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Smile
(Preview)
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rockylizard
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0
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696
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Memory Problems
(Preview)
A few old couples used to get together to talk about life and to have a good time. One day one of the men, Harry, started talking about this fantastic restaurant he went to the other night with his wife. Really?, one of the men said, whats it called? After thinking for a few seconds the Harry said, what are t...
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tcp99
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795
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It's called progress.
(Preview)
As we are progressing towards the end of 2012, I want to thank you all for your educational e-mails over the past year. I am totally screwed up now and have little chance of recovery. I can no longer open a bathroom door without using a paper towel, nor let the waitress put lemon slices in my ice water witho...
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Peterpan
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0
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857
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OMG Cute
(Preview)
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tcp99
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0
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957
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How is Norma?
(Preview)
A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph 's Hospital. She timidly asked, "Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?" The operator said, "I'll be glad to help, dear. What's the name and room number of the patient?" The grandmother in...
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sarg
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1
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839
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What If
(Preview)
-- Edited by tcp99 on Wednesday 26th of September 2012 01:19:58 AM
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tcp99
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0
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713
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Paraprosdokians
(Preview)
It's raining today and I'm a tad bored - so this is from one of my fav websites: PARAPROSDOKIANS (Winston Churchill loved them) are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected and frequently humorous: 1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it. 2. The la...
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nomadic1
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1
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831
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IRISH AGAIN.
(Preview)
Due to a water shortage in Ireland, Dublin swimming baths have announced they are closing lanes 7 and 8.... I got a letter from Screw Fix Direct thanking me for my interest, but explaining they were not a dating agency... Paddy thought his new girlfriend might be the one but after looking through h...
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sarg
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0
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1029
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Scottish Wedding
(Preview)
Two Glaswegians, Archie and Jimmy, are sitting in the pub discussing Jimmy's forthcoming wedding. "Och, it's all goin' pure brilliant," says Jimmy. "Ay've got everythin' organised ulriddy, the fluers, the Kirk, the mootor caurs, the recuption, the rings, the minister, even...
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sarg
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0
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568
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IRISH 000
(Preview)
The IRISH 000 CALL An Irish woman is cleaning her husbands rifle and accidentally shoots him. She immediately dials 000. Irish woman: ''It's my fooken husband!I've accidentally shot him, I've fooken killed him!'' Operator: ''Please calm down Mam. Can you first make sure he is actually dead!'' *c...
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sarg
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0
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709
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Product Loyalty
(Preview)
Product Loyalty A new supermarket opened near my house. It has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain. When you pass the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and you experience the scent of fresh mown hay. I...
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jules47
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2
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965
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The Fart that (almost) altered destiny
(Preview)
THE FART THAT (ALMOST) ALTERED MY DESTINY Written by Anna. Posted in Marriage Like everything in life, farts have a time and place. However, I never realized that in the wrong time and place, flatulence had enough power to alter my course in history. Well, it can if its the third date with the man of yo...
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sucastja
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2
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1400
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how I start fights
(Preview)
& then it started besides , mirrors don't lie . I can get away with this at home at th moment. I'm 'home alone' , "herself" is in America . Richo.
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Zoomtopz
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1
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754
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What Confucius did not say!
(Preview)
What Confucius did not say!CONFUCIUS DID NOT SAY... Man who wants pretty nurse, must be patient. Passionate kiss, like spider web, leads to undoing of fly. Lady who goes camping must beware of evil intent. Squirrel who runs up woman's leg will not find nuts. Man who leaps off cliff jumps to conclusi...
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gerard gue
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1
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709
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Happy Dogs
(Preview)
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tcp99
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1
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1473
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The Man Rules
(Preview)
PLEASE NOTE: I did not write these, but I paste them here as a community service. We always hear "the rules" From the female side.. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered "1 " ON PURPOSE! 1.Men are NOT mind readers. 1. Le...
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Rip and Rosie
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0
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724
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My Satnav
(Preview)
We have a little Satnav It sits there in our car A Satnav is the driver's friend It tells you where you are. I have a little Satnav I've had it Most of my life It does more than the normal one My Satnav is my wife. It gives me full instructions On exactly how to drive "It's thirty miles an hour" it say...
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Rip and Rosie
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0
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737
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Heaven
(Preview)
I was testing children in my Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting into heaven. I asked them, "If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale, and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into heaven?" "NO!" the children answered. "...
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Rip and Rosie
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0
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576
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Cashing a cheque ?/
(Preview)
Julia Gillard walked into the NAB to cash a cheque. As she approached the cashier she said "Good morning , could you please cash this cheque for me"? Cashier: "It would be my pleasure Madam. Could you please show me your ID?" Gillard: "Well I didnt bring my ID with me as I didn...
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dazren
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1
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878
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The short man
(Preview)
A dwarf waks in to a tall woman, He did not know if he'd had a crack in the mouth or a box around his ears
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Cowboy7307
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1
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728
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