to ask his advice in reviving her husband's libido. 'What about trying Viagra?' asked the doctor. 'Not a chance', she said. 'He won't even take an aspirin.' 'Not a problem,' replied the doctor. 'Give him an 'Irish Viagra'. It's when...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

Lubricant Murphy's' old lady had been pregnant for some time and now the time had come. He brought her to the doctor and the doctor began to deliver the baby. She had a little boy, and the doctor looked over at Murphy and said. 'Hey, Murph! You just had you a son,! 'Ain't dat grand, !!' Murphy got excited b...

gerard gue · gerard gue

PRICELESS! A doctor was addressing a large audience in Oxford ... "The material we put into our stomachs should have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is full of steroids and dye. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High trans-...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

A blonde orders a beer. The bartender fills the mug and slides it down the bar. It hits the blonde woman's boobs and splashes all over them... The bartender goes over, retrieves the mug and licks the beer off her boobs. Each time the blonde calls for another beer this happens. So after the third beer, a gu...

Big Gorilla · Big Gorilla

WHEN I'M 100, IF I LEAN A LITTLE, LET ME!! The family wheeled Grandma out on the lawn, in her wheelchair, where the activities for her 100th birthday were taking place.Grandma couldn't speak very well, but she would write notes when she needed to communicate. After a short time out on the lawn, Grandm...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	WINE... (Preview) -- Edited by Big Gorilla on Sunday 8th of September 2013 08:40:01 AM	Big Gorilla	1	897	07:32 PM Sep 12, 2013 by Gunsondeck
	Golf Balls (Preview) A man got on the bus with both of his front trouser pockets full of golf balls and sat down next to a beautiful (you guessed it) blonde. The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets. Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, "It's golf balls." The blonde continued t...	copper1	0	716	05:38 AM Sep 12, 2013 by copper1
	At The Disco (Preview) Bill took his wife to a disco at the weekend. There was a guy on the dance floor giving it large - breakdancing, moonwalking, back flips, the works. Bill's wife turned to him and said: "See that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down." Bill says: "Looks like he's sti...	copper1	0	623	05:31 AM Sep 12, 2013 by copper1
	THE TAXI DRIVER (Preview) Last Wednesday a passenger in a taxi heading for Central station in Sydney, leaned over to ask the driver a question and gently tapped him on the shoulder to get his attention. The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb and stopped just inches from a large pla...	sarg	0	688	11:31 PM Sep 11, 2013 by sarg
	heaven as told by an older lady (Preview) She's chatting it up with St. Peter at the Pearly Gates when all of a sudden she hears the most awful, blood curdling screams. Don't worry about that, says St. Peter, It's only someone having the holes drilled into her shoulder blades for the wings. The old lady looks a little uncomfortable but carries...	Pete49	2	719	11:35 PM Sep 11, 2013 by sarg
	Terrorism (Preview) DATELINE: NEW YORK - A public school teacher was arrested today at John F.Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule and a calculator. At a morning press conference, Attorney General John Ashcroft said he...	rockylizard	0	589	03:45 PM Sep 10, 2013 by rockylizard
	THE WIDOW (Preview) Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after His Sunday morning service, and she's in tears. He says, "So what's bothering you, Mary my dear?" She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband passed away last night." The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's t...	sarg	0	626	02:28 PM Sep 10, 2013 by sarg
	London Cabbie (Preview) A devout middle eastern gentleman entered a black cab in London. He curtly asked the cabbie to turn off the radio because, as decreed by his religious teaching, he must not listen to the music because, in the time of the prophet, there was no music, especially Western music which is the music of t...	Magnarc	0	627	11:49 AM Sep 10, 2013 by Magnarc
