|
Aplomb
(Preview)
His Lordship was in the study at Downton Abbey when the butler approached and and coughed discreetly. "May I ask you a question my Lord?" "Go ahead Carson " said his Lordship. "I am doing the crossword in The Times and I have found a word I am not too clear on" "W...
|
Legendts
|
0
|
1002
|
|
|
|
|
Legal Eagles
(Preview)
COURT REPORTERS KEEP STRAIGHT FACES ! These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place. ATTORNEY: What was th...
|
Hurls
|
1
|
735
|
|
|
|
|
Senior Moments
(Preview)
Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a check-up, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember .. Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. 'Want any...
|
Hurls
|
0
|
652
|
|
|
|
|
Such is Life
(Preview)
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. David Bissonette After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.. Sacha Guitry By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If y...
|
Hurls
|
0
|
572
|
|
|
|
|
Little Old Lady in Court
(Preview)
Defence Attorney: Will you please state your age? Old Lady: I am 94 years old. Defence Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st? Old Lady: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the...
|
Hurls
|
0
|
603
|
|
|
|
|
Beloved Leader
(Preview)
Kim Jung Un Kim Jung Un had NO military experience whatsoever before Daddy made him a four-star general.This snot-nosed twerp had never accomplished anything in his life that would even come close to military leadership.He hadn't even so much as led a Cub Scout troop, coached a sports team, o...
|
Hurls
|
2
|
600
|
|
|
|
|
GRANDMA'S BOYFRIEND.
(Preview)
Grandma's boyfriend A 5-year-old boy went to visit his grandmother one day. Playing with his toys in her bedroom while grandma was dusting, he looked up and said, 'Grandma, how come you don't have a boyfriend now that Grandpa went to heaven?' Grandma replied, 'Honey, my TV is my boyfriend. I ca...
|
sarg
|
3
|
694
|
|
|
|
|
Improvement
(Preview)
Gillard was asleep in her house and awoke to see Menzies' ghost. She asked, "Bob, how can I make this country better?" Sir Robert said, "Love the Japanese steel producers like I did." Gillard went back to sleep, this time she woke to an image of John Howard at the end of her bed. She...
|
astroid60
|
0
|
528
|
|
|
|
|
Seniors texting short cuts
(Preview)
Young people have theirs, now Seniors have their own texting codes: * ATD- At the Doctor's * BFF - Best Friends Funeral * BTW- Bring the Wheelchair * BYOT - Bring Your Own Teeth * CBM- Covered by Medicare * CUATSC- See You at the Senior Center * DWI- Driving While Incontinent * FWIW - Forgot Where I Was * GGP...
|
Dunmowin
|
1
|
639
|
|
|
|
|
Bluey and Curley
(Preview)
Bluey and Curley in New Guinea...
|
GaryKelly
|
1
|
928
|
|
|
|
|
Vet lesson!
(Preview)
This is the best example for paying attention that I have ever heard. First-year students at the Purdue Vet School were attending their first anatomy class with a real dead cow. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet. The professor started the class by tel...
|
jimbo
|
0
|
641
|
|
|
|
|
Eight Thoughts to Ponder
(Preview)
EIGHT THOUGHTS TO PONDER: Number 8 Life is sexually transmitted. Number 7 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. Number 6 Men h...
|
GaryKelly
|
0
|
622
|
|
|
|
|
Where white man went wrong
(Preview)
A US Govt. official was talking to an old Indian, Two Eagles. He said,"You've been around a long time, Two Eagles, seen a lot of changes white man have done, all his new technology etc. Where do you think he went wrong?" Two Eagles thought a bit & then replied,"White man came to ou...
|
kandagal
|
1
|
801
|
|
|
|
|
OK RUDE WINS
(Preview)
In 4 days my follow up rude joke has 253 hits. Hoodathunkit's original rudy joke comes second and third is my test yourself joke and/or drive yourself to despair. So rudy titles wins followed by people wanting to drive themselves to despair runs a close third. Good experiment. Does s*x sell??????
|
Baz421
|
2
|
776
|
|
|
|
|
What Deep Thinkers Men Are...
(Preview)
What deep thinkers men are...I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and had a cold beer. The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking on various topics. Finally I thought about an age old question: Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the...
|
GaryKelly
|
2
|
908
|
|
|
|
|
Class Distinction
(Preview)
|
GaryKelly
|
0
|
690
|
|
|
|
|
British Humour
(Preview)
British humour *The train was quite crowded and a U.S. Marine walked the entire length looking for a seat, But the only seat left was taken by a poodle belonging toa well dressed, middle-aged, French woman. The war-weary Marine asked, 'Ma'am, may I have that seat?' The French woman just sniffed and s...
|
Duh
|
1
|
755
|
|
|
|
|
A BIT BORED SO HERE GOES ANOTHER ---- WARNING WARNING - A BIT RUDE THE FOLLOW UP
(Preview)
Gotcha,,, the joke is on you for looking for something a bit rude,,lol. I noticed the joke with most reads on the whole jokes page was the one that Hoodathunkit posted that "was a bit rude". Can you tell I'm abit bored tonight, and going for the most reads of a joke in the next 7 days???????? See...
|
Baz421
|
8
|
1010
|
|
|
|
|
Crying Husband
(Preview)
A woman woke in the middle of the night to find her husband missing from their bed. In the stillness of the house, she could hear a muffled sound downstairs. She went downstairs and looked around, still not finding her husband. Listening again, she could definitely hear moaning. She went down to the...
|
Rip and Rosie
|
1
|
819
|
|
|
|
|
"To be sure, it's Irish"
(Preview)
The reason there are so many Irish jokes is because the Irish have a quaint way with words. Like the Irish patient who hobbled into the Surgery waiting room. "I hope to God the doctor finds something wrong with me because I'd hate to feel like this if I was well!" Murphy dropped dead the mom...
|
spida
|
1
|
895
|
|
|
