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The keys..
(Preview)
The keys."Several days ago as I left the Bunnings in Rocky, to walk out to my ute and was reaching into my pocket from my car keys... got that sick feeling when I didn't find them there. I desperately gave myself a personal pat down, other pockets, shirt pocket, not there. Turned around real fast and trot...
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aussie_paul
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0
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598
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Weather
(Preview)
I asked permission to post this and was never denied.
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Craig1
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0
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623
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A platoon of soldiers..
(Preview)
A platoon of soldiers was patrolling north of Fallujah when they came upon an Isis terrorist, badly injured and unconscious.On the opposite side of the road was an Australian soldier in a similar, but less serious, state.The soldier was conscious and alert and as first aid was given to both men, the P...
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aussie_paul
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1
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1035
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"George and the Dragon."
(Preview)
"George and the Dragon." a vagabond, tired and hungry, was trudging along a country road in England when he came upon a roadside inn called "George and the Dragon."He knocked on the door.The innkeeper's wife stuck her head out of a window."Could ye spare some food please?" he asked.The woman looked a...
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aussie_paul
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0
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657
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Don't want to go to school
(Preview)
Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son. "Wake up, son. It's time to go to school!" "But why, Mom? I don't want to go." "Give me two reasons why you don't want to go." "Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!" "Oh, that's no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get r...
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anolphart
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0
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485
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Constipation.
(Preview)
A bartender is waiting for closing time at his pub so he can lock up, and go home. Its a slow night and he has no customers.He hears a light knock at the back door, opens it, and there are 2 nuns there. One says, Mr Bartender, can we impose upon you for a wee favor? Certainly, Sister, what is it?Well, its not f...
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Gundog
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2
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861
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If you ever feel a little bit stupid..
(Preview)
If you ever feel a little bit stupid, just dig this up and read it again; you'll begin to think you're a genius..,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,(On September 17, 1994, Alabama's Heather Whitestone was selected as Miss America 1995.)Question: If you could live fore...
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aussie_paul
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2
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624
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Wrong subject
(Preview)
Comedy - Misunderstanding an Asian Australian talking to his Mum.
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Bobdown
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1
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669
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Holly Leaf for Christmas protocol
(Preview)
Why is the Holly Leaf used for Christmas. It has sharp edges so was not used to wipe your bum.
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Whenarewethere
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0
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553
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An old guy..
(Preview)
An old guy was working out at the gym when he spotted a young hot girl walking in.He asked the trainer standing next to him, "What machine should I use to impress that girl over there?"The trainer looked him up and down and said;"I would recommend the ATM in the lobby."
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aussie_paul
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0
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558
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Teacher..
(Preview)
Teacher: If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have? Johnny: Seven. Teacher: No, listen carefully If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have? Johnny: Seven. Teacher: Let me put it to you differently If I gave you two apples, and an...
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aussie_paul
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1
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848
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Men will never learn…
(Preview)
A woman runs a red traffic light and crashes into a mans car. Both of their cars are demolished but, amazingly, neither of them is hurt.After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says; Wow, just look at our cars! Theres nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we sho...
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aussie_paul
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0
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605
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Odd ode4
(Preview)
There was a young man from Westphalia, Who painted his ass like a dahlia, The colour was fine, Likewise the design, The aroma- ah, that was a failia.
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Magnarc
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0
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667
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have a giggle
(Preview)
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Gundog
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3
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821
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Odd ode.
(Preview)
There once was a fellow from Lorne, Who wished that he'd never been born, He wouldn't have been if his pappy had seen, That the end of his franger was torn.
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Magnarc
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10
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1050
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Odd ode3
(Preview)
In the Garden of Eden lay Adam, Complacently stroking his madam, Loud was his mirth, For he knew that on earth, There were only two balls- and he had 'em.
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Magnarc
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1
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502
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Odd ode2
(Preview)
There was a young sailor called Bates, Who danced the fandango on skates, But a fall on his cutlass, Rendered him nutless, And practically useless on dates/
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Magnarc
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2
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737
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Quickies
(Preview)
Low Battery: A man saved his girlfriend's phone number on his mobile as 'Low Battery'. Whenever she calls him, in his absence, his wife takes the phone and plugs it into the charger. Give that man a medal Government Survey: A government survey has shown that 91 percent of illegal immigrants come...
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Bobdown
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1
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697
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Deserved it..
(Preview)
Child-Bride: I've got splinters in my hand from that old broom.Me: Well you're silly - why didn't you take the car?Doc reckons I'll be able to see out of my right eye soon.
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aussie_paul
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0
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730
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Redneck Vasectomy. 🙂
(Preview)
After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough, as they could not afford a larger bed.So the husband went to his ...veterinarian and told him that he and his cousin didn't want to have any more children.The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that cou...
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aussie_paul
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0
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555
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