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BAPTISING A GLASWEGIAN;
(Preview)
A Glaswegian is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when he comesupon a preacher baptising people in the river. He proceeds to walk into thewater and subsequently bumps into the preacher.... The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of alcohol,whereupon he asks the d...
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justcruisin01
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0
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603
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Money ain't got nun
(Preview)
man suffered a serious heart attack while shopping in a store. The store clerks called 000 when they saw him collapse to the floor. The paramedics rushed the man to the nearest hospital where he had emergency open heart bypass surgery. He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns a...
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Pinto
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0
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601
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Shot 3 times
(Preview)
A woman pregnant with triplets is walking down the street when a masked robber runs out of the bank and shoots her three times in the stomach. Luckily the babies are okay. The surgeon decides to leave the bullets in because its too risky to operate. All is fine for 16 years, and then one daughter walks in...
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Pinto
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0
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584
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Exwifes revenge
(Preview)
After 37 years of marriage. Jake dumped his wife for his Young secretary. His new girlfriend demanded that they live in Jake and Edith's multi-million dollar home and since the man's lawyers were a little better he prevailed. He gave Edith his now ex-wife just 3 days to move out. She spent the 1st day pa...
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Pinto
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0
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666
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The Purse.
(Preview)
Wife went to the Market today, showed me a Little COIN PURSE that she bought, I said it's Ok if You like it, How much did it cost ? she said $1000 !!!!!! I Said WHAT ???? HOW THE HELL CAN THAT LITTLE PURSE BE WORTH A THOUSAND BUCKS ?????? She said that is because it is made from a FORESKIN ?? and in it's current st...
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dazren
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0
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590
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Grumpy Cat
(Preview)
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tcp99
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0
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652
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Grumpy Cat
(Preview)
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tcp99
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0
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573
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Boy George Moment
(Preview)
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tcp99
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0
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641
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At The Bar...
(Preview)
I pointed to two old drunks across the bar from us and told my mate, "That'll be us in another 10 years."He said, "That's a mirror, you dickhead."
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Big Gorilla
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0
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659
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Texting for seniors
(Preview)
* ATD- At the Doctor's * BFF - Best Friends Funeral * BTW- Bring the Wheelchair * BYOT - Bring Your Own Teeth * CBM- Covered by Medicare * CUATSC- See You at the Senior Center * DWI- Driving While Incontinent * FWIW - Forgot Where I Was * GGPBL- Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low * GHA - Got Heartburn Again * HGB...
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barina
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0
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650
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Sign language
(Preview)
Two deaf people get married. During the first week of marriage, they find that they are unable to communicate in the bedroom when they turn off the lights because they can't see each other using sign language. After several nights of fumbling around and misunderstandings, the wife decides to find a s...
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Pinto
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0
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586
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Wrong answer
(Preview)
WIFE: What would you do if I died? Would you get married again? HUSBAND: Definitely not! WIFE: Why not - don't you like being married? HUSBAND: Of course I do. WIFE: Then why wouldn't you remarry? HUSBAND: Okay, I'd get married again. WIFE: You would? (With a hurtful look on her face). HUSBAND: (Mak...
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clazandaza
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0
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661
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Born To Be Wild
(Preview)
Just click on the link: http://www.newsday.com/polopoly_fs/1.235372.1243574086%21menu/standard/file/ny-walt-baby-boomers.swf
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Big Gorilla
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1
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847
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password.
(Preview)
A woman is trying to help her husband to install his new computer. Once the installation is completed, she told her husband that he must choose a password. A word he remembered because he needs to start its next session. The man, a bit macho ... trying to pass a message to his wife, chooses his passwor...
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gerard gue
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0
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623
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CLOCK REPAIRS ?
(Preview)
A man inherited a a very old clock from his grandparents, it was in very good condition, However it was losing time and needed adjusting ?? So he went down to the local watchmaker shop, And was very impressed by the lovely looking young lady behind the counter. He asked ! Do you do Clock repairs here ?? sh...
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dazren
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2
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704
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The Perfect Wine Glass
(Preview)
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tcp99
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1
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650
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Some advice from my UK friend...
(Preview)
A government warning last night said that anyone travelling in icy conditions should take a shovel, blankets or sleeping bag, extra clothing including a scarf hat and gloves. Also a 24 hour supply of food and drink, a de-icer, rock salt, torch & spare batteries. In addition they should take a Saf...
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rockylizard
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2
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713
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not allowed to go shopping anymore
(Preview)
My trip to the IGA Store!... There was a bit of confusion at the IGA store this morning. When I was ready to pay for my purchases of groceries the cashier said, "Strip down, facing me." Making a mental note that I complain to her boss and the IGA franchise people I did just as she had instructed....
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Pete49
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0
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632
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TWO DROPS OF WATER;
(Preview)
'Scotch, with two drops of water please.'~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship And orders a Scotch with two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says 'I'm on this cruise to celebrate My 80th birthday and it's today.' The bartend...
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justcruisin01
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0
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941
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THE AUTHORITY
(Preview)
> Jerome is at the bar with his friend Matthew. > He takes his phone and calls his wife Clemence a very dry tone: > - Hello, yes, prepare hot water, I will soon return. > Then he hangs up. > His friend, admiring, said: > - Oh you, you're a real man! This is how it should talk to women with a...
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gerard gue
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0
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659
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