Just Joking

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

Two IRISHMEN were looking at a Mail order catalogue and admiring the models. One said to the other, 'Have you seen the beautiful girls in this catalogue?' The second one replies, 'Yes, they are very beautiful. And look at their price!'The first one says, with wide eyes, 'Wow, they aren't very...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

Two old guys talking. One said to the other: "My 85th birthday was yesterday. The wife gave me a SUV". Other guy: "Wow, that's amazing! Imagine, a SUV! What a great gift!" First guy: "Yup- Socks, Underwear and Viagra!"

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

A blonde gets home from work early and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. She rushes upstairs only to find her husband naked lying on the bed, sweating and panting. 'What's up?' she asks. 'I think I'm having a heart attack,' - cries the husband. The blonde rushes downstairs to grab the phone...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

In a crowded city at a busy bus stop, a woman who was waiting for a bus was wearing a tight leather skirt. As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus. Slightly embarrassed and with a quick sm...

Duh · Duh

THE MOST FUNCTIONAL ENGLISH WORD (PS: Ok, so I can't spell for shirt) Well, it's shirt .... that's right, shirt! Shirt may just be the most functional word in the English language. You can smoke shirt, buy shirt, sell shirt, lose shirt, find shirt, forget shirt and Tell others to eat shirt. Some peo...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

A man in Scotland calls his son in London the day before Christmas Eve and says, "I hate to ruin your day but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough". "Dad, what are you talking about?'" the son screams. "We can't stand th...

barina · barina

Lovemaking Tips For Seniors 1. Wear your glasses to make sure your partner is actually in the bed. 2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle. 3. Set the mood with lighting. (Turn them ALL OFF!) 4. Make sure you put 000 on your speed dial before you begin. 5. Write partner's name on your ha...

rockylizard · rockylizard

Beatle · Beatle

A four-year old boy goes into the toilet and takes his favourite picture book with him. He seems to be in there for a long time so his mum peeks in on him. He is on the toilet and calmly flipping the pages- then he stops, puts the book down, grabs the edge of the seat with one hand and pounds himself on the head w...

gerard gue · gerard gue

SCOTTISH BAR STOOL FOR KILTS

jules47 · jules47

No English dictionary has been able to adequately explain the difference between the two words COMPLETE and FINISHED, in a way that is easy to understand. Some people say there is no difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED. However, there is a difference. When you marry the right woman, you are COM...

gerard gue · gerard gue

NEW VIRUS There is a dangerous virus being passed electronically, orally and by hand. This virus is called Worm-Overload-Recreational-Killer (WORK). If you receive WORK from any of your colleagues, your staff or anyone else via any means, do not touch it. This virus will wipe out your private life...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

NO SEX SINCE 1955 A crusty old Army Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation. 'Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

A little silver-haired lady calls her neighbour and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started." Her neighbour asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?" The little silver haired ladysays, "...

gerard gue · gerard gue

THIS IS HAPPENING RIGHT HERE IN OUR OWN COUNTRY! We Must Stop This Immediately! Have you noticed that stairs are getting steeper. Groceries are heavier. And, everything is further away. Yesterday I walked to the corner and I was dumbfounded to discover how long our street had bec...

Basil Faulty · Basil Faulty

Cancel your credit card before you die..........(hilarious!) Now some people are really stupid!!!! Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die. This is so priceless, and so, so easy to see happening, customer service being what it is today. A lady died this past January, and Citibank bi...

Hoodathunkit · Hoodathunkit

The novel "Fifty Shades Of Grey" has seduced women - and baffled blokes. Now a book,FiftyShedsOf Grey, offers a treat for the men. The book has author Colin Grey recounting his love encounters at the bottom of the garden. Here are some extracts... FiftyShedsOf Grey We tried various posit...

Duh · Duh

This is funny, been around before but still funny to hear again, sound needed, see; http://www.youtube.com/embed/2kpjnGWPmj0

