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FEMALE LOGIC;
(Preview)
CAKE OR BED A HUSBAND IS AT HOME WATCHING A FOOTBALL GAME WHEN HIS WIFE INTERRUPTS, HONEY, COULD YOU FIX THE LIGHT IN THE HALLWAY? IT'S BEEN FLICKERING FOR WEEKS NOW. HE LOOKS AT HER AND SAYS ANGRILY, FIX THE LIGHTS NOW? DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE ENERGY AUSTRALIAWRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO. FI...
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justcruisin01
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0
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832
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Directions
(Preview)
An old man and woman were married for many years, even though they didn't like each other. Whenever there was a confrontation, yelling could be heard deep into the night. The old man would shout, "When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of you...
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barina
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1
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916
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THE FARMER WANTS A ?
(Preview)
HILLBILLY DIVORCE A hillbilly farmer who wanted to get a divorce paid a visit to a lawyer.The lawyer said, 'How can I help you?'The farmer said, 'I want to get one of them dayvorces'. The lawyer said, 'Do you have any grounds?'The farmer said, 'Yes, I got 40 acres.'The lawyer said, 'No, No, you don't un...
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justcruisin01
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0
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814
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A Thought
(Preview)
Breasts without nipples would be pointless.
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Peterpan
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0
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693
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HIGH FINANCE;
(Preview)
A Man walks into a High Street bank & asks for a loan. He tells the bank officer he is going to Australia on business for two weeks and needs to borrow £5,000 The bank officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so the Liverpool lad hands over the keys and documents of...
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justcruisin01
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0
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892
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CACTUS;
(Preview)
It was coming to the end of the day and sitting in his tiny near deserted local pub in Mt. Isa was an Aboriginal called Cactus. He was having a few beers as usual when a short well dressed and obviously gay man walked in and sat beside him. After three or four beers, the gay man leaned over towards Cactus and w...
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justcruisin01
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0
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800
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Married Life
(Preview)
A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "Id like to buy some cyanide." The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?" The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband.&q...
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jimbo
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0
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665
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The ABC
(Preview)
After being married forthirty years, a wife asked her husband to describe her. He looked at her for a while ... then said, "You're A, B, C, D, E, F, G,H, I, J, K." She asks ... "What does that mean?" He said, "Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous,...
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jimbo
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0
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658
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THE OLD COWBOY;
(Preview)
The Old Cowboy The old cowboy sat down at the Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee.As he sat sipping his coffee, a pretty young woman sat down next to him.. She turned to the cowboy and asked, 'Are you a real cowboy?' He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole life breaking colts, working cattle, going t...
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justcruisin01
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0
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808
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Grundies
(Preview)
Had to get some new 'grundies' th other day. Got home opened th 5pack up to put in 'grundies' draw . One of them was a 'Meatloaf' pair Yeah .... honetly On the front it read I will do anything for love on th back But I won't do that. Richo
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Zoomtopz
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0
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674
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GETTING MARRIED;
(Preview)
On their way to get married, a young Roman Catholic couple was involved in a fatal car accident. The couple found themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While anxiously waiting they began to wonder; could they possibly get married in Heaven? W...
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justcruisin01
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0
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828
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PICKLE SLICER;
(Preview)
Yossel Zelkovitz worked in a Polish pickle factory. For many years he had a powerful desire to put his penis in the pickle slicer. Unable to stand it any longer, he sought professional help from the factory psychologist.. After six months, the therapist gave up. He advised Yossel to go ahead and do it...
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justcruisin01
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0
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790
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SO TRUE;
(Preview)
An old drover named Billy was overseeing his herd in a remote stock route in the outback when suddenly a brand-new BMW 4WD advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the old man, "If I...
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justcruisin01
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1
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1021
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Grey Nomads
(Preview)
Old Timers Bar Four old retired guys are walking down a street in Maroochydore. They turned a corner and see a sign that says, 'Old Timer's Bar - all drinks 10 cents! They look at each other, and then go in, thinking this is too good to be true. The old bartender says in a voice that carries across the room, '...
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Cupie
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2
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1119
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MY SATNAV
(Preview)
For all my fellow travellers: MY SATNAV I have a little Satnav It sits there in my car A Satnav is a driver's friend It tells you where you are I have a little Satnav I've had it all my life It does more than the normal one My Satnav is my wife It gives me full instructions On exactly how to drive "It's th...
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Cruising Granny
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0
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803
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I am being brave.
(Preview)
Women like silent men, they think they are listening.
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Peterpan
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2
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882
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Best Bar Joke ever
(Preview)
Guy goes into a bar, there's a robot bartender. The robot says, "What will you have?" The guy says, "Schooner of New" The robot brings back the best beer ever and says to the man, "What's your IQ?" The guy says," 168." The...
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hammer
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4
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1434
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The Admin Chick
(Preview)
A big mining company recently hired several cannibals. 'You are all part of our team now', said the HR manager during the welcoming briefing. 'You get all the usual benefits and you can go to the cafeteria for something to eat, but please don't eat any of the other employees'. The cannibals promised th...
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hammer
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1
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912
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grey nomad pick up line.
(Preview)
Grey nomad is in a bar and sees a nice lady about the same age. "would you like a glass " he says. "yes" she says. "I need one toput my teeth in!" Loa. Bill
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bill12
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1
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1042
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This is your Captain speaking
(Preview)
Shortly after a British Airways flight had reached its cruising altitude, the captain announced: 'Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your Captain. Welcome to Flight 293, non-stop from London Heathrow to Toronto . The weather ahead is good, so we should have a smooth uneventful flight...
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hammer
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0
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798
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