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Two Drops of Water.
(Preview)
A lady goes to the bar on a cruise shipand orders a Scotch with two drops of water.As the bartender gives her the drink she says'I'm on this cruise to celebratemy 80th birthday and it's today.'The bartender says'Well, since it's your birthday, I'll buy you a drink.In fact, this one is on me.'As the woma...
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Plendo
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0
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649
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How to speak to a woman !!!
(Preview)
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Hoodathunkit
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1
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704
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Health care
(Preview)
Health Care The Australian Medical Association has weighed in on Prime Minister Julia Gillard's new health care proposals. The Allergists voted to scratch it, but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves. The Gastroenterologists had a sort of a gut feeling about it...
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spida
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5
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794
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My Final Will !!!
(Preview)
I was sitting at the computer the other day & called out to my wife, "WHEN I DIE I'M GOING TO LEAVE EVERYTHING TO YOU LOVE!" SHE SHOUTED BACK "YOU ALREADY DO, YOU LAZY BASTARD!!
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Hoodathunkit
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2
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608
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Don't take life too seriously....
(Preview)
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Big Gorilla
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1
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815
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LOUD SEX
(Preview)
A wife went in to see a therapist and said, 'I've got a big problem, doctor. Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, He lets out this ear splitting yell.' 'My dear,' the shrink said, 'that's completely natural. I don't see what the problem is..' 'The problem is,' she complained, 'it w...
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gerard gue
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1
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751
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Womens Medical
(Preview)
During a lady's medical examination, the doctors says, "Your heart, lungs, pulse and blood pressure are all fine. Now let me see the bit that gets you ladies into all kinds of trouble." The lady starts taking off her clothes but is interrupted by the doctor. "No! No! Don't remove you...
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jimbo
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1
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606
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The Facelift...
(Preview)
The Facelift! A woman decided to have a face lift for her birthday, she spent $5000 and felt really good about the results. On her way home she stopped at a dress shop to look around. As she was leaving, she said to the sales clerk, I hope you dont mind me asking, but how old do you think I am? About 35, was the r...
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Hoodathunkit
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1
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686
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American and Aussie
(Preview)
The American skyting about a strong man they have in America ,he said he can go into the corner of a paddock grab a strainer post in his left hand a strainer post in his right hand throw them up above his head crash them together poof sawdust,the Aussie said that's nothing we have a strong man here he can go i...
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Olley46
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0
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546
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sign sense
(Preview)
Did I read that sign right? In an office: TOILET OUT OF ORDER....... PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW In a Laundromat: AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT In a London department store: BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS In an office: WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADD...
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spida
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1
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690
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Wise Italian Grandfather
(Preview)
Wise Italian Grandfather Why Italian Fathers and Grandfathers pass their handguns down through the family. An old Italian man is dying. He calls his grandson to his bedside, Guido, I wan' you lissina me. I wan' you to take-a my chrome plated .38 revolver so you will always remember me. "But gr...
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Hoodathunkit
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0
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727
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Where is my Sunday Paper ?
(Preview)
This is dedicated to all of us who are seniors and to all of you who will become seniors."WHERE is my SUNDAY paper?!"The irate customer calling the newspaper office, loudly demanded to knowwhere her Sunday edition was."Madam," said the newspaper employee, "today is Sa...
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Big Gorilla
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0
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776
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nice try
(Preview)
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spida
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0
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692
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Hypocrites
(Preview)
People today are such hypocrites. First they say 'I'm so hungry I could eat a horse' then try to sue Tesco for giving them that opportunity
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petengail
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0
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625
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bats
(Preview)
well Did you know this about bats?The newsletter from Gardening Australia said: Put up a bat house to encourage the presence of these shy animals. Bats consume 3,000 or more mosquitoes and other insects nightly, and bats are less likely to be rabid than dogs are. Need another reason? Bats are respon...
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Zoomtopz
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10
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1068
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Indian wisdom
(Preview)
Chief Running Horse commenting on daylight saving, "Why does white man think that cutting a foot off top of blanket and sewing on bottom, make day longer???"
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Magnarc
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0
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715
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Fifty Sheds of Grey.....
(Preview)
The novel Fifty Shades Of Grey has seduced women and baffled blokes. Now a spoof, Fifty Sheds Of Grey, offers a treat for the men. The book has author Colin Grey recounting his love encounters at the bottom of the garden. Here are some extracts... Fifty Sheds Of Grey We tried various positions round the...
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Hoodathunkit
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0
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771
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Dolphins
(Preview)
I turned up at the Circus with my Wigwam and and my performing Dolphin for an Audition. The Manager of the Circus said " We need to run a few Checks, but to all in Tents and Porpoises the job is yours".
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petengail
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0
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601
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Wife gets what she wishes for...
(Preview)
One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie. "Tie me up," she purred, "And you can do anything you want." So he tied her up and went golfing.
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petengail
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0
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585
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You cant beat a Kiwi
(Preview)
CAN'T beat aKiwi!! AKiwi and an Aussie entered a chocolate shop As they were busy looking around, the Aussiestole 3 chocolate bars. As they left the store, the Aussie said to theKiwi "Man, I'm the best thief, I stole 3 chocolate bars and no one saw me. You can't beat that. " TheKiwi repl...
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spida
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1
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776
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