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Bin Day !
(Preview)
A garbage collector in Cairns, Australia, is driving along a > street picking up the wheelie bins and emptying them into > his compactor. > > He goes to one house where the bin hasn't been left out, and in the spirit of kindness, and after having a quick look about for the bin, he gets out of hi...
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Duh
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712
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Dear Mum Letter
(Preview)
Subject: Dear Mum Letter... Brilliant! A mother passing by her son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made, and everything was picked up. Then, she saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, 'Mum'. With the worst premonition, she opened the env...
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Hurls
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Army
(Preview)
Probably need to have seen some time in the Green Machine to fully appreciate the above. So true it hurts!!!
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Hurls
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5
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966
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The blonde and the lord
(Preview)
THE BLONDE AND THE LORD A blonde wanted to go ice fishing. She'd read many books on the subject, and finally getting all the necessary tools together, she made for the ice. After positioning her comfy footstool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice. Suddenly, from the sky, a voice boomed, &qu...
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spida
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1
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909
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Oh for a magic lamp
(Preview)
ow to live forever.A man is walking along a beach when he comes across a lamp partially buried in the sand.He picks up the lamp and gives it a rub. A genie appears and tells him he has been granted one wish. The man thinks for a moment and says, "I want to live forever." "Sorry," said t...
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JayDee
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688
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Excerpts From a Cat's Diary
(Preview)
Excerpts From a Cat's DiaryBy: mysplitpersonalityWritten on February 13th, 2008Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat,while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my...
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tcp99
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1
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834
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A blonde...
(Preview)
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Beth54
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3
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718
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Toothbrushes
(Preview)
The kids filed into class Monday morning. They were all very excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on salesmanship. Little Sally led off. "I sold Girl Scout cookies and I made $30" she said proudly, "My sales approach was to appe...
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Hurls
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957
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TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO ME !!!
(Preview)
An elderly Lady called 999 on her mobile phone to report that her car has been broken into.She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the operator: "They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!" she cried. The operator said, "Sta...
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sarg
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2
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THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US, WILL IT????
(Preview)
Three sisters ages 92, 94 and 96 live in a house togetherOne night the 96 year old draws a bath.. She puts her foot in and pauses... She yells to the other sisters, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?" The 94 year old yells back, "I don't know. I'll come up and see." She starts up the s...
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sarg
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2
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716
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YELLOW 24
(Preview)
A man goes into a doctor's office feeling a little ill The doctor checks him over and says, 'Sorry, I have some bad news, you have Yellow 24, a really nasty virus. It's called Yellow 24 because it turns your blood yellow and you usually only have 24 hours to live. There's no known cure so just go home an...
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sarg
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1
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802
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THE FART
(Preview)
Sweet Little Poem. A fart is a pleasant thing... It gives the belly ease... It warms the bed in winter... And suffocates the fleas. <mime-attachment.gif> A fart can be quiet... A fart can be loud... Some leave a powerful... Poisonous cloud <mime-attachment.gif> A fart c...
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sarg
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748
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A RUSSIAN VISITING CARD EXPLAINED
(Preview)
All right, as promised, the explanation of the 'Russian visiting card'. I know very few of you had difficulty with it but, for the two or three who did, here is the original, along with its meaning. A RUSSIAN VISITING CARD: VYISDER ASZMENI ORZESARZES AZDERIZ ORZES B. Corsz Zeris Vunarz Perorze An...
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Chazza
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0
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660
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We are Awesome
(Preview)
No matter what our kids and the new generation think about us, WE ARE AWESOME!!!OUR Lives are LIVING PROOF!!! To Those of Us Born1925 - 1970 ~~~~~~~~~TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED THE1930s, '40s, '50s, '60s and '70s!! First, we survived being born to mothers who may have smoked and/or dr...
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Hurls
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Pub Sign
(Preview)
For a collection of witty Pub Signs click here for the album.
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GaryKelly
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2
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1269
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Worried about your age?
(Preview)
http://cdn.signspotting.com/wp-content/main/2013_07/IMG_0464.JPG
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dorian
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796
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a mael
(Preview)
http://cdn.signspotting.com/wp-content/main/2013_07/a%20lower%20prostitute%20is%20soaked.jpg-- Edited by dorian on Monday 22nd of July 2013 10:29:08 AM
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dorian
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679
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BLOND & IRISH;
(Preview)
On a bitterly cold winters morning a husband and wife in Dublin were listening to the radio during breakfast. They heard the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the Snow ploughs can get through."...
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justcruisin01
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714
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Old & Wise
(Preview)
Older is Great An old woman was asked, "At your ripe age, what would you prefer to get: Parkinson's or Alzheimer?" The wise one answered, "Definitely Parkinson's - better to spill half my wine than to forget where I keep the bottle."
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Hurls
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737
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Grandma's Oranges
(Preview)
Lulu was a prostitute, but she didn't want her grandma to know. One day, the police raided the brothel and took all the girls outside and made them line up. Suddenly, Lulu's grandma came by. Grandma asked, "Why are you standing in line here, dear?" Not willing to let her grandma know...
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