petengail · petengail

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Av3jaPlZHM

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

Oil Change instructions for Women: 1) Drive into Ultra Tune when the odometer reaches 10,000 kilometres since the last oil change. 2) Drink a cup of coffee, read free paper. 3) 15 minutes later, write a cheque and leave with a properly maintained vehicle. Money spent: Oil Change: $40.00 Coffee: $2.0...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	MAIL ORDER; (Preview) Two IRISHMEN were looking at a Mail order catalogue and admiring the models. One said to the other, 'Have you seen the beautiful girls in this catalogue?' The second one replies, 'Yes, they are very beautiful. And look at their price!'The first one says, with wide eyes, 'Wow, they aren't very...	justcruisin01	0	726	04:46 AM Nov 29, 2012 by justcruisin01
	BIRTHDAY GIFT; (Preview) Two old guys talking. One said to the other: "My 85th birthday was yesterday. The wife gave me a SUV". Other guy: "Wow, that's amazing! Imagine, a SUV! What a great gift!" First guy: "Yup- Socks, Underwear and Viagra!"	justcruisin01	0	743	04:45 AM Nov 29, 2012 by justcruisin01
	A BLONDE MOMENT; (Preview) A blonde gets home from work early and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. She rushes upstairs only to find her husband naked lying on the bed, sweating and panting. 'What's up?' she asks. 'I think I'm having a heart attack,' - cries the husband. The blonde rushes downstairs to grab the phone...	justcruisin01	0	714	04:53 AM Nov 28, 2012 by justcruisin01
	THE ZIPPER; (Preview) In a crowded city at a busy bus stop, a woman who was waiting for a bus was wearing a tight leather skirt. As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus. Slightly embarrassed and with a quick sm...	justcruisin01	0	839	04:51 AM Nov 28, 2012 by justcruisin01
	The Most Functional Word In The English Language (Preview) THE MOST FUNCTIONAL ENGLISH WORD (PS: Ok, so I can't spell for shirt) Well, it's shirt .... that's right, shirt! Shirt may just be the most functional word in the English language. You can smoke shirt, buy shirt, sell shirt, lose shirt, find shirt, forget shirt and Tell others to eat shirt. Some peo...	Duh	0	806	03:54 AM Nov 28, 2012 by Duh
	CHRISTMAS JOKE; (Preview) A man in Scotland calls his son in London the day before Christmas Eve and says, "I hate to ruin your day but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough". *"Dad, what are you talking about?'" the son screams.* *"We can't stand th...*	justcruisin01	0	607	05:30 AM Nov 27, 2012 by justcruisin01
	Lovemaking tips for oldies!!! (Preview) Lovemaking Tips For Seniors 1. Wear your glasses to make sure your partner is actually in the bed. 2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle. 3. Set the mood with lighting. (Turn them ALL OFF!) 4. Make sure you put 000 on your speed dial before you begin. 5. Write partner's name on your ha...	barina	0	1095	04:38 AM Nov 27, 2012 by barina
	Why cats have nine lives ! (Preview)	rockylizard	1	796	04:29 AM Nov 26, 2012 by Pam
	Tomato Sauce (Preview) A four-year old boy goes into the toilet and takes his favourite picture book with him. He seems to be in there for a long time so his mum peeks in on him. He is on the toilet and calmly flipping the pages- then he stops, puts the book down, grabs the edge of the seat with one hand and pounds himself on the head w...	Beatle	2	778	06:20 AM Nov 25, 2012 by HOOK
	ONLY IN SCOTLAND (Preview) *SCOTTISH BAR STOOL FOR KILTS*	gerard gue	1	858	05:11 AM Nov 22, 2012 by Boothie
	English Dictionary (Preview) No English dictionary has been able to adequately explain the difference between the two words COMPLETE and FINISHED, in a way that is easy to understand. Some people say there is no difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED. However, there is a difference. When you marry the right woman, you are COM...	jules47	2	752	05:06 AM Nov 22, 2012 by Boothie
	VIRUS (Preview) NEW VIRUS There is a dangerous virus being passed electronically, orally and by hand. This virus is called Worm-Overload-Recreational-Killer (WORK). If you receive WORK from any of your colleagues, your staff or anyone else via any means, do not touch it. This virus will wipe out your private life...	gerard gue	3	941	04:59 AM Nov 22, 2012 by Boothie
	NO SEX!!!!!! (Preview) NO SEX SINCE 1955 A crusty old Army Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation. 'Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to...	justcruisin01	0	1186	03:19 AM Nov 21, 2012 by justcruisin01
	JIGSAW: (Preview) A little silver-haired lady calls her neighbour and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started." Her neighbour asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?" The little silver haired ladysays, "...	justcruisin01	0	740	03:17 AM Nov 21, 2012 by justcruisin01
	Conspiracy Theory (Preview) THIS IS HAPPENING RIGHT HERE IN OUR OWN COUNTRY! We Must Stop This Immediately! Have you noticed that stairs are getting steeper. Groceries are heavier. And, everything is further away. Yesterday I walked to the corner and I was dumbfounded to discover how long our street had bec...	gerard gue	0	748	02:41 AM Nov 21, 2012 by gerard gue
	Cancel your credit cartds BEFORE you die... (Preview) Cancel your credit card before you die..........(hilarious!) Now some people are really stupid!!!! Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die. This is so priceless, and so, so easy to see happening, customer service being what it is today. A lady died this past January, and Citibank bi...	Basil Faulty	4	1601	08:20 PM Nov 20, 2012 by Pinto
	Fifty Sheds of Grey !!! (Preview) The novel "Fifty Shades Of Grey" has seduced women - and baffled blokes. Now a book,FiftyShedsOf Grey, offers a treat for the men. The book has author Colin Grey recounting his love encounters at the bottom of the garden. Here are some extracts... FiftyShedsOf Grey We tried various posit...	Hoodathunkit	2	866	03:31 PM Nov 20, 2012 by mongrel
	Trevor's Folding Chair (Sound Needed) (Preview) This is funny, been around before but still funny to hear again, sound needed, see; http://www.youtube.com/embed/2kpjnGWPmj0	Duh	0	841	03:46 AM Nov 19, 2012 by Duh
	How to jump a caravan or four (Preview) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Av3jaPlZHM	petengail	0	672	03:30 AM Nov 17, 2012 by petengail
	OIL CHANGE; (Preview) Oil Change instructions for Women: 1) Drive into Ultra Tune when the odometer reaches 10,000 kilometres since the last oil change. 2) Drink a cup of coffee, read free paper. 3) 15 minutes later, write a cheque and leave with a properly maintained vehicle. Money spent: Oil Change: $40.00 Coffee: $2.0...	justcruisin01	1	975	05:59 PM Nov 16, 2012 by Pinto
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