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Dear Diary
(Preview)
Dear Diary, Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive double pane energy-efficient kinds. Then, this week I got a call from the contractor who installed them. He was complaining that the work had been completed a whole year ago and I still hadn't paid for them. Now just becau...
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Hoodathunkit
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0
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720
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THE GUNFIGHTER...
(Preview)
THE GUNFIGHTER... A young cowboy, sitting in a saloon one Saturday night, recognized an elderly man standing at the bar who, in his day, had been the fastest gun in the West. The young cowboy took a place next to the ol'-timer, bought him a drink and told him of his ambition to be a great shot... "Cou...
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Hoodathunkit
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0
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852
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Exercise
(Preview)
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rockylizard
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1
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812
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LARRY;
(Preview)
The math teacher saw that Larry wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said, Larry! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44? Larry quickly replied, NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network! Larry's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked...
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justcruisin01
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1
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884
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LONDON CABBIE;
(Preview)
London Cabbie A devout Muslim entered a black cab in London. He curtly asked the cabbie to turn off the radio because as decreed by his religious teaching, he must not listen to music because in the time of the prophet there was no music, and certainly not Western music which is the music of the infidel....
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justcruisin01
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5
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1164
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Still Celebrating!!!
(Preview)
I took the wife to a disco at the weekend. There was a guy on the dance floor giving it everything he had; breakdancing, moonwalking, back flips, the works. My wife turned to me and said, "See that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down." I said, "Looks like he's still cel...
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barina
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0
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745
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A good Catholic Joke……………
(Preview)
... The Pope and Australia's prime minister Julia Gillard are on the same stage at the MCG in front of a huge crowd. The Pope leans towards Ms Gillard and said, "Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary displa...
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sucastja
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2
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1034
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Panites on a plane
(Preview)
There were three black ladies getting ready to take a plane trip for the first time. The first lady said, "I don't know bout y'al but I'm gunna wear me sum hot pink panties beefo I gets on dat plane."Why you gonna wear dem fo ?" the other two asked.The first replied, "Cause, if dat p...
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Hoodathunkit
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0
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902
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Very Impressive
(Preview)
A lonely widow, aged 70, decided that it was time to get married again. She put an ad in the local paper that read: HUSBAND WANTED: MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (70's), MUST NOT BEAT ME, MUST NOT RUN AROUND ON ME & MUST STILL BE GOOD IN BED!!!!! ALL APPLICANTS PLEASE APPLY IN PERSON. On the second day, she hear...
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Hoodathunkit
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0
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760
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Two Little Boys
(Preview)
Subject: Fw: Two little boys Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, are excessively mischievous. They are always getting into trouble and their parents know all about it. If any mischief occurs in their town, the two boys are probably involved. The boys' mother heard that a preacher in town had been success...
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Hoodathunkit
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0
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863
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How Old
(Preview)
Bob a 70 year old extremely wealthy widower shows up at the country club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very sexy 25 year old blonde-haired woman who knocks everyones's socks off with her youthful looks and charm. She hangs over Bob's arm and listens intently to his every word. His mates at the cl...
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Beatle
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1
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913
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Tourists
(Preview)
A group of Americans were travelling by tour bus through Holland. As they stopped at a cheese farm a young guide led them through the process of cheese making explaining that goats milk was used. She showed the group a lovely hillside where many goats were grazing. "These " she explained &q...
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Beatle
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0
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803
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SEX FROGS;
(Preview)
A blonde goes to her local pet store in search of an 'exotic' pet. As she looks about the store, she notices a box FULL of frogs. The sign says: 'SEX FROGS' Only £20each! Comes with 'complete' instructions. The girl excitedly looks around to see if anybody's watching her. She whispers softly to Pe...
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justcruisin01
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0
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884
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GOLF;
(Preview)
The Golfer playing in Ireland hookedhis drive into the woods. Looking for his ball,he found a littleLeprechaun flat on his back, a big bump on his head and the golfer'sball beside him. Horrified, the golfer got his water bottle fromthe cart and poured it over the little guy,reviving him. 'Arrgh! Wh...
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justcruisin01
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0
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947
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Simple Truth
(Preview)
SIMPLE TRUTH 1 Partners help each other undress before sex. However after sex, they always dress on their own. Moral of the story: In life, no one helps you once you're screwed. SIMPLE TRUTH 2 When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch the stomach and saying "congrats". But, none of the...
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Roving-Dutchy
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0
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768
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Talking Dog
(Preview)
A young jackaroo from outback Queensland goes off to university, but Halfway through the semester he foolishly has squandered all of his money. He calls home. 'Dad,' he says, 'you won't believe what modern education is developing.. They actually have a program here in Brisbane that will teach our...
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Palebushman
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0
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907
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Side Effects
(Preview)
A TOUGH OLD COWBOY FROM SOUTH TEXAS COUNSELED HIS GRANDDAUGHTER THAT IF SHE WANTED TO LIVE A LONG LIFE, THE SECRET WAS TO SPRINKLE A PINCH OF GUN POWDER ON HER OATMEAL EVERY MORNING. THE GRANDDAUGHTER DID THIS RELIGIOUSLY TO THE AGE OF 103 WHEN SHE DIED. SHE LEFT BEHIN...
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Hoodathunkit
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1
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907
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WHAT'S IN A NAME?
(Preview)
In pharmacology, all drugs have two names,A trade name & a generic name. For example, the trade name of penadole also has a generic name of paracetamol. Amoxil is also Amoxicillin & nurofen is Ibufrofin. The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After carefull consideration by...
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justcruisin01
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2
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1099
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The Alice
(Preview)
I saw a bumper sticker on a parked car in Sydney that read - 'I miss Alice Springs'. So I broke the windows, took the wireless and left half a dozen empty VB tinnies on the front seat with note that read, 'I hope this helps.'
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rockylizard
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0
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742
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Tea
(Preview)
A man goes for a job on a building site. The foreman says, "Can you brew tea?" The man nods. "Good" says the foreman. "Can you drive a fork lift?" "Why?" says the man. "How big is the teapot?"
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rockylizard
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0
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739
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