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At The Bar...
(Preview)
I pointed to two old drunks across the bar from us and told my mate, "That'll be us in another 10 years."He said, "That's a mirror, you dickhead."
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Big Gorilla
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0
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674
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Texting for seniors
(Preview)
* ATD- At the Doctor's * BFF - Best Friends Funeral * BTW- Bring the Wheelchair * BYOT - Bring Your Own Teeth * CBM- Covered by Medicare * CUATSC- See You at the Senior Center * DWI- Driving While Incontinent * FWIW - Forgot Where I Was * GGPBL- Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low * GHA - Got Heartburn Again * HGB...
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barina
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0
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667
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Sign language
(Preview)
Two deaf people get married. During the first week of marriage, they find that they are unable to communicate in the bedroom when they turn off the lights because they can't see each other using sign language. After several nights of fumbling around and misunderstandings, the wife decides to find a s...
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Pinto
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0
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605
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Wrong answer
(Preview)
WIFE: What would you do if I died? Would you get married again? HUSBAND: Definitely not! WIFE: Why not - don't you like being married? HUSBAND: Of course I do. WIFE: Then why wouldn't you remarry? HUSBAND: Okay, I'd get married again. WIFE: You would? (With a hurtful look on her face). HUSBAND: (Mak...
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clazandaza
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0
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685
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Born To Be Wild
(Preview)
Just click on the link: http://www.newsday.com/polopoly_fs/1.235372.1243574086%21menu/standard/file/ny-walt-baby-boomers.swf
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Big Gorilla
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1
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862
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password.
(Preview)
A woman is trying to help her husband to install his new computer. Once the installation is completed, she told her husband that he must choose a password. A word he remembered because he needs to start its next session. The man, a bit macho ... trying to pass a message to his wife, chooses his passwor...
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gerard gue
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0
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642
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CLOCK REPAIRS ?
(Preview)
A man inherited a a very old clock from his grandparents, it was in very good condition, However it was losing time and needed adjusting ?? So he went down to the local watchmaker shop, And was very impressed by the lovely looking young lady behind the counter. He asked ! Do you do Clock repairs here ?? sh...
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dazren
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2
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726
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The Perfect Wine Glass
(Preview)
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tcp99
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1
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665
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Some advice from my UK friend...
(Preview)
A government warning last night said that anyone travelling in icy conditions should take a shovel, blankets or sleeping bag, extra clothing including a scarf hat and gloves. Also a 24 hour supply of food and drink, a de-icer, rock salt, torch & spare batteries. In addition they should take a Saf...
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rockylizard
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2
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725
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not allowed to go shopping anymore
(Preview)
My trip to the IGA Store!... There was a bit of confusion at the IGA store this morning. When I was ready to pay for my purchases of groceries the cashier said, "Strip down, facing me." Making a mental note that I complain to her boss and the IGA franchise people I did just as she had instructed....
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Pete49
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0
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652
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TWO DROPS OF WATER;
(Preview)
'Scotch, with two drops of water please.'~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship And orders a Scotch with two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says 'I'm on this cruise to celebrate My 80th birthday and it's today.' The bartend...
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justcruisin01
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0
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955
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THE AUTHORITY
(Preview)
> Jerome is at the bar with his friend Matthew. > He takes his phone and calls his wife Clemence a very dry tone: > - Hello, yes, prepare hot water, I will soon return. > Then he hangs up. > His friend, admiring, said: > - Oh you, you're a real man! This is how it should talk to women with a...
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gerard gue
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0
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676
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good citizen
(Preview)
edited with apologies -- Edited by 2weis on Friday 11th of January 2013 04:53:12 PM -- Edited by 2weis on Friday 11th of January 2013 05:36:52 PM
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2weis
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1
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741
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the Koran
(Preview)
A Muslim bloke was bragging that he had the entire Koran on DVD. Being interested, I asked him to burn a copy for me. . . . . Well, talk about getting upset!!!!!
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spida
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0
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814
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GEN -Y ;
(Preview)
Ain't it the truth!!! They are referred to as homo slackass-erectus created by natural genetic downward evolution through constant spineless posturing and spasmodic upper limb gestures, which new research has shown to cause shorter legs and an inability to ambulate other than in an awkwar...
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justcruisin01
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2
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671
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A question of ethics
(Preview)
A son asks his lawyer father about ethics. "Suppose son, that one day a gentleman comes into my office with a simple question. Upon answering the man's question, I charge him $100.00. He is outraged at the bill for such a simple question but agrees to pay. The man reaches in his wallet and grabs a h...
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rockylizard
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0
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837
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MY GOD LOL
(Preview)
FIVE CATHOLICS Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee in St. Peters Square , Rome . The first Catholic man tells his friends, "My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, Everyone calls him 'Father'." ... The second Catholic man chirps, "My son is a Bishop.When he w...
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lilly31
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2
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1056
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REVEREND JOHN FLAPPS ;
(Preview)
The Reverend John Flapps was the pastor of a small town church in Ireland .. One day he was walking down the High Street and he noticed a young lady of his congregation sitting in a pubdrinking beer. The Reverend wasn't happy. He walked through the opendoor of the pub and sat down next to the woman. 'MrsFi...
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justcruisin01
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4
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857
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THE ORIGINAL COMPUTOR;
(Preview)
try explaining this to your grand-kids!) Memory was something you lost with age An application was for employment A program was a TV show A cursor used profanity A keyboard was a piano A web was a spider's home A virus was the flu A CD was a bank account A hard drive was a long trip on the road A mouse pad was w...
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justcruisin01
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1
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829
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What's good for the goose ?
(Preview)
Although they enjoyed their new caravan together, it was the husband who was the one who parked the van in parks. He was concerned about what might happen in an emergency. So one day he said to his wife, "Please take the wheel, dear, pretend that I am having a heart attack; You must get the van safel...
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rockylizard
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0
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687
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