Just Joking

Hurls · Hurls

A little Aussie humour... An Italian, a Frenchman and an Aussie were talking about screams of passion. The Italian said: "Last night I massaged my wife all over her body with the finest extra virginolive oil, then we made passionate love and I made her scream, n...

jimbo · jimbo

Open a new file in your computer.Name it "Julia Gillard".Send it to the Recycle Bin.Empty the Recycle Bin.Your PC will ask you. "Do you really want to get rid of Julia Gillard?"Firmly Click "Yes."Feel better?Tomorrow we'll do Wayne Swan!

rockylizard · rockylizard

A ninety-year-old man is sitting on a park bench, sobbing, when a young man walks by and asks him what's wrong. Through his tears the old man answers, "I'm just so in love with my twenty-five-year-old wife." "What's wrong with that?" asks the young man. Between the sobs and snif...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

Gillard was asleep in her house and awoke to see Menzies' ghost. She asked, "Bob, how can I make this country better?" Sir Robert said, "Love the Japanese steel producers like I did."Gillard went back to sleep, this time she woke to an image of John Howard at the end of her bed. Sh...

sarg · sarg

The Irish Bic Lighter Mick and Paddy were fishing on the Irish shoreline when Mick pulled out a cigar. Finding he had No matches, he asked Paddy for a light. 'Ya, sure, I tink I haff a lighter,' Paddy replied and then reaching into his tackle box, he pulled out a Bic lighter 10 inches long. 'My God, man!...

GaryKelly · GaryKelly

It's gonna be one of those days, I'm afraid...

sarg · sarg

The Indian With One Testicle There once was an Indian who had only one testicle and whose given name was 'One stone'. He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him One stone.After years and years of torment, One stone finally cracked and said,' If anyone calls me One stone again I will kill them!'...

Beth54 · Beth54

An old man in Miami calls up his son in New York and says, "Listen, your mother and I are getting divorced. Forty-five years of misery is enough." "Dad, what a...re you talking about?" the son screams. We can't stand the sight of each other any longer, he says. "I'm sick of he...

Hurls · Hurls

After being married for thirty years, a wife asked her husband to describe her. He looked at her for a while...then said, "You're A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K." She asks..... "What does that mean?" He said, "Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous...

Hurls · Hurls

WORLD SURVEY BY PHONE... Last month a world-wide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?" The survey was a huge failure because of the following: 1. In Eastern Euro...

Cowboy7307 · Cowboy7307

A bloke walks into a bar, and has no money, there is a cat sitting in the corner, so he tells every one i bet my dick is longer than the cats tail so after a lot of laughter and banter thy measure the cats tail 12" Thy then go about measuring the blokes dick 7" (his was a large one) Pay up was the cry fro...

sarg · sarg

There were two brothers. One was very good and tried to always live right and be helpful. His brother on the other hand was bad and did all the things that men should not do in life and didn't care who he hurt. The bad brother died. He was still missed by his brother since he loved him despite his ways....

GaryKelly · GaryKelly

A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: 'Talking Dog For Sale.' He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the back yard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador Retriever sitting there...

petengail · petengail

A definition of globalization that I can understand and to which I now can relate: Question: What is the truest definition of Globalization? Answer: Princess Diana's Death. Question: How come? Answer : An English princess With an Egyptian boyfriend Crashes In a French tunnel, Riding in a German ca...

sarg · sarg

Paddy says to Mick, "I found this pen, is it yours?" Mick replies, "I don't know, give it here." He then tries it and says, "Yes it is." Paddy asks, "How do you know?" Mick replies, "That's my handwriting!"

rockylizard · rockylizard

Grevo · Grevo

If toast always lands butter-side down and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast to the back of a cat and drop itI went to a karaoke bar last night that didnt play any Seventies music. At first I was afraid. Oh, I was petrifiedA government survey reveals the prime minister is doin...

Hurls · Hurls

I was listening to the radio this morning when the host invited callers to reveal the nick-names they had for their wives. The best call was from a brave chap who called his wife "Harvey Norman" The Host asked him why that name? He replied, "Absolutely no interest for 36 months."...

Hurls · Hurls

Two sisters, one blondeand one brunette, Inherit the family ranch.Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bankfrom repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bullso that they can breed their own stock. Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sis...

dorian · dorian

If you see a funny sign, you might like to submit it to this web site: http://www.signspotting.com/most-popular/all-time Some good laughs here, too: http://www.engrish.com

