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BEDRIDDEN;
(Preview)
While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, 'How long have you been bedridden?' After a look of complete confusion she answered . . .. ' Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband was alive.'
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justcruisin01
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1
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662
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DIVORICE VS. MURDER;
(Preview)
DIVORCE VS. MURDER* A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, I would like to buy some cyanide. ' The pharmacist asked, 'Why in the world do you need cyanide?' The lady replied, 'I need it to poison my husband.' The ph...
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justcruisin01
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1
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748
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ARE YOU CIRCUMCISED?
(Preview)
''Are you circumcised?''] A man walks into the Election office and says to the receptionist: "I would like to put my name forward for the forthcoming elections to be an Independent candidate. The receptionist replies "Certainly sir. Please fill in this form.'' He was filling the fo...
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justcruisin01
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2
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1170
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Sex at 68
(Preview)
SEX AT 68 I just took a leaflet out of my mailbox, informing me that I can have sex at 68. I'm so happy, because I live at number 72. So it's not too far to walk home afterwards. And it's the same side of the street. I don't even have to cross the road!~~~~~ Answering machine message, "I am not available...
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Hoodathunkit
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1
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1262
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Who said that men have no logic
(Preview)
LOGIC 101 . Woman: Do you drink beer? Man: Yes Woman: How many beers a day? Man: Usually about 3 Woman: How much do you pay per beer? Man: $5.00 which includes a tip (This is where it gets scary !) Woman: And how long have you been drinking? Man: About 20 years, I suppose Woman: So a beer costs $5 and you...
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JayDee
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0
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853
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HIT MAN;
(Preview)
Hitman Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a guy carrying a golf bag called out to them, "Do you mind if I join you? My partner didn't turn up". Sure, they said, youre welcome. So they started playing and enjoyed the game and the compan...
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justcruisin01
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4
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1021
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Mum Knows Best
(Preview)
A Mom visits her son for dinner who lives with a girl roommate. During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty his roommate was.She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this had only made her more curious.... Over the course of the evening, while...
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copper1
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0
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868
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The Old Man
(Preview)
Two medical students were walking along the street when they saw an old man walking with his legs spread apart. He was stiff-legged and walking slowly. One student said to his friend: "I'm sure that poor old man has Peltry Syndrome. Those people walk just like that." The other student say...
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spida
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1
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849
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THE POWER AND MIND OF WOMAN
(Preview)
A woman was in town on a shopping trip. She began her day finding the most perfect shoes in the first shop and a beautiful dress on sale in the second. In the third, everything had just been reduced by 50 percent when her mobile phone rang. It was a female doctor notifying her that her husband had jus...
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sarg
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3
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911
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HAVE YOU EVER
(Preview)
She greeted him at the door dressed only in her "special occasion" bra and panties: "Have you ever seen a twenty dollar bill all crumpled up?" asked the wife. "No," said her husband. She gave him a sexy little smile, slowly reached into her cleavage and pulled out...
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sarg
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2
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826
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Love in a cardboard box
(Preview)
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HOOK
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4
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1688
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DRINK DRIVING
(Preview)
As you well know, some of us have been known to have had brushes with the authorities on our way home from the odd social session over the years. A couple of nights ago, I was out for a few drinks with some friends at the Marriott Hotel and had a few too many beers and some rather nice red wine. Knowing ful...
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sarg
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2
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753
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RETIREMENT
(Preview)
----- Someone asked me what I do since I have retired.... Do I have a job? I replied, I am my wife's sexual adviser." Somewhat shocked, they said, "I beg your pardon, but what do you mean by that?" "Very simple. My wife told me that when she wants my f -----g advice, she'll ask me f...
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sarg
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2
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858
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Seeing is Believing
(Preview)
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GaryKelly
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2
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861
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Interesting!
(Preview)
Seen on the rear of a truck recently, Camouflage condoms: They'll never see you coming.
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Magnarc
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1
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769
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Definitions
(Preview)
Should be in the dictionary as stated ..... These fit so well they should be in a dictionary. ADULT: A person who has stopped growing at both ends And is now growing in the middle. BEAUTY PARLOUR: A place where women curl up and dye. CHICKENS: The only animals you eat before they are born and when they are d...
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Hoodathunkit
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1
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776
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THE WOODEN BALL.
(Preview)
An old man walks into the barbershop for a shave and haircut,But he tells the barber he probably can't get all of his whiskers offbecause his cheeks are wrinkled from age.The barber gets a little wooden ball from a cup on the shelf and tellshim to put it inside his cheek to spread out the skin.When he's...
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sarg
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1
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789
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POOR CHARLIE
(Preview)
Poor Charlie. We lost him last week. Charlie had a bad stutter but a shrink explained to him that if he changed his lifestyle and ensured that he maintained a calm demeanour through everything he did, his stuttering would reduce, perhaps even go. Charlie had paid a lot of money to get the advice, so he to...
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Chazza
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0
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677
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TRICK CYCLISTS...
(Preview)
Two psychiatrists meet in the street. One says to the other, "You're well, how am I...?"
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Chazza
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0
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676
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The biter bit?
(Preview)
A devout middle eastern gentleman entered a black cab in London. He curtly asked the cabbie to turn off the radio because, as decreed by his religious teaching, he must not listen to the music because, in the time of the prophet, there was no music, especially Western music which is the music of...
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Magnarc
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3
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700
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