Just Joking

spida · spida

Dear Technical support, 18 months ago, I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from Drinking Mates4.2, which I had used for years without any trouble. However, there are apparently conflicts between these two products and the only solution was to try and run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off. To make ma...

sarg · sarg

Ed the Chicken Ed came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber. He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, 'You died in your sleep, Ed.' Ed was stunned. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've Got too much to live for. Send me back!' St. Peter said, 'I'...

sarg · sarg

A young Italian girl was going on a date. Her Nonna said: 'Sita here ana letame tella you about this-a younga boy. He's agonna try ana kiss you, you are agonna likea dat, but don't let him do dat. He's agonna try ana kiss your breasts, you are agonna likeadat too, but don'ta let him do dat eeda. But mosta i...

Legendts · Legendts

John the farmer was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers (hens), called 'pullets', and ten roosters, whose job it was to fertilize the eggs. The farmer kept records and any rooster that didn't perform went into the soup pot and was replaced. That took an awful lot of his...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

New Version of the Three Bears Story . A far more accurate account of the events of that fateful morning.... Baby bear goes downstairs, sits in his small chair at the table. He looks into his small bowl. It is empty. 'Who's been eating my porridge?' he squeaks. Daddy Bear arrives at the big table and sit...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

Mating call Two Red Indians and an Irishman were walking through the woods. All of a sudden one of the Indians ran up a hill to the mouth of a small cave. 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' he called into the cave and listened closely until he heard an answering, 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Woooooo! He then tore off hi...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

CATHOLIC HORSES A punter (gambler) was at the horse races playing the ponies and all but losing his shirt. He noticed a Priest step out onto the track and bless the forehead of one of the horses lining up for the 4th race. Lo and behold, that horse - a very long shot - won the race. Next race, as the horses li...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

*Two Woodpeckers* This Mexican woodpecker and a Canadian woodpecker were inMexico arguing about which country had the toughest trees. The Mexican woodpecker claimed Mexico had a tree that no woodpecker could peck. The Canadian woodpecker accepted his challenge and promptly pecked a hole in t...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

Paddy and his wife are lying in bed and the neighbours' dog is barking like mad in the garden. Paddy says "To hell with this!" and storms off. He comes back upstairs 5 minutes later and his wife asks "What did you do?" Paddy replies "I've put the dog in our garden. Let's see how...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

Paddy and Murphy are working on a building site. Paddy says to Murphy "I'm gonna have the day off. I'm gonna pretend I'm mad!" He climbs up the rafters, hangs upside down and shouts "I'M A LIGHT BULB! I'M A LIGHT BULB!" Murphy watches in amazement! The Foreman shouts "Paddy...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

Paddy calls Easyjet to book a flight. The operator asks "How many people are flying with you?" Paddy replies "I don't know! It's your bloody plane!"

sarg · sarg

A papa mole, a mama mole, and a baby mole, all live together in a little mole hole. One day, papa mole sticks his head out of the hole, sniffs the air and said, ' Yummy! I smell maple syrup!' ...

Hurls · Hurls

If you start with a cage containing five monkeys and inside the cage, hang a banana on a string from the top and then you place a set of stairs under the banana, before long a monkey will go to the stairs and climb toward the banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, you spray all the other monkeys with cold wa...

dazren · dazren

this one needs no comment.....Meanwhile In Australia. One day a father gets out of work and on his way home he suddenly remembers that it's his daughter's birthday. He pulls over to a Toy Shop and asks the sales person, 'How much for one of those Barbie's in the display window?' The salesperson answers...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

Warning about Bid-or-Buy Be careful what you buy on Bid-or-Buy. If you buy stuff online, check out the seller carefully. A friend, has just spent $85 plus GST on a penis enlarger. Bastards sent him a magnifying glass. The only instructions said, "Do not use in direct sunlight."

