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MY SATNAV
(Preview)
For all my fellow travellers: MY SATNAV I have a little Satnav It sits there in my car A Satnav is a driver's friend It tells you where you are I have a little Satnav I've had it all my life It does more than the normal one My Satnav is my wife It gives me full instructions On exactly how to drive "It's th...
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Cruising Granny
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0
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784
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I am being brave.
(Preview)
Women like silent men, they think they are listening.
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Peterpan
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2
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872
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Best Bar Joke ever
(Preview)
Guy goes into a bar, there's a robot bartender. The robot says, "What will you have?" The guy says, "Schooner of New" The robot brings back the best beer ever and says to the man, "What's your IQ?" The guy says," 168." The...
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hammer
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4
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1410
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The Admin Chick
(Preview)
A big mining company recently hired several cannibals. 'You are all part of our team now', said the HR manager during the welcoming briefing. 'You get all the usual benefits and you can go to the cafeteria for something to eat, but please don't eat any of the other employees'. The cannibals promised th...
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hammer
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1
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901
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grey nomad pick up line.
(Preview)
Grey nomad is in a bar and sees a nice lady about the same age. "would you like a glass " he says. "yes" she says. "I need one toput my teeth in!" Loa. Bill
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bill12
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1
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1031
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This is your Captain speaking
(Preview)
Shortly after a British Airways flight had reached its cruising altitude, the captain announced: 'Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your Captain. Welcome to Flight 293, non-stop from London Heathrow to Toronto . The weather ahead is good, so we should have a smooth uneventful flight...
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hammer
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0
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784
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to be sure
(Preview)
Paddy and Murphy are working on a building site. Paddy says to Murphy "I'm gonna have the day off. I'm gonna pretend I'm mad!" He climbs up the rafters, hangs upside down and shouts "I'M A LIGHT BULB! I'M A LIGHT BULB!" Murphy watches in amazement! The Foreman shouts &qu...
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barina
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0
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828
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Happy Life! If only.
(Preview)
FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW TO A HAPPY LIFE: 1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, cooks from time to time, cleans up, and has a job. 2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh. 3. It's important to have a woman who you can trust, and doesn't lie to you. 4. It's important to have a wo...
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jimbo
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0
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765
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Design mishap
(Preview)
While creating women, God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world. And then He smiled and made the earth round
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barina
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0
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773
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Another Hypnotist
(Preview)
I was at a show over th w/end . This bloke had seven blokes hypnotised . Had them doing all sorts of Weird & funny thingo's He dropped his microphone . Said ---- me!!! What happened next , will stay with me for th rest of my life. Richo
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Zoomtopz
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589
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I bequeath you!!!!!!!
(Preview)
A BLOKE SAT IN HIS ARMCHAIR AND SHOUTS TO HIS WIFE, "WHEN I DIE I'M GOING TO LEAVE EVERYTHING TO YOU LOVE!" SHE SHOUTS BACK, "YOU ALREADY DO, YOU LAZY B*****D!!"
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barina
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0
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764
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SPREAD THE STUPIDITY
(Preview)
Why do supermarkets make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. Why do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke. Why do banks leave vault doors open and then chain the pens to the coun...
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gerard gue
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883
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A Lecture!!!!
(Preview)
An elderly man was stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and was asked where he was going at that time of night.The man replied, "I'm on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late." The officer then asked, "Really...
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barina
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0
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823
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special breed of dogs indeed !!!!!
(Preview)
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gerard gue
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1
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688
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The Hypnotist.....
(Preview)
It was entertainment night at the local Senior Citizens Centre. Claude the hypnotist explained: "I'm here to put you into a trance; I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience." The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch...
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barina
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1
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756
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IRISH PAINTER;
(Preview)
A painter by the name of Paddy Murphy, while not a brilliant scholar, was a gifted portrait artist. Over a short number of years, his fame grew and soon people from all over Ireland were coming to him in the town of Doolin, County Clare, to get him to paint their likenesses. One day, a beautiful young Engl...
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justcruisin01
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1
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956
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THE NIGHT NURSE;
(Preview)
The Night Nurse A very tired nurse walks into a bank, totally exhausted after an 18-hour shift. Preparing to write a cheque, she pulls a rectal thermometer out of her purse and tries to write with it. When she realizes her mistake, she looks at the flabbergasted teller, and without missing a beat, she s...
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justcruisin01
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0
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912
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A PICKUP LINE;
(Preview)
A bloke was standing at a bar and a beautiful woman was beside him so he leans over and says... "You remind me of my little toe" She replies, "What?... You Mean I'm small and cute?" He says "No, I`ll probably bang you on the coffee table later when I'm drunk"
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justcruisin01
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0
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654
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IRISH WOMEN;
(Preview)
TWO IRISH WOMEN IN A BAR Two women were sitting next to each other in a bar. After a while, one looks at the other and says, 'I can't Help but think, from listening to you, that you're from Ireland .....' The other woman responds proudly, 'Yes, I sure am!' The first one says, 'So am I! And whereabouts in Ire...
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justcruisin01
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0
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877
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heaven
(Preview)
Harry and Wanda were 85 years old and had been married for sixty years. Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by because Harry watched their pennies. Though not young, they were both in very good health, largely due to Wanda's insistence on healthy foods and exercise for the last decade. O...
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Cowboy7307
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0
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817
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