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Cats tail
(Preview)
A bloke walks into a bar, and has no money, there is a cat sitting in the corner, so he tells every one i bet my dick is longer than the cats tail so after a lot of laughter and banter thy measure the cats tail 12" Thy then go about measuring the blokes dick 7" (his was a large one) Pay up was the cry fro...
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Cowboy7307
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1
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923
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PAYBACK
(Preview)
There were two brothers. One was very good and tried to always live right and be helpful. His brother on the other hand was bad and did all the things that men should not do in life and didn't care who he hurt. The bad brother died. He was still missed by his brother since he loved him despite his ways....
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sarg
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1
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748
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Talking Dog
(Preview)
A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: 'Talking Dog For Sale.' He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the back yard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador Retriever sitting there...
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GaryKelly
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2
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741
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Globalization
(Preview)
A definition of globalization that I can understand and to which I now can relate: Question: What is the truest definition of Globalization? Answer: Princess Diana's Death. Question: How come? Answer : An English princess With an Egyptian boyfriend Crashes In a French tunnel, Riding in a German ca...
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petengail
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1
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659
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PADDY AND MICK
(Preview)
Paddy says to Mick, "I found this pen, is it yours?" Mick replies, "I don't know, give it here." He then tries it and says, "Yes it is." Paddy asks, "How do you know?" Mick replies, "That's my handwriting!"
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sarg
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2
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674
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HMMMM...
(Preview)
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rockylizard
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0
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682
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The 12:15 to Stanthorpe Has Been Cancelled
(Preview)
If toast always lands butter-side down and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast to the back of a cat and drop itI went to a karaoke bar last night that didnt play any Seventies music. At first I was afraid. Oh, I was petrifiedA government survey reveals the prime minister is doin...
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Grevo
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1
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756
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Nicknames
(Preview)
I was listening to the radio this morning when the host invited callers to reveal the nick-names they had for their wives. The best call was from a brave chap who called his wife "Harvey Norman" The Host asked him why that name? He replied, "Absolutely no interest for 36 months."...
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Hurls
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1
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693
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Blonde Joke
(Preview)
Two sisters, one blondeand one brunette, Inherit the family ranch.Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bankfrom repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bullso that they can breed their own stock. Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sis...
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Hurls
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1
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834
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Humour web sites
(Preview)
If you see a funny sign, you might like to submit it to this web site: http://www.signspotting.com/most-popular/all-time Some good laughs here, too: http://www.engrish.com
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dorian
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0
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621
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The World is Mine
(Preview)
*THE WORLD IS MINE - Author Unknown Today, upon a bus, I saw a very beautiful woman And wished I were as beautiful. When suddenly she rose to leave, I saw her hobble down the aisle. She had one leg and used a crutch. But as she passed, she passed a smile. Oh, God, forgive me when I whine. I have two legs; the wor...
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Hurls
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5
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754
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Fanny Green
(Preview)
Fanny Green An Irish man went to confession in St. Patrick's Catholic Church. 'Father', he confessed, 'it has been one month since my last confession... I had sex with Fanny Green twice last month.' The priest told the sinner, 'You are forgiven. Go out and say three Hail M...
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Hurls
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0
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635
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Prostate Check-Up
(Preview)
Prostate check-up... An old guy goes to his doctor for his physical and gets sent to the Urologist as a precaution. When he gets there, he discovers the Urologist is a very pretty female doctor. The female doctor says, "I'm going to check your prostate today, but this new procedure is a...
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Hurls
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1
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809
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Good hearing
(Preview)
A young man moved out from home and into a new apartment, all of his own, he went proudly down to the lobby to put his name on his mailbox. While there, a stunning young lady came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes, wearing only a robe. The boy smiled at the young woman and she started up a conversatio...
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HOOK
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3
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599
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WRONG ANSWER;
(Preview)
WIFE: What would you do if I died? Would you get married again? HUSBAND: Definitely not! WIFE: Why not - don't you like being married? HUSBAND: Of course I do. WIFE: Then why wouldn't you remarry? HUSBAND: Okay, I'd get married again. WIFE: You would? (With a hurtful look on her face). HUSBAND: (Makes...
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justcruisin01
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0
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609
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SHOULD HAVE GONE TO SPEC SAVERS;
(Preview)
FORGOT MY GLASSES .... Yesterday, my daughter again asked me why I didn't do something useful with my time.Talking about my "doing something useful" seems to be her favorite topic of conversation.She said that she was "only thinking about me", and suggested that I go down t...
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justcruisin01
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0
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634
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Stuttering
(Preview)
A teacher's story about Stuttering A teacher is explaining biology to her 2nd grade students. "Human beings are the only animals that stutter,' she says A little girl raises her hand. 'I had a kitty-cat who stuttered.'The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, as...
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Hurls
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0
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631
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A Touch of Warmth
(Preview)
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GaryKelly
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6
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933
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Truism
(Preview)
*The Circle of Life. What is Success? . . .* *A Simple Explanation* 1. At the age of 3, Success means : Keeping your underwear clean. 2. At the age of 12, Success means : Having friends. 3. At the age of 18, Success means : Having a driver's licence. 4. At the age of 20, Success means : Having sex. 5. At the age o...
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Magnarc
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3
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875
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The Joy of Being Self Employed
(Preview)
Subject: The Joy of being Self employed (Thought you'd like this one!) The Newfoundland Department of Employment claimed a boat owner wasn't paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent to Burin to investigate him. GOVT AGENT: "I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them.&qu...
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Hurls
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1
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996
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