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

AUSTRIAN MAGICAn Austrian and a Bavarian entered a chocolate store. As they were busy looking, the Bavarian stole 3 chocolate bars. As they left the store, the Bavarian said to the Austrian, "Man I'm the best thief, I stole 3 chocolate bars and no one saw me. You can't beat that." The Austr...

gerard gue · gerard gue

There was a father who left 17 camels as an asset for his three sons. When the father passed away, his sons opened up the Will. The Will of the father stated that the eldest son should get 1/2 (half) of total camels while the middle son should be given 1/3rd (one-third) and the youngest son should be given 1...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

Baby's First Doctor Visit This made me laugh out loud. I hope it will give you a smile! A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam. The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked i...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, 'How long have you been bedridden?' After a look of complete confusion she answered . . .. ' Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband was alive.'

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

DIVORCE VS. MURDER* A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, I would like to buy some cyanide. ' The pharmacist asked, 'Why in the world do you need cyanide?' The lady replied, 'I need it to poison my husband.' The ph...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Computer update problems (Preview) Dear Technical support, 18 months ago, I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from Drinking Mates4.2, which I had used for years without any trouble. However, there are apparently conflicts between these two products and the only solution was to try and run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off. To make ma...	spida	2	687	08:02 PM Jul 10, 2013 by 2weis
	ED THE CHICKEN (Preview) Ed the Chicken Ed came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber. He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, 'You died in your sleep, Ed.' Ed was stunned. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've Got too much to live for. Send me back!' St. Peter said, 'I'...	sarg	0	679	07:02 PM Jul 9, 2013 by sarg
	FIRST DATE (Preview) A young Italian girl was going on a date. Her Nonna said: 'Sita here ana letame tella you about this-a younga boy. He's agonna try ana kiss you, you are agonna likea dat, but don't let him do dat. He's agonna try ana kiss your breasts, you are agonna likeadat too, but don'ta let him do dat eeda. But mosta i...	sarg	0	730	06:56 PM Jul 9, 2013 by sarg
	Fertilizer egg business (Preview) John the farmer was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers (hens), called 'pullets', and ten roosters, whose job it was to fertilize the eggs. The farmer kept records and any rooster that didn't perform went into the soup pot and was replaced. That took an awful lot of his...	Legendts	0	652	11:35 PM Jul 8, 2013 by Legendts
	THE THREE BEARS; (Preview) New Version of the Three Bears Story . A far more accurate account of the events of that fateful morning.... Baby bear goes downstairs, sits in his small chair at the table. He looks into his small bowl. It is empty. 'Who's been eating my porridge?' he squeaks. Daddy Bear arrives at the big table and sit...	justcruisin01	1	775	12:53 AM Jul 8, 2013 by GaryKelly
	THE MATING CALL; (Preview) Mating call Two Red Indians and an Irishman were walking through the woods. All of a sudden one of the Indians ran up a hill to the mouth of a small cave. 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' he called into the cave and listened closely until he heard an answering, 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Woooooo! He then tore off hi...	justcruisin01	0	640	02:46 AM Jul 7, 2013 by justcruisin01
	CATHOLIC HORSES; (Preview) CATHOLIC HORSES A punter (gambler) was at the horse races playing the ponies and all but losing his shirt. He noticed a Priest step out onto the track and bless the forehead of one of the horses lining up for the 4th race. Lo and behold, that horse - a very long shot - won the race. Next race, as the horses li...	justcruisin01	0	811	04:03 AM Jul 6, 2013 by justcruisin01
