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AUSSIE STATS
(Preview)
A 2007 study found that the average Australian walks about 900 miles a year. Another study found that Australians drink an average of 22 gallons of beer a year. That means, on average, Australians get about 41 miles per gallon.' Bloody good value that! -- Edited by sarg on Saturday 17th of August 20...
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sarg
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1
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769
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Irish farmers
(Preview)
Two Irish farmers bought a truckload of watermelons, paying one dollar apiece for them. Then they drove to the market and sold all their melons for the same price they'd paid for them. After counting their money at the end of the day, they realise they'd ended up with no more money than they'd started wi...
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copper1
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1
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745
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To. Many wife's
(Preview)
Bloke says both my wife's died .what did the first won die of, eating poison mushrooms. the second died of a broken neck ,how come . She wouldn't, eat the mushrooms....
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MA247
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0
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651
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Down the beach
(Preview)
Two Greek blocks down the beach, joe says to George,how come you get plenty of sexy girls. george tells joe put a potato down the front of your speedos. george sees joe the next day and tells him put the potato in the front NOT THE BACK...... Alan
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MA247
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0
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596
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Working after 70...
(Preview)
This is what will happen when the Govt. forces us to work until the age of 70... http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=19THRdXxmaI
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Big Gorilla
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0
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856
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The Juggler
(Preview)
Juggler is funny, but the best part is watching Tip O'Neil and Ronald Reagan laugh together, also the prank he plays on Sen Howard Baker is good stuff! https://www.youtube.com/embed/n6mbW-jMtrY?rel=0"****
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jimbo
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1
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756
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Cricket
(Preview)
There's some cruel humour going around England at the moment. The butt? Aussie cricketers of course!-What do you call an Aussie with a bottle of Champagne? A waiter. -What do you call a world-class Australian cricketer? Retired. -What do you call an Australian who can hold a catch? A fisherman. -Why...
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astroid60
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0
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658
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24 Hours of LeMons and racing camper van
(Preview)
http://www.24hoursoflemons.com/ "The 24 Hours of LeMons is restricted to cars that were purchased, fixed up, and track-prepped for a total of $500 or less. At most venues, the racing consists of tech inspection and track testing on Friday; long-ass endurance-race sessions on...
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dorian
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0
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1065
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Flight QA-747
(Preview)
Mate of mine was on a Plane going to Bali for a holiday, after the take off, The Pilot did the usual Welcome aboard ladies and gentlemen, this is flight QA-747 flying melbourne to densapar, our flight will be of 5 hours duration, and we will be cruising at 30000ft, Please sit back end enjoy the flight !Whe...
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dazren
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674
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Geriatric traffic jam
(Preview)
Geriatric Traffic Jam - so funny. http://biggeekdad.com/2013/08/geriatric-traffic-jam/ Enjoy the humour in this funny clip. Turn your speakers on.
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Zoomtopz
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2
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1108
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Shared Decision Making
(Preview)
A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot.The doctor comes in and says, Ah, I see youve regained consciousness.Now you probably wont remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the freeway.Youre going to be okay, youll walk again and everything, however, your penis was severed in the ac...
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copper1
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0
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609
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SNOTTY RECEPTIONIST
(Preview)
SNOTTY RECEPTIONIST An older gentleman had an appointment to see the urologist who shared offices with several other doctors. The waiting room was filled with patients. As he approached the receptionist's desk, he noticed that the receptionist was a large unfriendly woman who looked l...
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copper1
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741
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Tax Return
(Preview)
THIS IS PRICELESS!!! I finally received my tax return for 2012 back from the ATO. It puzzles me!!! They are questioning how many dependents I claimed. I guess it was because of my response to the question: "List all dependents." I replied: 1 million illegal immigrants; 1 million crack he...
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Hoodathunkit
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0
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612
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Always See the Big Picture
(Preview)
The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. After they got their tent all set up both men fell sound asleep. Some hours later Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, "Kemo Sabe look towards sky, what you see?" The Lone Ranger replies "I see millions of stars..." "W...
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Nelly
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3
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764
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House of ill repute
(Preview)
House of ill reputeSee if you can work this out: There was a brothel at the top of a hill, with a large red light at the bottom of the hill.. There were four men ..... one was walking briskly up the hill; one was inside the brothel; one was walking slowly down the hill and the fourth man was sitting in his car at...
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copper1
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1
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590
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THE TALKING CENTIPEDE...
(Preview)
The Talking Centipede A single guy decided life would be more fun if he had a pet. So he went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet. After some discussion, he finally bought a talking centipede, which came in a little white box to use for his house. He took the box bac...
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Big Gorilla
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1
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664
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Then it started
(Preview)
A radio announcer offered a prize for people to ring in for - The best nick-names for they're spouse . Well he got all th usuals - Lovey Dovey , Tail-lights , because he was not very bright . Touses , because h had no r's n em . The winner went to a Very brave bloke who nick-named his wife Harvey Norman . Th shoc...
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Zoomtopz
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0
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555
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THE THREE NUNS
(Preview)
THE THREE NUNS THREE NUNS WERE ATTENDING AN AFL FINAL.. THREE MEN WERE SITTING DIRECTLY BEHIND.. BECAUSE THEIR HABITS WERE PARTIALLY BLOCKING THE VIEW, THE MEN DECIDED TO BADGER THE NUNS HOPING THAT THEY'D GET ANNOYED ENOUGH TO MOVE TO ANOTHER AREA.. IN A VERY LOUD VOICE, THE FIRST GUY SA...
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sarg
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1
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637
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THE PARROT AND THE MAGICIAN.
(Preview)
A magician worked on a cruise ship. The audience was different each week so the magician did the same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem: The captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the Magician did every trick. Once he understood, he started shouti...
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sarg
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0
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613
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A BLONDE JOKE WITH A DIFFERENCE
(Preview)
This guy gets on a plane, and finding himself seated next to a cute blonde, immediately turned to her and made his move. "You know," he began, "I've heard that flights will go way quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passengers. So, let's talk...?" The blond...
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sarg
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493
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