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The 12:15 to Stanthorpe Has Been Cancelled
(Preview)
If toast always lands butter-side down and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast to the back of a cat and drop itI went to a karaoke bar last night that didnt play any Seventies music. At first I was afraid. Oh, I was petrifiedA government survey reveals the prime minister is doin...
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Grevo
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Nicknames
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I was listening to the radio this morning when the host invited callers to reveal the nick-names they had for their wives. The best call was from a brave chap who called his wife "Harvey Norman" The Host asked him why that name? He replied, "Absolutely no interest for 36 months."...
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Hurls
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Blonde Joke
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Two sisters, one blondeand one brunette, Inherit the family ranch.Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bankfrom repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bullso that they can breed their own stock. Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sis...
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Hurls
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888
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Humour web sites
(Preview)
If you see a funny sign, you might like to submit it to this web site: http://www.signspotting.com/most-popular/all-time Some good laughs here, too: http://www.engrish.com
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dorian
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678
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The World is Mine
(Preview)
*THE WORLD IS MINE - Author Unknown Today, upon a bus, I saw a very beautiful woman And wished I were as beautiful. When suddenly she rose to leave, I saw her hobble down the aisle. She had one leg and used a crutch. But as she passed, she passed a smile. Oh, God, forgive me when I whine. I have two legs; the wor...
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Hurls
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5
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Fanny Green
(Preview)
Fanny Green An Irish man went to confession in St. Patrick's Catholic Church. 'Father', he confessed, 'it has been one month since my last confession... I had sex with Fanny Green twice last month.' The priest told the sinner, 'You are forgiven. Go out and say three Hail M...
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Hurls
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690
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Prostate Check-Up
(Preview)
Prostate check-up... An old guy goes to his doctor for his physical and gets sent to the Urologist as a precaution. When he gets there, he discovers the Urologist is a very pretty female doctor. The female doctor says, "I'm going to check your prostate today, but this new procedure is a...
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Hurls
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Good hearing
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A young man moved out from home and into a new apartment, all of his own, he went proudly down to the lobby to put his name on his mailbox. While there, a stunning young lady came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes, wearing only a robe. The boy smiled at the young woman and she started up a conversatio...
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HOOK
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3
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649
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WRONG ANSWER;
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WIFE: What would you do if I died? Would you get married again? HUSBAND: Definitely not! WIFE: Why not - don't you like being married? HUSBAND: Of course I do. WIFE: Then why wouldn't you remarry? HUSBAND: Okay, I'd get married again. WIFE: You would? (With a hurtful look on her face). HUSBAND: (Makes...
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justcruisin01
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663
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SHOULD HAVE GONE TO SPEC SAVERS;
(Preview)
FORGOT MY GLASSES .... Yesterday, my daughter again asked me why I didn't do something useful with my time.Talking about my "doing something useful" seems to be her favorite topic of conversation.She said that she was "only thinking about me", and suggested that I go down t...
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justcruisin01
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Stuttering
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A teacher's story about Stuttering A teacher is explaining biology to her 2nd grade students. "Human beings are the only animals that stutter,' she says A little girl raises her hand. 'I had a kitty-cat who stuttered.'The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, as...
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Hurls
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A Touch of Warmth
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GaryKelly
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6
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Truism
(Preview)
*The Circle of Life. What is Success? . . .* *A Simple Explanation* 1. At the age of 3, Success means : Keeping your underwear clean. 2. At the age of 12, Success means : Having friends. 3. At the age of 18, Success means : Having a driver's licence. 4. At the age of 20, Success means : Having sex. 5. At the age o...
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Magnarc
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3
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952
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The Joy of Being Self Employed
(Preview)
Subject: The Joy of being Self employed (Thought you'd like this one!) The Newfoundland Department of Employment claimed a boat owner wasn't paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent to Burin to investigate him. GOVT AGENT: "I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them.&qu...
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Hurls
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we learn as we go
(Preview)
A man met a beautiful blonde lady and decided he wanted to marry her right away. She said, 'But we don't know anything about each other.' He said, 'That's all right, we'll learn about each other as we go along. So she consented, they were married, and off they went on a honeymoon at a resort. One morning...
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sarg
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Out of the mouths of children.
(Preview)
This did not upset me, so hopefully it will not upset any members of this forum. it is one of my cherished memory and something that I will carry with me with a smile for many years .... or at least while I still remember! We were just into our annual camping trip with our 12 year old grandson, when we visite...
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chaslib
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2
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50 Shades of Grey - by Pam Ayres
(Preview)
By Pam Ayres......... So get the right rhythm. FIFTY SHADES OF GREY - (a husband's point of view)The missus bought a Paperback,Down Shepton Mallet way,I had a look inside her bag;... T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey". Well I just left her to it,And at ten I went to bed.An hour later she appe...
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nomadic1
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Zen teachings.
(Preview)
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow. In fact, just piss off and leave me alone. 2. Sex is like air. It's not that important unless you aren't getting any. 3. No one is listening until you fart. 4. Alway...
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nomadic1
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Maths Quiz
(Preview)
Subject: MATH QUIZ: Reveals your favourite movieTHIS IS TRULY AMAZING - AND WORTH THE EFFORT. MATH QUIZ: Reveals your favourite movie!! I did it in my head, then on paper, and finally on a calculator just to confirm my numerical capabilities. Each time I got the same answer, and sure enough it IS my ver...
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clazandaza
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OLD WAY OF HOW TO GOOGLE
(Preview)
-- Edited by 2foot6 on Friday 17th of May 2013 03:46:00 PM
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2foot6
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