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How it is; and how we got there
(Preview)
In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower, spinach, and green, yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so that Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives. But Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream and Krispy Creme Donuts. And Sa...
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Rip and Rosie
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0
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650
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Black Widows
(Preview)
Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating? To stop the snoring before it starts.
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Rip and Rosie
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1
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836
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Nymphomaniac Convention
(Preview)
Nymphomaniac Convention A man boarded an aircraft at London's Heathrow Airport for New York, and taking his seat as he settled in, he noticed a very beautiful woman boarding the plane. He realised she was heading straight toward his seat and bingo - she took the seat right beside him. "Hello&qu...
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Hurls
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2
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761
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Sex Statistics
(Preview)
Global Facts About Sex At Any Given Moment: FACT: 79,000,000 people are engaged in sex - right now. FACT: 58,000,000 are kissing. FACT: 37,000,000 are relaxing after having sex. FACT: 1 old person is reading emails. You hang in there, Sunshine ....
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Hurls
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4
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923
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A blonde guy joke!!
(Preview)
An Irishman, a Mexican and a blond guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of the building.They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch I'm going to jump off this building."The Mexi...
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Rip and Rosie
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2
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868
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First Time
(Preview)
FIRST TIME... It was my first time ever And I'll Never forget I'd do it Again Without a Single regret. The sky was Dark The moon Was high We were all Alone Just she And I. Her hair Was soft Her eyes Were blue I knew just What She wanted To do. Her skin so Soft Her legs so Fine I ran my Fingers Down her Spine.. I di...
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copper1
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1
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780
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This is not Born Free
(Preview)
In 1986, Dazza was on holiday in Kenya after dropping out of Broadmeadows High School. On a pissed hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Dazza approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee, inspect...
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D and D
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1
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1065
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Good Talker !!
(Preview)
A MAN IN A FLORIDA SUPERMARKET TRIES TO BUY HALF A HEAD OF LETTUCE. THE VERY YOUNG PRODUCE ASSISTANT TELLS HIM THAT THEY SELL ONLY WHOLE HEADS OF LETTUCE . THE MAN PERSISTS AND ASKS TO SEE THE MANAGER. THE BOY SAYS HE'LL ASK HIS MANAGER ABOUT IT. WALKING INTO THE BACK ROOM, THE BOY SAID TO HIS MANAGER, '...
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Big Gorilla
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1
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886
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Tell me again how he broke his collarbone.......
(Preview)
How many bikers can relate to this LOL...
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george57
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2
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890
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Dealing with the Grandkid(s)
(Preview)
A woman in a supermarket is following a grandfather and his badly-behaved grandson. He has his hands full with the child screaming for sweets, biscuits, all sorts of things. The grandad is saying in a controlled voice: "Easy, William, we won't be long . . . easy boy." Another outburst and s...
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D and D
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0
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822
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ONE FOR YOU COPPER - USA STYLE BUT YOU CAN ENJOY
(Preview)
This policeman was being cross-examined by a defence attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the police officer's credibility... Q: 'Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene?' A: 'No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offen...
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Baz421
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1
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727
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found at mental hospital
(Preview)
After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He t...
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Baz421
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0
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713
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THE MEETING
(Preview)
General Norman Schwarzkopf was asked if he thought there was room for forgiveness toward the people who have harbored and abetted the terrorists who perpetrated the 9/11 attacks on America. His answer was classic Schwarzkopf. The General said: I believe that forgiving them is God's function. OUR...
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Baz421
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0
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609
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Password
(Preview)
A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer. The husband puts, "Mypenis," and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says, "Error. Not long enough."
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copper1
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0
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607
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A touching story...
(Preview)
As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my...
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Gunsondeck
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0
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678
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Melbourne Cup Joke
(Preview)
Riding the favourite in the Melbourne Cup, the jockey is well ahead of the field. Suddenly hes hit on the head by a frozen turkey and a string of sausages. He manages to keep control of his mount and pulls back into the lead, only to be struck by a box of Christmas crackers and a dozen mince pies as they rou...
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copper1
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0
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2347
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Very Touching
(Preview)
VERY TOUCHING One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the road-side eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and got out to investigate. He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?" "We don't have any money for food," the poor m...
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Hurls
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2
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743
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THIS IS WHY WE LOVE OLD PEOPLE
(Preview)
A farmer stopped by the local mechanics shop to have his truck fixed. They couldn't do it while he waited, so he said he didn't live far and would just walk home. On the way home he stopped at the Hardware Store and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint. He then stopped by the feed store and picked up a coup...
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Hurls
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0
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730
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Puddy tat
(Preview)
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copper1
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0
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655
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Claude the Hypnotist!
(Preview)
It was entertainment night at the senior citizens' centre.After the community sing song led by Cheryl at the piano it was time for the Star of the Show-Claude the Hypnotist! Claude explained that he was going to put the whole audience into a trance. "Yes, each and every one of you and all at the s...
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Old Crofter
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1
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816
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