Just Joking

Gunsondeck · Gunsondeck

Morris Schwartz is on his deathbed, knows the end is near, is with his nurse, his wife, his daughter and two sons. "So", he says to them:"Bernie, I want you to take the Beverly Hills houses." "Sybil, take the apartments over in Los Angeles Plaza." "Hymie, I wan...

Hurls · Hurls

This Christmas, please drink responsibly sit down so you dont spill any!

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

Paddy texts his wife... "Mary, Im just having one more pint with the lads. If Im not back in 20 minutes, read this message again."

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

Mating Call Two Red Indians and an Irishman were walking through the woods. All of a sudden one of the Red Indians ran up a hill to the mouth of a small cave. 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' he called into the cave and listened closely until he heard an answering, 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Woooooo! He then tore off h...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

Shortly after a British Airways flight had reached its cruising altitude, the captain announced: 'Ladiesand Gentlemen, this is your Captain. Welcome to Flight 293, non-stop from LondonHeathrow to Toronto . The weather ahead is good, so we should have a smooth uneventful flight. So sit back, rela...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

Don't eat turkey sandwiches, no matter what ! ! A little boy and a little girl attended the same school and became friends. Every day they would sit together to eat their lunch. They discovered that they both brought turkey sandwiches every day! This went on all through the fourth and fifth grades, unt...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

The way we do it in Australia!!!!!!!! This morning I was in luck and was able to buy two boxes of VB beer cheap at the local supermarket. I placed the boxes on the front seat and headed back home. I stopped at a service station where a drop-dead gorgeous blonde in a short skirt was filling up her car at the ne...

Santa · Santa

A Mate sent me this today, had to chuckle. Four old guys are walking down a street in Maroochydore. They turned a corner and see a sign that says, Old Timer's Bar - all drinks 10 cents! They look at each other, and then go in, thinking this is too good to be true. The old barman says in a voice that...

reglynn · reglynn

A woman goes out shopping with her husband and spots a pair of boots she loves. The husband says, "No chance, love, they're way too expensive" Later on, in bed, the wife is just falling asleep, when the husband tries his luck and places his hand on her hip and then lower on to her thigh. She t...

reglynn · reglynn

A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans , with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde stewardess to take care of them for him. She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator. He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning in a ve...

sarg · sarg

Husband: Oh, come on. Wife: Leave me alone! Husband: It won't take long. Wife: I won't be able to sleep afterwards. Husband: I can't sleep without it. Wife: Why do you think of things like this in the middle of the night? Husband: Because I'm hot. Wife : You get hot at the darnedest tim...

reglynn · reglynn

A nasty and mean looking truckiecame into a Truck Stop Cafeand placed his order.He said,'I want three flat tires,a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards.'The brand new blonde waitress,not wanting to appear stupid,went to the kitchen and said to the cook, 'This guy out there just ordered...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

Rrriiiiinnnnggg, rrriiiinnnngg!Rrriiiiinnnnggg, rrriiiinnnngg,** **'Hello?'** **'Hi honey.****This is Daddy.** **Is Mommy near the phone?'** **'No, Daddy.** **She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Gabe.'** **After a brief pause,** **Daddy says,** **'But honey, you haven't got an Un...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

5 OLDER LADIES Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 KPH. Says he to himself: "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices...

Hurls · Hurls

Two Irish nuns have just arrived in USA by boat, and one says to the other, "I hear that the people in this country actually eat dogs." "Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America , we might as well do as the Americans do." As they sit, they hear...

Hurls · Hurls

Bob Hill and his new wife Betty were vacationing in Europe.....as it happens, near Transylvania . They were driving in a rental car along a rather deserted highway. It was late and raining very hard. Bob could barely see the road in front of the car. Suddenly, the car skids out of control! Bob att...

Hurls · Hurls

This morning I was in luck and was able to buy two cartons of Victoria Bitter beer cheap at the local supermarket. I placed the boxes on the front seat and headed back home. I stopped at a service station for fuel where a drop-dead gorgeous blonde in a short skirt was filling up her car at the next pump. Sh...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

Irish Birth Control Mrs. Donovan was walking down O'Connell Street in Dublin when she met Father Flaherty. The Father said, 'Top o' the mornin' to ye! Aren't ye Mrs. Donovan and didn't I marry ye and yer hoosband two years ago?' She replied, 'Aye, that ye did, Father.' The Father asked, 'And be ther...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

A doctor in St John's Newfoundland wanted to get off work and go hunting, so he approached his janitor. "I am goin' huntin' tomorrow Buddy and don't want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of all my patients and I'll give you fifty bucks." "Yes, si...

