Just Joking

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

'Scotch, with two drops of water please.'~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship And orders a Scotch with two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says 'I'm on this cruise to celebrate My 80th birthday and it's today.' The bartend...

gerard gue · gerard gue

> Jerome is at the bar with his friend Matthew. > He takes his phone and calls his wife Clemence a very dry tone: > - Hello, yes, prepare hot water, I will soon return. > Then he hangs up. > His friend, admiring, said: > - Oh you, you're a real man! This is how it should talk to women with a...

2weis · 2weis

edited with apologies -- Edited by 2weis on Friday 11th of January 2013 04:53:12 PM -- Edited by 2weis on Friday 11th of January 2013 05:36:52 PM

spida · spida

A Muslim bloke was bragging that he had the entire Koran on DVD. Being interested, I asked him to burn a copy for me. . . . . Well, talk about getting upset!!!!!

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

Ain't it the truth!!! They are referred to as homo slackass-erectus created by natural genetic downward evolution through constant spineless posturing and spasmodic upper limb gestures, which new research has shown to cause shorter legs and an inability to ambulate other than in an awkwar...

rockylizard · rockylizard

A son asks his lawyer father about ethics. "Suppose son, that one day a gentleman comes into my office with a simple question. Upon answering the man's question, I charge him $100.00. He is outraged at the bill for such a simple question but agrees to pay. The man reaches in his wallet and grabs a h...

lilly31 · lilly31

FIVE CATHOLICS Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee in St. Peters Square , Rome . The first Catholic man tells his friends, "My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, Everyone calls him 'Father'." ... The second Catholic man chirps, "My son is a Bishop.When he w...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

The Reverend John Flapps was the pastor of a small town church in Ireland .. One day he was walking down the High Street and he noticed a young lady of his congregation sitting in a pubdrinking beer. The Reverend wasn't happy. He walked through the opendoor of the pub and sat down next to the woman. 'MrsFi...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

try explaining this to your grand-kids!) Memory was something you lost with age An application was for employment A program was a TV show A cursor used profanity A keyboard was a piano A web was a spider's home A virus was the flu A CD was a bank account A hard drive was a long trip on the road A mouse pad was w...

rockylizard · rockylizard

Although they enjoyed their new caravan together, it was the husband who was the one who parked the van in parks. He was concerned about what might happen in an emergency. So one day he said to his wife, "Please take the wheel, dear, pretend that I am having a heart attack; You must get the van safel...

Kev-Maz · Kev-Maz

She's single... She lives right across the street. I can see her house from my living room. I watched as she got home from work this evening. I was surprised when she walked across the street and up my driveway. She knocked on my door... I rushed to open it. She looks at me, and says, "I just got home, a...

spida · spida

DO YOU THINK THE CHILDREN OF TODAY HAVE IT TOO EASY? Ma was in the kitchen fiddling around when she hollers out, "Pa! You need to go out and fix the outhouse!" Pa replies, "There ain't nuthin wrong with the outhouse." Ma yells back, "Yes there is, now git out...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

As only the Irish can tell a story!!!!!! Enjoy. Paddy had long heard the stories of an amazing family tradition. It seems that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all beenable to walk on water on their 18th birthday. On that special day, they'd each walked across the lake to the pub on th...

Big Gorilla · Big Gorilla

EXERCISE FOR PEOPLE OVER 50 Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side. With a 2kgpotato bag in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, and then relax. Each day you'll find that yo...

DandS · DandS

Texting codes for seniorsor us old farts with mobiles Young people have theirs, now us Seniors can have our own texting codes: * ATD- At the Doctor's * BFF - Best Friends Funeral * BTW- Bring the Wheelchair * BYOT - Bring Your Own Teeth * CBM- Covered by Medicare * CUATSC- See You at the Senior Citizen...

rockylizard · rockylizard

A young man finds the woman of his dreams and asks her to marry him. He tells his mother he wants her to meet his fiance, but he wants to make a bit of a game out of it. He says he'll bring the girl over with two other women and see if his mother can guess which is the one he wants to marry. His mother agrees to the ga...

biggles · biggles

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ujwod-vqyqA

jimbo · jimbo

Yossel worked in a Ukrainian Pickle Factory. For many years he had a powerful desire to put his penis in the pickle slicer. Unable to stand it any longer, he sought professional help from the factory psychologist.. After six months, the therapist gave up. He advised Yossel to go ahead and do it or he wo...

gerard gue · gerard gue

A glass of wine Error! Filename not specified. To my friends who enjoy a glass of wine.. And those who don't and are always seen with a bottle of water in their hand. As Ben Franklin said: In wine there is wisdom, In beer there is freedom, In water there is bacteria. In a number of carefull...

