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Texting for Seniors
(Preview)
Texting codes for seniorsor us old farts with mobiles Young people have theirs, now us Seniors can have our own texting codes: * ATD- At the Doctor's * BFF - Best Friends Funeral * BTW- Bring the Wheelchair * BYOT - Bring Your Own Teeth * CBM- Covered by Medicare * CUATSC- See You at the Senior Citizen...
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DandS
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5
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765
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Meeting Mum
(Preview)
A young man finds the woman of his dreams and asks her to marry him. He tells his mother he wants her to meet his fiance, but he wants to make a bit of a game out of it. He says he'll bring the girl over with two other women and see if his mother can guess which is the one he wants to marry. His mother agrees to the ga...
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rockylizard
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1
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780
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Have a chuckle folks .. heh !
(Preview)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ujwod-vqyqA
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biggles
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0
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663
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Pickle slicer
(Preview)
Yossel worked in a Ukrainian Pickle Factory. For many years he had a powerful desire to put his penis in the pickle slicer. Unable to stand it any longer, he sought professional help from the factory psychologist.. After six months, the therapist gave up. He advised Yossel to go ahead and do it or he wo...
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jimbo
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0
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625
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A Glass of Wine
(Preview)
A glass of wine Error! Filename not specified. To my friends who enjoy a glass of wine.. And those who don't and are always seen with a bottle of water in their hand. As Ben Franklin said: In wine there is wisdom, In beer there is freedom, In water there is bacteria. In a number of carefull...
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gerard gue
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0
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754
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Remembering an entertainment icon
(Preview)
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rockylizard
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0
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638
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when the sister in law is too beautiful!
(Preview)
Warning: There is still a moral to this story! ! ! I was a young man very happy. My girlfriend and I were dating for over a year and we decided to get married. Only downside: the young and beautiful sister. Very sexy, my future sister was 22, always wore tight t-shirts and most of the time without a bra. Ev...
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gerard gue
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0
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755
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A THINKER
(Preview)
A man returns home a day early from a business trip. It's after midnight.While en route home, he asks the cabby if he would be a witness. The man suspects his wife is having an affair, and he wants to catch her inthe act. For $100, the cabby agrees. Quietly arriving home, the husband and cabby tip toe i...
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gerard gue
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0
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691
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New Virus
(Preview)
ATTENTION: VERY IMPORTANT INFORMATION * A VIRUS is going round called *Housework*.If you feel the need to start housework - Stop Immediately !! This virus affects your sleep and wipes out your social life.It causes you to be late for luncheons with friends and disrupts coffee get-togethers.It ma...
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clazandaza
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1
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652
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Christmas Prezzie
(Preview)
I got my wife a wooden leg for Christmas. It wasn't her main present, it was just a stocking filler.
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rockylizard
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1
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824
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Merry Christmas
(Preview)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zXQr0fPtNDI
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barina
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2
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676
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Night Before Christmas in Aussie Land
(Preview)
'Twas the night before Christmas; there wasn't a sound. Not a possum was stirring; no-one was around. We'd left on the table some tucker and beer, ... Hoping that Santa Claus soon would be here; We children were snuggled up safe in our beds, While dreams of pavlova danced 'round in our heads; And M...
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Loffty
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0
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844
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Australiana Test
(Preview)
Aussie Citizenship Test 1. Do you understand the meaning, but are unable to explain the origin of, the term died in the arse? 2. What is a bloody little be...auty? ... 3. Are these terms related: chuck a sickie; chuck a spaz; chuck a U-ey? 4. Explain the following passage: In the arvo last Chrissy the rel...
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Loffty
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2
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881
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No Bull
(Preview)
Visited a friend of ours in hospital, he doesnt look good.What happend ?? we asked. He got out the photos which were taken and explained.,He told us, he and his wife Jan went to the 4H agricultural show and one of the first exhibits they stopped at was the breeding bulls. We went up to the first pen and th...
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DandS
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1
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906
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Gawn upstairs
(Preview)
The graveside service just barely finished, when there was a massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumblin in the distance. The little old man looked at the preacher and calmly said, 'Well......she's there.'
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Magnarc
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1
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764
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PICK UP LINE;
(Preview)
Aussie walks into a pub and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance then casually looks at his watch for a moment. The woman notices this and asks: 'Is your date running late?' 'No', he replies, 'I just got this state-of the-art watch, and I was just testing it.' The intri...
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justcruisin01
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0
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842
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Irish Mirror
(Preview)
Irish Mirror (I hope this brightens up your day) After living in the remote countryside of Ireland all his life, an old Irishman decided it was time to visit Dublin. In one of the stores, he picks up a mirror and looks into it. Not ever having seen a mirror before, he remarked at the image staring back a...
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gerard gue
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1
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746
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Traffic Warden's Funeral
(Preview)
As the coffin was being lowered into the ground at a Traffic Wardens funeral, a voice from inside screams: "I'm not dead, I'm not dead. Let me out!" The Vicar smiles, leans forward sucking air through his teeth and mutters: "Too f**king late pal, I've already done the paperwork.&quo...
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Kev-Maz
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1
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864
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TRAIN TICKETS;
(Preview)
Three Australians and three Maoris are travelling by train to a Rugby match at the World Cup in England. At the station, the three Aussies each buy a ticket and watch as the three Maoris buy just one ticket between them. "How are the three of you going to travel on only one ticket?" asks one of t...
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justcruisin01
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0
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774
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INNER PEACE;
(Preview)
> This morning, I read about a doctor who says the way to achieve inner > peace is to finish all the things you have started. So I looked around > my house to see things I'd started and hadn't finished. > > Since then, I have managed to finish off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle > of Chardonna...
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justcruisin01
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0
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766
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