	WOODPECKERS; (Preview) Two Woodpeckers This Mexican woodpecker and a Canadian woodpecker were inMexico arguing about which country had the toughest trees. The Mexican woodpecker claimed Mexico had a tree that no woodpecker could peck. The Canadian woodpecker accepted his challenge and promptly pecked a hole in t...	justcruisin01	0	686	04:00 AM Jul 6, 2013 by justcruisin01
	NEIGHBOURS DOG; (Preview) Paddy and his wife are lying in bed and the neighbours' dog is barking like mad in the garden. Paddy says "To hell with this!" and storms off. He comes back upstairs 5 minutes later and his wife asks "What did you do?" Paddy replies "I've put the dog in our garden. Let's see how...	justcruisin01	0	663	03:57 AM Jul 6, 2013 by justcruisin01
	PADDY & MURPHY; (Preview) Paddy and Murphy are working on a building site. Paddy says to Murphy "I'm gonna have the day off. I'm gonna pretend I'm mad!" He climbs up the rafters, hangs upside down and shouts "I'M A LIGHT BULB! I'M A LIGHT BULB!" Murphy watches in amazement! The Foreman shouts "Paddy...	justcruisin01	0	586	03:55 AM Jul 6, 2013 by justcruisin01
	PADDY; (Preview) Paddy calls Easyjet to book a flight. The operator asks "How many people are flying with you?" Paddy replies "I don't know! It's your bloody plane!"	justcruisin01	0	569	03:53 AM Jul 6, 2013 by justcruisin01
	HOLEY MOLEY (Preview) A papa mole, a mama mole, and a baby mole, all live together in a little mole hole. One day, papa mole sticks his head out of the hole, sniffs the air and said, ' Yummy! I smell maple syrup!' ...	sarg	0	623	12:55 PM Jul 5, 2013 by sarg
	Psychology 101 (Preview) If you start with a cage containing five monkeys and inside the cage, hang a banana on a string from the top and then you place a set of stairs under the banana, before long a monkey will go to the stairs and climb toward the banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, you spray all the other monkeys with cold wa...	Hurls	2	1510	01:01 PM Jul 5, 2013 by sarg
	'' BARBIE '' ???? (Preview) this one needs no comment.....Meanwhile In Australia. One day a father gets out of work and on his way home he suddenly remembers that it's his daughter's birthday. He pulls over to a Toy Shop and asks the sales person, 'How much for one of those Barbie's in the display window?' The salesperson answers...	dazren	1	858	05:36 AM Jul 4, 2013 by grill n chill
	BID & BUY; (Preview) Warning about Bid-or-Buy Be careful what you buy on Bid-or-Buy. If you buy stuff online, check out the seller carefully. A friend, has just spent $85 plus GST on a penis enlarger. Bastards sent him a magnifying glass. The only instructions said, "Do not use in direct sunlight."	justcruisin01	1	813	11:08 PM Jul 3, 2013 by mongrel
	AUSRAIN MAGIC; (Preview) AUSTRIAN MAGICAn Austrian and a Bavarian entered a chocolate store. As they were busy looking, the Bavarian stole 3 chocolate bars. As they left the store, the Bavarian said to the Austrian, "Man I'm the best thief, I stole 3 chocolate bars and no one saw me. You can't beat that." The Austr...	justcruisin01	0	669	08:04 PM Jul 2, 2013 by justcruisin01
	the 18th camel (Preview) There was a father who left 17 camels as an asset for his three sons. When the father passed away, his sons opened up the Will. The Will of the father stated that the eldest son should get 1/2 (half) of total camels while the middle son should be given 1/3rd (one-third) and the youngest son should be given 1...	gerard gue	3	952	03:00 AM Jul 3, 2013 by sarg
	FIRST VISIT; (Preview) Baby's First Doctor Visit This made me laugh out loud. I hope it will give you a smile! A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam. The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked i...	justcruisin01	1	761	02:56 AM Jul 3, 2013 by sarg
	BEDRIDDEN; (Preview) While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, 'How long have you been bedridden?' After a look of complete confusion she answered . . .. ' Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband was alive.'	justcruisin01	1	639	02:55 AM Jul 3, 2013 by sarg
	DIVORICE VS. MURDER; (Preview) DIVORCE VS. MURDER* A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, I would like to buy some cyanide. ' The pharmacist asked, 'Why in the world do you need cyanide?' The lady replied, 'I need it to poison my husband.' The ph...	justcruisin01	1	723	03:04 PM Jul 2, 2013 by jules47
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