|
KIWI CONDOMS;
(Preview)
Condom factory burns down in New Zealand : The Prime Minister of New Zulland, is awoken at 4am by the telephone. Its the hilth Munister here. Sorry to bother you at this hour but there is an emergincy!! I've jist received word thet the Durex factory en Aucklind hes burned to the ground. It is istimated...
|
justcruisin01
|
0
|
894
|
|
|
|
|
THEORETICALLY V REALISTICALLY;
(Preview)
A small boy has a school homework question to answer, so he asks his father " Hey Dad, what's the difference between 'theoretically' and 'realistically'?" His Dad thinks for a while and then says "Right-o son.....go and ask your mother if she'd sleep with David Beckham for a m...
|
justcruisin01
|
0
|
661
|
|
|
|
|
JUST FRED;
(Preview)
A TrafficCop stops a Harley for traveling faster than the legal Speed limit and he asks the biker his name and licence. "Fred" he replies. "Fred what?" the officer asks. "Just Fred" the man responds. The officer is in a good mood and thinks he might just give the Biker...
|
justcruisin01
|
0
|
718
|
|
|
|
|
Call center conversations
(Preview)
Actual call centre conversations !!!!! Customer: 'I've been ringing 0800 2100 for two days and can't get through to enquiries, can you help?'. Operator: 'Where did you get that number from, sir?'. Customer: 'It was on the door to the Travel Centre'. Operator: 'Sir, they are our opening hours'. ----...
|
nomadic1
|
0
|
902
|
|
|
|
|
I'm lucky cos I'm a bloke
(Preview)
Men Are Just Happier People What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can w...
|
Roostertales
|
1
|
1153
|
|
|
|
|
Oops
(Preview)
|
tcp99
|
0
|
752
|
|
|
|
|
Oh Catherine!
(Preview)
Didn't know whether to post it here or Techies Corner.
|
tcp99
|
2
|
784
|
|
|
|
|
Snow Report
(Preview)
|
rockylizard
|
2
|
691
|
|
|
|
|
MAIL ORDER;
(Preview)
Two IRISHMEN were looking at a Mail order catalogue and admiring the models. One said to the other, 'Have you seen the beautiful girls in this catalogue?' The second one replies, 'Yes, they are very beautiful. And look at their price!'The first one says, with wide eyes, 'Wow, they aren't very...
|
justcruisin01
|
0
|
724
|
|
|
|
|
BIRTHDAY GIFT;
(Preview)
Two old guys talking. One said to the other: "My 85th birthday was yesterday. The wife gave me a SUV". Other guy: "Wow, that's amazing! Imagine, a SUV! What a great gift!" First guy: "Yup- Socks, Underwear and Viagra!"
|
justcruisin01
|
0
|
734
|
|
|
|
|
A BLONDE MOMENT;
(Preview)
A blonde gets home from work early and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. She rushes upstairs only to find her husband naked lying on the bed, sweating and panting. 'What's up?' she asks. 'I think I'm having a heart attack,' - cries the husband. The blonde rushes downstairs to grab the phone...
|
justcruisin01
|
0
|
710
|
|
|
|
|
THE ZIPPER;
(Preview)
In a crowded city at a busy bus stop, a woman who was waiting for a bus was wearing a tight leather skirt. As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus. Slightly embarrassed and with a quick sm...
|
justcruisin01
|
0
|
827
|
|
|
|
|
The Most Functional Word In The English Language
(Preview)
THE MOST FUNCTIONAL ENGLISH WORD (PS: Ok, so I can't spell for shirt) Well, it's shirt .... that's right, shirt! Shirt may just be the most functional word in the English language. You can smoke shirt, buy shirt, sell shirt, lose shirt, find shirt, forget shirt and Tell others to eat shirt. Some peo...
|
Duh
|
0
|
800
|
|
|
|
|
CHRISTMAS JOKE;
(Preview)
A man in Scotland calls his son in London the day before Christmas Eve and says, "I hate to ruin your day but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough". "Dad, what are you talking about?'" the son screams. "We can't stand th...
|
justcruisin01
|
0
|
603
|
|
|
|
|
Lovemaking tips for oldies!!!
(Preview)
Lovemaking Tips For Seniors 1. Wear your glasses to make sure your partner is actually in the bed. 2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle. 3. Set the mood with lighting. (Turn them ALL OFF!) 4. Make sure you put 000 on your speed dial before you begin. 5. Write partner's name on your ha...
|
barina
|
0
|
1089
|
|
|
|
|
Why cats have nine lives !
(Preview)
|
rockylizard
|
1
|
794
|
|
|
|
|
Tomato Sauce
(Preview)
A four-year old boy goes into the toilet and takes his favourite picture book with him. He seems to be in there for a long time so his mum peeks in on him. He is on the toilet and calmly flipping the pages- then he stops, puts the book down, grabs the edge of the seat with one hand and pounds himself on the head w...
|
Beatle
|
2
|
774
|
|
|
|
|
ONLY IN SCOTLAND
(Preview)
SCOTTISH BAR STOOL FOR KILTS
|
gerard gue
|
1
|
855
|
|
|
|
|
English Dictionary
(Preview)
No English dictionary has been able to adequately explain the difference between the two words COMPLETE and FINISHED, in a way that is easy to understand. Some people say there is no difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED. However, there is a difference. When you marry the right woman, you are COM...
|
jules47
|
2
|
749
|
|
|
|
|
**VIRUS**
(Preview)
NEW VIRUS There is a dangerous virus being passed electronically, orally and by hand. This virus is called Worm-Overload-Recreational-Killer (WORK). If you receive WORK from any of your colleagues, your staff or anyone else via any means, do not touch it. This virus will wipe out your private life...
|
gerard gue
|
3
|
935
|
|
|