rockylizard · rockylizard

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	TWO DROPS OF WATER; (Preview) 'Scotch, with two drops of water please.'~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship And orders a Scotch with two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says 'I'm on this cruise to celebrate My 80th birthday and it's today.' The bartend...	justcruisin01	0	997	04:22 AM Jan 13, 2013 by justcruisin01
	THE AUTHORITY (Preview) > Jerome is at the bar with his friend Matthew. > He takes his phone and calls his wife Clemence a very dry tone: > - Hello, yes, prepare hot water, I will soon return. > Then he hangs up. > His friend, admiring, said: > - Oh you, you're a real man! This is how it should talk to women with a...	gerard gue	0	716	06:46 PM Jan 11, 2013 by gerard gue
	good citizen (Preview) edited with apologies -- Edited by 2weis on Friday 11th of January 2013 04:53:12 PM -- Edited by 2weis on Friday 11th of January 2013 05:36:52 PM	2weis	1	780	09:19 PM Jan 11, 2013 by Rip and Rosie
	the Koran (Preview) A Muslim bloke was bragging that he had the entire Koran on DVD. Being interested, I asked him to burn a copy for me. . . . . Well, talk about getting upset!!!!!	spida	0	851	06:09 PM Jan 10, 2013 by spida
	GEN -Y ; (Preview) Ain't it the truth!!! They are referred to as homo slackass-erectus created by natural genetic downward evolution through constant spineless posturing and spasmodic upper limb gestures, which new research has shown to cause shorter legs and an inability to ambulate other than in an awkwar...	justcruisin01	2	714	11:56 PM Jan 10, 2013 by mongrel
	A question of ethics (Preview) A son asks his lawyer father about ethics. "Suppose son, that one day a gentleman comes into my office with a simple question. Upon answering the man's question, I charge him $100.00. He is outraged at the bill for such a simple question but agrees to pay. The man reaches in his wallet and grabs a h...	rockylizard	0	874	11:59 PM Jan 9, 2013 by rockylizard
	MY GOD LOL (Preview) FIVE CATHOLICS Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee in St. Peters Square , Rome . The first Catholic man tells his friends, "My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, Everyone calls him 'Father'." ... The second Catholic man chirps, "My son is a Bishop.When he w...	lilly31	2	1092	05:39 AM Jan 9, 2013 by jules47
	REVEREND JOHN FLAPPS ; (Preview) The Reverend John Flapps was the pastor of a small town church in Ireland .. One day he was walking down the High Street and he noticed a young lady of his congregation sitting in a pubdrinking beer. The Reverend wasn't happy. He walked through the opendoor of the pub and sat down next to the woman. 'MrsFi...	justcruisin01	4	896	05:23 AM Jan 9, 2013 by justcruisin01
	THE ORIGINAL COMPUTOR; (Preview) try explaining this to your grand-kids!) Memory was something you lost with age An application was for employment A program was a TV show A cursor used profanity A keyboard was a piano A web was a spider's home A virus was the flu A CD was a bank account A hard drive was a long trip on the road A mouse pad was w...	justcruisin01	1	867	05:10 AM Jan 9, 2013 by pauline
	What's good for the goose ? (Preview) Although they enjoyed their new caravan together, it was the husband who was the one who parked the van in parks. He was concerned about what might happen in an emergency. So one day he said to his wife, "Please take the wheel, dear, pretend that I am having a heart attack; You must get the van safel...	rockylizard	0	727	04:42 PM Jan 8, 2013 by rockylizard
	Missed out again (Preview) *She's single...* *She lives right across the street.* *I can see her house from my living room.* *I watched as she got home from work this evening.* *I was surprised when she walked across the street and up my driveway.* *She knocked on my door...* *I rushed to open it.* *She looks at me, and says, "I just got home, a...*	Kev-Maz	0	730	03:56 AM Jan 8, 2013 by Kev-Maz
	The Outhouse (Preview) DO YOU THINK THE CHILDREN OF TODAY HAVE IT TOO EASY? *Ma was in the kitchen fiddling around when she hollers out,* *"Pa! You need to go out and fix the outhouse!"* *Pa replies, "There ain't nuthin wrong with the outhouse."* *Ma yells back, "Yes there is, now git out...*	spida	1	797	06:00 PM Jan 6, 2013 by sucastja
	ONLY THE IRISH! (Preview) As only the Irish can tell a story!!!!!! Enjoy. Paddy had long heard the stories of an amazing family tradition. It seems that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all beenable to walk on water on their 18th birthday. On that special day, they'd each walked across the lake to the pub on th...	justcruisin01	0	788	10:14 PM Jan 5, 2013 by justcruisin01
	Exercise for people over 50.... (Preview) EXERCISE FOR PEOPLE OVER 50 Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side. With a 2kgpotato bag in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, and then relax. Each day you'll find that yo...	Big Gorilla	3	887	09:15 PM Jan 5, 2013 by nomadic1
	Texting for Seniors (Preview) Texting codes for seniorsor us old farts with mobiles Young people have theirs, now us Seniors can have our own texting codes: * ATD- At the Doctor's * BFF - Best Friends Funeral * BTW- Bring the Wheelchair * BYOT - Bring Your Own Teeth * CBM- Covered by Medicare * CUATSC- See You at the Senior Citizen...	DandS	5	833	04:58 PM Jan 5, 2013 by mongrel
	Meeting Mum (Preview) A young man finds the woman of his dreams and asks her to marry him. He tells his mother he wants her to meet his fiance, but he wants to make a bit of a game out of it. He says he'll bring the girl over with two other women and see if his mother can guess which is the one he wants to marry. His mother agrees to the ga...	rockylizard	1	884	07:47 AM Jan 4, 2013 by dazren
	Have a chuckle folks .. heh ! (Preview) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ujwod-vqyqA	biggles	0	724	02:16 PM Jan 3, 2013 by biggles
	Pickle slicer (Preview) Yossel worked in a Ukrainian Pickle Factory. For many years he had a powerful desire to put his penis in the pickle slicer. Unable to stand it any longer, he sought professional help from the factory psychologist.. After six months, the therapist gave up. He advised Yossel to go ahead and do it or he wo...	jimbo	0	682	11:56 PM Jan 2, 2013 by jimbo
	A Glass of Wine (Preview) A glass of wine Error! Filename not specified. To my friends who enjoy a glass of wine.. And those who don't and are always seen with a bottle of water in their hand. As Ben Franklin said: In wine there is wisdom, In beer there is freedom, In water there is bacteria. In a number of carefull...	gerard gue	0	813	05:22 PM Jan 1, 2013 by gerard gue
	Remembering an entertainment icon (Preview)	rockylizard	0	707	05:20 PM Dec 31, 2012 by rockylizard
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