	Call Up - Guys Over 60 (Preview) This is funny & obviously written by a Former Soldier... New Direction for any war: Send Service Vets over 60! I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing arse -backwards. Instead of sendi...	barina	2	934	08:03 PM Sep 9, 2013 by Ontos45
	Irish Millionaire (Preview) Two Irishmen were waiting at the bus stop when a truck went past loaded up with rolls of turf. Jimmy said, Im gonna do dat when I win da lottery. What's dat den? asks Mikey. Send me lawn away to be mowed."	copper1	1	704	04:47 PM Sep 9, 2013 by spida
	ONE for the OLD FELLA'S (Preview) A little old man totters into a chemist to buy some Viagra."Can I have 6 tablets please and I want each of them cut into quarters"The chemist says "I can do that sir, but a quarter will not give youa full erection""I am 96 and don't have much use for an erection. I just w...	gerard gue	1	785	12:19 AM Sep 9, 2013 by GaryKelly
	Grand Parents... (Preview) *GRANDPARENTS' ANSWERING MACHINE* Good morning . . . At present we are not at home, but please leave your message after you hear the beep. beeeeeppp ....... If you are one of our children, dial 1 and then select the option from 1 to 5 in order of "birth arrival" so we know who it is......then se...	Big Gorilla	1	797	02:02 PM Sep 8, 2013 by mongrel
	Sweet Little Poem. (Preview) A fart is a pleasant thing...It gives the belly ease... It warms the bed in winter... And suffocates the fleas. A fart can be quiet... A fart can be loud... Some leave a powerful... Poisonous cloud A fart can be short... Or a fart can be long... Some farts have been known... To sound like a song...	barina	0	815	04:24 AM Sep 7, 2013 by barina
	HEAVENLY TALK; (Preview) .Two Ladies Talking in Heaven 1st woman: Hi, Wanda! 2nd woman: Hi, Sylvia! How'd you die? 1st woman: I froze to death. 2nd woman: How horrible! 1st woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you? 2nd woman: I d...	justcruisin01	0	618	02:52 AM Sep 7, 2013 by justcruisin01
	It could happen to anyone... (Preview) I swallowed some Tippex last night. Woke up with a massive correction.	rockylizard	0	579	03:38 AM Sep 6, 2013 by rockylizard
	Irish Coffee (Preview) Irish Coffee An Irish woman of advanced age visited her physician to ask his advice in reviving her husband's libido. 'What about trying Viagra?' asked the doctor. 'Not a chance', she said. 'He won't even take an aspirin.' 'Not a problem,' replied the doctor. 'Give him an 'Irish Viagra'. It's when...	copper1	2	854	06:15 AM Sep 6, 2013 by D and D
	LUBRICANT; (Preview) Lubricant Murphy's' old lady had been pregnant for some time and now the time had come. He brought her to the doctor and the doctor began to deliver the baby. She had a little boy, and the doctor looked over at Murphy and said. 'Hey, Murph! You just had you a son,! 'Ain't dat grand, !!' Murphy got excited b...	justcruisin01	0	718	02:52 AM Sep 5, 2013 by justcruisin01
	PRICELESS! (Preview) PRICELESS! A doctor was addressing a large audience in Oxford ... "The material we put into our stomachs should have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is full of steroids and dye. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High trans-...	gerard gue	0	535	11:20 PM Sep 4, 2013 by gerard gue
	A BLONDE ORDERS A BEER; (Preview) A blonde orders a beer. The bartender fills the mug and slides it down the bar. It hits the blonde woman's boobs and splashes all over them... The bartender goes over, retrieves the mug and licks the beer off her boobs. Each time the blonde calls for another beer this happens. So after the third beer, a gu...	justcruisin01	1	752	03:27 PM Sep 4, 2013 by spida
	WHEN I'M 100, IF I LEAN A LITTLE, LET ME!! (Preview) WHEN I'M 100, IF I LEAN A LITTLE, LET ME!! The family wheeled Grandma out on the lawn, in her wheelchair, where the activities for her 100th birthday were taking place.Grandma couldn't speak very well, but she would write notes when she needed to communicate. After a short time out on the lawn, Grandm...	Big Gorilla	2	897	09:27 PM Sep 3, 2013 by Ontos45
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