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Barter - Aussie Style
(Preview)
This morning I was in luck and was able to buy two cartons of Victoria Bitter beer cheap at the local supermarket. I placed the boxes on the front seat and headed back home. I stopped at a service station for fuel where a drop-dead gorgeous blonde in a short skirt was filling up her car at the next pump. Sh...
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Hurls
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1
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724
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IRISH BIRTH CONTROL;
(Preview)
Irish Birth Control Mrs. Donovan was walking down O'Connell Street in Dublin when she met Father Flaherty. The Father said, 'Top o' the mornin' to ye! Aren't ye Mrs. Donovan and didn't I marry ye and yer hoosband two years ago?' She replied, 'Aye, that ye did, Father.' The Father asked, 'And be ther...
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justcruisin01
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900
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DOCTOR DOCTOR!
(Preview)
A doctor in St John's Newfoundland wanted to get off work and go hunting, so he approached his janitor. "I am goin' huntin' tomorrow Buddy and don't want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of all my patients and I'll give you fifty bucks." "Yes, si...
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justcruisin01
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0
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728
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Married 4 Times
(Preview)
The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she had just gotten married for the fourth time. The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband's occupation. "He's a funeral director,&q...
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Hurls
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713
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Resetting your password
(Preview)
Sorry, your password has been in use for 30 days and has expired - you must register a new one." roses "Sorry, too few characters." pretty roses "Sorry, you must use at least one numerical character." 1 pretty rose "Sorry, you cannot use blank spaces." ...
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Hurls
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637
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Two Wooodpeckers
(Preview)
*Two Woodpeckers* This Mexican woodpecker and a Canadian woodpecker were inMexico arguing about which country had the toughest trees. The Mexican woodpecker claimed Mexico had a tree that no woodpecker could peck. T The Canadian woodpecker accepted his challenge and promptly pecked a hole in t...
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Hurls
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581
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light up your life ..
(Preview)
My budgie broke his leg today so I made him a little splint out of a couple of redhead matches. His little face lit up when he tried to walk .. Unfortunately, I had forgotten to remove the sandpaper from the bottom of his cage. -- Edited by Jonathan on Tuesday 3rd of December 2013 08:15:16 PM
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Jonathan
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615
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PADDY IS BACK
(Preview)
Two Irishmen were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up. A blonde walks by and asked them what they were doing. Paddy replied, 'We're supposed to be finding the height of this flagpole, but we don't have a ladder.' The blonde took out an...
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sarg
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0
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703
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Wullie McTavish
(Preview)
Edinburgh man Wullie McTavish is on his deathbed, knows the end is near, is with the nurse, his wife, his daughter and 2 sons. "So", he says to them: "Bernie, I want you to take the Braid Hills houses." "Sybil, take the flats over in Morningside and Bruntsfield." &quo...
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sarg
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1040
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BEAR INTERRUPTS PHOTO SHOOT
(Preview)
BEAR INTERRUPTS PHOTO SHOOT Bloody dangerous place Canada... the bears are huge and very curious...see what happens when a huge brown bear decides to take a closer look at a film shoot for a washing machine... http://www.youtube.com/embed/eryxAcsTcOA?rel=0 Guns.
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Gunsondeck
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3
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1853
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Impossibilities in the World
(Preview)
IMPOSSIBILITIES IN THE WORLD 1) You can't count your hair. 2) You can't wash your eyes with soap. 3) You can't breathe when your tongue is out. Put your tongue back in your mouth, you silly person. (This was just a test!) Ten (10) Things I know about you. 1) You are reading this. 2) You are human. 3) You can'...
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Hurls
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3
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983
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Cat's and Water ... need I say more?
(Preview)
http://youtu.be/ctJJrBw7e-c
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D and D
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1
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1144
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Paddy's at it again..
(Preview)
Paddy was walking home late at night and sees a woman in the dark shadows. 'Thirty euros,' she whispers. Paddy had never been with a hooker before, but decides well why not, it's only thirty euros.So they hid in the bushes. They're go...
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sarg
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1
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845
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Pastor's false teeth
(Preview)
A Pastor goes to the dentist for a set of false teeth. The first Sunday after he gets his new teeth, he talks for only eight minutes. The second Sunday, he talks for only ten minutes. The following Sunday, he talks for 2 h...
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sarg
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0
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769
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RETIREMENT BONUS
(Preview)
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sarg
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943
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PADDY..........
(Preview)
Paddy took 2 stuffed dogs to the 'Antiques Roadshow'. "Ooh!" said the presenter, "This is a very rare set, produced by the celebrated Johns Brothers taxidermists who operated in London at the turn of last century. Do you have any idea what they would fetch if they were in good con...
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sarg
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666
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Snoring
(Preview)
A couple has a dog that snores. Annoyed because she can't sleep, the wife goes to the vet to see if he can help. The vet tells the woman to tie a ribbon around the dog's testicles and he will stop snoring. 'Yeah right!" she says. A few minutes after going to bed, the dog begins snoring, as usual. The wif...
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copper1
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6
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1089
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OLD is when....
(Preview)
OLD is when.... Scotch with 2 drops of water? A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch with two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says 'I'm on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it's today.' The bartender says 'Well, since it's your birthday, I'l...
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gerard gue
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778
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only a male could think of this ...
(Preview)
I'VE BEEN BANNED FROM WOOLWORTHS Yesterday I was at my local Woolworths store buying a large bag of My Dog dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her th...
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bridget
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3
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822
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GOLDEN SYRUP
(Preview)
A man with a bald head and a wooden leg is invited to a Xmas fancy dress party. He doesn't know what to wear to hide his head and his wooden leg, so he writes to a fancy dress company to explain his problem. A few days later he receives a parcel with a note: Dear Sir, Please find enclosed a Pirates outf...
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sarg
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2
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908
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