Hurls · Hurls

The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she had just gotten married for the fourth time. The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband's occupation. "He's a funeral director,&q...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	On his death bed... (Preview) Morris Schwartz is on his deathbed, knows the end is near, is with his nurse, his wife, his daughter and two sons. "So", he says to them:"Bernie, I want you to take the Beverly Hills houses." "Sybil, take the apartments over in Los Angeles Plaza." "Hymie, I wan...	Gunsondeck	0	768	06:56 PM Dec 6, 2013 by Gunsondeck
	A White Christmas (Preview) *This Christmas, please drink responsibly sit down so you dont spill any!*	Hurls	0	644	11:56 AM Dec 6, 2013 by Hurls
	PADDY; (Preview) Paddy texts his wife... "Mary, Im just having one more pint with the lads. If Im not back in 20 minutes, read this message again."	justcruisin01	3	906	11:58 AM Dec 6, 2013 by Hurls
	MATING CALL; (Preview) Mating Call Two Red Indians and an Irishman were walking through the woods. All of a sudden one of the Red Indians ran up a hill to the mouth of a small cave. 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' he called into the cave and listened closely until he heard an answering, 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Woooooo! He then tore off h...	justcruisin01	1	735	06:18 AM Dec 6, 2013 by sarg
	THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SPEAKING; (Preview) Shortly after a British Airways flight had reached its cruising altitude, the captain announced: 'Ladiesand Gentlemen, this is your Captain. Welcome to Flight 293, non-stop from LondonHeathrow to Toronto . The weather ahead is good, so we should have a smooth uneventful flight. So sit back, rela...	justcruisin01	1	823	06:16 AM Dec 6, 2013 by sarg
	TURKEY SANDWICHES; (Preview) Don't eat turkey sandwiches, no matter what ! ! A little boy and a little girl attended the same school and became friends. Every day they would sit together to eat their lunch. They discovered that they both brought turkey sandwiches every day! This went on all through the fourth and fifth grades, unt...	justcruisin01	1	727	06:14 AM Dec 6, 2013 by sarg
	TRUE BLUE AUSSIE'S (Preview) The way we do it in Australia!!!!!!!! This morning I was in luck and was able to buy two boxes of VB beer cheap at the local supermarket. I placed the boxes on the front seat and headed back home. I stopped at a service station where a drop-dead gorgeous blonde in a short skirt was filling up her car at the ne...	justcruisin01	1	764	05:11 PM Dec 5, 2013 by bill12
	Old timers bar- all drinks 10 cents. (Preview) A Mate sent me this today, had to chuckle. Four old guys are walking down a street in Maroochydore. They turned a corner and see a sign that says, Old Timer's Bar - all drinks 10 cents! They look at each other, and then go in, thinking this is too good to be true. The old barman says in a voice that...	Santa	0	759	09:10 PM Dec 4, 2013 by Santa
	New Boots (Preview) A woman goes out shopping with her husband and spots a pair of boots she loves. The husband says, "No chance, love, they're way too expensive" Later on, in bed, the wife is just falling asleep, when the husband tries his luck and places his hand on her hip and then lower on to her thigh. She t...	reglynn	0	826	11:45 AM Dec 4, 2013 by reglynn
	Blondes & Frozen Crabs (Preview) A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans , with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde stewardess to take care of them for him. She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator. He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning in a ve...	reglynn	0	743	11:38 AM Dec 4, 2013 by reglynn
	DONT YOU lOVE ME ? (Preview) Husband: Oh, come on. Wife: Leave me alone! Husband: It won't take long. Wife: I won't be able to sleep afterwards. Husband: I can't sleep without it. Wife: Why do you think of things like this in the middle of the night? Husband: Because I'm hot. Wife : You get hot at the darnedest tim...	sarg	2	780	07:23 PM Dec 4, 2013 by mongrel
	A Truckies Breakfast (Preview) A nasty and mean looking truckiecame into a Truck Stop Cafeand placed his order.He said,'I want three flat tires,a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards.'The brand new blonde waitress,not wanting to appear stupid,went to the kitchen and said to the cook, 'This guy out there just ordered...	reglynn	1	702	01:28 PM Dec 4, 2013 by sarg
	Rrriiiiinnnnggg, rrriiiinnnngg! (Preview) Rrriiiiinnnnggg, rrriiiinnnngg!Rrriiiiinnnnggg, rrriiiinnnngg, 'Hello?' 'Hi honey.**This is Daddy. Is Mommy near the phone?' 'No, Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Gabe.' After a brief pause, Daddy says, **'But honey, you haven't got an Un...	justcruisin01	1	782	01:25 PM Dec 4, 2013 by sarg
	5 OLD LADIES; (Preview) 5 OLDER LADIES Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 KPH. Says he to himself: "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices...	justcruisin01	1	759	01:21 PM Dec 4, 2013 by sarg
	Two Irish Nuns (Preview) Two Irish nuns have just arrived in USA by boat, and one says to the other, "I hear that the people in this country actually eat dogs." "Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America , we might as well do as the Americans do." As they sit, they hear...	Hurls	1	613	01:19 PM Dec 4, 2013 by sarg
	On a Dark & Stormy Night (Preview) Bob Hill and his new wife Betty were vacationing in Europe.....as it happens, near Transylvania . They were driving in a rental car along a rather deserted highway. It was late and raining very hard. Bob could barely see the road in front of the car. Suddenly, the car skids out of control! Bob att...	Hurls	3	758	01:17 PM Dec 4, 2013 by sarg
	Barter - Aussie Style (Preview) This morning I was in luck and was able to buy two cartons of Victoria Bitter beer cheap at the local supermarket. I placed the boxes on the front seat and headed back home. I stopped at a service station for fuel where a drop-dead gorgeous blonde in a short skirt was filling up her car at the next pump. Sh...	Hurls	1	719	01:13 PM Dec 4, 2013 by sarg
	IRISH BIRTH CONTROL; (Preview) Irish Birth Control Mrs. Donovan was walking down O'Connell Street in Dublin when she met Father Flaherty. The Father said, 'Top o' the mornin' to ye! Aren't ye Mrs. Donovan and didn't I marry ye and yer hoosband two years ago?' She replied, 'Aye, that ye did, Father.' The Father asked, 'And be ther...	justcruisin01	0	894	08:06 PM Dec 3, 2013 by justcruisin01
	DOCTOR DOCTOR! (Preview) A doctor in St John's Newfoundland wanted to get off work and go hunting, so he approached his janitor. "I am goin' huntin' tomorrow Buddy and don't want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of all my patients and I'll give you fifty bucks." "Yes, si...	justcruisin01	0	723	08:04 PM Dec 3, 2013 by justcruisin01
	Married 4 Times (Preview) The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she had just gotten married for the fourth time. The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband's occupation. "He's a funeral director,&q...	Hurls	0	702	02:48 PM Dec 3, 2013 by Hurls
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