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New Virus
(Preview)
ATTENTION: VERY IMPORTANT INFORMATION * A VIRUS is going round called *Housework*.If you feel the need to start housework - Stop Immediately !! This virus affects your sleep and wipes out your social life.It causes you to be late for luncheons with friends and disrupts coffee get-togethers.It ma...
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clazandaza
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1
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661
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Christmas Prezzie
(Preview)
I got my wife a wooden leg for Christmas. It wasn't her main present, it was just a stocking filler.
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rockylizard
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1
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834
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Merry Christmas
(Preview)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zXQr0fPtNDI
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barina
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2
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684
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Night Before Christmas in Aussie Land
(Preview)
'Twas the night before Christmas; there wasn't a sound. Not a possum was stirring; no-one was around. We'd left on the table some tucker and beer, ... Hoping that Santa Claus soon would be here; We children were snuggled up safe in our beds, While dreams of pavlova danced 'round in our heads; And M...
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Loffty
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0
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860
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Australiana Test
(Preview)
Aussie Citizenship Test 1. Do you understand the meaning, but are unable to explain the origin of, the term died in the arse? 2. What is a bloody little be...auty? ... 3. Are these terms related: chuck a sickie; chuck a spaz; chuck a U-ey? 4. Explain the following passage: In the arvo last Chrissy the rel...
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Loffty
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2
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893
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No Bull
(Preview)
Visited a friend of ours in hospital, he doesnt look good.What happend ?? we asked. He got out the photos which were taken and explained.,He told us, he and his wife Jan went to the 4H agricultural show and one of the first exhibits they stopped at was the breeding bulls. We went up to the first pen and th...
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DandS
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1
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917
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Gawn upstairs
(Preview)
The graveside service just barely finished, when there was a massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumblin in the distance. The little old man looked at the preacher and calmly said, 'Well......she's there.'
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Magnarc
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1
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775
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PICK UP LINE;
(Preview)
Aussie walks into a pub and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance then casually looks at his watch for a moment. The woman notices this and asks: 'Is your date running late?' 'No', he replies, 'I just got this state-of the-art watch, and I was just testing it.' The intri...
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justcruisin01
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0
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848
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Irish Mirror
(Preview)
Irish Mirror (I hope this brightens up your day) After living in the remote countryside of Ireland all his life, an old Irishman decided it was time to visit Dublin. In one of the stores, he picks up a mirror and looks into it. Not ever having seen a mirror before, he remarked at the image staring back a...
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gerard gue
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1
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753
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Traffic Warden's Funeral
(Preview)
As the coffin was being lowered into the ground at a Traffic Wardens funeral, a voice from inside screams: "I'm not dead, I'm not dead. Let me out!" The Vicar smiles, leans forward sucking air through his teeth and mutters: "Too f**king late pal, I've already done the paperwork.&quo...
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Kev-Maz
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1
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874
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TRAIN TICKETS;
(Preview)
Three Australians and three Maoris are travelling by train to a Rugby match at the World Cup in England. At the station, the three Aussies each buy a ticket and watch as the three Maoris buy just one ticket between them. "How are the three of you going to travel on only one ticket?" asks one of t...
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justcruisin01
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0
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783
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INNER PEACE;
(Preview)
> This morning, I read about a doctor who says the way to achieve inner > peace is to finish all the things you have started. So I looked around > my house to see things I'd started and hadn't finished. > > Since then, I have managed to finish off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle > of Chardonna...
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justcruisin01
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0
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776
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UPSET WIFE;
(Preview)
UPSET WIFE She came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman. The wife was VERY upset! 'You are a disrespectful pig!' she cried. 'How dare you do this to me a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce straight aw...
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justcruisin01
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0
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887
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Will You Live to see 80?
(Preview)
Will You Live to see 80? Here's something to think about. I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and exhaustive Lab tests, he said I was doing 'fairly well' for my age. (I just reached 70). A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, 'Do you think I'll liv...
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gerard gue
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1
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734
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No Bombing
(Preview)
Apparently a life guard has been given the sack from a local pool. Authorities claimed his conduct was poor and racist when he refused entry to a person of middle eastern appearance while pointing to the "No Bombing" sign.
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DandS
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1
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635
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Part in a Play
(Preview)
A small boy rushes home from school and says "Dad, I've got the best part in the school play, Im going to be a man who has been married for 25 years." His Dad looks at him and replies, "Never mind Son. Maybe next time you'll get a speaking part !!"
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DandS
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1
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666
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Quick answer
(Preview)
A high school teacher informed the class that there would no excuses for not being present for the next day's exams. Unless there is a nuclear explosion, you will be at school tomorrow. A smart arse 15yr old said, "What if I am suffering from sexual exhaustion miss?" After all the laughter d...
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Magnarc
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2
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734
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swine flu warning.
(Preview)
If you get an email telling you that you can catch swine 'flu from tins of ham then delete it. It's spam.
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HOOK
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4
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993
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brilliant;
(Preview)
. A Kiwi Muslim was caught having sex with a sheep today. He said it was islamb and he could do what he wanted with it.
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justcruisin01
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3
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879
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Brain #arts
(Preview)
I hope this has copyed over all right. BRAIN FARTS : CLICK
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reglynn
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3
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715
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