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Screams of Passion (Preview) A little Aussie humour... An Italian, a Frenchman and an Aussie were talking about screams of passion. The Italian said: "Last night I massaged my wife all over her body with the finest extra virginolive oil, then we made passionate love and I made her scream, n...	Hurls	0	699	03:07 AM Jun 4, 2013 by Hurls
	how to start the day on a positive (Preview) Open a new file in your computer.Name it "Julia Gillard".Send it to the Recycle Bin.Empty the Recycle Bin.Your PC will ask you. "Do you really want to get rid of Julia Gillard?"Firmly Click "Yes."Feel better?Tomorrow we'll do Wayne Swan!	jimbo	0	668	11:36 PM Jun 3, 2013 by jimbo
	Old Age (Preview) A ninety-year-old man is sitting on a park bench, sobbing, when a young man walks by and asks him what's wrong. Through his tears the old man answers, "I'm just so in love with my twenty-five-year-old wife." "What's wrong with that?" asks the young man. Between the sobs and snif...	rockylizard	0	632	02:46 PM Jun 3, 2013 by rockylizard
	DREAMER! (Preview) Gillard was asleep in her house and awoke to see Menzies' ghost. She asked, "Bob, how can I make this country better?" Sir Robert said, "Love the Japanese steel producers like I did."Gillard went back to sleep, this time she woke to an image of John Howard at the end of her bed. Sh...	justcruisin01	0	670	10:31 PM Jun 2, 2013 by justcruisin01
	THE IRISH BIC LIGHTER (Preview) The Irish Bic Lighter Mick and Paddy were fishing on the Irish shoreline when Mick pulled out a cigar. Finding he had No matches, he asked Paddy for a light. 'Ya, sure, I tink I haff a lighter,' Paddy replied and then reaching into his tackle box, he pulled out a Bic lighter 10 inches long. 'My God, man!...	sarg	1	842	01:59 AM Jun 3, 2013 by pauline
	Wrong Day To Hatch (Preview) It's gonna be one of those days, I'm afraid...	GaryKelly	2	694	10:43 PM Jun 2, 2013 by bill12
	INDIANS (Preview) The Indian With One Testicle There once was an Indian who had only one testicle and whose given name was 'One stone'. He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him One stone.After years and years of torment, One stone finally cracked and said,' If anyone calls me One stone again I will kill them!'...	sarg	3	595	09:58 PM Jun 2, 2013 by jules47
	The divorce (Preview) An old man in Miami calls up his son in New York and says, "Listen, your mother and I are getting divorced. Forty-five years of misery is enough." "Dad, what a...re you talking about?" the son screams. We can't stand the sight of each other any longer, he says. "I'm sick of he...	Beth54	1	771	03:39 PM Jun 2, 2013 by sarg
	A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K. (Preview) After being married for thirty years, a wife asked her husband to describe her. He looked at her for a while...then said, "You're A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K." She asks..... "What does that mean?" He said, "Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous...	Hurls	0	716	11:43 PM May 31, 2013 by Hurls
	World Survey (Preview) WORLD SURVEY BY PHONE... Last month a world-wide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?" The survey was a huge failure because of the following: 1. In Eastern Euro...	Hurls	3	662	01:36 AM Jun 1, 2013 by Rip and Rosie
	Cats tail (Preview) A bloke walks into a bar, and has no money, there is a cat sitting in the corner, so he tells every one i bet my dick is longer than the cats tail so after a lot of laughter and banter thy measure the cats tail 12" Thy then go about measuring the blokes dick 7" (his was a large one) Pay up was the cry fro...	Cowboy7307	1	908	01:22 AM Jun 1, 2013 by sarg
	PAYBACK (Preview) There were two brothers. One was very good and tried to always live right and be helpful. His brother on the other hand was bad and did all the things that men should not do in life and didn't care who he hurt. The bad brother died. He was still missed by his brother since he loved him despite his ways....	sarg	1	738	01:18 AM Jun 1, 2013 by pauline
	Talking Dog (Preview) A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: *'Talking Dog For Sale.'* He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the back yard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador Retriever sitting there...	GaryKelly	2	726	01:17 AM Jun 1, 2013 by sarg
	Globalization (Preview) A definition of globalization that I can understand and to which I now can relate: Question: What is the truest definition of Globalization? Answer: Princess Diana's Death. Question: How come? Answer : An English princess With an Egyptian boyfriend Crashes In a French tunnel, Riding in a German ca...	petengail	1	648	08:03 PM May 31, 2013 by mongrel
	PADDY AND MICK (Preview) Paddy says to Mick, "I found this pen, is it yours?" Mick replies, "I don't know, give it here." He then tries it and says, "Yes it is." Paddy asks, "How do you know?" Mick replies, "That's my handwriting!"	sarg	2	662	03:48 PM May 31, 2013 by pauline
	HMMMM... (Preview)	rockylizard	0	668	03:22 PM May 30, 2013 by rockylizard
	The 12:15 to Stanthorpe Has Been Cancelled (Preview) If toast always lands butter-side down and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast to the back of a cat and drop itI went to a karaoke bar last night that didnt play any Seventies music. At first I was afraid. Oh, I was petrifiedA government survey reveals the prime minister is doin...	Grevo	1	737	02:39 PM May 30, 2013 by sarg
	Nicknames (Preview) I was listening to the radio this morning when the host invited callers to reveal the nick-names they had for their wives. The best call was from a brave chap who called his wife "Harvey Norman" The Host asked him why that name? He replied, "Absolutely no interest for 36 months."...	Hurls	1	678	12:27 AM May 30, 2013 by pauline
	Blonde Joke (Preview) Two sisters, one blondeand one brunette, Inherit the family ranch.Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bankfrom repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bullso that they can breed their own stock. Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sis...	Hurls	1	820	11:15 PM May 29, 2013 by pauline
	Humour web sites (Preview) If you see a funny sign, you might like to submit it to this web site: http://www.signspotting.com/most-popular/all-time Some good laughs here, too: http://www.engrish.com	dorian	0	608	03:19 AM May 29, 2013 by dorian
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